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Broadsky 19h
If you want to know why we ended it's because he fell out of love with me.
He said I couldnt make him happy anymore, and it shook and rattled my brain so much the nurses during the night shift at the hospital knew my name.
You were kissing him while I was at home sobbing over him, when I was craving his skin on mine you were the one making him breathe fast and heavy.
While your toes were in the sand sitting with him and your ******* sunburnt knees, I was going mad writing about my aching love for him.
He wanted my body when you were on the west coast, I withheld myself from him.
It wasn't my soul he missed, it was how I would make words flow from his lips while I used my hands. The depth of his indifference devoured me and made me feel like I was drowning.
Therefore, no I do not want to be your friend. No I do not want to grab a coffee with you. You have this ludicrous idea that I owe you an explanation of why we finally walked away.
It's because you took him one step further from me, and he never looked back.
The boy I always write about, my ex, his ex girlfriend from 2 years ago reached out to find out why he and I broke up. This is everything I wanted to tell her but didnt.
Jenn 1d
I hope I’m too pretty for you
I hope I’m too kind for you
or am I wrong about that too?
Jenn 2d
iced coffee and cigarettes
both bitter tasting
makes me think
of the bitter taste in my mouth you left
the sound of your voice makes me nauseous
i hate that i have to hear it
but somehow I find myself coming to your coffee shop
is it because I work near by?
or is it because I crave drama in my life?
do I need that pain back?
am I too happy now with him?
October Dec 4
A space so unfitting
A space tired, not so uplifting
“Rehab”
”Rehab”
”Rehabilitate my space”, you pled
And I did
I did just that once you, out of town, fled
Back in town, it was going to be a monumental surprise
One that you and I could share and sleep in that night
That night and all the nights to follow
When you witnessed your new space you could barely swallow
Chocking back tears, I had succeeded in my mission
Now this space, you share with your new person
Does she like the color blue?
What about the gold accents I detailed just for you?
It’s your space, and hers now
I hope the dark shadows of your new space haunt you, watch over you like an owl
In witness of you two interlaced
With someone who has now taken my place
To lavender I retreat
That shade of navy and I never to re-meet
Caitlyn Nov 27
he once told me
"you're eyes are gorgeous"
but i didn't believe you
i thought
"how could he love my brown eyes"
how could he love something so ****

he told me
they were captivating
he could get lost in them
he could stare at them all day and never get tired of them
he pointed out all the colors they were in the sunlight
he pointed out how my eyes weren't just brown
they were green
and blue
and yellow
and brown.
he told me that he could lose himself in my eyes

i guess he lost himself so bad
that he left me
maybe i left him
but
to this day
i've learned to love my eyes.
my ex actually told me this, kinda made me cry writing this but oh well
Bix Nov 26
I remember talking about past relationships with some friends. I made the passing comment that my longest relationships were also my worst.

One friend had said something along the lines of how it wasn't just the other person's fault, that it was also mine because I didn't leave or fix the relationship. I was at a loss of words then. Now, I have questions for him.

Have you ever been so in love that you ignored the pain? You ignored the cheating? The mental and emotional abuse? The time that they almost ******* punched you in the face during school while holding your hand then told you they loved you? The time they ******* ***** you? Staying quiet because you believed it was your fault and things would get better?

If you said no to that... Then don't say a ******* thing about how it's my fault. Don't say a ******* thing.
I hope you see this.
It has been a while
Since that time.
You know.
That night.
My first date
And that carnival ride.

Yeah,
I'm terrified.

Tell me how you managed it,
How you remember it.

Because young sir,
I highly doubt it is the same as I.
Or do you wake up screaming too?

Because I do.
Never forgetting
Always blaming myself
For something I had no control over.

Did you enjoy my innocence?
Because I wish I could have it back.
That you hadn't done what you had
That I didn't have to see your heart of black.

It still hurts down there.
That place.
You were inside of me before I could say a single thing.
Before I could even say "No"

You make me sick.
So sick that I wanna bleed.
But everyone knows now
And trying to keep me sane.

I had told you that I was saving myself
But all you could say,
"Please Baby, Please!
I love you so much!
Just give me this much!"

Didn't know what to do,
I just freeze.
What am I suppose to say
What do I do now?
Do I talk to my mother and father
Face that judgement
Or do I block it all away with a smile

What do I do
What do I do
What do I do now?!

What the **** am I suppose to do now?!
You hurt me!
You broke me!
I'll never forget!
Pray to a *** I no longer trust?!
You both were suppose to protect me and look at me NOW!

I'm ******* bleeding from my wrists!
I have no remorse.
I can't ******* sleep no more
Can't even hug my father.
What am I gonna do now...?!
cupid Nov 8
cupid felt desire once
nothing could’ve prepared him for despair
nothing but love could’ve caused it
venus truly cursed her son
with longing for a faded love
a mortal lover
tired of their ***
resentful and sick of him
he can't bear the pain
but he can never die
he walks the only true death
everlasting life
watching himself
being replaced
cupids world was on fire
gorgeous fire
it was so striking
he forgot that fire
burns
destroys
he forgot that fire is pain
he relished in the flames
until he burned out
cupids world ,,, is only ashes now
this is a continuation of desire this was the end of his and i's relationship, it's somehow just as beautiful as the beginning
cupid Nov 8
he hated everything
everything that loved him
made him feel heavy ,,, and sick
ironically named after desire
he wanted nothing
nothing until now
the cold dense fear he felt
disappeared
and by the gods he was on fire
his skin was ice but his heart
burned
and his mind melted
it was a pretty face and an intoxicating voice
and cupid felt like pluto
dark ,,, and ******
but venus blessed her child and so
she cursed him with his own
he lusted for something gentle
and treated himself so cruel
shot himself with his bow and ditched the life he knew
and now
cupid’s world
is on fire
i wrote this for my now ex boyfriend and now that he has hurt me i think it's time to share it, i find it beautiful
The problem is I’m drunk on Halloween weekend
the problem is every time I drink I wanna tell you I love you
the problem is I start to say it to all the wrong people.
I had two tequila sunrises and two blue long islands.
Blue long island tastes like your kisses that night a year ago and tequila tastes like regret when I see what I texted you
tomorrow morning. And it all boils down to the fact,
when I slept with the other guy, I finally understood why you
hurt me so much. It felt so good knowing the power was in my hand .Holding his heart in my fist, knowing he made love to me but I ****** him, just like you ****** me. But I still love you. In the drunken haze of my emotions, I still love you. And when you ask me, while I'm sober, if I still have feelings for you, I’ll ask,
“Does hate count as a feeling?”
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