i apologise for any toxic energy i have given you.
im learning to be a better me,
correcting my wrongs.
i can only learn and move on.
im sorry for the ****** ive done...
im only human
my worst days now
are my best days then
and i have never felt more alive
we walked together through that old wooden fence
then you asked, 'can we please, please dance?'
I said I was too tired to do anything
'how come you never ask me to dance now?' you asked
I said I didn't know
you looked away from my eyes
nearby a rivulet quietly flows
'now we are built on lies'
I agreed, but I said something else instead
'look, honey, you know I love you'
I was honestly lying
you were right to say what you have said
you looked beautiful today, darling
in that white, white dress of yours
kissing your father's cheek
and your mother's hand
nothing is left of us, darling
at the end none of us were trying
but today I saw you smile again
though you belong to another home now
though I had to say the hardest line in this little life of mine
congratulations on your wedding, Gina.
I'm happy for you
a simple poem of maturing former lovers and congratulating the lady for her wedding.
i’ve learned this past year to just be yourself and embrace it. no point in fighting it if people are going to judge you no matter what. not that it’s that easily achieved to just be you. but just doing stuff you want to not because someone else wants you to is so liberating.
grow and learn, learn to grow
Yesterday and tomorrow
All in a memorable row
Happiness and sorrow
Always a few more to go.
Laughter and sadness
Marching through time.
Dealing out character
Each of us must find.
Lovers and some losers
Each kind had their say.
Whatever they did to us
Made us who we are today.
We all had to learn about
The liars and the thieves.
We taught ourselves not
To do what makes us grieve.
We learned to reward ourselves
For living and getting strong
Even when our history has
Gone quite suddenly wrong.
We are the ones who count
And must add up the score.
So, we are the wones who know
What our life has been for.
Whining does so little good
And makes others turn away.
It’s up to us to find the words
We need to hear and say.
So we do what we can in life
And deal with what we’re given
And learn we can't have it all
Wrapped up in a pretty ribbon.
Give in. Give in.
To blackness shrouding out hope.
It matters not my earnings nor blessings,
Let pain, let bitterness swallow me whole.
Give in. Give in. Give in.
To my darkest hours of sorrow.
The spark of flames offer none to the blind,
Let hurt, let emptiness swallow my soul.
Written 4 years ago.
And even when experiencing pain
The lies of guys I was unwise
To let between my thighs
Because their eyes beguiled
Every time they smiled and I
Could not prematurely say goodbye.
Instead I took the guy to bed
Despite the murmurs in my head
And said stupid things in his ear
That I regretted that year and still
And yes, I probably always will.
Some guys tell lies with their eyes
In a kind of non-verbal disguise,
Of bigger and sadder untruths
That a green youth suspect exist
So that I didn’t resist temptation
To ignore deceit and exaggeration
For a moment’s hope for romance
And an afternoon’s hopeful chance
At something profound and legendary
That I forgot I needed to be wary.
Then the surprises in my eyes
As I realized I was unwise
But still thought I loved the guys,
Time and time again, trying,
Forgetting the crying and chagrin,
Then brave enough to try again
Taking time to learn to swim
In the river of romantic dreams
That starts in a tiny little stream
Going on until I sink or scream
Love is not something from a magazine.
Then one day I wake and say
No more! I finally know the score.
The whole game is a sick bore
And I know what it is all for.
It is for the wises route to wisdom.
To know I am finally through with them,
To know which ones are bad for me
And which to welcome gratefully;
To set the table and make dinner
And know for sure, he’s a winner.
I share the concept happily,
For those who ask me seriously,
That dating can be successful
Can even be fun and restful
If you ignore the glittery butterflies
That cavort and lie with their eyes
And want only that momentary thing
But are deathly afraid of the ring
And the promise that comes with you.
Don’t applaud those who gig you.
And choose from those who dig you.