I find it strange that when I look into your eyes I'm not met with an endless starry sky. The world around me doesn't freeze or turn monochrome around everyone but you. I don't see an endless sea or visions of a setting sun, no matter my determination. So how do I know it is love if it isn't as the words I've heard all my life describe?

Yet my heart still drops when you walk into the room, even when your focus is a place far off. People say it's like a flutter but this is far too heavy to use such a light word to describe such a feeling. It's painful, but I know it isn't something ominous or bad because it feels right. How do I know it is love if none if my words describe it right as they should?

I get it every time our eyes meet or you tilt your head and smile with your head in the clouds. I get it when you laugh to yourself or say something hardly above a whisper. When you focus so hard you ***** up and let out that silly sigh of aggravation and I feel such deep affection. Yet is it alright for me to say what I feel is love when I can't even tell myself what love is?

I don't think your eyes need starry skies or my stomach needs a million butterflies. Your smile doesn't need to illuminate the room and my thoughts for you don't need an anchor. Your love shouldn't have an expectation and my words don't need to have a proper diction.

Perhaps I'll see it in your heart or feel it in your touch one day if you feel the same regardless of what the world has sold me with their modern day poetry. I promise you that no matter how hopeless I become I will find out for myself  what it means to love you wholly, even if I have to find out from loving at a distance.

You don't know me
The places I wanna see
The things I want to know
What I want to be told
No, you don't know me

You can't hold me
Or tell me everything's alright
When I know you hold her
Like you used to hold me

You tell her she's made of gold
You know her favorite food, her favorite dress
And all the other things
That you don't know about me

I know you've memorized
Her face, Her voice
Yet when you turn around
Can you even remember my name?

I guess it's too much to ask
For redamancy these days
As loyalty has gone out the window
A word of the past

But you used to tell me
That I was made of gold
And that in your arms
I was only yours to hold
But your hands have roamed
So far away from me

And it's not fair
To make me watch
As you do with her
All you did with me

We used to talk about the future
But in a single heartbeat
You have changed our destiny

All those words of yours
Come back and haunt me
Everytime you called me beautiful,
Was it just practice for telling her?

Well you were right about one thing
I am made of gold
And that girl of yours
No matter how much you try
To mold her into me
She will only ever be pyrite
Just a cheap imitation
Of the treasure you will never hold

I want
To fall in love with someones smile
To swoon under their gaze
To become dizzy with their touch

I want
To crave someone like an addiction
To nestle up to their warmth
To get an adrenaline rush from their scent

I want
To hold them and never let go
To tell them how much I love them everyday
To keep discovering them like it's my personal quest

I want
To give them my heart
To love them for all that they are
To keep them from the tainted world

I want
But what can I do with these contaminated hands?
How dare I try to hold them close with these hands of mine flowing thick with lies?
To tell them sweet nothings with my corrupted tongue?

My love
Is like a wildfire
Sudden, quick, and innocent
Without my permission my little spark turned into a flame
And consumed everything that contained a letter in your name

My love
Is like a wildfire
Untamed, ephemeral, and dangerous
It destroys all it touches,
Breaking barriers, burning bridges
It envelopes everyone in its warmth leaving no option but to run or turn to ash

Beware of my wildfire love
You cannot leave unscathed
I leave a scar

Beware of my wildfire, love
Because I'll burn enough for us both
I'll keep you warm on cold nights and dry on rainy days
I will set your heart ablaze and love you with all the force of my wildfire

Beware of my love,
It can't be forgotten nor replaced

Out of all these poems I've written of love and longing,
Out of all these years searching in the sea of people,
I still yet to understand how it's possible to have words without a muse

I often wonder what it would be like to have a muse without words
I believe it would feel suffocating
As you choke on all the words you long to exhale within your next breath
For a poet to be trapped by words is to be trapped by passion

Sometimes my heart swells up so big it walks across a sea of words and sinks into the deepness of the waters
Lost among the clearer beats on land
An abnormality pushed away from love like an ancient curse buried in my skin
One day i'll make it learn to swim rather than let it sink and bathe in sin

The question still remains
Would it be better to have a muse and feel like drowning,
Or to have the the words to accompany the lonely?

Life is a rose
Sometimes it showers you in its petals
Sometimes it makes you grab it by the thorns
But even when you bleed the rose is still the prettiest gift you'll ever recieve

My favorite flower will always be the radiant sunflower,
But my life sprouts from the seed of a rose
And I may never be as tall or happy as a sunflower

But I still refuse to walk away from the sun
The beams like glitter dancing off a dream
A dream I'm too small and scared to reach

I am not afraid of being and accepting who I am
This little garden patch grows despite going through the harshest summers, dryest droughts, and most desperate winters
Other roses wilt and wither away

I make this garden shine with the sunflowers in my eyes

I don't need a man who wants a princess
I don't need those expectations
I won't paint my nails or wear high heels

I want someone who will understand
That some days are just for sitting indoors
Playing video games and ordering takeout

Sometimes you just want to hang out
Watch a horror movie or write a poem
I want someone who can understand some days are slow

I also want them to know that some days are fast
Sometimes you just need the rush of riding a skateboard or throwing a frisbee
Sometimes you just need to feel the notes of a guitar till your hands are numb

I don't want someone who thinks I am only silent and reserved
Because I will crush you in your favorite games
I will tire you out with my favorite things

I don't want someone who thinks they are temporary
I will write about you and immortalize you through my art
Keep your expectations away and I'll surprise you every day

Love, why do you make my heart bleed?
It leaks thick red plasma that stains on my fingers
As I try to conceal the pain and hide it deep within
My own two hands reach up and take my breath away

The lies you speak catching in my lungs
Forget keeping appearances, I'm suffocating
The answers seem so clear
As I gasp for air

In shock I stare down at my hands in horror
As I find they are replaced with your own
This sudden display leaves me in disbelief
I don't want to see all the truth coming up to smother me

I wasn't smart enough to stay away
From those treacherous arms that promised safety
As they had planned from the beginning
To clench around my throat and liquidate all my strength and glory

Before we even said our first hello's
You planned the end before we began
Love, I will make your heart weep
What you give out comes back to you

I will get you on your knees
Begging for forgiveness
Till they become bruised and give out
I will break you down before you dare to believe you've won

If you are iniquity think of me as your karma,
You will never win

I wonder what it feels like
To hold the world in your hands
And let it slip from your grasp

Suppose I'll never know

It took looking at your pictures today
To remind me why I deteste your name
Taking them before I didn't know they'd linger with pain
Curse the digital world
Where I can't watch you turn to ash in a radiant flame

I don't have an issue with self confidence
A repetitive lie I've begun to notice that I tell
It's like the pain in my chest when I see other people's success compared to mine
I ignore both

When I read other writing I start out feeling so much inspiration
Then I reflect back on my own and feel incompetent
Because I can't write what they write
I can feel what they feel through their words
Something I wish I could accomplish

It's jarring and frustrating
I keep judging myself
The very thing I've run from has become my life

I can't escape the judgmental ways of this world
not from my father
not from my mother
not from my brother, my sister, or anyone
not even from myself
Because like it or not, the judgment is me

It's soaked into my veins
Like an obsession, an addiction
I wish I could pray it away,
But I don't have any faith
There is no God to save my soul
To give me pity
To take my sins away

There is only scrutiny over my every move
Whether it comes from within or someone else
It's not something I can wash away with a prayer

They say I am too young to understand the way the world works.
They say it as if I'm not already aware of the wars in foreign lands or violence in our homes.
As if I don't know of the fear of death.
The price of freedom.
The cost of living.

They say it as if I don't know about the shootings or the homicides.
As if I'm unaware of those making a living off of selling poisons to others
Or of the ones who sell themselves to stay alive.
They think I don't know about ***, drugs, death, fear, pain, or life itself.

Nothing is hidden in this world.
Your children grow up knowing about horror and crime.
Its ridiculous to shelter them from what they already know.
You believe they are innocent until they turn 18,
But little girls and boys grow up with pain.
There are no thoughts that you can contain.
They will find answers to the questions even if you dont want them to be found.

Your voice scares me
It's as deep and sudden as thunder
Yet when you speak
It's like a mellifluous melody that I can't quite place

I don't know why our eyes always seem to meet
Am I looking for you, or are you looking for me?
Just why do you appear in all my nightmares?
With a smile you always change the scene into a dream

When I think I've finally managed to tear you away
Your eyes stand guard in my mind
As if daring me to ignore you
Daring me to ignore the pounding in my heart

It's always been your eyes
They haven't left me since the moment they met mine

The first time you said my name sent shivers down my spine
I was surprised you knew it since we barely spoke
We were always like that
Just a sentence or two ever so often

That didn't stop me from wondering what you were really like
Behind your cold brooding exterior that made everyone afraid
Everyone but me, I knew you were just misunderstood
I'm sure deep down you are just as scared

You put up the front to keep away the vulnerability
But behind your tall walls you shelter all your insecurity
Allow me to be the first to peer past
I'll let you into my mind if you let me into yours

Crawling through my brain till it has made channels connecting to tunnels like little circuits replacing my nerves, the little worm I call Loneliness wriggles onward.

A constant motion of forward goes that worm, bringing with it a never ending feeling of monachopsis.
Day after day it dwells in my mind as the worm carries on.

It adapts and evolves finding a solution to every mastermind plot I find from removing this creature, this beast, this worm from my mind.

“Friendship is betrayal, they all leave and deceive in the end,” it whispers through my head as if another conscience inside my being.

I fear the worms words and obey every command. Dare I disobey what dismay would come my way?

“Happiness is a lie along with perfection, never trace your hands along such deadly lines, the lines of which a mortal mind should never tread,” he says using my beliefs against me. “Happiness is for those who belong, not for you, never for you!”

The worm screams those words through my mind anytime I laugh or smile reminding me not to be so daft.

Oh beautiful, wonderful,brilliant demon of mine.
Keeping me from trying to find ways to end the suffering in my life

Morbid torment in the back of my mind,
Keeping me from trying to find ways to silence the loneliness screaming within, bringing me further into the dark.

What would I do without you, dear Loneliness?
You cloud my mind and free me from my foolish desires.

Why should I not be alone?
If I was meant to feel together,
Then together surely I would feel.

Why should I feel happiness when happiness isn’t mine?
How selfish I would be without you holy creature,
Beautiful blessed worm of wonder.

Why did it take us a year to fall apart?
Did we ever fall in love in the first place,
Or did we meet each other just to replace
A lonely void we dreamt to erase?

Had I known you were that sort,
I'd never have let you hold my hand.
I'd never have let you make me smile.
I'd have never allowed you into my heart, into my mind.

Had I known you'd laugh and lie
With the same lips that used to kiss mine,
I'd have never let you near
To all those things that I held dear.

Love is the crossroads of two garden paths
The thing about loving is that it is selfless
I will want to love you more and think of myself less
So I choose to walk your path and tend to your beautiful flora
While I forsake my own in your love and care
It is you and I who decide when we wilt and when we flourish

But will I let it wilt in the end?

I often ask myself why I spend so much time learning another language
Why do I obsess and stress over something by my own will?
What do I have to gain, why do I want to teach and translate this foreign tongue?

Yet every night I force new words into my mind
And it makes me feel so calm and distracted
All my fears and concerns fade away as I take this information into my brain
I see nothing but beauty in every character I write so much so that I often write in the wrong alphabet
To me it's the most perfect and beautiful script
It's like riding a bike for the first time everytime I translate in my mind
The culture and language has found its way into my heart

I've fallen in love with the language like you do a person
Slowly, then all at once
Without understanding at first but slowly uncoiling the wonderful beauty before my eyes
I've found my passion and my saviour all at once
There is power in words which spawn from language
Every new term I learn makes me feel just that much stronger
Enough to feel invincible

We always talks about putting our broken pieces back together
Or we speak of mending another with tape and glue
Like stitches that won't undo
But putting the pieces back together wont make them new
Why don't we ever think about picking up each others broken parts
And placing them where ours once were
Instead of fixing a puzzle with missing pieces
Why don't we become art
And fill each other with beautiful parts?

All that you find broken about yourself
All that I find rotten within my hollow shell
Are colorful pieces to complete a work of art
If you take some of me and make it beautiful
Then perhaps one day I too could see the beauty I betray
I'll do the same for you as I collect these magnificent additions
To the masterpiece that I make of myself
One day we will become Mona Lisa and The Starry Night
Not only will we be the art we will become the artists
As grand as DaVinci, as unique as Van Gogh
We will fill this world with our broken art
And make others learn that there is beauty in every splintered part

I see a rainbow sea of people
I see your culture; your history
I see your pain; your fear

I don't want to erase the battles you've won
I don't want to belittle your fight
I don't want to erase your uniqueness

I want to see a painting with the colors of life
I want to recognize your diversity; your struggles
I want to see your healing; your relief

I don't want blissful ignorance
I want to see the truth

You held my hand today
I'll spend the rest of the week
Thinking of everything it could mean

I would cover you head to toe in the most dazzling darkest of lace
but you shine so brightly that even the darkest of fabrics and cloth
could never sheathe your radiant glow and contain your luster

I wish I could hide you away in a place so very dark, so secure
I'd bury you in a billion rose petals to blanket your eyes, your lips
to keep you from the world of temptation, lust, and sins

If only I was selfish enough to take you a million worlds away
away from this unworthy and inadequate life of insecurity
fear of losing you takes over my being, I fear someone else will see

all your beauty and light seeping from the flower beds
glowing from under all that lace and spilling into the world
filling all those tainted people with thoughts of stealing you away

but I can't keep you to myself, I'll not allow such selfish actions
I can't keep the sun, the moon, and the stars from the earth
you are needed for warmth and sustenance, to control the ocean

You are the light that decorates the night sky with illumination
as if the sky was kissed by glitter, you make up every constellation
you are my shooting star, safe to view and wish upon from afar

Through her fingertips she casts a pretty little spell
It fills with words she feels about a petty little devil
Replaced by her blind rage, a hex slips past her lips

Never ******* a pagan witch

Late night phone calls
Conversations and sapphic dreams
Days got so long
I couldn't keep her entertained
It’s haunting and painful
Loving what you can’t hold

Coldness crept beneath the warmth
I thought she gave
Ensnared me; constricting
I couldn’t breathe
Thought I was breathless because I loved her
But she killed me with her sweetness

Worry, confusion
Tainted memories
Agony and heartache
Looking back in vain

I’m blurry, misguided
Troubled and insecure
Uncertain and lonely
Trying to find a cure
To all of my despair
Thought she was something more

Wet and red
As my wrists bled
She was there
In every tear I shed
What a haunting way
To honor
The memory of a ghost

Priestess in my memories
Temptress in my dreams
Why was it so easy?
So easy to leave me?
To hurt me?
How was it so easy to let me go?

I’m still holding on
To all the things I can’t recall
You must have took them all
On our last call
The sound of your laughter
The sound of your voice
Choking on your tears
I still remember

Worry, confusion
Tainted memories
In the tea stained color
Of her eyes
Agony and heartache
Looking back in vain

I’m blurry, misguided
Troubled and insecure
Uncertain and lonely
Trying to find a cure
To all of my despair
Thought she was something more
But I was colorblind, I should’ve known
When our love was blue in a world of red

Domestic violence in my heart
With eyes that wage a war
And lips that speak of more
He takes our ******* and calls it art

You aren't a man
If you think you can not only treat her like an object
But forget that she is a part of me
That we work together as a whole machine

You aren't a man
If you think you can hold out your hand
And she will simply crumble into it
Because its what you demand

You aren't a man
You are desperate and lonely
Looking for something to fill the void I left behind
But dont you dare try to fill it with her
I wont let you defile her mind
And she wont let you in

You are a boy
Not man enough for her
Not man enough for me

Once upon a deadline dreary,
In an office bleak and weary,

The hours we spent with work and play
Now seem to pass like a distant day
And as I look upon each friendly face,
I feel the sting of time and place

As I bid farewell to those I hold dear
My heart is heavy with the weight of sorrow
For though you go forward with hope and without fear,
It is steps further away from the times we shared
And I'll miss the friendships that I've come to know

So let us say farewell with heavy hearts,
As each of us moves on to different parts
But know that in our souls, we'll always hold
The memories of our time, both warm and cold

As you pack your things and prepare to depart,
Know that memories will linger on
Your presence, once a comfort to our heart,
Will now be felt in silence, a mournful part

Though distance may separate us, I'll keep in mind,
That true friends are never truly left behind

Lips are not the only playground for liars
Their eyes are holding back storms
Like cauldrons brewing lightning
With such a high voltage
To shock you so suddenly
You will forget there ever was
A word named truth

A picture paints a thousand words
but even a thousand words
is not enough to paint
a picture-perfect portrait of you
too ethereal, too unique
pulchritudinous in the way you think

Let's take a hundred thousand pictures
so we can make a novel out of you
Let's take a hundred thousand pictures
so the world can learn that perfect isn't a myth
perfection is hidden within your smile
within your eyes, within your voice

Let's take a hundred thousand pictures
so I can immortalize you in my art
Let's take a hundred thousand pictures
and maybe then I'll have all the words I need
to make you believe me when I tell you
just how perfect you truly are

You can never look more beautiful
Than you do through a poet's eyes
Especially if that poet only looks for you

A poet's eyes see the truth
We see what the rest of the world ignores
Every seemingly insignificant detail we turn into a whole other world

A broken piano
A speck of dust

A missing sock
A single staple

A shrunken sweater
A fallen feather

The world is full of wonder
But none like they are
To a poet who takes in all that is offered

You will never see how beautiful you are through a poet's eyes
You will find it in their words as they try to describe
The indescribable perfection they see before them

A speck of gold hidden by coal
The kind of magic that tears your soul
Released from the fingertips of someone bold

A light within the dark
Sings a song inside my heart
A sound to fill the silence

The way he glows
You'd think the sun was in his veins

How could I spell out love when it is absent of her name?
The way her eyes reflected a sunrise, the envy of Eos
She was like honey in the sky, the amber of her energy enraptured me
      I was bewitched

She was a masterpiece drawn with starlight, unfathomable beauty
An ivory sculpture crafted by the hands of a god, masterpiece of Hephaestus
I remember the time I was blessed by that smile,
     A vilified promise

The scent of patchouli and the taste of my favorite tea
Like ambrosia for a mortal, that sweet taste of paradise
Sunflowers and the many other favorites that she gave me
     Stolen without a word

She used to call me late at night to talk about her day
But the days for me got longer, I couldn't keep her entertained
Such a coldness hid underneath the warmth I thought she gave me
     Gone like a ghost in the night

I thought I was breathless because I loved her, now I’m suffocated by the agony
She was killing me underneath the sweetness, constricting like a boa
And when I close my eyes to see the memories lapse she's still in them
     Haunting me like she wanted

Eros' is golden arrows struck me hard and shamelessly
Through my heart and left a scar, chasmic and wide
Her toxic serotonin left me high, addicted to her energy
     A limitless euphoria

I spoke to the gods above and I told them of my love
What a liar she's made me out to be, the clever snake
I begged that Aphrodite let my words reach her
     But they fell on deaf ears

Now I pray that Anteros relieves me and hears my plea
Unravel these feelings in my heart, lift the anchor of her name
Don't let me be the sole carrier of the blame
     For the ruin that remains

Like a shooting star
You passed me quick and quiet
I forgot to wish

5 years is too long
It's a habit and I took too long to grab it
I let it slip through my fingers into the deepness of my sleep
The parasite ****** it dry and stole the sandman, father time
I can no longer tell reality from this sideways world in front of me

I could cure this horrid habit
Instead I stay silent and pretend I don't have it
I am weaker these days, far more than before
I used to be able to feel the freedom in the sun
Now I'm blinded by the light of a raging dawn

The wheels collide with the jagged ground (As sometimes so do I)
Smoothly gliding across as if sailing through a calm ocean
The wind wrapping me in it's safe and calming embrace
Cleansing me of the worst parts of me
All the anger, anxiety, and sadness is left behind
As I roll over them on my magic board
In those moments I feel free, safe, and certain
I'm not confused or mistaken
I know for once what I'm feeling and what I'm doing
Although it may not be true
I feel as though this little wooden plank with wheels
Could take me anywhere
Across the sea or to another galaxy
For once I'm simply free

Carefully the needle penetrates into my skin
With every new puncture the thread follows along

In and out again and again
Till it reaches the end and finally
A harsh pull, a few tugs

Then the string is snipped free at last
Its been completely sewn shut

Only after you closed me up
Did you ask me how my day was
How I was feeling

But what could I say
With my mouth sewn shut?

There is a bus stop I stand by everyday
Around me is every person who has ever hurt me or let me down
They stand here with me day by day
When the bus comes I'm the last to get on every single time
I stand awkwardly as all of the seats fill
As usual there are no empty seats left for me
I must pick the lesser of my evil's and choose one each day
The heaviness of the fear and panic sink into my core
As I place myself beside one of them once more

Today however as I stood with the others as I stand everyday
I felt their hollow eyes burn into my back
As the bus arrived I saw it load with all these people that detest me
With all the memories that they carry
All the memories that weigh like dumbbells on my being
And for once I just stand there
I do not get on
And I watch as the bus full of all these things I hate
Drives away as another appears

It stops before me and the door opens as the driver beckons me to get in
It isn't my bus, but I still drag my feet forward
As if pulled by an invisible force like a magnet I can't pull myself away
When I enter I see other passengers
Not all of the seats are full, in fact many are empty
But it still feels full, yet not stuffy
I feel welcome as I stand in the aisle of the bus
I'm dragged down by a brown eyed beauty
And I feel like for once I've found my place
Within this bus filling with the things I love, with people I trust

I long to take his hands in mine
"You are more than enough."
I'd tell him everyday.

I wish to gaze into his eyes
"Your love puts all those songs to shame."
With that he'd understand just what I'd meant.

On my heart I'd tattoo his name
"You feel like home, you give me a place."
Regardless if he stays he has a space.

The things I'd say to him, if only he were mine.

I hate fate
All it's secrets
All it's uncertainty

Ask for flowers
You get weeds

Ask for love
You get regret

Ask for strength
You get weaker

Ask for patience
You waste time

I hate fate
All it's tricks
All it's games

He is afraid of his future
Unsure what path to walk
Upon his tightrope of pressure
He walks without a safety net

If he looks down he falls
If he looks up he becomes dizzy
His only option is to look straight ahead
Eventually he will reach the other side to safety

But it isn’t about the start or the end
It is about the journey and the adventure in between
It will work itself out
If he keeps a level head and his balance is set

He will see his future fall in place before it's met
And kiss the thin rope he had tread
As it took him on the path that showed to him
The meaning of destiny, fate, and chance

I want him to become so dizzy with me that he forgets what language he speaks and has to make up his own

Starting and ending with my name

For the first time in months,
I prayed
Before my statue of Apollo,
I kneeled
With my candle lit
I held my open palms to the sky
I cried
Before Apollo,
I begged
For the first time in months,
I had to believe
There was something beyond me
That could bring you what you need

Past thick briers and dense thickets
Beyond inconsolable oceans and insufferable lakes
Amidst the roar of obstreperous winds
Within the abyss of calamity
I've let you past my obscurities into the forest of my heart

In return you promised your own so our forests would grow
Instead you left the seeds of hatred that grew amongst my trees
You used me as an exploit for your own selfish endeavors
Our love was made of rot and mold
The passion expired and you were gone

You left me to swim my way back
To climb past my briers and thickets
To bear the violent winds
To climb out of the dark abyss
So that I may find myself once again in clutters of debris
Spread out across the shores of what remains of me

It didn't go as I'd expected it to, neither good or bad
I remember it very clearly
It was a day before the worst day of my life
The day before my sixteenth birthday
But that's another story

It was just the four of us that day
So many fond memories then
Like how we played our favorite songs as we judged and danced
From pop, rock, and rap, we didn't care

But as things came to an end the others left and it was only us
Upside down
That's what it was
No he didn't flip my world upside down
I was laying half off my bed playing my guitar, a song for him
He leaned forward, it was quick and sweet

From that kiss I felt nothing
I knew it was meant to be endearing
But from that kiss and all the others after
I felt nothing
And that's when I realised it's because that's exactly what we were

An empty kiss for a loveless couple full of nothing

I tried to make my favorite tea today
The one you introduced to me
But now that you're gone
It doesn't taste so sweet

Why must we crave and long for love when we do not have it,
Only to waste and abuse it when it's in our unworthy grasp?
We search and tear the world apart for a great love
Yet we take love for granted when it is finally tangible
It's a cycle of tears
Too hard to give up
Too painful to repeat

I used to gaze at the clouds all day long
I used to love to dance in the rain
I used to love the sunshine on my skin
now I never go outside
I just watch as passion seeps from my life

I used to walk on eggshells for you
I never let them crack or make a sound
I used to stand on a pedestal with you
despite my fear of heights
but what did you ever sacrifice for me?

I'm not the same as I once was
the smiles that I wore
have all gone out of season and expired
but out of all the things that I have loved and lost
you are the one goodbye I don't regret

Keep your pedestal
I'm building myself a shrine
A person like me
Was meant to be worshipped

The stars look bitter tonight
Like a candle is only sweet with a flame
You take away the sparks
And only the bitterness remains
That's why the stars only sparkled for him

For now I'll just blame it on me
Because its easier than hating you
I wish I could change the blood
That courses through my veins
If I changed who I am
Would you love me then?

He took the night sky with him
In his eyes, he took my stars