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RisingUp Aug 9
A few weeks ago, I had less thoughts,
But now they’ve come back and they can’t seem to stop

I feel massive and huge
I’ve let myself go
How can I live like this
I’m puffy like dough

I want to control what I eat.

But I’m at the mercy of what my parents make
And the awkwardness that surrounds my plate
I can’t talk about how this is driving me insane
I know I’m crazy, these thoughts are inane

But I don’t know what to do.

I just want to be fit, like what I see in the mirror
Not hate every inch of fat on my rear
I want to be lean.

But what if I can’t have this
That might be true
Too much restriction
Metabolism won’t come through
Messed up my body
Messed up my life
On a path to a body,
I’m filled with strife

I don’t believe this will cease to haunt me
Incompatible with my nature
Incompatible with me
I want to achieve
And be the best I can be
I obsess over my shape
And my unknown weight
I’d rather be destroyed
Than discover I’ve gained

Truly, there is no cure.
Intense psychotherapy
Is the only hope there
But my thoughts aren’t distorted,
It’s our culture, I swear
My struggles are normal
Reflective of today
In these thoughts I may drown
In our culture I am prey
What does it feel like.....

For all those who look for traces,
For indications,
For signs
To know what dismay looks like.....
It looks like nothing
A big blank nothing,
A nothing,
That manages to consume everything.

What does it feel like?
To look around,
Big spacious room,
Observe things, occupy spaces
Imaging it being vacant,
Would it affect anything?
Or will it just be nothing?

What does it feel like?
To hear voices,
Pretty lies and
Little rumors that resides,  
As they resonate mind with massive amplitude.
And cover the actual harsh truth
Does it damage just minor things?
Or break confidence that was building?

What does it feel like?
To search for something,
Perhaps support to cling,
Or slight hope in the surroundings?
Sometimes it could just be smiles,
Or a piece of advice.

It could be anything,
Anything at all,
That could redeem something
Of this existing dark empty being.
But maybe at some point eventually,
It would be renamed solely,
As too much of expecting.

That's what it feels like  
To move towards nothing,
As it consumes everything.
What does it feel like??
Sanidhya Rai Jun 20
It's said that the longer you try to keep something away, the deeper it's impression has on you. I fell even harder this time. I wasn't sure if this was love or guilt, it kept me at bay - it felt the same.

The first day i ever loved her, must have been or perhaps should have been the day i cherish the most; instead, it became the day that trips me over and shoves me deep into a pit of sorrow and guilt. I can't seem to get out of it. I hurt the only love of my life.

Call me depressed, maniac or just a socially awkward ****, it doesn't matter, the day i made her cry all over again, caused her pain - I became all of it.

Not only did I deprive her of all the happiness and laughter she deserved, but I also filled her with doubt, distress and hatred. I birthed Pain which cripled me with anxiety and hopelessness. As a parent it should have been my duty to look after her, but my anguished soul abandoned her. I didn't dare think about how it must have terrorised her, yet when I look at her, seeking mercy, I see her pretty face, scarred by my pathetic self: laughing, hiding too much behind that pretty smile.

If only I could make her happy. If only I could look after her without fragmenting her soul even more.
It may not seem like a poem, dare I say it is. Just the expression of thoughts.
Amer Pelides May 19
Words were thrown into a turning wheel,
Twisting and turning their meaning,
Humble and thoughtful they were not,
They were intended to hurt and dismay,
I felt their sting and cold touch,
Why was I the target of such accusations?
Am I the carrion and they the scavenger?
I did not deserve this,
Or maybe I did.
Coronavirus Poems

These are poems and translations of mine that apply to the coronavirus pandemic ...

This World's Joy
(anonymous Middle English lyric)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch

Winter awakens all my care
as leafless trees grow bare.
For now my sighs are fraught
whenever it enters my thought:
regarding this world's joy,
how it all comes to naught.

Originally published by Better Than Starbucks

Fowles in the Frith
(anonymous Middle English lyric)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch

The birds in the wood,
the fishes in the flood ...
and I must go mad:
much sorrow I walk with,
for beasts of bone and blood.

Ech day me comëth tydinges thre
(anonymous Middle English lyric)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch

Each day I’m plagued by three doles,
These gargantuan weights on my soul:
First, that I must somehow EXIT this fen.
Second, that I cannot know WHEN.
And yet it’s the third that torments me so,
Because I don't know where the HELL I will go!

Update of "A Litany in Time of Plague"
by Michael R. Burch

THE PLAGUE has come again
To darken lives of men
and women, girls and boys;
Death proves their bodies toys
Too frail to even cry.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

Tycoons, what use is wealth?
You cannot buy good health!
Physicians cannot heal
Themselves, to Death must kneel.
Nuns’ prayers mount to the sky.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

Beauty’s brightest flower?
Devoured in an hour.
Kings, Queens and Presidents
Are fearful residents
Of manors boarded high.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

We have no means to save
Our children from the grave.
Though cure-alls line our shelves,
We cannot save ourselves.
"Come, come!" the sad bells cry.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!

thanksgiving prayer of the parasites
by Michael R. Burch

GODD is great;
GODD is good;
let us thank HIM
for our food.

by HIS hand
we all are fed;
give us now
our daily dead.


most gracious
& salacious
we thank YOU in advance for
meals galore
of loverly gore:
of precious
human flesh!)

Originally published by Setu

by michael r. burch

does GOD adore the Tyger
while it’s ripping ur lamb apart?

does GOD applaud the Plague
while it’s eating u à la carte?

does GOD admire ur brains
while ur claiming IT has a heart?

does GOD endorse the Bible
you blue-lighted at k-mart?

NOTE: In the segmented title “evol” is “love” spelled backwards. The title questions whether you/we have been shunned by a "God of Love" or by evolution. William Blake’s poem “The Tyger” questions the nature of a Creator who brings lambs and tigers into the same world.

by michael r. burch

for the “Chosen Few”

those who believed
and Those who misled
lie together at last
in the same narrow bed

and if god loved Them more
for Their strange lack of doubt,
he kept it well hidden
till he snuffed Them out.

Keywords/Tags: coronavirus, virus, plague, disease, illness, death, fear, panic, dismay, germs, microbes
Jacob Charest Feb 18
A perplexing voice calls out to me
white light burned into my eyes
shadows of dread and sorrow
a moment's dazzling disguise

my heart plummets once more
disheartening screams of silence
the rise of consternation
a battle I will not win

the walls of my head fall apart
my brain exposed
fleeting feelings of panic and dismay
swirling inside

A voice is needed
to guide and soothe me
for I fear if it does not appear
I shall break again
Nylee Nov 2019
An evening to be,
A reason to envy.
Greener the face,
It is for the better
A few weeks late.
Dismay to display,
every more reason
more cards to play
To lose it at higher,
as stakes go to roof.
Money not wonder
Luck again rusts red
Lonely left in bed.
Chicken Sep 2019
The veggie burger of dismay
Long may it be there
Where it lay
At the bottom
It’s just for fun :D
Amanda Jun 2019
If you peer into my heart
Completely you'd understand
How I care about your soul
I truly miss your hand

I you borrow my irrational brain
The one obsessing over you
You would discover your presence is my escape
The past haunts all I do

There is burning through my veins
Too much you and your essence
Wish you owned the same skeleton
You would feel I'm not happy in your absence

Nothing what it appears to you
I have made sure of that
Going through familiar motions
Stability only an act

I cannot be as strong as I want to
Not allowed to show real dismay
I force a smile to portray a happy face
Can't live this charade one more day
Wooo I am tired af. Started a new job and I forgot how hard it is being on my feet. Anyways I might not post as much because so much love to you all!
Erian Rose Apr 2019
If I could
I wouldn't have to deal
With feeling hurt
If I could
I wouldn't have to
Hide myself
In their dismay
But all I do
Run, run, run
from the things I fear
Will come my way
Whenever I
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