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Oct 2020 · 190
Christopher Oct 2020
I fell off and got up.
I ran away and found more junk.
Nothing's ever fixed and corrected because there's always more problems than what you expected.
But will you understand?
Will you cope?
Or will the chains of past have the last laugh when you made a promise to say no more?

Can these patterns continue or will there be a change?
It seems to me you have an understanding,  yet you act so deranged and estranged.
It's worse than our lockdown,
Yet that gave me more answers then than now.
It's like finding the rhyme to orange and then more and more words begin to pour and overflow, overload, self implode
Then no more...

There's an understanding to our problems and it's like a conspiracy,
We fear it in theory but really is it worth believing?
It's not complex as you think,
But it's not as easy as turning off the sink.
We find ourselves fighting more with our thoughts than the ******* government on what we can and what we cannot.

Understandings cannot be prevented, so fly with it and seek more truth. Otherwise you'll be nothing more than a buffoon. And that's on you...
Covid seems bad, but has shown us our ugly.
Oct 2020 · 100
Siren Party
Christopher Oct 2020
They say self care is a main
To prevent you from becoming insane.
So let me lie back and figure it out.

Might take a smoke to or two,
Just to help the view.
Let's dive in deep and think of the sneak leek we seek like in a Disney channel movie.
There's a party and we're down barely floor one.
Let's check it out.

These Sirens are blaring yet we all dance along.
It's something they're all used to dancing around.
Call it my song or call it my calling,
It's a ******* Siren Party.

Where or where have you gone?
It's been 3 months long enough.
It's time to be more than alone.
I'm not alone I got and him and I.
We party like nothing's gonna change.
Grab a cup, kick back, have a drink of the extinct.

There's so much banging at the door yet I dont bother to answer.
It's a party in here where nothing ever changes.
Not even the moves we make or the things we faced.
We're just more laced.

These Sirens are blaring yet we all dance along.
It's somethings they're all used to dancing around.
Call it my song or call it my calling,
It's a ******* Siren Party.
We are aware of your precense yet we treat it like covid...
Oct 2020 · 360
Christopher Oct 2020
I could never believe in such things.
Momma taught me to never make promises.
I'll only have what I make that I say can be,
Even if it means out bleeding the daily dosage than what's given to me.
I trust in it as much as I can.
Until it's like dad coming back with a pack of cigarettes.
It's just an Idea
But more make believe, ya?
Have it Or Not.
Make it or Forsake it.
Sometimes fantasy is better than the picture already given.

I know, I know!
It ain't what it seem!
But it's better just an Idea!

But it's better a fantasy than what you keep feeding me

Dope-a! Morph-a
Feel you in my spine!
I just saw you yesterday with huge *** smile.
But I still can't find you like the rest of my mind.
But Not Obsolete
Im back
Apr 2020 · 171
5 Am
Christopher Apr 2020
Such power it's had.
More than i can recall.
I said these things but
Dreams are just dreams
But love will remain unreal.

Before you never knew anything.
California showed me something,
I thought it was just a moment,
I didn't know what to do.
It only took years of sadness and self hate to really dig deep and tell you what you really meant to me.
God i don't regret a single word since then.
Yet i cant remember what I said.

You know more now.
And nothing will change
Except our friendship
******* ****
I just had to be weird and let my heart grip.
Let every word a rip!
What we said and what we did was true and i told you
Truthfully I do.
But you said no.

I wish i was back in cali and could confess those feelings sooner than later...
Now here i am,
5 am...
Wishing you were next to me in my bed.
Holding you tight,
Loving you close,
Not a worry in sight and making you blush.
You're beautiful
I don't wanna close my eyes.

Reality check...
Good morning...
She means the world to me...
Yet the world ripped my heart.
Mar 2020 · 34
Here it is.
Christopher Mar 2020
I don't know how to create poetry.
I've just used this place as a place for me to rant and try to do so so subtly.
This is the only place i could really say anything without getting shot at by my family and friends.

I just wanna feel like im doing something right for once without feeling like ****.
Mar 2020 · 190
Christopher Mar 2020
Life will continue and time will pass.
Like Vid-19
You'll only be remembered in class.
Mentioned in the worst ways and times.
¿Te acuerdas de tu hermano?
I'll hesitate and say I remember the time i spent contemplating if I'd ever get you or not.

I get it but why?
Leaving me a responsibility I never asked for.
He's mad and sad,
Doesn't even consider that fact I'm passed out
Blacked out
Crossed now
Passed out
Lost now
Doesn't even know the blood forbade the name engraved, he was enslaved to and will change to a new.

Though it won't stay the same, I still hold the title and torch.
The one I'm expected to hold high with pride!
I won't let you down
But i will to him.

I'm sorry all we have is a blurred photo together and that all you could hear was gibberish from my mouth.
But know I love you.
Thick or thin
Sorry brother...
Feb 2020 · 245
The Idea of Pain
Christopher Feb 2020
You and I were close at a time.
Now I don't see a need for you in my life.
the idea that You were part of me made me believe
I was incapable of moving forward was nothing but A lie.

embodied in a wear of my faults,
I wanted to haunt me.
maybe I wasn't good enough.
I felt like a fool.
but You were all I knew.
All I could turn to and believe.
Being Nothing.

scarred and torn, I moved on.
You existed
And Now just I.
1257 will always be engraved as your Grave.
Because I can move on as one.

Never again alone.
I will always fall into a dark part in my life and I will always come out. I needed you as a comfort but now i have something better. I'll feel parts of you now and then but I'll make it with them. 1257 my survivors.
Oct 2019 · 56
Christopher Oct 2019
It's hard to believe or see the things the things I see.
Even though I'm no different
Feels like I'm living on a sheet.

I don't see things moving at the pace they should.
I'm frozen in this one simple frame and it's a bullet going through my brain.

If I try my best to zoom out I can see the things that have and can happened.
Almost as a third eye
Seeing this time line
All in to one piece of paper.
I don't ******* know
May 2019 · 187
Christopher May 2019
Where did I go?
Path ()
Why did I follow?
Regard ()
So why bother?
Care ()
It didn't matter as I followed my heart.
Lost without a thought.

By my mind,
Thinking I was fine,
Following what I thought was right,

Hope ()
I ran
Mind ()
I have become the  past
It just felt great to think () when I was ****** into a great time.
Friends of mine,
Take me high,
High as I never did.
So now,
Brain () I feel,
So chained again not just by a king.
But the deceased.
Because of me,
And my decisions,
I feel

() and ()
Months and months...still I'm haunted and search for peace.
Mar 2019 · 240
My Pockets are Full
Christopher Mar 2019
My pockets are full and anyone could tell.
Thank god they don't point it out,
Otherwise I'd feel like a clown.

Put it here,
Move it there,
Try my coat pockets instead.

My Pockets are full,
now you can see.
But still,
It's best you do not approach me.

For you see,
I would rather ignore it and take it on my own,
rather than someone pricking their hand on my broken pencil.

I know it's not right,
But it's my life.
It's hard enough when you have the need to have all these things in a space,
but believed to be needed because I don't need to believe that not everything is needed...

Including me...

My pockets are full,
It's more than I can handle.
So please step aside,
Because to you I don't matter
The need to feel wanted is strong.
Might as well just whine about it in a site no one knows what's going on in my head at night. All but you. Thank you.
Feb 2019 · 135
Painful Nights
Christopher Feb 2019
Again and again,
I'm stuck facing this brick wall in shame.
My love.
My child.
I feel as if I've brough shame to all these names.
But then again,
Your knives arent exactly clean of blood.

So many times I stay awake thinking of the dreams and things I and we could've had.
But, so was what we had.

I can't look back,
I can't fix what's broken
And I can't keep hooking on to things that I feel can't hooking a chemical that makes these me irresponsible.

So what do I do?
The future is haunted by the past and the past haunts my future. I miss trusting what I thought was love, family, and hope.
Feb 2019 · 177
Hands and Lips
Christopher Feb 2019
Create and destroy.
My heart.
My mind.
My soul.
               Yet you couldn't see my scars
I cut my lip,
I held my hands.
Yet you couldnt see the blood pouring out of my vains.

No one cared.
No one's there.
I'm too ******* scared.

And I'm afraid to die.
My morphine is way over.
More and more.  

Couldn't look up,
Even when he tried to step up.
Enough us enough.

Wrists have been saved
But my hands are damaged.
Lip overflowing with blood,
Ive tried to manage.

Remember these passages...

_ _ _ _
Nothing more to give...
Feb 2019 · 249
Forgot my Toothbrush
Christopher Feb 2019
All nasty and full of gunk.
I fogot my toothbrush at the complex.
One week I've waited and it's still in the same place.
Feels like I was here yesterday.
But I know it's gonna feel like forever leaving.
Thank god I can try to keep clean with my essential back in my hand.
But I still can't help the feeling...

I'm going to loose my toothbrush again.
Still feels the Same.
Jan 2019 · 158
Freely Chained
Christopher Jan 2019
Sing a hymn
Sing a song.
Rejoice! Rejoice!
A slave I am no more.
So now freely shall I roam

Onwards to a brighter future,
To a brand new start.
Pack your things and we'll tear away once that they had started.

But why?
Why burn something so nice?
Claim it for yourself.
Make something new!
Trust me why don't you.

Let's work it!
Keep it as it was,
Maybe place this chain here so I won't forget where I'm going.

Its okay, it's not a like it was before.

Funny how free I thought I'd be once they called it off.

Yet I find myself going back to where it all happened.
Jan 2019 · 330
My friend above
Christopher Jan 2019
Such a day
Such a night.
Quite a sight to see my old friend,
Just like we have every night.

Clyde my friend it's been a while,
Yet I see you everywhere with a warm smile.
My inspiration and my pal.
My only one I can see when all are gone.

Not a word you say,
but if you could,
You would question of where I stay.

"Why so astray from all those who love you dear?
Is there something you fear?
Or something you despise.
Either way, I know how you lie so don't try."

Why should I see you and speak a word when all you do is see me sink in to the abyss of depression.
While I cry and try to think of why I don't need to waste time of making my mind believe there's some kind of guide or ally that I can rely on or whine on...

Why am I an oddity.
Why could I never lie down my life all those times I wanted to just...



It's okay Clyde... I don't know why either.

You know I recollect at these nights but I just keep remembering why I cry most of the time. **** it why can't I stop rhyming
Jan 2019 · 291
Christopher Jan 2019
A game of chance,
But a game of smarts.
So easy to play but easier to lie.
It's not your first time is it?

Not mine.

So great to see you again.
I know you've seen me even now and then. Yet you act like you're some stranger who's never been around.
Such a card.
I can't tell if you're 1 or 11
Switching back and forth till you've become aware of...

All we see is two.  But she doesn't know I see 4
Dec 2018 · 168
Favorite Things
Christopher Dec 2018
As she sings,
Letting her heart about,
It's a beauty to see her change into an outfit suitable for the occasion.
Of course she was somewhere else but they can't tell. That's how we all are.
It's one of my favorite things to see

Watching the two of you craft something new,
I know there's a future out there for both of you. Funny how they pull it off though;
Planning the idea but with few resources and actions.

And to see you paint a colored sky is enough to blind her mind.
Knowing it's just a hobby and I'm still waiting to see you get out and make a dime for these kids is a waste of my time. But it's my favorite thing to see

Especially when all four of you are just wolves deceiving the world. Just like me
I'd really love to run away and paint my sky. But I'd just make her cry.
Dec 2018 · 305
So why not me...
Christopher Dec 2018
4 out of 5 become different.
But the one will change the world.
So why not me?

I've got the plans but no action.
Seems I'm no different than the 4 and 3.
Except I'm not dependent on chlorine or finding the right thing to make me happy.

1 and 2 just remind me that we can all fall into the ability of finding ways of not being so panicky.
Though hold your breath deep and hope these things will stay for a while.
So why not me...
Chlorine and the Right Thing seem so easy and the thing that keeps them from being shakey helps them.
So why not me?
I've already found my thing but the sad truth is there's no way out.

Counseling is a way
Sure talk about why it seems so wrong.
Even though I caught you looking at them the way I do, you still lecture me as if you're not doing it.

I admit I'm an addict
But could you blame me as they blame themselves.
Excuse this excuse that.
So why not me....
I ******* hate myself a lot for my addictions but you know, life is weird. Happens for reasons we do or don't understand.
Dec 2018 · 273
Christopher Dec 2018
Oh Creator, my maker.
So much I thank thee for
But so much I can't say.

So much has passed by but it's been years since we spoke.
Yet my mouth remains tight
As if you had much to say anyways.

I stand here in the position as you have made me.
But life slowly repositions me.

Why bother repeating what you've heard.
Cover your eyes like the weeping angel you are.
My time has come and soon I'll break the chain.
Time to create a new...
Just like they all said...
So let's put action.

Where am I now.

Arise and become anew.

1257 Dear Child
Sometimes my direction changes. Sorry master that u broke your rule but sometimes to please, you have to displease
Nov 2018 · 166
Unsaid Words
Christopher Nov 2018
I don't know what to say or how to say it but we all struggle.

These last couple of months I've take off to myself.
Wondering what to write and what to say but it just seems like any way seems to be have already said.

I've learned to be patient,
I've learned to hold my heart.
It's still a work in progress
And I know I'll end well.

Keep your eyes up and cry down those tears.
It's better you do instead of building it up for many years.

Now remember when I say this, you can just forget.
Write it down in a journal or on your skin.

Change it up,
Guard your heart,
But never ever try to blame your doubt.
Remember what to do it in humility and never it claim it in the name of Fame.
For who you are now is changeable but only if you are willing to put the work.

Sorry if I sounded like a mumble but this is what's needs to be said from the inside of my head.
Glad to hear back but time to take it at my pace what I've gotta say.
Oct 2018 · 361
Classic Runners
Christopher Oct 2018
Everyday I swear is a hassle to just get up,
but it never stopped you from getting the mountains.
I cry and whine but really I'm just walking my mile for the first time.

Though my shoes are already,
seems like my gear is always falling off.
Trying so hard to keep it steady
I look at your directions on what you did but can't seem to see how you did it.

I see you napping on the bench
Right where he used to let watch cars go by.
His bus finally picked him up
So you decided to take his place and take a break.

So while you rest and replan your task's
I'll be on the side calling out your name.
Cause you set an example and set a route for me.

I'll run my course and set it out right
Pass the torch and send the map
I will make this right so they can run their course with a guide.
She's sleeping on the couch and worn out from her race. I run mine so in time, my kin will know
Oct 2018 · 302
Christopher Oct 2018
Come to me
I’ll handle your problems
I’ll tell you how much you mean to me
I’ll show you and be with you

A corner of donations
A letter to say I care

One comes and says thank you
I’ll keep you in mind
Another passes but trashes the letter.

Eventually this pattern of take and receive continues
And still not a concern or thank you to him

Days go by which turn into months,
Then years
Until one day he’s not there.

The people question where he has went.
They go down an alley to see him drunk and high
In worry they go to mend to him

In an attempt to save him, they can’t.
He’s taking his last breath and asks for them to read the letter has for every single one of them

It says
“I wish you an amazing day, I hope to see you succeed in many ways.
I hope you make others proud as I have seen you. Smile and keep your head up. I love you and believe in you with everything you do. And we may not know each other well, I want you to know there’s someone who cares for you. No matter what.”

All of them in shock and disgust realizing they took him for granted
Watched him pass away
Never again to be standing.

Though his small letters made an impact that day
It was daily forgotten within a matter of days....

Why? You see, he didn’t matter to the world. He was simply another man to them
Unless he was cared for and seen, unless he made a big name or had a title, he didn’t matter. And neither do I...
Appreciate the little things you get. The presenters have a hard time believing their time was worth it half the time...
Oct 2018 · 174
Christopher Oct 2018
What I know is a lie

I only see a mask
There’s a prepainted face and the paint is chipping
All i can see is a layer broken and things have become clearer
Not on just him but them

I couldn’t see how much her beauty poisoned
I couldn’t believe her words would stay
I  couldn’t believe what i had done

Sometimes a chain still pulls
Let it be felt and known
But what do you know
My lies have tricked all
And so have theirs

I’m not too far off

They say a tree bares fruit
But it also holds vines
And you can’t let go on what you put yourself on
My view to see you guys in success but mourning pleases me
I’m not a worry
I’ve never been a need
I just wanted
Now I can no longer have

Dark times had struck me and here is my old writings.
Oct 2018 · 171
Christopher Oct 2018
Raised in my pact
Though I can't go back.
She told them it was the last.
I drove Rose to a point I can't go.
So many time do I feel like a fool.
But still I come running back to hear her cry.

No matter what time at night,
I'll run to your howl or cry.
It's not a siren
It's more than a cry
But I'll do my best to get there by your side.

I swear these ears are trained
It makes my head go insane to think if it was ever delayed that I would he too late.
No way.

They never cared and to them it was a whine.
But they've never heard a child cry a night.
I'll do my best to be here for you.
With all my power.
It's because of you,
I spend hours and hours to make a better season for my pups.
But let me hear your howl at night,
I'll be there in a minute with my heart and a knife.
I'll be here till the day you lie.

I swear these ears are trained
It makes my head go insane to think if it was ever delayed that I would be too late.
No way.

Someday a pact
Cover me.
Don't ever think
Don't ever go back.
Maybe you'll come to my
Never give up.
Fight for them.
As I did for her.
I'm a bird and a wolf. I've got you my blood
Sep 2018 · 262
Rhythms and Beats
Christopher Sep 2018
There's nothing really to be said.
Even though here you are,
Wondering what's going through my head.
Don't break a sweat because I said what I've already said.
It's the same beat and rhythm that we jam out to everyday.
Except you thought it'd be better to tune it to your liking.
Just sit back,
Cause it's a way we live.
Cause that's what we've always been about.
Carless and free.
So don't tell me I don't know what you're thinking.

Funny how we think we live and dance the same thing yet we dance all differently on a up or down beat.
Sometimes I feel like I'm jamming with the wrong guy.
Yet he could somehow follow my lines and ties that I've been providing all of y'all since I started to learn how to rhyme in my spare time.  
Truthfully being said, that's a lie.
Feeling the blues but feeling uppity in a jazz vibe. You dig?
Sep 2018 · 224
Accused and Trial
Christopher Sep 2018
I am Guilty

I don't deny that I, me, who you think of as a fool, am guilty of a belief
I was blinded it theived me.

Of course he killed them but he is all part of it anyways.
He's always been the killer but you always let him get away.

I accept my punishment and embrace my sentence.
Though I'm not the first.
So don't correct me in front of their presence

Funny how we forget it though like it's nothing yet we know it still happens.
I guess that why maturing to be me was the only way to become me, I reckon.
"The two thing that interest me about childhood. First is that it's a secret world that lives by it own rules and lives by it's own cuture. The second thing is that we forget what it is to be a child. Which is kind of exotic and strange." -Stephen King
Sep 2018 · 300
Christopher Sep 2018
The heat feels great but it's scorching my heart.
The cold clenches my brain yet I can still feel the pain

What happened to the flowers that bloomed all through the summer?
What happened to our weather?

Is this for the better that the seasons change this way?
Is today the day the leaves decay?

I just want them to stay.
Please don't take my sunshine away
God have it your way but let it pass today so I can sleep on the leaves one last time.
Summer wasn't the best and fall is just the scene 2 to my life in action. Sorry these are sad lately, **** isn't the best here...
Sep 2018 · 482
Daily Coffee Dates
Christopher Sep 2018
Here I lay with you.
Just thinking about what we did today.
I enjoyed our morning drink and our daily talk.
Unfortunately, we missed our morning walk.

There were people coming to see you today and I didn't mind to let them say hey.

Bringing in meals and their feels but I couldnt relate as we had our morning coffee.

The afternoon breeze feels great today, you should come outside and enjoy this amazing day.
I've got your radio in hand so let's sit on the porch and try to understand why I love to hold your hand.

Today has been great but I can't say goodbye with a lullaby.
I'll sing it this time and don't worry, I memorized, rhyme for rhyme.

It's time to say goodbye.
I love you so much and I can't let go.
At least just one more cup before the road.
To keep you up.
And to hold you from slumber.
Just don't close your eyes and say goodnight.
This couch where we sat still feels the same.
Sep 2018 · 1.5k
Christopher Sep 2018
It's memorizing what's in you that bugs me.

Everyday just to start the shift and Remember where you are in my mind.

Just remember what they meant and you'll have no problem.
My mind isn't safe and at this rate, let's hope I become big one day.
Sep 2018 · 804
Bye Bye Birdy
Christopher Sep 2018
Hard to believe it happened so quick.
Just years ago you were mine,
And we had so much time.
We had a great vacation my love.

My sunshine you were and you always will be.
But now you fly east with G and *****.

I enjoyed our getaway to somewhere better.
You made me feel loved,
She made me feel special.
And though our relationship was never existant,
I treat it like someone I really knew just left me to a new continent.

I'll see you next winter when I get too cold at this forsaken retirement home.
Maybe then I'll see the east and I can finally say,
I'll never feel a day.
I'll meet you at the Eastern gates.
Aug 2018 · 223
Christopher Aug 2018
Let me guide you,
Let me light truth.
Truth be told I'd rather just die
Cause I'm tired of lighting my mind.

Didn't mean to be harsh but I'm just tired of having the same idea in my head.
Positivity, enough of these things.
Let me see a darker tone to these poems.
Let me flow be heard and let the words be told.
Death, let it
Words, no credit
No time, nice try
Don't fight it.
Just try it.
Light it up.
Die trying.

I'm just tired of lighting a lie that I'll find my mind at ease.
It's a constant war to believe I'm loved and cared when all that's said are reasons why it didn't matter.

A constant energy sparking even when it's out of order.
My lightbulbs no more so consider me as one of the horde.

Please lord, help me to understand your true words...
I can easily be replaced. What I've done doesn't matter. Years go by and still the scars of the past haunt me
Aug 2018 · 214
A Childish Name
Christopher Aug 2018
You knew it
Said it
Better sometimes if it wasn't mentioned.
Reflection of my actions
Till before, I didn't get it.

Claiming a name to gain people's attention.
C and P are the letters,
That's who they credited.

I'll be better than you,
Boy was I the fool.
To think that I could try and be cool, changing the game to what I thought ruled.
Just remember me then and see me now for what I am.
A future
"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." -JFK.
Aug 2018 · 341
Christopher Aug 2018
You know a lot can be said about our beloved clouds
Seeing high, above the sky
Where planes and birds soar high.
And limits can be going higher everything time.

Even brains and faces are stuck up there.
Of course it's expected to seem them up there in nowhere.

Even we can be covered by God's beautiful gifts.
Saying it's doesn't harm us one bit.

And where I'm nowhere to judge how our clouds can help ease us through the darkest of times, with it's easing aroma,
It's hard to see a brighter side to the mind that can't go on and lights up the sky to to help him see life pass by for 2 hours so sorry I couldn't be the guy to secure you from the harsh crimes life wants to throw at you from front and behind...

Sorry, I got lost in the clouds so if you can excuse me...
Time to get back to reality
Supporter but not a fan. It's hurts to see them caught up there but I can't do much... Sometimes I just wanna get there to not care cause I'm sick of trying to be there when someone needs a care...
Aug 2018 · 1.9k
Triple Dots
Christopher Aug 2018
It's a thought, it's not just about what going on. Or am I wrong. Using such marks to call out a flag of help. Fact is, I'm a Who screaming yopp, I'm friend in a thought. Don't know how long it's gonna go on but help me out...

Here are wE
Listen Please...
Evolution of Help.
Pretty interesting how we find a way to call out for help yet it looks so simple...
Aug 2018 · 201
Suicidal Birds
Christopher Aug 2018
I love to see you fly.
But don't count on me, as they say.
Cause you're the one with wings at the end of the day.

So it's been said that it's natural in us,
To fly high and look so mighty in sky
While millions of others are letting life pass by.
I tell you it's the biggest lie that everyone here can fly.

A hunt to take us down usually succeeds but doesn't get us all.
Sometimes it's because we are already falling to our deaths.
Sometimes we just wanna give in.

You see us run into cars and run into windows.
We just let it take us down cause we're either too caught up in the moment or it's just being caught in our arrongance.

It's just something that's just happening to us.
We can control how we fly or live but in the end...
Our path can lead us in a a path of wrong and hurt.
And it's sometimes just out of our hands...
I miss my bird a lot. But the more I look at it, were more alike than I could ever think.
Jul 2018 · 250
Slowly back East
Christopher Jul 2018
Every morning
I'm enjoying.
Evenings may vary.
But my tanks take care of me.

I shift them both 180 degrees,
Usually they know it means one of two things.
It's time to clean or secure.

But for some reason, one breaks my order.

Slowly shifting towards east, his platoon knows something wrong.
Slowly cause he doesn't wanna raise the heat.
Cause if one sees him too undone,
That's one to not be seen.

Unfortunately a time comes where two has to go back to zero.
Not cause it's time to sleep, not trust me.
They still do protect me after these.

One stays at 90 regardless of what I say.

While I appreciate it, you gotta understand what I'm saying cause I'm done, no more cold ones. It's freezing and I can't take no more. Just turn off.
Just a twist of a **** I wish.

We'll continue our routine tomorrow...

Charlie One: 0° E  Hotel Two: At ease. You've done enough for me.
More entendres than you could see...choose which one you think I'm speaking of.
Like Tyler Joseph said "A kitchen sink to you is not a kitchen sink to me...okay friend?"
Jul 2018 · 366
Open gates
Christopher Jul 2018
Chains no more,
I couldn't see beyond this cell.
Gave me hell
So I thought, oh well.
Define me as the silenced dreamer.

I thought you wanted me here,
You made it clear,
Be seen but not heard
I don't understand,
You never could comprehend.
Now you want me to stand...

I don't know how to feel,
This wasn't real,
Tape undone
Rewind, flashback.
It's in the past but time to let that,
be packed, in the back.

Sir...I didn't know how to tell you when your ignorance to me felt like your work meant more and that I was placed behind a caged door. But no more.

Thank you for listening and taking the time...

1257... Remember that
Severing ties with the past. Of course I'll still write but I order to be right I must now...1257
Jul 2018 · 6.8k
Planets and Lions
Christopher Jul 2018
Even though a lion is trained to keep it's mouth shut, it doesn't mean it can't learn around it.
Stardust has seen and tried to stop me clean of these things that could be.

That blackhole won't solve anything,
Neither will exploding or imploding myself to wits ends.
So let me brief you just this once so listen good and listen well.

Like the lion, find your pack.
No matter how much the storms rain down hell, find a way to dispel.
Write these records, create a contraption to annoy the rains away.
But if there's nothing you can do, and trust me I know cause it's something we've all been through, go to shelter and let the damage be done.

Tomorrow we begin a new, and work around it with your crew, they may know what to do.
It's an experience we all handle.
It's a long life battle.

But at least we're not alone.
If you ever need to talk, comment me and we can handle it. This life is hard be we can beat it together.
Jul 2018 · 1.9k
Christopher Jul 2018
Rise and shine,
Time to start a new!
Or as you could say,
How long till you go your way?

I'll be lucky if you don't start crying, whining or lying about your everyday work.
You could've found better but it's just the beginning so of course it's gonna have it's qwerks.

Barely the middle of it and I can't take ****.
Just take it down and trust me, it'll be real quick.

Quick, here's a tip, don't try to give lip when miss is sick of your trip to this 15 hour shifts cause you can't take a hint that this ain't it your gift or your payment, even though you've been ripped and played and yet you wonder why we shame your decisions.

Oh and don't worry, I'll be here contemplating when Daddy comes home and think, it's just his beginning to an end.

See you tomorrow cause it's the end of just one day.
Don't try to make a profit off of side jobs and self made companies.
Jul 2018 · 369
Split End Borders
Christopher Jul 2018
Center attention.
There's where you stand.
Look no further or less.
Break and you'll find X.

Understand we have to cover where you stand
Otherwise you'll be dragged into foreign land.
There you see just one belief.
Or else you'll be seen as the enemy.

I guess our house divided helped me see,
No one is correct.
Not even me.
Avengers together, but we all fall alone.
Family drama is just another living issue
Jun 2018 · 279
Lying Healer
Christopher Jun 2018
"Swear on your life you'll never tell a soul! SWEAR!"

The more they trust, the more I hear.
Sorry to make you repeat, couldn't hear you clear.
Yes I'll hold this dear,
But promise me you'll become clean.

What did I just see,
I didn't mean to hide these true things,
No I mean...please just hear me please don't, there's no need to scream and shout!

I did it for you
I didn't mean to hurt your heart and send you into these deep thoughts.
Don't seek the truth. It's just knowledge to regret. Just stay wise...
Jun 2018 · 217
Sounds and Feels
Christopher Jun 2018
I've heard you before.
I can hear your tone and yet,
I can't define it's contour.

I  can't say I even used the word right cause I don't know how to explain this storm.

I've tried to interpret.
Believe me, I've tried to work with it.
But the more I think, the bigger it grows.

I wish to understand and help you out.
But what's the point if I can barely figure your thoughts.

I can't fix you and I can't help.
But I can learn and try
Just give me some time.
You don't know what to do anymore.
Jun 2018 · 324
Nothing more...
Christopher Jun 2018
Honor your mother and Father
It's a hard constant thought
It's been taught
So many times yet I can never keep that locked

I honor her even though she's dead
I honor him yet he's gone too
Seeing him though is a pack of lies
All I see is a glutenous fool
So spare your "tries"
I'm not your misconcepted tool
It's not what a dad does

You can call him by a title yet his colors will show another .

Sugar coat it like I'm a naive child but after a while
I saw that smile become a...
Trust me you say
s t o p  i t

I've had 3 and believe me they have names...
But they are set by me.
And don't try buying tryer cause liar could never be the supplier like the grand who showed me I can go higher than all of...Cliars

But what does it matter when you're a brick wall who shuns me...
A holy Trinity but more earthly.
Grand if you can read this, thank you.
Liar, hope you're safe but buzz off
Tryer, test me and you'll be on the ground soon
Jun 2018 · 305
Bus Boys
Christopher Jun 2018
I watch the birds fly by
Thinking of where they’ll go
My naive mind in the clouds not worrying a bit
I still question though
What is it that this boy sees

Across from me he thinks
Unknowing his life and what he’s got to come.
His fingers pretending to run on string
Going to a place more than south
I can hear him sing a tune that’s familiar to my ear

Boy do I wish to be him
And never know of a dark time
Hopefully he doesn’t take a glimpse

Too bad we grew up with these same thinkings...
CTA Buses are fun when you're looking at yourself contemplating on pulling the string to mess with everyone
Jun 2018 · 352
A Lost Love
Christopher Jun 2018
Take me to the bus
Hold my hand and tell me how you feel.
Because those moments felt so real.
Mommy and Daddy couldn't so you were my ones.

I can recall curling around your back,
Like a dog does on your bed just to feel that security.
Just teaching me about the world and seeing me reach to a new level of maturity.

Being there to hold my hand and show me the way was the life, until those nights where I said goodbye.
Even on this night it's hard to forget your love and affection.
Now I just long for that same attention.

Momma can't give it like you did,
Daddy can't make up for those moments we spent stealing grapes at the store.
I don't mean to make then sound so low but,
There's no way to without speaking these true words.
Helen Aguilar Contreras 192? - 2015
Emilio Contreras 193? - 2016
I love you
Jun 2018 · 234
Christopher Jun 2018
Close your eyes
Take a deep breathe
Go deep in your mind
Now open to see.

Is it really just a fogged up world you're caught believing?
Or is it the a fantasy dream?
You tell me Mr. Wonka.
You will won't ya?

Are the paintings alive or are the buildings full of working lines.
Has it just been me to see the world so differently?
Oh me, oh my!
No wonder you look so lifeless, my guy.

Tell me do you dream, of things?
You know the dreams that had a stream
To a tower,
A ship,
Or even a distant devourer
that you would conquer
And be praise for taking down such power?

It's time to case you up,
Til our new look  and ask of the same.
To which we will be tested,
Are you still there?
Or did they lock you behind the stairs?
"Mommy, Daddy, can we play pretend?"
Jun 2018 · 260
Accused and Trial
Christopher Jun 2018
I am Guilty

I don't deny that I, me, who you think of as a fool, am guilty of a belief
I was blinded it theived me.

Of course he killed them but he is all part of it anyways.
He's always been the killer but you always let him get away.

I accept my punishment and embrace my sentence.
Though I'm not the first.
So don't correct me in front of their presence

Funny how we forget it though like it's nothing yet we know it still happens.
I guess that why maturing to be me was the only way to become me, I reckon.
"The two thing that interest me about childhood. First is that it's a secret world that lives by it own rules and lives by it's own cuture. The second thing is that we forget what it is to be a child. Which is kind of exotic and strange." -Stephen King
Jun 2018 · 262
It's Complicated
Christopher Jun 2018
Tell me the truth.
Speak to to me how you truthfully feel.
You can't hide these things, they're real.
I would but it's not as you think

When you ask for a truth, you're asking for a newborn
When you want how I feel, believe me that the winds breeze could speak more than me
See these things could rain hell or something
So please, be warned

When you're asking for something you want to know, just know it's like any other person, it's complicated.
I can't rely on my feelings. They're like a promise from the government
May 2018 · 264
Inhale And...
Christopher May 2018
The suspense kills them
Or at least the parents who support
Awaiting for the cue
If I don't in a few, I'm gonna pass out.
So without further a due
Breath and...
Is it just me?
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