Trying to catch every grain of sand as it sifts through your fingers and makes it's way to the ground, only to be walked upon and shoved out of sight, much like every dream I ever had.
Exceeding every option from A to Z, I've grown tired of this constant fight.
Why do I hurt so badly, my heart is so heavy, it's not like there isn't more sand I could pick up and try to keep closer to me preventing much spill , I just thought He was my soul mate sent straight from heaven , I guess I was wrong. I know we are over, it gets worse day by day, I hate the fact that I love him so much it's just best I walk away He won't stop treating me the way he does now, I want to be selfish and stay with him but my love is unconditional and he let me know he's been unhappy for years. I've got to walk away and hope he finds happiness. I have just got to walk away. Loving someone so much *****

If love and marriage were destined to exist with stipulations and self made complications, maybe  someone should have posted the rules. How is it you fall in love with someone knowing their ways but your comfort settles, now you want them to change. I have to wonder as this doesn't make sense, you were attracted to me because I wasn't fake, yet now you want me to transform into something and someone else? We use to have discussions about each other's opinions , now it's your way or no way, we can't agree to disagree because you have to be right , I told you when I met you I would rather use my energy in the bedroom with you than exert it on a useless fight .. Relationships should be one of the easier things in life . If you aim to please the one that you love and put  them first and your partner do the same in return, how could this go wrong? Stop spitting the vinum from your tongue contrary to what you believe , there will come a day when you find yourself having to swallow your own vinum and I can assure you it won't taste as good going down as it did when you were spitting it out.  Stop saying your childish words if you only knew how they made you look , "if I believe it to be true then it is" what does that even mean? A man with no conscience can't have a soul and with no soul , you can't love because love is a commitment based on loyalty and trust and without having a conscience there would be no consequences or feeling of remorse for your choices. Everyone deserves to be who they are and treated with respect. One more thing before my closing thought. Tell me why it is if your woman dresses up for you in a more revealing attire, you  criticise every little thing but yet we can be out in public and a woman walk by with the same attire and your eyes pop out of your head.

Night time holds mystery with it's darkness  removing the light from our day. For what reason are we so critical of this time?, Yes , I agree the night is when most crimes are committed, as the criminal has a better chance to escape in the dark, Have you ever wondered, the where abouts  of this criminal when it's not dark, could he be that nice man that sat on the bench beside you at the park? Or maybe that sweet ole lady you helped cross the road, what about the young boy that bagged your grocery's  and  pushed your shopping cart to your car to unload. You see my point, everything that exists in our nights of darkness, also exists in the light of our day. The night holds a special beauty like the moon and the stars and the lights of the city to the to the hoot owls and fireflies of the country.

I messaged a friend that is one of our own on this wonderful sight HP., Her spirits are down as she's not doing well, . She brings brightness to all of our writes and takes so much pride in the comments she leaves, I was hoping we could all say a Prayer or send a kind thought her way. She has truly inspired so many of us , she has a heart of gold. Her name is Kim Johanna Baker. I know she will appreciate any and all kind words as we all have appreciated hers. This will lift her spirits so I thank you all in advance , for I have never met this beautiful woman that lives across the sea but she lays heavy in my heart as if I've known her for ever. Please leave her a comment if you have the time God Bless. Please repost this as I am new and have few followers and she has many so everyone can see.

Through my entire life a mirror was my best friend, although I held faith in my vanity , and layed visions of humbleness to never show conceit, extra pounds or a flaw of imperfection never crossed my mind,
I was always an athlete without a failed attempt, as I knew no other way, , somehow somewhere my health took a turn for the worst, my once beautiful body, is no longer beautiful today.
Without casting a shadow or a reflection of me , inside my heart I'm still alive and Invision myself as I use to be, it rains horror over me trying to comprehend what happened to my existence why did the one thing I was so proud of have to go away. If I had one wish for myself I would wish to return my body so when I look in the mirror again I will see me. I long to walk proud again so my outside will match  my insides and make me complete.

©kimmied1105

How can I describe this child, for there's not another to compare.
His eyes from heavens blue to oceans emerald green, his hair a soft shiny brown, his lashes long with the perfect curl, ever girl is full of  envy, his lips are full and defined to perfection,  a smile that lights up the room, his body ripped like a body builder, He is almost the sight  of perfection in everything you see. But this image I have described for you is only what you see, the things inside my son are more breathtaking than his looks . His sense of humor keeps people rolling , his heart as big as the world, his intelligence  will surprise you when he devotes himself. His spirit of giving is one rare to see, His positive attitude is what keeps me going day to day. His demeanor, is hard to describe, he always remains himself in any situation. He always know what to say. He sends me messages I so need to hear, especially one I received today. He has received pictures of his beautiful daughter as she is a spitting image of him. His message read, , " you  know,  Riley Jo looks alot like you too, without you we wouldn't be as blessed as we are today. Without you we wouldn't be here , I love you and  thank you for everything #back to normal soon"  I miss my son more than words can say. I can only hope he knows it's all the little things he does and says that makes me want to wake for another day.

Who made these rules and words we speak, the decision of good and evil defines as the laws of gravity , what goes up must go down.  Where there is life there to will follow in death . Even the flowers that bloom wither away with time , soil begins to mold as the waters drip from the sky and the sunshine heats the world . Opposites attract and love and hate. Who made these rules we crave . Heaven to hell, right and left, sinners and saints , to rich and poor who made these rules we say

Listen closely to the sound , this seashell that has floated upon the shore  of white sand, as you place it's magic upon your ear, the rippling sound of the crashing waves is what you hear.
Oh how I wish I could fit inside, for the tide descending back into these Waters of blue, carrying me into the majestic ocean floor beyond the sands never touched by man, the beauty these Waters allow us to see, I am imagining how mysterious the rest could be, for we haven't a clue.    Laying beneath the so much unseen , lost city's, sunken vessels, treasures of a time long ago , the story of another time  all buried beneath a place we dare not go. Laying beneath the grounds of our feet another world  left undiscovered , only to imagine, the the secrets it keeps , the magestic land that remains unseen.

They see only what i allow them, trapped beneath the shell of my existence only to disguise my person. walking along , head held high with a fearless smile, like a blind man to see inside me, they must read brail.  My back and shoulders in posture with all self control   as I only allow them to see my outer shell. Graceful poise, of confidence claiming pretend of a  happy, healthy person ,. Why is it so that my eyes graze across a face of unfamiliar people yet I have the ability to see through their soul, I feel their pain and sense their sadness, yet they don't see mine .I'm made not of plastic and my flesh it bleeds, my body full of pain,  I feel sadness as I have lost everything I ever had or wanted to gain.  Behind that smile i wear on my face is a lost soul that cries rivers of tears ,  I  hide it well for it's not pitty I seeks, but showing weakness in my own self would keep me from showing others that they can rise above. If nobody tried, took chances or cared what kind of shape would we be,. If it's been done once it can be done again if it hasnt, there's always the first. It only takes one person to set their problems aside and help others overcome theirs, who I am without making a sacrifice after all Look what our Lord sacrificed for you and me ..

Never believing in love at first sight, nor my prince charming riding in on a white horse to rescue me and live happily ever after.
We have dreams and fantasy's , most never come true, that is until the night I layed eyes on you .
My eyes making me aware of my surroundings, suddenly there wasn't another face I could see, in a restaurant full of people yet none of them existed.
My stomach felt like it could fly away from the butterflies flapping there wings,  I knew from that moment I had met the man I had convinced myself didn't exist, it was love at first sight .
Our love story is a one of a kind . There was no means to break the bond that we had, until that day our happy turned sad, circumstances ripped you away and left me alone, my life after that left me holding your promise. For twelve long years I waited and  wondered, when I had all been given up on you ever coming to find me, my prince showed up to rescue me. From that point on we picked up where we left off. I know in my heart God sent you to me to love and cherish and never to leave.

Soaring  above the moonlit sky far above the constillation , peaking down through the white clouds of puff, watching as the stars drop from heaven.
What a world to be seen as I look down  from up above.
For  the mountains covered in snow caps there is so much beauty and the wildlife running so free. The elk strutting all around, the Rocky mountain big horns playing by hooking horns and then the Grizzly Bear  catching trout from the springs.   As I look into the oceans of water crystal clear , the whales, the sharks , and the amazing dolphins all  swim for miles, without a care or a fear.  All through the jungles of Africa , the Lions holding their thrones as the king's, the tigers waiting for their supper hiding  behind the rocks, let's not forget the gorillas and apes occupying the swinging branches of the trees,  through the muddy swamps,  where the saw grass grows and the Gators and snakes lurk. ,
Oh the beauty of the land down under, how I would love to take a walk about, as the kangaroos run freely carrying their little joeys, snuggled safely in their pouch. I've never been to France, I see the stories are true, as I'm looking down on the city of romance I picture me and you.
So much beauty and freedom, my view from up here.

Is it possible to be so caring that your own needs are pushed out of sight.? A battle against the devil throwing boulders every step of the way, finally he must have fallen to rest , giving me the lead to begin the journey promised. A young man imprisoned became a good friend to my son, his story grabbed me by the only strings I have no control of, indeed the strings to my heart. He lost his mother while locked up and the streets was the only roots he knew, but see, this young man was much like my son, a child four days older than my son's was born while he was in.  Never laying his eyes upon her, as his way was faint. My heart broke for him as I planned to see his dream through.
Once the devil layed to rest his release the very next day, God reached down his miracles and I was on my way.  With a borrowed car I drove for six hours to see him to his freedom, then we drove another five to take care of his business, the trip after that full of excitement and fear as in seven more hours this young man would holding his child in his arms.  As I watched with tears rolling a beautiful sight to see, as he looked down into the crib where she lay , his voice shaking , she looks just like me. His shock and excitement every emotion he could feel rained down on this young man as he realized not only was he a grown man but reality of being a dad sat  in. The next morning as I prepared to leave I opened my eyes to the whole purpose of my trip, baby Zoe was latched around the neck of her daddy , loving on  him, not wanting him out of her sight. I tried to fight back my tears but failed , on my drive back home of another seven hours, my body swollen and in pain, I couldn't help but wonder what would have become of him if I had chose to not care about someone I had never met, through the pain of all my travel I have peace in my heart today. I thank you sweet Jesus for all your blessings and the love in my heart but mostly for making a way.   The choice is all in his hands now I pray he sees the good in life and never forgets that if a stranger can make a sacrifice for someone she's never met, then he too can sacrifice for his baby girl and leave his past behind. To start his life over and one day tell his story to someone else that may be needing the same, about the woman he came to call ma and how she joined in with Jesus to make his dream cone true that day.

©kimmied1105

What a wonderful feeling it would be just to wake up one day to peace and serenity.
When the burdens of stress overcome me I wish he would love me through it
It seems like the harder things get the worse he becomes.
I've never known the feeling of being someone's number one..
He claims he's my rock for me to lean on him , but how can he be my rock when he treats me this way. I just need an ear to listen sometimes or a hug assuring I'm ok,
How can someone that loves you and knows your struggles try to make things harder, I need to know if I should fall you will be there to catch me , if I break, I need you to know me better than I know myself, so when putting me back together you make me whole.

From the moment of conception i kept you safe inside me for nine months. After your birth you slept on my chest so you were near my heart. The bond between a mother and her son is made of steel for never to be broken. All through your childhood I've picked you up and wiped you off over and over again. You've made your mistakes as we all have. Yours ended in tragedy and you lost your best friend, now you are in that cement cage all by yourself , my fears are unfolding , I got your call today, you were stabbed eight times it was six against one , now my body so numb yet hurts to move , my worry increased as if there was room for that . You say your ok but son I'm not . I can't get to you to protect you and it's killing me slow, God please place a hedge around my baby boy keep the evil away from him bring him safely back home .

There are words that haunt me worse than the ghosts of a burnt asylum.  To hear someone say, there's nothing we can do, nothing will stop them. Makes my blood boil . We are people created as equal , yet one man holds the fait of one's life in his hands. He hands down a sentence of whatever his choosing when it's written to obide the punishment set forth for a crime to follow. Who or what is  this  law enforcement, making arrests, setting a bond, sentencing to prison, for what they claim to be defeating violence or crime on the streets let's not forget their war on drugs. For sake of my humor as I'm laughing out loud, I was under the impression in order to solve a problem you must start with the source, well I'm screaming this loudly so I can be heard, the law enforcement officers wear a badge on their chest and took an oath to protect, through the barbwire fences surrounding our jails and prisons they work every day, but the problem at hand when they preach to stop crime, Mr. Officer this man is in prison for the sale of a drug, how dare you make it more accessible than the streets you arrested him while he serves time in this prison and it's law enforcement peddling the weapons and drugs and promoting violence where loved ones lay stabbed but nothing done. Stop kidding yourself it's too plain to see the war that they are fighting will never end because it's the ones enforcing the law that need to be in prison the drugs on the street starting with them

What is wrong with this world we live in today?
Have we become so consumed with politics and fame. Have we forgotten the purpose our Constitution stands for? The law of this land the Lord says we must live by, is this still true when the law of the no longer lives by God's Law.  Removing Him and Prayer from our Schools, was what we as God's Children allowed them to do. This Nation went to battle against one another over electing our president to run this Country, How could we not fight this hard for the One in which we were founded. One Nation Under God , is written for us but His Commandments removed . What is wrong with this world we live in,. There is no hesitation when a dollar is involved, (shaking my head in shame) maybe we should take the time to see the words on that bill for stamped on back of each and every one reads "IN GOD WE TRUST" but wait a minute for those who don't believe , you reside in a country built on the words One Nation Under God, as you sit in the courts of oh glory land , you swear to tell the truth the whole truth so help you God as you raise your right hand, your wealth in currency you have no problem with as it stare back at you IN GOD WE TRUST". Its no surprise this world has gone to hell , what did we expect when we removed what pieces of heaven one time existed.

How does ones brain hold so many beings when it's capacity is made for one.  
The confusion must be exhausting or do you know each and every one?
Do they all have a name, are they connected to your heart?
I'm desperate to understand , for I know of at the very least 6, all with personality much different than your own.
Do they stay with you every day or sometimes go away,? Are they sleeping in your head or pounding in your brain.
This is far from an opinion developed in my mind, not only are they different in their presence but each ones appearance is defined. This is in your body and your head, can you ask them to leave or have you begged them to stay , I'm afraid if you don't rid yourself of these people in your head I'll be forced to go away.
Trying to make light of it I make a joke or two and tell you at least I'll never cheat on you, I never know who I'm waking up to, is it one of them or is it you. ?
There are several that are mean and evil, maybe one is caring but outweighed by the one that can't be older than 5 and one that may be 7. Can you ask them to vacate your body and find someone new before this complicated insanity comes further between me and you

I admire your canning ability to gain my full attention. I can sense your desire to ****** me by your hypmatizing glare, your come hither look is flattering, but I must warn you to be aware.
As some things in life may not be as they appear. For through your eyes my appearance is that of a pure lady with *** appeal , as my silken dress is pressed to fit every curve just right , with a slit running up it stopping mid thigh. Just enough room for an imagination to run wild. My top folded delicately enough you can see perfect cleavage, just enough of my tanned breast to leave you wanting more. Making my way through the crouded party to the balcony overlooking the beautiful ocean. Standing alone with my eyes closed listening as the waves crash in, I feel a presence behind me and your hot breath against my skin, the chill bumps run across me, I almost lost control, your body so tight against me I can feel the beats of your heart.
The sensation of Sparks begin to ignite as you gently run your finger up the slit of my dress, teasing my lace *******, pulling them to the side.  I could feel myself throbbing as my wetness surrounded your finger as you slid  it inside me. My knees growing week with every move you made. I leaned into you and whispered softly in your ear, I've given you fair warning things aren't always as they seem but you continue to toy with me you don't know what you are about to unleash.  With a quaint little smirk he added a finger his thumb up against my ****, you are bringing me to my explosion of pure ecstacy.
There was no holding back as I released my sweetness his hardness was like steel, you have released the freak in me as we make our way on the beach , ripping clothes off left and right I knelt down in front of him as he placed himself in my hot wet mouth my eyes piercing up at him as he pulled the back of my hair, I pushed him over as I mounted him  and gave him one hell of a ride.  As we finished both more than pleasured , still on top I look down and say  do you understand now my warning to you as you turned a **** lady into a complete freak in bed.

Dancing merely along,  my hair blowing in the warmth of the sun,  through the ever green meadow as the softness of grass tickle my bare toes .
This burning bliss of freedom caressing my body like the silken feathers of a swan. Dancing along no worries to hold me down. Closing my eyes , my senses aroused by the sweet scent of  luscious Jasmine in the air.  Nature has it's way of healing our souls, wind blowing the worries from my head, followed by the rain to wash them away, The sunshine comes to dry the rain as the moon awaits another day .

I loved a poem I read today, the next one not so well, eyes stuck as I kept on reading for hours, one told of love, as the other about hate, another spoke of suicide the next their life was great.
Writing is so powerful, it speaks about our life. Be it good or bad or sad or happy, writing sets you free, freedom to express freedom to speak without being interrupted, freedom to be real or to pretend, writing is simply expressing yourself of how you are or long to be .
© kimmied 1105

Trying to survive this life through the struggles and the pain is like climbing a mountain during a rock slide. With darkness down below.
Dodging and ducking,  can't look up, and won't look down .
One wrong step will send you plunging straight back to the ground.
Exhaustion overcomes your body as you prepare  to quit.
Just about the time you start to let go of the side of that mountain a harsh sense of reality of what waits below hits,
If you give up now and fall to your death, the devil will have defeated you, it is then you  surrender  your soul.
The fall will be at the least of your worries it's what waits for you at the landing,  the devil with his arms wide open waiting for your defeat, standing amongst his evil beings in his kingdom of souls now forgotten, i have heard it called The devil's playground. Filled with evil engulfed in flames of fire, The choice is yours to surrender your soul to the devil or Reach out for  God,  as He will help you climb, Standing at the top of that mountain with his arms open wide. Your faith has brought you to a safe haven as there's nowhere else I would rather be than in the arms of God,  these struggles will soon be over my child, as tomorrow will be a new day, hold strong to your faith and just as I've promised you ,  this too shall pass.

Thoughts roaring through my head, never stopping long enough to solve my own issues.
I watch as the remains of my sanity string through my fingertips with no chance to stop it.
I have been told all of my life, how I'm so strong , how they wish they could handle things like me , how do I do it , I'm the strongest woman they have ever seen.  And I ponder on these opinions and still wish one thing.
I wish I were standing there as they were standing here, just a glance through their eyes I would like to see, I would like to see through there eyes as they are looking at me . To be on the outside looking in would be a sight to see, maybe one day I'll see through my own eyes what their eyes see when they are looking at me.

Darkened days have fallen like dead branches from a tree.
Have we no ambition to brighten our life in this cruel world in which we reside,, yet we absorb all the negative energy and expect it not to be. A world of anger, depression, replacing happiness and love , we are creating self made anxiety.
We are all created as equal so the story tells, is it by our own choices that made the tainted evils of  this world a way of life to live, we stand in the dark as we criticize one another when we need to criticize ourself, just as we live in the dark and consume our heart with anger and expect it to change by itself . The sadness in life is going to be just as the happy times will too. For where there is good there will be evil, the way we choose to live this life we are given is totally up to me and you. Let the sun fill your heart as you are Blessed beyond belief, though you will never see it standing in the dark watching the dead branches fall from the tree.

Every second of every hour, my heart lays heavy as thoughts of you race through my mind,
Oh my son how I am missing you.
Hours turn into days, days into weeks, never a moment passes by, I try to chase a happy thought visioning  your beautiful smile,  it never lasts long enough and once again I cry,  Oh son I'm Missing You.
Hearing your voice on the phone is a blessing every time, I never let you know that when we speak your voice tells it all. I can read you like a book just by your tone. Some days I hear a young man grown up so much but other days I can hear your pain and sense your fear and I know how bad you wish you were home. Oh my son I'm Missing you .
Every Holliday is sad for me as I know it is for you. Sweet baby boy of mine, two years have passed, it seems like forever since I've seen you. If we can just hold on a little longer, this uphill battle we've been on is on the down hill side of over. My Sweet Boy God  only knows How Much Your Momma is Missing You..

They stood helpless as He was Crowned with thorns, then anchored with wood in form of a cross.  He carried that cross to the scene of his death, where they drove spiked nails through his flesh.
Hung from the cross tortured and beat , His death Fell upon him, They  wrapped his body in a white  sheet and laid it inside the tomb. As they left they sealed the tomb with a boulder surely to heavy to move. Our Father gave his life that day for the sake of our sins .
As Mary went to the tomb that day, she bear witness of an angel perched on the rock, as the rock no longer blocked the entrance to the tomb where Jesus was laid, she entered the tomb and much to her surprise, Jesus Christs  body was no longer there as the angel spoke to Mary "He's Alive" He Rose from the dead that day to forgive us of our sins. As we live this life He gave to us I praise Him for His Grace For Just as He died for us He Rose from the Dead just the same. He is Alive Thank you sweet Jesus

Waking to the melodies of a chorus of birds. Visioning the  leafs on the trees dancing merely to the beat.
  April showers falling from the heavens above,   touching the unearthed seedlings preparing for their bloom.
Springtime is almost here.
May arriving bringing the sunshine to dry the moistened ground, as each seeding awakes by the morning dew, their limbs stretching through the soil , like a baby chick pecking the shell, they are brought to life.
There is so much beauty a city never sees, like the enchanted flies of the southern country with glowing fairy-like wings. Let's not forget the whipperwill singing in the old oak trees or the katiedids that hide in their shell. The crickets joining as their legs play violin as the bull frogs play base with there deep vocal sounds, if you sit quietly you may likely hear, the howling of  a pack of coyotes so far from you but sound so near.
Springtime in the south is heaven on Earth , no hustle or bustle or lights from the cities to interfere.
I can't imagine springtime anywhere but here.

Though you've never held me in your arms or seen my precious face.
Though  you have never held  my little hand and led me on my way
Though youve  never read me a bedtime story or bounced  me on your knee.
Though you haven't stood for hours and watch me as I sleep.
Though you haven't knelt  beside me to say my bedtime prayer or tucked  me in at night.
Though you've never  kiss my little cheek and to make me feel alright.
  Though I haven't met you yet, it's not too far away.
I'll be here waiting for you on that special day.
These are all the things I dream about and I hope that you do too.
  Daddy don't you worry cause your little girl already loves you .

©kimmied1105

The heat intense like your body basking in the sun, sweat forming tear drop shapes,  rolling in slow motion as it finds it's destination .
I try to look away but my mind being held hostage,   my insides  burning and begging to be touched.
Heart beats growing rapid raging fire deep inside.
Oh my God you haven't touched me physically but your sexiness is ****** my mind.
Teasing and taunting mind blowing as I glare at you beginning to touch yourself.
Melting my sensation, from a purring kitten my transformation out of control,  watching the pleasure on your face as your hips begin to run wildly in sequence with every ****** of your hand , I'm losing control. My inner beast can't take anymore,  As I straddle your face my fingers spreading my wet folds , your tongue dancing inside me, my vision becomes blurred my hips lock as the contractions pump wildly releasing  the juice of my fruit. My body so limp from the intense release as you turn me over like a rag doll and guide yourself inside of me. Your sweat now like the rapids running down stream chasing a waterfall, the hot wet friction between my thighs as my nails scream pleasure down the skin of your back as you burst sensation both pain and pleasure inside of me   our breath of hard labor and bodies immobile, after hot passionate love making leaves us exhausted

Be patient with her son, as she's only known you for a little while.      
  Give her time and your baby girl will feel Comfort when you smile.
  Be patient with her son, if she pulls away from your first hug.
  It won't be long  And she will be the one giving your shirt tale a tug.
  Be patient with her son, as she needs reassured all along.
  For the stranger standing in front of her is  her Daddy  that loves her so much and will always be there to teach her right from wrong.
  Be patient my son

©kimmied1105

Defenseless as the bull lays with his limbs wound tight with twined rope, watching as the hot iron lay upon his coat and melt it's way to his flesh. All he can do is Bellow at the agonizing pain for he is unable to stop it. Flowing rapid through his vanes the pain , like the rivers rushing down the stream.
The torture still steaming as the damage is done ,he wears the memory of that pain daily to remind of a feeling of helplessness dismissing his dignity replacing it with his submission as he is forever branded .  I live this feeling everyday as I wake to the torture of my limbs twined with invisible rope, the only difference is the burning flesh is inside piercing my heart as I lay helpless knowing I can't save you from your pain. The worry rips through me ****** and kidnapping my sanity as the thought of the unknown is more than I can bare. Although my scars  are internal ,  the naked eye can't see , the hurt  and fear I  feel for you,  brands me every day

As I reach out to help you, my instinct to guard and protect you, my efforts are  halted .
Feelings of helplessness living false hope consume my every thought. A mother bear unable to  protect her cub infuriates her in a violent rage, as she will stop at nothing to reunite with her baby. But how can I reach you and stop you from walking into the blazing fire, it is evil my child the devil in one of many diguises. Back down and get away from those that are Satan's spawns. I begged and I pleaded with fools but  their ignorance ignored my warnings, as I spoke with words they could comprehend, Not to take my baby boy from me , they wanted to set an example and let politics rule their judgement, Your Honor, I am begging you,  my son made a mistake and deserves to be punished but his sentence of memories from that night is a life sentence please don't put him behind those bars or you will only make a good boy turn bad. I can't reach you to save you baby save yourself and pray to God for He is your Savior son and He will see you through. Hell has no fury when the Mother Bears cub is safe and she returns to finish protecting the ones that took her cub away.

©kimmied1105

How does one know if they are a true poet or merely a lost soul with pen and paper unscrambling their emotions.  Flying high in a cloud of words with definition,  picking and choosing the ripest  like a grape from the vine, reaching into the depths of my heart with the blood of my conviction dripping words on my tablet describing my visions of  life. Yet still the question rains like thunder crashing and lightning striking, be it a fool destined to become a true poet or a poet with eyes that are blind. Knowing the words to be written because they embrace me like a mother does a new born child , but searching for description as to what  makes a poet in a true poets eyes.?

Reality is a battle from within, where your spiritual essence of your inner thoughts stand guard against the inner demons awaiting the attack , how unfortunate that your inner demons don't play well with others

What is this being standing before me in human form, spitting evil words and lashing insults like a leather strap crossing my back . Has it no heart or maybe one made of stone . Manipulating my inosance and tearing me down from the inside out. Has it no heart to bleed with regret or feel no remorse.
Why can't I turn and walk away, does my self rain of ignorance and stand with false hope. Believing that the words I love you and I'm sorry mean something more than the art of placing them together with no meaning at all . Do I escape from this torture or remain for more , when is enough going to be the destruction of my being when I've taken too much.
I stand and ponder to see The Distruction of Myself

©kimmied1105

As you travel through this journey of life, stay on your path, if it leads you in the right direction. Watch for the signs, they give you your warnings, move over and allow on coming traffic for people to enter your life, don't  follow them as they exit, these are the ones you don't need. Stop at the stop signs pay attention, slow down for bumps as you will have many, hitting a dead end means you took a wrong turn, a lesson in life  you go through, all of your travels mold who you are , continue to travel your journey of life looking forward , for looking in your rear view mirror to live in your past, your purpose of life will pass you by and you may never see it
©kimmied1105

Choose your words carefully,  as they are so easily spoken, yet rarely ever meant. Your words hold more power than ever imagined, but used without thinking holds the same with regret.
Words can be screamed so loud , or spoken with a whisper , no matter which way you speak them keep this in mind. Once they leave your mouth you never can retrieve them, so choose your words wisely and be sure the words you say to another you completely mean them , They never go away, remembered forever by the one you spoke them to. Be careful of the words you say ,
©kimmied1105

Before you go on to read  my writing, I ask that you read the one Titled " A Mother's Worst Fear" as you will appreciate and  understand this better .  As i sat patiently waiting  for my best friend of 20 years to be uncaged and given his freedom,
The excitement as I arrived must have blinded my entrance, never paying any mind to my surroundings , until I checked in with a guard and showed him my licence. He said without a smile for me to have a seat in the lobby, as I turned to do just that my heart hit the ground and then it hit me , I was standing in a building centered in the middle of a huge rounded  fence laced with razor sharp barbed metal.
I couldn't imagine the look on my face as I found me a seat, thoughts and emotions running so deep.
I couldn't help but notice 2 women sitting across from me, engaged in conversation. I heard one say her son was the young age of 19  , he had been stabbed four times in 2 different prisons, as the other chimed in her boy was now 30 this was his second time behind the fence of barbed wire
I tried to keep my head down so they couldn't see the tears welling in my eyes ,  my throat felt like a cotton ball was lodged I couldn't hardly swallow,  they shared their stories of their sons and their convictions, one was saling drugs the other robbed a store. Something inside me felt like a knife taking jagged strikes through my heart. My purpose for being there lost in my thoughts, I tried to stay silent and go unnoticed to reframe from any invitation of conversation   as one lady spoke up. Ma'am are you here to get your son too. I can't imagine the look on my face as I choked through the ball of cotton to respond to her. No ma'am unfortunately I'm not his release isn't until November of this year, my best friend of 20 years is the reason I'm here. Dropping my head back down I couldn't reframe any longer, the pain to much, tears rolling down my face as I tried wiping them away. My thoughts of my baby boy running rapid, God how I wish I was here to get him.
The men in uniform in and out , leaving me sickened with the metal doors slamming and self locking at their exit and entrance. The men all around the centered building I waited ,all wearing white with large black words stamped on their backs "Property of the State" Nothing but glass between them and me, I watched as some gathered while others sat alone in their own little world and wondered what my baby did when he was out there , was he joining the others in a game of ball or was he all by himself sad and alone. A guard informed us it wouldn't be long now, they were signing their release, The mother's excitement filled the room, was I being selfish, I should be excited to. soon I would see my best friend,  but all that my mind could think was God why can't I be waiting on my boys release. I picked up my friend as we got in the car, he noticed my silence and could see I had been crying , his age and conviction and knowing me so well, he offered me his condolences and then he said, you know I would've traded places with him just to see you reunited and happy again. Piercing pain and sorrow over took me now .we weren't even out of the parking lot I couldn't see to drive through my tears, I hugged him tightly and said, this is why you will always be my best friend for the next 20 years. My son called me later that night to congratulate my friend as I heard his voice crack on the other end of the line he said tell Mr. David I'm glad he's free , hey momma don't worry it's not my turn yet , he's aged and doesn't have the time left out there I do, for the next time you walk through this fence of barbed wire it will be me walking out to go home with you.

©kimmied1105

I always knew I was different , my own breed of human or something else.
Caring for everybody and feeling their pain , knowing their thoughts before spit from their mouth like vinum.
Be it like a curse slithering like the hair of madusa or a blessing like an angel with no wings.
There is but no place my presence exists if in company of another that I have any sense of silence.
Picture this if you will , close your eyes, screams of sadness skorch like the boiler on a hot eye without any water, seeing a vision in your head and wanting to warn someone about something terrible about to happen but the disturbing essence of it is, boxing with God isn't my job so what is there left to do.  
Aw let's drift behind the scenes of the world of spiritual beings rounding your head like a yoyo spinning into tangles of ratted up yarn. Needing your mind to tie loose ends or calm their doom of spiritual waste.
The life of an empathy, always making other's lives of peaceful logic and leaving their own stranded like a kidnapped baby in a forest of thorns with no entrance in and no exit out. This is my life

©kimmied1105

We search hopelessly for the love of our life. Basic reality leaves us to compare in most of the choices that we make ,  
Problem is we choose the things appealing to our eyes and leave the the rest alone  
Perfect point to understand the worth of a gem, some cut and polished and shine like the sun but once touched by the hands of man the worth of the gem is less valuable in comparison to the love we find the value of a beaten soul that's been torn and hurt by another, when you see her bruised face you pass her by for she wasn't appealing to your eyes.
Have you ever inquired the behind the scenes of a gem at the glance of it when it's dug from the ground, beneath the dirt and mud tossed and turned and beaten by mother nature and her wrath, it's initial find much like the passing of the bruised , is tainted by this world we live , ever wondered in your closed mind the true value of it's worth   go beyond what appeals at your first glance , wipe the Earths  **** from the gem and shine it up now do the same for the person you passed that another person abused, take them in let their bruises heal get to know their true worth, for the next time you walk about on a life journey in search of a gem or true love , don't pick the ones that are so appealing to your eyes , dig through the rubbel or see through the bruises and there my friend is the finest most expensive beauty of a gem and the true love your in search of  to spend the rest of your life with.  Beauty is only skin deep but knowing what's beyond the skin and outer core of appeal is the find I would treasure much more than the fakeness of the appeal
©kimmied1105

Free spirited life, held no confinements..where might you have  gone? for you have taken the key , I've searched these same walls that are closing around me, steel trap imprisoned within this mental cage. Invasions of memories my life bursted with excitement as the wings of my existence feathered and free. Vanished existence like fall leaves falling from the tree , Loneliness haunts me like a scorched asylum ,nothing remaining but gloomy stress as the feeling of confinement in gulfs my remains  i haven't the ability  left to premeditate plans  for escape  for my severity of change , once an Eagle flying free To a Finch as I go unseen , The trickery or fuckery whichever it may be,   destined to destroy what's left of me trapped in this wrenched  mental cage .
©kimmied1105

Look onward out towards the crashing waves of the sea.
It's there I dare to compare the rock holding form upon the crystal reef.
Compare to whom for there is no capable being upon this Earth holds claim to equal such
I know only one strong enough to withstand those  violently crashing waves , my hero , my daddy, his back totes the weight of the world every day , this rock standing firm in the heart of the crystal reef, holds little force to compare
Journey with me for your eyes won't believe
Young but recalling the blizzard one winter my hero, my daddy that returned from the mountain
Eyes of sky blue shining through crystals of icicle hanging from his lashes, his face purple from the wicked freeze of sleet.
I peered with pain while my mother laid warmth over my hero's frozen face, it was the rock in the reef that cold winter's day far across the fierce mountain snow he tracked to provide a meal a for his family
A wife and four girls , a back that had been broken not one but three times , I couldn't hold the tears in my eyes as my bus passed him walking as it drove me to school  there was no money for a vehicle, my hero, my daddy, five miles to and five miles home, every  single day for over six months and never missed a day , walked with his *******  back to provide for us
His hands were covered with hard labor of his life as the mines collapsed sparing his life as it ripped his finger away
His job led him underground just miles from hell for to long
Turning his lungs to it's likeness of the coal
Three days went by what seemed forever as the rubble they lifted from that mine was like holding a gun to the head of the men trapped in below
For the chance of that bullet one wrong move would send the mine and it's beings far beneath the earth to never be found.
We glared at the pile of rubble they said time was running out
Wait what does that mean as the families begin to weep
When all of the sudden the minor let out the words that sounded angelic to my ears, Men I see a light shining in the hole and it's coming towards me.
I could see as what looked in the form of a man but was covered with black from the coal the light from his hard hat turning side and up and down as he had one man on his shoulder he lifted him out and disappeared to retrieve the other men still down in that deep dark hole. One by one my hero my daddy brought them to their safety , this my friend is the rock from the reef that can withstand the crashing waves,  the man that tracked through a freezing blizzard to make sure his family ate, and the man that returned the husband's home safe to their family's from the depths of hell that day Always and forever this man will be , My Hero , My Daddy!
©kimmied1105

Remembering the time so many years ago
Aunts and Uncles, and their children all drove for miles,
For this I ask myself , as the dinner table amused me
like the
Movement of a Merry go round
Round one round two
Could we carve the **** bird before round three
Not a chance first sisters vs sisters the circus life amusing not so as our holiday cheer. It's never enough joined their husbands like freaks a muse  from a mime show couldn't rain so clear. At last the children joined in a rustle a bustle round and round we go
Can someone stop this ride I scream this family is a joke
Next year I'm begging you to miss the turn to this circus mochary get your kids and don't forget the dog see your way to the door
Aw the circus life is a freak show Everytime our family gets together
Don't send an invitation nor will I just remember in order to ride this ride you must be so tall take a seat , keep your hands and your feet inside the ride at all times because if your family is your foa distinguished such as mine hold on tight it's gonna be a ride to remember oh one hell of a ride

The vibrance of your seductive stare taunts me to invite your touch.
Your eyes turn from a hazel gaze to the fire depths of an emerald green
I can feel your soft caress as your hand slides down my body
My insides bursting with desire as you press your lips to mine
Tasting your breath with my wet tongue feeling your depths become hard
Teasing me could be dangerous as I whisper in his ear
His hands slide over the peaks of my mounds infliction of pain  of wanting more of him
Take me you fool if it's submission you desire it's granted
Do as you please ,my body craving his feel
His touch fell beneath my waste as I felt the throbbing of my *** about to explode.
As his prince entered my castle thrusting and throbbing until the vanes in his body surfaced I felt his sweet release
Our bodies fit like a glove as we lay between the silky sheets
My love there's nothing that can compare to the beauty of the fireworks we ignite with every passionate stare.
© kimmied 1105

The vibrance of your seductive stare taunts me to invite your touch.
Your eyes turn from a hazel gaze to the fire depths of an emerald green
I can feel your soft caress as your hand slides down my body
My insi Ides bursting with desire as you press your lips to mine
Tasting your breath with my wet tongue feeling your depths become hard
Teasing me could be dangerous as I whisper in his ear
His hands slide over the peaks of my mounds infliction of pain  of wanting more of him
Take me you fool if it's submission you desire it's granted
Do as you please ,my body craving his feel
His touch fell beneath my waste as I felt the throbbing of my *** about to explode.
As his prince entered my castle thrusting and throbbing until the vanes in his body surfaced I felt his sweet release
Our bodies fit like a glove as we lay between the silky sheets
My love there's nothing that can compare to the beauty of the fireworks we ignite with every passionate stare.
©kimmied1105

A fever consumed my two year old body, lasting for days then into weeks, burning like fire, and when this fire fled my being it left with a vengeance leaving destruction that would rain on me every single day and remind me when I looked in the mirror of the pain my scarlet fever made.
As my eyes grew weak as the fever stayed within, left the damage of my muscles for my eyes to both cross .
Throughout the years from such a young age I dealt with the fact of my difference from other kids but not me oh no I did not feel bad for me at all   only because my daddy taught me all my life to have pride and always stand tall , never say , I can't or not even try, never give up on anything , try not to question why,. Be the best at all you do and stop at nothing less , if it's been done once it can be done ahain, if it hasn't there's always a first, ,that mirror holds an image of what the world may see , an ugly Duckling in their eyes but my daddy hurt for me worse than I did so he paid to fix my eyes . At the age of 13 I lay silent on a stretcher ready to go to sleep so when I woke I could look straight with both eyes .
After the stitches and bandages were removed I was ready for my reveal, as my daddy held a mirror to my face I saw his tears raining down his check, I peered at the person staring back at me as she was much different than the one before
I dropped the mirror as I started to cry as my daddy held me tight , he whispered softly so only I could hear , my baby girl thank you dear Jesus, as you have turned from the ugly ducking so people said to the most beautiful swan of all

Pitter patter , pitter patter, as you are awaken from your sleep.
Oh but the fallen heart so in love
In love with that perfect tiny little child as they run as fast as they can and land middle of the bed,
Good morning my sunshine , you slept well,  as the hugs wrap you so heavenly.  Even with the darkest gloom they shine such vibrant light the second their presence is in the room.
No matter the regret of one day of sleeping in , hand and hand we go , it's time for our day to begin.   Aw the love of a grandchild no apples or oranges do compare for there's only a love so pure and honest and destined to last a lifetime. Lay beside me  their tiny voice whispers as the day has been long,  night is upon us, as I tuck my sweets into bed.
Grandma, yes dear, I love you Soo much, as the light from the moon shined upon the face of the innocent child I returned with words ,
Oh my dear grandchild something you should never forget, the love I feel in my heart for you is more than I could ever express. Sweet dreams my love as I tuck them to bed , and fall into a dreamy  sleep,  as I know come tomorrow I will be woken again by the sound of their tiny two feet. Pitter patter pitter patter

Bark, bark, yap, yap,
Don't they ever stop, you bad dog you chewed my favorite shoe, lay down , get outside , chain them up, cover their mouth with a leather strap where they can't speak,.  They get left in scorching heat. It's not to cold it's a dog, he has a dog house he can take shelter from that storm. Don't stop it's just a dog you ran over. So you leave his body to lay..
You fool, can't you see, they are just babies like we use to be , they bark and yap cause they are talking to you, they need your attention so they chewed your favorite shoe. Let's see how it feels to put that chain on your neck and leave you tangled outside for days, let me forget I didn't get you freshwater it's only 100° today, crawl in that boarded up box to shelter yourself from the rain, it's normal for you to shake in the cold ,  if I strike you and leave you lay they lock me up for ******, You should be ashamed of yourself   Human you call yourself  what part of this is humane.
They love , they hate, they hurt they feel pain and joy they cry real tears , they blood runs through them to pump their heart, they are no different than you and me   wait what am I saying there is but one very big difference you see,  my furbabies are more loyal than any human standing. They protect me when I'm in danger, they comfort me in my time off need, they never leave my side , theres  the difference ,now can you see

The town grew silent as an eerie sound rumbled near
Run, run run fast gather the covers go to the nearest shelter ,
What? No sirens to warn us of the evil whisk of wind that would leave mass destruction on that April night . The ripping and roaring , the sound of a train blowing it's whistle , the ripping off  trees from the ground , like a scene from the wizard of Oz , it's massive force carried houses animals and yes people to , from here to there slinging them in circular motion, this beast had no mercy in my town,. It jumped in one place untouched ground next door, it slung the cars so hard they were sticking in the concrete bridges. My God in Heaven have mercy on us .
Walking , running screaming for lost loved ones, death and destruction offered the sight of a war zone where we were all on the front line and lost something that night.
Trampling over the unseen, the crumbled homes downed trees the bodies of people the sound of sirens the smell of gas the sound of the chainsaws roaring cutting through the rubbles of that remained.
It left my town, home of the crimson Tide, bruised and broken and torn to the soul as we lost so much to the tornado that night
All we had left  now was little to remain.  God bless Tuscaloosa

The town grew silent as an eerie sound rumbled near
Run, run run fast gather the covers go to the nearest shelter ,
What? No sirens to warn us of the evil whisk of wind that would leave mass destruction on that April night . The ripping and roaring , the sound of a train blowing it's whistle , the ripping off  trees from the ground , like a scene from the wizard of Oz , it's massive force carried houses animals and yes people to , from here to there slinging them in circular motion, this beast had no mercy in my town,. It jumped in one place untouched ground next door, it slung the cars so hard they were sticking in the concrete bridges. My God in Heaven have mercy on us .
Walking , running screaming for lost loved ones, death and destruction offered the sight of a war zone where we were all on the front line and lost something that night.
Trampling over the unseen, the crumbled homes downed trees the bodies of people the sound of sirens the smell of gas the sound of the chainsaws roaring cutting through the rubbles of 2hat remained.
It left my town, home of the crimson Tide, bruised and broken and torn to the soul as we lost so much to the tornado that night
All we had left  now was little to remain.  God bless Tuscaloosa
©kimmied1105

My children all the world to me  they make my life worthwhile. No matter what they ask me, I'll go that extra mile
I hear them laugh and see them play.
I watch them grow more everyday.
I thank God for the gifts that he's giving me I give him all my grace
For I don't know what I would do if I couldn't see their beautiful face.
I hope and pray that I succeed to raise  My Baby right.
Oh Lord in heaven I pray to thee please shine on me your Golden Light.
Father give me the strength I might need to go on and forgive.
The pain I felt all the tears that I shed so much for forgiveness I have left to give.
I pray unto you my lord to place this all behind me now.
I've got on with my life to you I give my personal vow.
I vow to love and cherish my babies everyday.
I'll pick them up if they may fall and wipe their precious tears away..