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Andrew Layman Sep 2020
Relax,
and breathe in the sour mange,
tread marks etched into asphalt.
what can it be?
what was it before?
only the smell of tomorrow.
I guess---
we'll never know now
why it tried to cross the street.
maria Jun 2020
I didn't hate you
but
you made me
hate love
and for that
I'm
disgusted
forgot to love

written on June 20, 2020
© ,Maria
Ingram Apr 2020
I remember putting on my white dress,
trying to hold back tears from stress.
I knew deep down that I never wanted to walk down that aisle,
but my feet kept moving with a perfect, fake smile.

I put all my faith in God above,
and I even prayed to feel His love.
Because all I wanted was to do the right thing,
and I truly believed that getting married to a man would fix everything.

One year later I am back where I started,
but this time with divorce papers feeling cold-hearted.
I never wanted it to end this way,
and how naive of me to think I was strong enough to stay.

Now I just want to hug my mom while I cry out,
but she is disgusted with the fact that I came out.
I am filled with tears of hatred and shame
because I lit up my life with an irreversible flame.

I asked for this.
I asked for all of this.
Night Sky Apr 2020
This world disgusts me

This world disgusts me because
when I see my best guy friend cry
I get weirded out
Not because guys crying is weird
but because I've always been told
they don't

this world disgusts me because
when I mention to my brother
that girls liking girls
is okay
he lists all the reasons
Jesus says it isn't

This world disgusts me because
I have to text one of my best friends
and make sure she ate today
because she wants to lose
ten pounds
and she'd give anything to do that

This world disgusts me because
when I sit in my
French class
and the teacher makes eye contact with me
and sees that I am crying
he keeps teaching, parce que c'est la vie

This world disgusts me because
when my chemistry teacher
looked at me and my friend goofing around
he assumes we don't feel the "academic stress"
when I cry over my grades three times a week
but he didn't ask me about that

This world disgusts me because
my brother, the same one as before,
refuses to call someone
we know
by their chosen name and pronouns
because "it's a free country"

This world disgusts me because
when I switch effortlessly between
sobbing and looking fine
my teacher calls me
"The finest actress he's ever seen" but
doesn't ask why I hide my emotions so easily

Disgusting
bathed myself in bleach
and scrubbed my skin with rubbing alcohol
when i light myself on fire
i feel somewhat better
and i have swept the kitchen floor a lot
almost obsessively
but when i walk around i still feel dirt on the bottom of my feet
i am surprised i still have the ability to feel anything
i tried drinking gasoline and licking flames

i am a freak
a coward
so things didn't work out
still,
i am used to disappointment
and,
i am used to hating myself
I'm a monster, I'm a Pig, I'm Dirt, I'm nothing. How can I make anyone happy
Christopher Dec 2018
As she sings,
Letting her heart about,
It's a beauty to see her change into an outfit suitable for the occasion.
Of course she was somewhere else but they can't tell. That's how we all are.
It's one of my favorite things to see

Watching the two of you craft something new,
I know there's a future out there for both of you. Funny how they pull it off though;
Planning the idea but with few resources and actions.
Unbelievable!

And to see you paint a colored sky is enough to blind her mind.
Knowing it's just a hobby and I'm still waiting to see you get out and make a dime for these kids is a waste of my time. But it's my favorite thing to see

Especially when all four of you are just wolves deceiving the world. Just like me
I'd really love to run away and paint my sky. But I'd just make her cry.
Nomathemba May 2018
He came in looking like prince charming
Sold me dreams
Made me feel young again

Oh mama
He touched me

I could hear him breathe so heavily
I could feel his weight suffocating me
His filthy hands were on my body
And
When he was done, he chuckled
Gave a satisfied look
I turned away
Face wet with tears
A scream of cry came out
Instantly, he gave me
A daring look
And told me to hush little one
Fore he did me a favor

Oh mama
He hurt me so bad

Disgusted with myself
Walking around
And every man looks like him
Filled with anger
Burning desire for revenge
But instead
I was told to
Hush little one and to
Never speak of it ever again.
I realized that so many women are victims of **** and speaking about it is hard. I've seen women around me feel embarrassed and the amount of scars they carry everyday because of what happened to them; I decided to put myself in their shoes to try to capture the emotion behind such a disgusting and absurd transgression and wrote this.
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