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Quiet in my velvet dreams
gleaming with beauty queens
ultraviolet veneers
under crystal clear chandeliers

Awake. Never quite getting the reckoning.
Instead you're beckoning
me to your charade of promise
but I'm stuck in the forest
where you're my Charon
following me to the limestone,
dragging me back to the gates
and I know you mean well, but it doesn't resonate.

I've abandoned all hope and entered
Feeling like I've surrendered
What is it I will remember
when we get to November?
Biting my arm
in moments of harm
braiding my hair
with you just being unaware?

It all seems silly
like a grand facade really
where I can't see why anyone
can buy into becoming a chameleon.
Why take it so serious
when it just feels delirious?
What is it we're racing to
at the end, it's the same view.
Who is it for?
I really must make sure.

Waiting for my Virgil
To guide me through the hurdles.
He's no where to be seen
as I choke on my amphetamines.
Empire May 4
I always turn this hate to myself
Because it’s easier I suppose
To just believe I’m ****
Than to face the possibility
That I’m suffering
That I’ve been damaged
By the ones I thought loved me

It’s so ******* hard to fight
The programming in your mind
When you’ve been raised
Playing games for love
Never knowing acceptance
Being stripped of privacy
Your mother telling you
Your tears are an embarrassment
Ridiculing your emotions

So instead
You hide
You learn to sob in silence
You learn to hate yourself
Because it couldn’t be them...
They couldn’t hurt you
They love you

... right?
Apple juice Feb 26
Surprise surprise
Daddy didn’t show
Daddy doesn’t care
Daddy doesn’t know
Daddy does care
Daddy knows best
Then why does daddy make empty promises?
Daddy says this
Daddy says that
Daddy buys us gifts
To make up for what he missed
Daddy met a girl
She was daddies world
Next thing you know she replaces daddies little girl
What used to be daddies girl grew up in an empty world
No longer daddies only girl
Daddy left her all alone
No daddy to buy us gifts
No daddy to see his kids
Momma took the blame when daddies girl misbehaved
Daddy had no part in his little girls birthdays
What once was daddies girl
Became a lonely world just a reminder of what used to be daddies girl
Surprise surprise
Daddy isn’t here
Let it be up to daddies to up and disappear
Daddy says funny things
Funny things about wedding rings
Daddy has a lot of flings whatever that means
Momma and daddy don’t get along
Daddy’s mean to momma when momma does something wrong
Mommas mean to daddy when bills aren’t met
Daddy buys gifts for other girls that’s why we’re in debt
Daddy’s mean to momma
Daddy makes momma cry
Daddy’s mean to momma until sunrise
Daddy slams the door
What was that for?
Daddy went to the store
Why is momma torn?
Momma says daddy has another little girl one to buy toys for one with daddy’s curls
What was wrong with this daddies girl?
Why did daddy decide to give up his whole world
Momma said things will get better
But this little girl turned sour and bitter
Surprise surprise
Daddy didn’t show
Daddy said he’ll be watching from the front row
Daddy’s little girl practiced every day till dawn
Just so she could show daddy her moves were spot on
The curtains about to rise
I don’t see daddy what a surprise
The shows about to start
Daddy’s gonna miss my part
Daddy said he’ll be there
Daddy doesn’t lie
Daddy will be here in no time
About to go on stage now
There she goes with her little crown
“Why is that pretty girl wearing a frown?”
Daddies a no show
So this little girl turned stone cold
There’s momma in her pretty gown
Too bad daddy isn’t here to see
How pretty mommy can be
What can you do
Daddy doesn’t stay true
Surprise surprise
Daddy isn’t home
Mommas sitting here waiting by the phone
I’m getting sleepy
But mommas still sitting here weeping
Uh oh what to do
Daddy came home with the reak of b.ooze
What can you do
What did I do wrong? There’s no telling
Daddy won’t stop yelling
Daddy’s getting meaner
Where’s mommy when I need her
Daddy won’t get off of me
Daddy, why are you on top of me?
Surprise surprise
Daddies little prize
Grew up in a web of lies
Poor daddies girl in a lonely world
No daddy to love
No daddy to hug
Just a mean daddy
Who takes off her *******
Surprise surprise
This daddy is no daddy of mine
Let this be true
That all daddies can fool you
During dark times while in residential i discovered the coping skill of poetry and this..this is my favorite out of every piece I bring to life this one takes me and exposes the most vulnerable parts of my Inner being and now I share with you something that holds so much truth.
Empire Aug 2019
You’ve had too much control
You’ve abused your privileges
Your role in my life
Your place in my heart

And now I don’t feel as much
It’s easier to ignore you
Your manipulation

I ought to feel for you
I really probably should
But you’re not kind
You don’t even attempt
To care for yourself
Why would you dream
You could care for me

You’re supposed to be an authority
But everything out of your mouth...
It’s poison
Toxic to my system
Making me weak

I took your pain as my own
And you still would hurt me
I guess that says something about you...

So I stopped feeling for you
And you hate me for it
Because I don’t treat you as my queen
You don’t deserve it
You’re not that special
You’re just hurting
You’re insecure
But that’s not my problem
I can’t help you
You just hurt me
So I don’t feel for you
Pyrrha Aug 2019
You may not see the damage,
but it's there
beneath smiles and politeness
deep inside the laughter and
within every crevice of joy
lives doubt

You may not know you caused it
but don't deny it
inside every tear and worry
deep inside the sorrow and
within every doubt
you live
Gray Jun 2019
what did i ever do
to deserve a woman
as cruel and heartless
as you?
my relationship with my mother
Gray Jun 2019
the way
he grabbed you,
and hurt you
reminded me
all too much
of him being
it isn't completely about you, sweetheart
i wish i could make it better
Gray May 2019
a house is not a home
my home is with those who love me,
and you clearly don't
i am leaving;
i will miss you,
but not enough to come back.
you are nothing to me anymore,
as i am done with your lies
i'm planning on leaving home soon so that's a mess
Alex Apr 2019
The day you left us
Was the day I lost my mother
I am told to have faith
But you let him in

To have faith in you
Would be to have faith in him
& I can’t take a leap of faith
Off a bridge that’s been burned a long time ago
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