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Débijonne Oct 3
but when i said
‘living on the edge,’
this was never
what i meant.

what i meant was real party all night
without parents’ permission;
not a pity party at night
with my self-destructing notions.

what i meant was real rollercoasters,
or go on life adventures;
not roller coasters
of all my life’s emotions.

what i meant was swim in the ocean,
or face my darkest fear.
not an ocean of my
darkest fears face me.

but i when i said
put ‘happy’ and ‘die’ together,
i meant to actually ‘die happy’
not to be ‘happy dying.’
wrote this piece for National Mental Health Week.
sushii Aug 29
It pushes everyone away.
It ruins all my relationships.

I died at the hands of my thoughts today.

He tells me that he loves me,
He tells me that it’s okay,
But they won’t let me believe it.

is love real?
is happiness real?
is anything real?
because at this rate, it might all just be fake.

in fact,

that’d be better, because then i wouldn’t have to feel this pain.
sushii Aug 26
why do you push everyone away?
why do you hurt everyone?
why do you hurt me?
why do you care so much about what they think?

why can’t i break free?
Hayden May 24
The darkness is seeping in
Into my mind
Into my heart
And into my soul

It's taking my thoughts
So now they are no longer whole

They are broken
Seeping into nothing

They are being consumed by the darkness
Along with me

One day I will no longer be able to pretend
And everyone will see
The me I have kept hidden away
May/24/2018/2:05PM/14 years old
Belle Feb 24
my grandmother is dead and it is my fault
turns out the eating disorder doesn't just **** only you.
SeaChel Feb 20
My brain is moving

a million miles per hour,

though it pleads to stop.
clem turner Jan 23
greasy hair, but not too greasy
that I can't shape it,
dark circles, but no bags,

i'm okay with being unhygienic
if it's the cute kind

how do my disorders look today?
they're adorable until
you scream in class
and drop to the floor,
but now i know
not to do that anymore

or else no one will wanna be seen with me

sleep deprivation is okay if i'm able to walk
with swagger,
when my legs bounce
up and down during a test?
i feel like a real James Dean,

and my clothes can be disheveled
if they still match

i need to wear deodorant
but my shoes can look old,

i've seen too many posts
about boys that look hot
when they look like they haven't slept
in a week

well i haven't slept in three months
and i wonder when my self destruction
will be attractive enough
for you.
emmaa Jan 22
is this what a panic attack is?
a race horse instead of a heart
static numbness prickling fingertips
the weight of every insecurity sitting on my lungs
forcing a battle to be fought with every exhausting breath
spiders crawling to and from upon my spine
whispering my greatest fears
giggling at my mortality
weakness in every inch of my being
constantly under attack by my own body
my own traitorous body
hopelessness shredding my self worth
driving my fragile state into a frenzy
i'd felt it so many times in various degrees, but never knew.
John AD Nov 2017
Help me again from this pain,
My heartbeat is beating so fast and
I don't want to feel this way again
My body is shaking and nobody came
No love from others , and my heart always get some stain.

I feel I was in the penitentiary,
Trapped inside a cell,can't find a way to set me free,
I'm alive but I feel I'm dead
Every second of my life I felt I was running in a thread
Those books I read , Still hauntin' my head ,
The Knowledge I received , Is it good or bad?

This panic attacks , Solution is Xanax
Very addictive , but Helps me to relax.
Is this the same way to begin with ?
Or choose "To be Alive or Dead?"
Panic Attack
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