As an immortal, people say you have to live eternally, to watch all your friends die. Forever. Every one of them.
But I think one thing they hadn't thought of is that...you find them again. In new people. In new lives. In new bodies. They, just as energy, do not truly die. They are recycled and find new faces in which they live behind.
And you would be surprised how the faces they always find, tend to be so similar to the face you first came to know. Even when they are no longer a male, of African descent, and are now your best female Chinese friend...you'll find you'll always be looking into their new eyes, and always seeing the eyes of the friend whom you met so many generations ago.
And they will know you in their soul even when their previous bodies have departed, and with it, took their memories. The memories that you hold dear to you. Because these are your friends. And they are your life. And you love every one of them.

I aim for insanity and should I land among the sane, with madness seething from my fingers, I will touch every one of them until Sanity is only a vague memory that none of us can quite recall.

Everyone is so obsessed with
      trying to find Sanity
While I'm just keeping to myself,
      praying not to ever be.

The Sanity that you all want and yearn for and desire
Is nothing more than living in a world engulfed in **Fire

I walked quickly up the road
Then crossed it at the top
It was my addiction
And I didn't want to stop

Whenever I was sad
I'd cross the street a time or so
And whenever I felt ready,
I would walk straight down the road.

I open up my can of trash
To find the things I've tossed
But as I do, it shines apparent
Those things are "ever-lost"

This simple fact, which I forgot:
My trash can't be displaced
For everything I throw inside
Is dropped in outer space

Recalling this -in retrospect-
I maybe shouldn't have....
Dropped my baby brother in
...Probably won't get him back...

I miss those
                 pretty
                          little
                 ­                    lies
                                                 you'd paint
To cover all my "broken"

You'd dress me up so fancy
With the pretty  lies you've spoken

Tell me now, your point of view, and how you view the world.
What is there between us? Are we just a boy and girl?

Tell me what you feel for me, and tell me why that's so.
Now tell me why you secretly can't bear to see me go.

Her wandering soul               
                            l  i
       Takes    F              h    t     
                                   g    ­             with the wind

She runs with Panthers



Can't tell her name
It   C      A                                 with the land
            H     N             S
                           G   E

She shapeshifts through the world



And though she never stays the same
                                   And though she doesn't have a name
Her face is always pretty
                                                 And her eyes are always kind



I feel her in the air

She   
       hovers
   in the atmosphere


You know she's been here
          'Cause
                  you
                        can                              ­                   S
                               hear                                            u
       ­                             the                               ­       n
                                        songs   ­                         g                                     ­                                                     *she's

Nothing left
Just empty words
I promised I would beat the curve

Don't know you
You don't know me
That's the life I aim to keep

Take a seat or take a walk
Anything but stand and gawk

Don't know me, that's what I said
Can't fathom what's all in this head

Dusk has broken
Sleepless nights
Nights filled with internal fights

Demons ain't the issue here
The issues me, I'm what I fear

Just like you, I don't know me
Stuck in a body that ain't me

Reflections lying to my face
Scared in life I won't keep pace

Mirror Mirror on the wall
I don't…don't wanna fall
Mirror Mirror, look at me
I'm not who I wanna be

Tell me what I'm doing wrong
I don't wanna do this long
Tell me, please, what I should do
So I can bare to look at you

Mirror Mirror on the wall,
-Just wanna die that's all-
Forgive me God, I've lost control
The devil has my soul

Mirror mirror look at me,
I'm not where I wanna be
Truthfully I am ashamed
I've only got myself to blame

Mother, Father, look at me
Don't know you, you don't know me
Baby sister, listen up
Drop the blade, Don't give up

Older sister, in that jail
Whatchu doin' there, for rayl
Where'd my older sister go
Wasted life, on crack and blo

I'll be something great, I know it.
Even through the hate, I'll show it.
Watch and see, I'll never blow it.
I'll be me, And you'll all know it.
I'll explode. I'll be so loud.
You'll all hear me, there's no doubt.

Everybody look around
Don't look at the ****** ground
Everybody listen up
Life is rough, but don't give up

I've made it this far,
You can too
Believe me, I believe in you.

Mirror Mirror, point me out
I'm leaving, watch
I'll make it out

If you hear me take my hand
I'll reach out the best I can
If you hear me, let me know
Meet me on that lonely road

I've got a lot to share with you
Come and gather round
The things I know inside my heart
They're usually profound

If you knew the things I did,
You'd surely go insane
Let me filter all these thoughts
And leave our demons slain

In the mirror once I looked
And saw an Angel there
I cleared my eyes and looked again
And saw me in the mirror

Falling backwards, grasping air
I suffocate with truth
I need to wake up everyone
I'm screaming, hear me through

Life ain't all about
Try'na be the best
You know, I struggle every day
To put my mind to rest

It aint a question, we all know
              Life's a *****
And far too many times I find myself in a ditch

But I get myself up, I've got goals to reach
But long before that, I've got souls to teach

I've got a purpose in my soul
So won'tcha listen
You ain't meant to be alone
And that 's my mission

Gotta pick yourself up
I know the world is cold
So you've got a choice
Be weak, or bold



.

I've suspended my attention, now I'm
                         --outta control.
I'm flying in the ethereal world,
                                   --I've lost my soul.
And once upon a time, upon the future
                       --long passed,
I saw the heavens build my soul
                           --The only one like that.

I've got a headache
         -and it's building-
Got a war to fake
         -for the children-
Got a smile to wage
         -for the country-
Got a sharp tongue
         -that hits you bluntly-

Synny had a little shell
Who's soul was white as snow
Who learned too soon that life was hell
And she was sure to go

And in that soul, corruption sparked
She fought it all the while
Until the day it consumed her
And killed the wholesome child

And all the stayed
Was charmed remains
Of pretty little Syn
And when the demons spoke to her,
She always let them in.

My shadow up and left me
He took off along the walls
Then he leapt out of the third floor window
He did, I watched him fall

He scurried through the grass
Blackening the blades to gray
And he didn't even say goodbye
Or turn to me to wave

I watched him dart between the trees
Make way for the horizon
And the weirdest part about it
Was the group that formed behind him.

Shadows came from everywhere
And gathered at his back
And now I'm worried- are those weapons?
Are they planning an attack?

And where the hell have I been?
When the hell did they plan this?
My ******* SHADOW is the leader
of a ShadowPocalypse?!

This really hit me hard, how
I must be oblivious
My shadow's in a gang,
What kind of person misses this??

Now my shadow is the Pied Piper
Of shadows in the land
And I'm just here like "what the **** just happened?"
....Well, good luck with your plans...

You know I'm unfuckwittable.
It's admittable. I ain't permittable.
People try, but I ain't quittable.
No shittable.
Talking ****'s just pitiful.
People stand for me, I ain't sittable.
This face, it's unforgettable.
I'm incredible.
To me, all the girls be wettable.
I'd bet-it-all
And let-it-all,
Come out
Won't stop till I get-it-all

These days all I got is just me and my idols
They give motivation so I don't fall idle.
My words are a promise so I try not to speak
Never been known to live tongue in cheek

I wanna cry out but I don't wanna cry
I'm alone with myself, yeah so am I
You know I'm not weak, but don't think im strong
Surprise surprise, it's been a mask all along

Don't wanna do this life much more, i'm tapped.
Could make a whole new planet from all this crap.
People often like me and I don't know why
I've always been a loner, always saying goodbye.

Guess I'm stuck in old habits
With a blade to my wrist
The angels on my shoulder saying
"Don't do this."

"I know you're right",
I throw the blade.
Can you get a soul back
If the Devil's paid?

What's it take to get to Hell
Then get the **** back out?

What if I redeemed a soul
Can anyone escape a black hole?

Sometimes light is a helpful guide
And sometimes light is a great disguise
Sometimes light is like smoke and mirrors
It doesn't always make things clearer

Sometimes night is great to see
Darkness shows us what we need
We find our absence in the dark
The light can only shine so far

Location location location*
Vocation vocation vocation
Des'pration
Des'pration
Des'pration
Cliché decay, is summation.
Dictation Fixation; Damnation.
Let's pray, son.
**** Nation- stagnation, frustration.


Creation.
Creation, salvation, elation.
Let's play son.

"Hey!" I call out.
But of course it's unheard.
She flits back and fourth,
Like an uncertain bird.

She's tearing up piles,
Clothes flying behind.
She's frantically looked
In each region, but mine.

"*******!"
She yells to the sky.
"Of all things to lose,
This one goes in my eye."

I snicker. It's true.
A conundrum, she's got.
In the bathroom she speaks "Are you here??"
I am not.

She always sees through me,
What a wonderful girl
She brings me out with her
And I show her the world

Her life became clear,
The day I was hers.
Life before me, she recounts,
Was a blur.

She loves me, and I her.
You could say that I'm quacked.
She speaks through a sigh
"I hate you, Contact."

It seems to me that Myths exist to put the mind at ease. It substitutes as reason for phenomena like these:
Why thunder booms
Why lightning strikes
Why the sun is gone at night
They ease our questions lending fears and banish out our fright.

Myths give life to many Gods
Who's lives compared to ours are odd
Some bring the sun to sky in day
Some ferri souls who've passed away
Some tend the earth, whom we call Mother
Some far more fair than any other

You ask me can these myths be true?
To decide my friend, that's up to you.

Black holes share a selfish task: Imprison all existence
Voraciously consuming light with infinite persistence.

The death of stars gives birth to them
Bright light turned vacant chasm
And when you ask them where they went
They'll tell you no one has 'em

All across the galaxies,
these spots will span and spin.
Nostalgic of the stars they were,
they'll say "remember when?"

And even if you answered back, your
voice would go unheard
Cause just like light, no sound escapes:
It's trapped and that's assured.

Gravity's Relentless Pull
not only bends the light
It bends the minds of any who
bear witness to it's might

Now if I were immortal
also, if I couldn't die
and if I had the superpowers,
out to space I'd fly

And into hollow empty spans
Beyond the solar stretch
I'd venture to a massive hole
and into it I'd trek

How arduous, yet marvelous a
journey I would face
For the secrets I would come upon
have never been displaced

A psychic read my palm one day.
What she saw she didn't say.

She stared in awe, and hugged me well.
She thanked me for what my palms tell.

I'm wide awake, mind, heart, and soul.
It's time for bed, but I won't go.

I sit awake, stare at the wall.
There must be reason for this all.

I'm staring out, I question God.
Are you there, or are you not?

Just go to sleep, it's time for bed.
Now try to tell that to my head.

I want you to be in love with all of me. Or at least be aware of all of me. My bad hair days. My natural face without makeup. My beautiful body in lingerie. My frumpy appearance in sweatpants and a jacket. My happy, and joyous smile when I'm laughing filled with energy. My expressionless, leaning more toward a frown, kind of face when I'm unstimulated.
My ugly expressions that I can make my face do.
My **** and enticing expressions that I can also do.
My heart and soul of who I am. I want you all to know me. All of me. Or not at all.

I have a small ***, but it's nice.
I'm not your average beauty but a lot of people think I'm pretty. Including my mom, but she'd never tell me that.
My teeth aren't as white as I wish they'd be, but they're still pretty. They're not as straight as I'd like them to be, but my smile is still beautiful.
My ***** aren't as full as I'd like to see, but they're pretty and plump and perky.
I like both men and women, God, women are beautiful, and my relatives are completely against that. I've met my father only once, but it was a grande time and I can cross that off my bucket list.
I'm a contradictory being, because I'm headstrong and confident, but as anxious and self conscious as can be.
I've got a lot to say to the world, but never know how to say it. I'm complicated. I complicate simple things, and over think it all. I'm cold and distant and warm and affectionate, and I'm hard to reach but not because I'm busy; because I rarely have the energy to try to keep up a proper or good enough conversation. I care too much and I shut down. People, even family, hear from me only once in a while, because on those days I am seering with energy and confidence, and most importantly, a lack of concern of if what I'm saying is right, or funny, or good enough. The best way to reach me is to ask for my help, but once I'm done I recede back into the background, where I'm safest. Safest, but most unhappy and unfulfilled. The spotlight is where I belong and it terrifies me because I am not good at being vulnerable and exposed, but I am teaching myself because they will eat me alive if I can't stand against the wolves. You will hear my voice some day, and you'll know it. It will be me. The shy, confident, unimpressive, but ever imposing girl we all saw a few times but never took much notice of. Until I'm ready. Then you won't be able to look away.

Life keeps strippin' away my morals and I'm trying so hard to get 'em back.
I want desperately to be a good person but it just ain't that white 'n black.

I hear "do this, don't do that
go away, i want you back
you're perfect, you are so unique
now change and join conformity

be like us, don't be yourself
You wouldn't wanna go to hell…
Everybody's going left, so why you going right?"

I break my chains, they put them back, escapism for life.

it's cold in this cave.
i see my breath in every shuttering exhalation i force
my throat is closing
i see icicles on the cave ceiling
she's shivering too
what used to be rosey cheeks full of life
now look like death.
i see little color.
even her blue eyes look frozen. gray.
her brown hair is riddled with specs of snow and ice.
this is our shelter for the night.
we share a gaze that we both know speaks 'i hope we make it through the night.'
outside is a roaring blizzard.
and not the tasty kind that you hold upside down before you eat it.
eugghh.
even as hungry as i was, the thought of eating that frozen treat sent a violent shiver up my spine, resulting in a loud chattering of my teeth.
im not sure how we ended up in this situation.
i try to rack my brain to find the steps we took to land ourselves in this damp, frosty cave, but my brain must be freezing, too, because i cant picture anything but what i see in front of me.

we remained in silence for what seemed an hour. the only sounds were our rough breathing and the occasional shiver and chatter of teeth
she was losing motor function…she had been rubbing her arms for warmth and it slowly ceased.
she laid against the cave wall in a slump, her head resting awkwardly sideways, and her arms lumped at her sides.

i went to speak, but i only mouthed my words.
i coughed to clear my throat and only a pathetic whine came out.
so i stood up.
her eyes followed me, but her body still laid lifeless and heavy.

i tried to speak again, but only heard rough whisper.
i grabbed an icicle with a wrapped hand and begun writing into the snow in front of her.

it read 'need to move. or we die for sure, right here.'

it took her great pain to maneuver her head to read my script.
she nodded weakly.

i stood quickly and offered my hand, which she took with limp wrist.
this poor girl.
i don't even know her name, and i may be the last person she'll ever see. and vice versa.

as soon as our hands made contact, i saw a flash of me, running across a white, snowy field.
there were large black circles on the ground, smoking.
i was carrying something. i remember a sharp pain in my side, but i knew i would not put what i was holding down, no matter what.

i lifted my shirt, was immideatly bitten by the frosty atmosphere.
ooh. i exhaled in shock from the sudden exposure to the cold.

on my side, i saw a grouping of multiple gashes, still ******, but crusted over by now.
my eyes widened.
Tabatha.
I was carrying a little girl. she had a large piece of glass sticking into her shoe, and couldn't walk on it. the glass had reached her bone.
but she was brave, i remembered that.
she did not cry. she was strong for me. and i was for her.
i held her close, her foot bouncing at my side as i ran for our safety.
i could feel every cut and ****. every tear of my skin. and it hurt terribly.
but i did not put her down.
we ran atleast a mile. the little girl who i did not even know, clinging to me. her only chance of survival.

I just want to be loved, but I struggle with rage
And this rage is from years of no love, and each day
I just try to find how to become who I see,
In my body, my soul, buried deep in debris.

And I sift, and I sift through the years of confusion,
Through the damage I've taken and the ever-there bruises,
But all come up with is more pain and rage,
When all I want is a new, clean page.

Why do I hate the world and the masses?
That's easy, because it's full of *****.
Now riddle me this, it's a little bit tougher,
Did God put me here on this earth just to suffer?

I'm no fish out of water, I'm a human off land,
In a world that I drown in, there's no place to stand.
I'm only this far in my life 'cause of time,
If it weren't for that, I'd be left behind.

In a world full of sheep, if you don't join the crowd,
And you're not the Shepard, you'll be left out.
So where do you stand when you have no place?
If you want to find out, remember this face.

The days I've wasted comparing myself
Could've gone to building my own skill wealth

To my own talent, blind, only focused on them
Thought no value in me, but believing them gems.

Rack my brains, put on masks, try to emulate all.
Climbed their ladders, not mine, and everytime, fall.

"Why can't I be like these people so great?"
Listen, you are, but their gifts aren't your fate.

You've been looking around, never looking inside.
You've got talent galore, but it's something you hide.

Learn from them but don't try to become what they are.
They aren't you, YOU are you. You're the best You by far.

We've got plenty of Thems, we don't need any more.
What we need is a YOU. Never had one before.

They were each gifted talents unique in their own.
We can't all do the special things others have shown.

But neither can they do the things you can do.
That's why they're YOUR talents. It's what makes you YOU.

Thunder booms
Lightning streaks
A storm inside my soul for weeks.
Tender wounds
No one sees
Reopening with painful ease
I heard your name
I miss your face
Its cold here, in this lonely place
They see me walk
They say your name
Whispers stinging 'such a shame'

It's true what they say.
A gift is a curse.
A curse is a gift.
That curse is hers.
And her? That's me.
I'm her. 'That' She.
That girl, who's gifted.
Whose curse, has lifted,
her higher and higher
To the point I'm at now.
You look up and you say 'wow'
I'm flying here, upside down.
I don't think I'll ever ground.
What feels so wrong,
it feels so right.
I'll never leave this cloudy sight.
Not any day.
Not any night.
Try all you want.
Use all your might.
I'll stay right here.
I'm meant for this.
My heart is home.
My head's in bliss.
I've got a voice.
I'll yell it out.
You'll recognize it, in a crowd.
I'm all alone.
But I've got you all.
More than half of you hate me,
but I can't fall.
I'm here for the duration.
I'm a fixture, now.
Get used to me.
I'm never coming down

I've got.
3 siblings that I don't even **** know about.
And.
2 siblings, who I'd never wanna live without.
But.
with 5 siblings, I've always been an only child.
Alone in my room, playing with my toys awhile.

I'd.
walk along alone, my thoughts my only company.
Wondering what the world is for, whats the need it has for me.

Confidence, It,
Never really was in me.
But, as I learn me more, It's always been abundant, see.

This pain inside my heart, it's what we call reality.
The life I want to live, lives only inside of me.

Nobody ever saw the saddness that resides in me.
The tears in my heart, they're never gonna dry it seems.

I've got a block. It belongs to somebody named Writer.
I'm not getting too far in this life I'm living, either.
My head is swarming, but my pencil is dull.
I guess this **** will have to stay in my skull.
I'm not a kid, but I don't think I'm a grown up.
All of my life, I feel I've let myself be shown up.
I've got it in me. But I guess I've got some demons.
Any shine that I have, they dull it out, "yeah Syn, keep dreamin."
I face my fears, but they always seem to stay with me.
They've been my longest companions, sad reality.
There's a spectrum inside me, but I touch both ends.
I try to live my life as both, but they just cannot blend.
I wanna Rest. And if I'm lucky it'll be In Peace.
But God said to me "Syn, you're not much help deceased."
I met Kurt Cobain. Told him the feeling's mutual.
To finally mute the thoughts I know unmutable.

I knew a girl that woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
The blankets coiled up her legs and laid upon her head.
She thrashed and pulled and shook them loose and looked around the place.
She blinked, astonished, finding she was up in outer space!
She tied the blankets 'round her neck and made herself a cape.
She floated, graceful, through the stars, embracing her escape.
They whispered secrets of the world and cosmic universe.
And sang her songs of times long passed, pure beauty in each verse.
The moonlight rained down onto her, caressed with silken light.
She swam through skies above it all, cape trailing with delight.
Her giggles echoed back by stars, her beautiful new friends.
She asked them if they'd let her stay, and never let this end.

The girl without a mirror,
no sight of who she was.
Sometime down the line,
she tore her face off in disgust.

She had a thousand backup masks,
She adorned each on a whim.
Until the day she met a man,
and fell in love with him.

She wanted him to take her out,
and every day she'd ask.
'Til finally he said to her,
"My dear, you wear a mask.

You can't expect a man to love,
someone he cannot see.
To take you out, each night,
I'd be in different company."

She pondered on his words for days,
and realized he was right.
Her life was false and so was she.
Her lightbulb now shone bright.

She rushed out to the spot
where she last had seen her face.
To no avail. Her face was lost.
Gone without a trace.

She hit the ground and wept so long,
the mask she wore slid free.
The tears she cried, they formed a pool,
inside which she could see.

She looked inside, expecting to see nothing but a blur.
To her surprise, what she saw
she knew was truely her.

She jumped with joy, and off she went.
Without a pause, she ran.
Gleefully she bounced along,
off to find the man.

"It's me, I'm here, this face is mine."
She introduced herself.
Skip forward time, they stand apart
and pledge sickness and health.

I found myself on your car with you, our bodies intertwined.
We'd gaze up at the infinte stars.
One was yours and one was mine.

Now I find myself on my bed alone,
My pillow soaked straight through.
I gaze alone now, on my infinite tears,
which all belong to you.

There's ideas of Life
With perfection and love
Like its NOT full of people who've just had enough
Y'know?

A lot 'a people got a ball n' chain
its all insane
We walk around callin' names
and we...

Bolt a smile on our face
for the day
But then at night
we let the pain bleed away

Too many people got a scar on their arms
And too many more people wear their scars
on their hearts

I saw a pretty girl,
just the other day.
I saw her scars, and she tried to look away;
I thought to tell her
"Don't do that!
You're perfect!
You're Fine!"

But instead I rolled up my sleeves,
and I showed her mine.