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Apr 13 · 102
Our Community
Kim Essary Apr 13
My heart hurts today for all that’s involved
Our community won’t stop until the cruel crimes you have committed are rightfully solved.
Our furbabies may not can tell all that they know or what you may have put them through
But rest assured for all the evil you have showed your plea of not guilty makes you look like a fool.
We all saw the terrible sick things you inflicted on a living breathing beautiful cat
So claim what you will but at the end of the day a fact is a fact.
You need so much Prayer and to put God in your heart
Givin your current situation now would be a good time to start
I Pray that that ban you from all animals and take your license away
This community of Ozark will never accept you for anything so why don’t you just pack up and go away
For our furbabies we are their voice and in case you couldn’t tell
They are wagging their tales and thanking their humans for never allowing you to again put them through hell.
We are their humans they are our family and deserve to be treated with Love
May God forgive you for all you have put them through and may He show you mercy when He hands down your punishment from the heavens above
Close his doors shut him down
Apr 12 · 185
Love of a furbaby
Kim Essary Apr 12
Dear Humans, I’m sorry to take up your time there’s just a few things I would like to say
But as you all know I can’t speak for myself so my human will speak for me today
Have humans forgotten so many things we as furbabies do
For as long as we live our loyalty belongs to  you
We are your ears while you lay sleeping at night
We are your eyes if you lose your sight
We protect you from all harm
We rustle you’re livestock for you on the farm
We find your loved ones that  have been missing for days
We show you we love you in so many ways
All that we want is to be loved in return
So many things you can teach us cause we love to learn
If you look in our eyes then you will see
We aren’t much different than humans we each have our own personality
Please dont abuse or neglect us just because you can
Always remember there is a purpose a dog is best friend of man.
There is no excuse for animal abuse
Mar 30 · 94
Imagine our World
Kim Essary Mar 30
imagine a world  with less sorrow and pain
Where haters didn’t hate for they had nothing to gain
A place where neighbors knew you by name
Where we could walk proud and not in shame
A world where our laws that were written were followed and applied to us all
A place where when we spoke to someone it was face to face for there were no phones to just pick up and call
A place where we heard and understood what was being spoken or asked
A place where we could breath because we weren’t forced to wear a mask
Imagine a time when the governed law was God Law as well
Imagine our world before we conformed to the Government who put us through hell.
Imagine our world as it use to be now is forever gone
Mar 30 · 89
Embrace of Nature
Kim Essary Mar 30
The wind blowing  ever so softly like a whisper in my ear
The aroma of jasmine and honeysuckle  trickling the sent of sweetness through the air
The sun Shining down forcing a  warmth against my face
Calming my body to relax as I take in the earths embrace
The peaceful sound of silence so welcoming as my lids close over my eyes
I surround my thoughts of the singing birds and flapping wings  of the butterfly’s
Must I wake from the state of mind nature has pulled me into
Peace, serenity and beauty, Gods gift for me and you.
Gods beauty is our fmgift
Mar 30 · 263
Please let her Stay
Kim Essary Mar 30
Today I sit remembering all the memories we made and how we planned to make so many more
I have never lied to you nor will I start today, I am scared as hell of the thought of losing you it rips my heart to the core
You will never know what you mean to me and how much I need you to stay
I have been on my knees Praying that God gives you another day:
You are so much closer to the road you want to be on, I want to see your dreams come true
I want more than anything to have that walk on the beach just me and you:
So see you have to pull through this , there’s no other way
We have so many more memories to make Dear God I’m begging you,  Please let it be your will to let her stay:
I can’t see me doing life without my best friend by my side
Lord I pray to you give her strength through all these tears I have cried :
I know you can make miracles happen so if you have any to spare
Please use it on my best friend Dear God for I don’t know what I would do without her there.
Praying for my best friend to pull through
Mar 30 · 55
My New Friend
Kim Essary Mar 30
I found a new friend today
She’s Beautiful and funny in every way
Her heart is pure and intentions are  good
Only one flaw I have found and that’s she doesn’t give herself as much credit as she should.
She sees things just as they are and not scared to call them out
I wonder if she knows her worth is exactly what a true friend is all about
Her roads have been a struggle but she stands firm in her belief
God sent her to me in the nick of time as we found friendship through grief.
I hope she understands how she touched my heart in so many ways
Most people I meet I’m not concerned if they go away but this one lord is special to me and I pray to you she stays.
To my new and hopefully lifelong new friend   Laura I love you
Jan 23 · 76
You Stole My Heart
Kim Essary Jan 23
I will never forget the day you came into this world
The second you opened your eyes it was love at first sight
They say the love of a grandchild is unlike any other , ide have to say they were right.
Becoming your Mimi on that day changed my life in more than one way
You have brought so much joy to my life I miss watching you run and play
Fifteen years old my time has flown by
So many years I watched you grow and so many more I have missed
When I think of everything I have missed it hurts me deep inside
I just hope that you always know how much I love and miss you
Happy Birthday Mimis baby boy, may all your wishes come true
My first born grandson
Jan 6 · 130
Engraved Words
Kim Essary Jan 6
State of shock transitioned into sadness
Emotions like a clown only there was no smiling only silence of my own thoughts acting as if it were a mime.
Within a split second of his voice speaking to me
I was baffled by my own tongue running words right back but never whispering a sound.
Surely he was just , wait no he wasn’t he was and he did and he said
Words I never dreamed to come from my soul mate,  my best friend my love
Now the torture of my burning heart and my spinning head
Knowing with my every thought I will never forget the hateful things he said
Make them go away
All those hateful words
Once they flow from your lips , they are forever here to stay
It’s not the spitting of words it’s the way they taste of poison when you have to swallow them back.
Dec 2020 · 117
Our World
Kim Essary Dec 2020
Once upon a time in this world that once was,
There was laughter of children playing in the street
Their faces weren’t covered with anything but a smile
Church doors were open for service
Education wasn’t an option as to teach in our homes
We had no social distancing or stand 6 feet apart
We spent our holidays as a family
There were no laws to remove our freedom as it has come to be
For all the generations to come will never experience what life was like when we were the land of the free.
As it speaks for itself
Dec 2020 · 53
Not Lost Only Mistaken
Kim Essary Dec 2020
Searching to find myself assuming I was lost
Reality was no more or no less than my thoughts
I searched far and near only to find I was nowhere near lost only mistaken
Visions of who I am and how I should be
Remained squabbled and tossed inside of me
For the way I wanted and expected my life was the furthest from the way I could see
Atlas now I know I can find my way although I no not to where
I found I was no longer lost , only mistaken
Things aren’t always as they appear
Oct 2020 · 188
Judge Not
Kim Essary Oct 2020
The hurt and sadness coming from your voice is ripping at my heart like a jagged knife ripping through flesh
You are mine to protect and nurture and that box made of steel that you are caged in remains my every nightmare as I sleep and my weakness in my thoughts while I’m awake
A young man with eyes that glisten and a beautiful face of an angel, the heart that’s pure and giving
Yet you made some wrong choices but not deserving to be slammed behind bars in a cold cell and treated like a beast of rage
My expression of fury at my fingertips for if I was evil as they, surely I would cast every sinful spell across their beings and make them feel your pain
**** those that pass yet judgement yet hold no crown of thorns upon their head
For He that cast the first stone let him stand in judgement free of sin
For the Laws of this wicked world all turned to the evils of bribery and political gain as there is no longer a man that sits to hold true to the laws that are written for of the greater the judge feels as though he himself can unwrite and interfere with the laws of our God and pick which laws and sentence for the same crime yet treat them different
Stand with your armor as it isn’t seen my son for is the coming of our dear Lord and savior to be the punishers And the  Judge of the wickedness that per-trays to call themself some part of Law and Order as Our God is so much Greater as they will soon see.
There is no rightful judicial system left remaining in this world
Oct 2020 · 213
Loves Armor
Kim Essary Oct 2020
If Love were a battle which side would you choose
For one Side will claim victory  and the other side shall lose
As one side puts trust in armor to protect and shield their heart
As the opposite side wears nothing but trust and faith  as the battle is to start
Arrows begin to sore bouncing from the hearts wearing armor made of steel
Others left wounded and scarred of the ones they don’t ****
Love Will never be felt by the ones left without injury  and walked away
But the ones that had trust and faith   That let down their guard will find true love one day
If you never let down your guard for fear of being hurt you may never feel true love
Oct 2020 · 220
Wings of an Angel
Kim Essary Oct 2020
As this day rains tears amongst his family and friends
This very same day your precious daddy’s eternal life begins
To know him was to love him he’s left so many memories of a great man behind
A man of God , A great father and grandfather, a loving husband , and to all he knew , so generous and kind
Life holds no promise as to when the Good Lord says it’s our time to go
Cherish every second you are given  for you never know
“Don’t cry tears of sadness for me as you lay me to rest, be at peace and rejoice for me for as I walked through the gates of heaven down the streets made of Gold my pain was gone no worries in my head as The Lord placed beautiful wings on my shoulders and a halo above my head. Now I can still watch over each of you until  we meet again one day
You may not can see me but  I’m never far away. “
As you gather around my grave don’t say your last goodbye, say i will see you later before you turn to walk away,
Let my passing be instead a reminder of how precious life is because we never no if today will be your last day.
Dedicated to my dear sweet friend Beckey   As she lays her daddy to rest
Sep 2020 · 48
Our Sons
Kim Essary Sep 2020
God must have had a plan when He allowed our paths to cross
I never imagined another feeling my pain and having so much loss
Through so much in such little time we’ve been knocked down and got back up again
We’ve stood against the system and for what we believe in
I honestly thought we had won the war when they set your son free
Now I sit here in disbelief for your son has turned against you and the system has taken mine from me
I’ve watched you endure way to much pain
All we both wanted was to show our sons there is sunshine between the rain
I’m not real sure where we went wrong
Talked to and treated like were nobody and made to feel like we didn’t belong
Sadness pours upon my heart like a wounded soldier lost his war
Now a glimpse of reality spins Around in my head  leaving the thought of I should have done more
I’m so sorry for the hurt in your heart I wish I could make it go away
I feel you pain and know how bad it hurts you Every single day
I will never understand how loving your child and wanting them to live right
Was reason enough to be treated this way, how they didn’t even care where we laid our head at night
I’ve watched you live out of a shop that wasn’t fit to live
When a few miles away your only son has a home but not a care did he give
Being treated like the enemy when all we wanted for them was the best
We’ve exhausted all of our efforts now it’s time For us  to rest
I hope and Pray we live to see the day when our boys realize we only meant them well
But until that day comes all we can do is pray and only time will tell.
To my ride or die Colleen
Aug 2020 · 64
Kim Essary Aug 2020
‘‘Tis not the thought of death I’m frightened
Yet how death captures life like a thief in the night I’m more afraid
Sadly as age and years of hard life have crept up on me
Time no longer my friend
For born into this world we have yet only two certainty’s
As one which is life given where the other is death to follow
Where we have life we have also death
Aug 2020 · 167
Color Blind
Kim Essary Aug 2020
This Nation in which we live founded United as One
Built from the bricks of the hero’s stood proudly on display
Monuments and statues to represent where our freedom had begun
This Country has shed blood of soldiers sent to war
Whispers of disgust now wondering what it was all for
Was it to watch as a bunch of thugs burn our buildings and tear our history down
To vandalize the cemeteries of our heroes laid to rest beneath the ground
The screams of chanting black life matters in our street
Don’t they know all LIFES matter even you and me
This discrimination and hatred we are allowing is beyond belief
The things our ancestors did isn’t for us to be blamed
We of all races colors and religion have battled somewhere at some time in this life we live that will never excuse our history and the land our fore fathers founded to be torn to pieces and changed because it isn’t liked.
Strange how the people have lived every day since then just like me
Yet today they have forgotten they remain to live in the land of the free
God be with your people in this time of need
Aug 2020 · 92
Kim Essary Aug 2020
Days fall upon a broken soul bringing darkness before the night
Consuming ones mind leaving no filter to distinguish wrong from right.
Voices from a place unknown with breath of stagnate smoke whispering in their ear
Placing upon their victim evil thoughts of fear
Appearing from behind the shell of their remains
For when unveiling their face hollow eyes is what you see with a trail of tear drop stains
Hiding in every corner and trusting no one
Forgetting  how to live  staying on the run
The pain and sadness overtook everything you once were and anything you ever wanted to be , you allowed the drug to poison you now may you
Rest In Peace
My friends addiction too toxic for him to handle now consumed his life
Aug 2020 · 65
Oceans are magical
Kim Essary Aug 2020
A place that ignites the aroma of a salty kiss filled with romance and love are of the white glistening beaches of the oceans edge
Lovers from near and far embrace their love with the waves of the water sounds through the beats of their hearts
There remains something so magical  and unknown from the depths of those never touched ocean floors yet in the air the feeling it brings
The soft wind always blowing through your hair with a hint of sand touching your face and the waves wet your feet
You draw in the sand a heart filled with your names and watch as a wave surfs in and carries it to sea
What a divine intervention the ocean can be
Such a romantic sight to see
Jul 2020 · 106
Lost Friend
Kim Essary Jul 2020
Her words of inspiration she speaks with her pen
My heart worries of her absence and Longs  to see her amongst us again
The friend I found in her is so very special and rare
I Pray that she knows how much we all care.
It’s been five long months since she has reached out to me
I miss her advise and encouragement you see
This woman my eyes have never seen or voice I’ve never heard, became one of my dearest most cherished friends
Kim Johanna Baker, I pray that you know how much you are loved before you time on this earth ends
If you can read this but are to Ill to respond
I thank you for all your words that have touched my soul and for a sister like bond
I know your spirits were darkened by so many things out of your control
There is not nor will there ever be a more loving, caring woman with an angelic soul.
If anyone on Hp has heard from or has a way of finding out if our dearest Kim is ok please let me know.
Jun 2020 · 118
Death did we part
Kim Essary Jun 2020
My body went numb the moment you took your last breath
I tried so hard to feel you yet felt only death
It was a feeling I had never felt before
Silence had filled my existence as I slowly knelt to the floor
I screamed out for you but you never replied
I knew in my heart the moment you died
I wanted to save you from all the thoughts in your head
But you turned away from me instead
What am I to do now that you are gone
Where do I go when there’s nowhere I belong
I want to wake up from this terrible nightmare
Reaching to touch you but you aren’t there
How do I go on without you here with me
What will I tell our little girl when she asks me where her daddy could be
We didn’t plan things to end this way
My only sanity is knowing that we will see you again some day.
Written for a very special friend about the passing of her husband which also was a special friend
Jun 2020 · 70
Silence Screams
Kim Essary Jun 2020
The heart that’s filled with silence fills the soul with saddened screams
Screams muffled through the confusion Of loss and what it means
Description of all emotions wrapped like a blanket to keep warm from the cold
Trying to keep free from insanity is like keeping the young from growing old
Losing someone you love to death has the closure of a goodbye
Losing someone you love that is alive but you will never see again
leaves you always wondering why
Locked behind those bars where I can’t get to you or protect you from the unknown
I may never lay my eyes on your precious face again as you’ve left me again all alone
Two beautiful angels stand and want for you and need you to see them grow.
I’ll never get to be in their life now I’m just another Mimi my granddaughters will never know.
The sentence handed to you they will hand to me as well
For your absence has placed a void in me i can only describe as a silent yell.
I feel your sadness and hear you calling out my name
The hurt knowing I may have lost you forever leaves me with regret and so much blame
I sit and stare from my window with nothing but broken dreams
Knowing the loss of my sanity will only be my silent screams
So much sadness and hurt it can only be written not spoke
May 2020 · 129
Mother Nature’s Wonders
Kim Essary May 2020
Peering from my window as the Heavens begin to leak
Trickles form a raindrop sliding slowly out of sight
Such an amazing sense of wonder this thing we call rain
Where is it that it comes from as I see no end in the sky
As such a wetness falls upon us and into the ground to dry
Is it the angels crying tears, no this can’t be
For there is no pain or sorrow just love and happiness of a place open and free
Where does the rain fall from as the clouds appear to be fluffy and bright
And why is it with the rain comes thunder and lightening Roaring with all its might
Such a mysterious force of nature or An act of God per say
The floors of heaven will open and wet Gods land today
Mother nature’s mystery
May 2020 · 77
Painted Smile
Kim Essary May 2020
So young and beautiful yet you wear a painted smile
The sadness you hold inside of you and have been hiding for a while
Yet you have hid it from the world and wore a painted smile
I feel your pain sharp like knives stabbing at you one by one
If I could could change things you know I would for the pain you feel I know is because you are so in love with my son.
You would give your heart and soul to him if only he would commit
But his life has thrown him so much it’s hard for him to quit
He calls on you in his time of despair
Because he knows far to well how much you care.
I want to be angry for the way he has done and pushed you to the side
But baby girl I believe in my heart he is protecting you and setting down his pride.
Cherish every little hug and kiss he’s given you
It’s harder for him to walk away and keep a friend that’s true
Just know what’s meant to be will be
No matter which way it goes I will love you know less you will always mean the world to me
My sweet Cami
May 2020 · 66
The Journey
Kim Essary May 2020
Loneliness of the heart is much like a tumbleweed in the desert blowing  every direction the wind should carry it
Like a puppet without strings not knowing or having guidance as to its next move
The choices made are easily made but not so easy to retract
It would take more than true love to teach a broken heart how to act
Longing for completion in this life given to you
Is like chasing the rainbow to find the *** of gold
The journey is never ending with roads winding to and from
Carrying on down one hill to climb the mountain once again
Exhausted from your travels of chasing a rainbow to find no end
Life is all about where things come to an end, another beginning awaits you to begin
The Journey
May 2020 · 296
Kim Essary May 2020
Family is so much more than the branches bending from a family tree
Blood may relate you but there’s more to a family like love and loyalty
They say blood is thicker than water this may be true
Though I’ve bared witness to blood clotting where water flowed straight through
As blood flows through your vanes it’s color is blue yet when you see it the color is red
I think Ile stick with the water that stays the same instead
I’ve learned in my life that family is what you make it Nd is usually opposite of what it’s supposed to be
May 2020 · 169
My Worth
Kim Essary May 2020
We cherish our memories of things from our past
Often running them through our minds wondering why things couldn’t last
Why promises made of a forever love were all broken
To carry the pain of knowing they were simply words spoken
No meaning behind them no truth did they tell
Your lies have haunted me and drug me through hell
I’ve grown so much in this time you’ve been away
Never losing hope when you came back to me you were here to stay
That wasn’t the case as I had wished
You have no regrets for the time you have missed
You took for granted not only my heart
But this little girl you claimed to love from the start
It’s so hard for me to say goodbye
But you have broken my heart with no reason why
Keep your empty promises and those words that you speak
My worth is much more than a man that has become so weak.
It will be hard I know this is true
But I’ve come to realize I miss myself so much more than I miss you
Dedicated with love to my soul sister
Shannon Rittenhouse
May you always love yourself and know your self worth above all
May 2020 · 124
Kim Essary May 2020
Alone in the morning and even at night is how she lives her life
The days of her life have crept up on her tired broken soul, as she scoots off her bedside, with pain in her body stabbing like a knife
For many years there hasn’t been one day she hasn’t felt like giving up her fight
But the way she was raised and the woman she had become, giving up wouldn’t be right
Yet she wondered oh so often just what it was she was fighting for
For her body had all but given in to pain and the ones she loved didn’t seem to love her anymore
Tears all but consumed her once gleaming eyes
For the only thing gleaming in her eyes now are the tears when she cries
She will leave this earth with many unanswered questions in her mind
When she’s no longer here she wonders of the memories she will leave behind
Was she something so awful to be treated so bad
She will leave this earth with her heart broken and sad.
Being alone is lonely enough but being alone in the presence of another is so much worse
May 2020 · 95
Love Is
Kim Essary May 2020
The most wonderful of all things in life,I believe,is the discovery of another human being with  whom one's relationship has a growing depth,beauty,& joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two persons is a most marvelous thing. It cant be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it, it is a sort of divine accident, & one of the most wonderful of all things in life!
However the human heart is so easily deceived by the promising words used so easily and embarked on another’s heart so heavily.
Love and all of its purpose , to be cherished and held sacred not abused and held hostage
Love shouldn’t be confused with habit nor possession or obsession
Love is pure and simple Love
Love is so often confused by habit
Apr 2020 · 163
Kim Essary Apr 2020
So it is said  that God gives His greatest battles to His strongest soldiers for He won’t put more on you than you can handle.
Have Faith in Him for when you reach the end of a road He will guide your path and when your life sees only dark He will shine on you the light of a candle
There are some that don’t believe in our Lord and savior only because He isn’t visible to see
So Am I  to believe the blind man whom has no sight Has nothing to believe in for there’s nothing that could be.
‘Tis Faith in which you feel and know that you believe
Without faith that God is real, everlasting life and forgiveness you will not receive
For when your loved one is sick and death is near
Is it not the Lord you Pray to in your time of despair.
In your time of tragedy and discernment you say His name
Yet forget to praise him and worship him just the same.
Our world has become just as our bibles does say.
This Gods Children is the time to find your faith and bow your heads to our Lord and savior and pray
Believe in Him , Pray to him to be your Savior and He Salk repair our lands and heal our sick.
Apr 2020 · 1.5k
Kim Essary Apr 2020
As these days pass a sense of overwhelming reality is beginning to set amongst ALL of Gods Children. The fearless are beginning to have fear, The rich are beginning to feel the poor, The poor are becoming more poverty stricken. Once Optimistic people are now experiencing pessimism, Our Health Care Workers are having to make a decision, one that is the hardest in their life, Only the warriors and loving and caring of those will choose life for all but have to sacrifice and pray that they save lives and aren’t putting their families they go home to in any danger to make them sick. As their immune systems are built too be strong with facing sick patients every day. Their families immune system however is not. The Leaders, and the bosses, that never realized the value of their underpaid employee  until they witness them on the front line standing at their cash register to keep their very own families able to continue to buy groceries as well as all of ours too. The owners of businesses have all taken steps back and watched as their life dream, to support their families  quickly turned into a broken dream as they couldn’t afford closing their doors for one day that alone an indefinite amount of time. Our children that were never taught to Pray or believe in God, they are teaching their parents the importance of their salvation today. The parent that had forgotten the role of parenting are being made to protect their children, but this pandemic is far different than protection from a robber or a car accident or a fight or any act of violence , for atleast with those types of protection we know where the attacker is or can get them to a hospital if they are injured but we are faced with the fact that we can’t protect them against something we don’t know is present, it can’t be seen, there is no warning, and when we realize it has attacked , it’s already to late , it has taken over. Keep your self and your children home if you can. Love today people , like there is no tomorrow   Pray for God to restore our Land and for this pandemic to stop.  Give thanks to the people that have become our heroes because they didn’t sign up for our military to fight wars but let me tell you this , those heroes are fighting on the front line and looking the possibility of death in the face every  shift they pull, those people may not carry weapons but bet this , they are fighting the biggest most important war this world is yet to see   Stay safe and God bless   Thank you to my daughter, , (RN) in an emergency department.  My step daughter, front desk receptionist at a Dr office. And other step daughter, Receptionist for an optometrist, all of which still maintain their position on front line daily I love each of you very much
God Bless this world and restore our land
Feb 2020 · 193
Kim Essary Feb 2020
Your tears of sadness and uncertainty pour like rain on my heart.
Wanting so much to mend what others have torn apart.
Keep your head up, love yourself and God above all.
For as long as I'm still breathing, rest assure I will be there to pick you up if you should fall.
This is your life to live so live it as you choose.
You will make mistakes along the waybut that doesn't mean you lose.
You will travel many roads some of them a dead end.
Dont give up turn around rid yourself of everything and everyone in your life that's pretend .
One day you will look back and remember all the roads you traveled, all the dead ends, all the times you turned around,
Don't be ashamed of your story , look in the mirror and be proud of that woman all those roads found.

I'm always here for you

Written by

Kim Essary
Feb 2020 · 105
Kim Essary Feb 2020
I long to write of happiness, joyous days and mindful bliss.
My pen however flows of truth, each word written silently.
It tells a story of sadness how The tunnels of this life have confined me
Blinded walking in disbelief how I've allowed the people I love cause me so much pain.
Living yet never learning I only have myself to blame.
The sacrifices, the tears I've shed over things in which were out of my hands
I've confined myself in this tunnel by granting others demands
For now it is I have nothing left to give
My strength has grown weak, my life seems to have lost purpose as to even want to live .
I will always wonder what it's like to have someone to turn to in my times of hurt and despair.
For Everytime I was needed you turned around and I was there.

Written by
Kim Essary
Words spoken teue
Feb 2020 · 1.5k
The End of Addiction
Kim Essary Feb 2020
Reaching out to catch you and save you from the fall
so many times I caught you and warned you of that wall.
I’m holding onto you in every possible way
Overpowered by your strength I’m begging you to stay
My eyes are pouring tears as I watch you try to cross a weak and broken bridge
Where I’ve seen too many fall from the never returning edge
As the waters run rapid like a raging beast below your feet
Waters so powerful even you cannot defeat
This is the place I’ve warned you of so many times before
The place where I can’t save you anymore
Your ears have grown deaf to me as your eyes have turned from blue to black
The devil of addiction has taken you as I fight to get you back
Addiction is real but it affects more than just the addict.
Feb 2020 · 101
Life’s Ride
Kim Essary Feb 2020
I’ve believed in you and all of your lies
I know I’m only a victim of my own demise
For every time you ever let me down, I have forgiven you,
I spent every minute of every day trying to see you through
I’ve begged and pleaded for you to live your life right
The only time your ears listen to me is when I’m all you have out here to even put up a fight
My struggles run deep through me as I have to ask myself why
Why is it I fight so hard for your freedom when you’re free you don’t even try
This gangster mentality you have taken on to be
Is only a mask to hide your pain and fear thinking nobody can see
I wish you could see or even care how your actions hurt more than you
They take more of my life every day and will some day effect your children too
Your words you speak are full of hate you have no respect or remorse
I’m afraid you will regret these things if you don’t change and get back on coarse
I taught you manners and respect I raised you not to steel or lie and try to do what’s right
You’ve come to a crossroad in your life when you’re hanging on by a string tied by a knot but not so tight
I pray if your given this last chance you understand what waits for you if you go down the wrong road
For next time son this ride I’ve rode with you I won’t ride again, you will carry your own load
All I know to do is pray
Dec 2019 · 162
My Twin
Kim Essary Dec 2019
God gives a mother the gift of a child to love and nurture all the days through
A boy or a girl but only one, yet he blessed our mother with two.
We came into this world on the very same day
Identical twins, just alike in every way.
We spent our days together in all that we would do.
My life isn’t the same here on earth without you.
I see you in my mirror and every picture that I take
I miss your smile and the funny faces we would make.
I know one day I will see you face to face again.
Happy Birthday My best friend, my sister my angel my twin.
I will see you today when I walk outside in the sun
For when I look beside me at my silhouette it reminds me there are two of us never just one.
Dedicated to Sara and Samantha love forever Kim
Nov 2019 · 213
He Doesn’t know
Kim Essary Nov 2019
One moment she lays watching his innocence glow across his soft little cheeks as he nestles closely beside her and falls quickly asleep.
She has lost so much more than she has gained in this life
As her body has grown weak and sickness overtakes her yet her will to go on still fights within her.
Once it was pills she took to keep her going or so she thought not knowing it was the pills that was killing her
Thoughts of giving up the fight often entered her tired soul as she fought  through her pain often times she wondered where she gained her strength and will to fight.
She held on to hope for the ones that had left her as thoughts of them returning were fading away
That little boy that lay nestled beside her and the man that she loves was the medicine she needed to fight for one more day.
Just as the others had gone now so did he
Now she lays all alone , no more bedtime prayers or supper at the table
No more knowing he’s sneaking behind me with a smile on his face thinking I can’t see him rushing to my bed to sleep.
He has no clue how much he means to me and how that precious little boy has kept his mawmaw alive just knowing she was with him almost every day.
My grandson was my medicine to get through my days. Now I don’t get to see him because his mom moved away.
Nov 2019 · 134
The Eyes Decieve you
Kim Essary Nov 2019
It’s not always the things of this world that we may want that are the things we need.
Like the beautiful flowers we buy already in bloom when we could have witnessed the beauty of their growth by planting their seed.
Our eyes trick us into perfection of what we see
As our minds are trained to look at the here and now, not what it may some day be.  
We are human so we will make our share of mistakes and wrong choices along the way.
Admitting them is easier to know than it is to say.
Would our choices in this world be the same without eyes
We would then have to base our choice off of truth with no disguise.
The world would be a better place without seeing pretty my friend,
We would be forced to see more than face value and the beauty within.
If the world couldn’t see what then would we judge
Nov 2019 · 174
Kim Essary Nov 2019
You’ve denied my presence and thrown mex

Nov 2019 · 216
Sad Truth
Kim Essary Nov 2019
In this world in which we live just to barely survive
A world filled with hate, anger and selfish demise
To exhibit such beastly manners with no self respect
With lacking in morals and standards what else do we expect.
No discipline to teach right from wrong
Nothing more to seperate the weak from the strong
No plans to be made or goals left to reach
The children have no control and too unruly to teach.
A world where we are born a boy or a girl no longer exists
For now you can change your own ***
We run around worried that we might end up in hell
I say hell is what we are living now can you not tell
So sad but true
Kim Essary Nov 2019
How can it be that my heart aches for someone I’ve never met yet feel as if I’ve known forever.  
It’s as if our souls are attached through words typed and traveled all the way across the sea .
What is this, is it real, can it even be?
My friend lays in her bed only to await her journey to end.
As these thoughts race me to tears of the thought of her gone yet we have never even met
What is this, is it real, can it even be
A gut wrenching sadness that won’t go away, it’s as if I see her eyes I’ve never even seen and can feel her pain and her sadness as she lay in her bed to meet her fate,
What of such a force that is between us could allow this bond of two lives yet my eyes have never met her existence nor hers have met mine
What is this, is it real, can it even be,
Is this woman from across the sea my angel or am I to be hers, for we share so much likeness in our lives and things of our past and agree of things of this world most know nothing about,
Whatever it is or how it was meant to be I feel her in my heart and know she feels me
Whatever it may be it is more than real until we meet one day, I will always love you my friend across the sea.
This poem is the second I’ve written and Dedicated to A woman I met here on Hp one we can all agree is a loving soul with words that inspire all she knows. This woman is an inspiration to me  I Love You. My Dear Friend, Kim Johanna Baker
Oct 2019 · 228
free almost a year
Kim Essary Oct 2019
It’s been almost a year since you were set free
So much has changed between you and me.
It’s so hard for me to believe all we’ve been through.
This wasn’t supposed to happen to me and you.
My partner forever , my ride or die
You have treated me so badly and I don’t know why.
I wanted so much for your life to turn around.
To be a good daddy to Your little girl and keep her safe and sound.
I hope and Pray you never have to feel this pain I’ve had to endure
I’ve made my mistakes but I’ve remained by your side loyal and pure
I didn’t deserve all the hateful things you said
Why would you ever wish your own mother dead
But through it all I still love you the same
My only son it’s time to be a man and take your own blame
I didn’t teach you to live this way
I taught you a real man earns his money the honest way
Dear God I come to you down on my knees
Help my son lead him the way have mercy on him oh dear god I pray unto you Please. Amen
Prayers are much welcome
Oct 2019 · 88
Kim Essary Oct 2019
Serenade me the words of your song
Sound it as though your voice to be strong
Capture me to imagine a life with no fear
Sing to me of truth to know you are near
Sing to me of hope yet unseen
Sing to me a royal proposal to make me your queen
Sing me to you as I follow your voice
When your song brings us together we shall sing and rejoice
Singing can heal your soul
Oct 2019 · 153
Kim Essary Oct 2019
Have you no manners your words full of hate and actions unruly.
Tearing others down and being a bully.
You choose your victims by what your eyes Can see
It’s what’s on the inside so much pain waiting to be set free.
You don’t know their struggles and yet still don’t care
Bullying is no game so please be aware.
Your words one day could very well be the push over the edge
Mr Bully was their life worth the jump off the ledge
You don’t have to hurt others to stand tall
You would have been more the hero if you saved them from their fall
I hope it was worth it all the cruel things that you said
Mr bully he can’t hear your words anymore you hurt him so badly now he is dead
Bullying is a sickness and needs to be addressed so many young taking their own life because they were bullied.
Sep 2019 · 105
Kim Essary Sep 2019
Your tears of sadness and uncertainty pour like rain on my heart.
Wanting so much to mend what others have torn apart.
Keep your head up, love yourself and God above all.
For as long as I'm still breathing, rest assure I will be there to pick you up if you should fall.
This is your life to live so live it as you choose.
You will make mistakes along the waybut that doesn't mean you lose.
You will travel many roads some of them a dead end.
Dont give up turn around rid yourself of everything and everyone in your life that's pretend .
One day you will look back and remember all the roads you traveled, all the dead ends, all the times you turned around,
Don't be ashamed of your story , look in the mirror and be proud of that woman all those roads found.
I'm always here for you
Sep 2019 · 113
Kim Essary Sep 2019
Learning more with every passing day, feeling more like I don't belong.
Something I dreamed to be so right has become ever so wrong.
Remembering all the hurt and pain I've been through in my past
Now added the reality that even dreams don't last.
Finding that place of belonging is few and far between.
Aug 2019 · 253
Kim Essary Aug 2019
Your ears are foolish to believe every word thought to be heard
Your eyes hold trickery as to what they think they really see.
Things of the past you may have forgotten,
So they should remain forgotten instead of manifesting only what you hear of negativity,
For if you fall in the darkness where might you find the light.
Foolishness is upon you as you act upon things you no not of .
Such things, self proclaimed rumors, lies spit from the devil's tongue.
Rumors are:
Spoken by liars
Spread by Idiots and
Believed by Fools.
The story is told to one and misconstrued by the rest.
Jul 2019 · 339
Kim Essary Jul 2019
Days of my life, most filled with pain.
Days where there's little sunshine, to see through the rain.
There are days when only my lonely whispers my name.
Some days I lay crying accepting my blame .
Days when Im sad for no reason at all
Days when silence fills these walls.
Through it all I still find strength  to Give God His Praise.
I will keep my faith and continue to Pray for God to send me  better days .
Although life seems so gloom I am very blessed to have been given each day I wake.
Apr 2019 · 153
Remember Me One Day
Kim Essary Apr 2019
From the moment I saw you it was love at first sight .
I held you in my arms and cuddled you tight.
Your hair a soft glow of  brown,
With little curls softly falling down.
Your eyes angelic as they turned emorald green
Oh and that smile , the most precious smile I had ever seen.
I watched you grow into your own little you.
One of a kind a little mischievious too
The years flew by in what seemed to be in the blink of an eye
I taught you manners, morals, honesty and respect.
For all through your life these are things you should never forget.
I taught you to crawl and how to talk
I taught you to stand before you could walk .
I picked you up when you would fall down
I wiped your tears away and made you smile instead of frown.
You brought so much joy to me you made my life full.
Before I knew it you were headed to school .
I could go on forever with each year that's past
I just wish they hadn't all flown by so fast.
I miss your hugs and your kisses too
I miss my baby boy this I know is true.
I don't know what happened or where I went wrong
I just know you  left me and have been gone to long .
Lord I'm nothing without him I'm empty inside.
I wish more than anything he could see the tears I have cried.
He and his sister have turned their backs on me.
They were my reason for living you see
Now all that's left are the memories they must have forgot.
All the struggles and sacrifices, hopefully they will not forget all the things I taught.
The sky above me has turned to grey it use to be so blue.
I have failed as a mother to your sister and you.
You made me a promise you would be out to take care of me one day.
I never dreamed out of anyone that you would be the one to walk away.
The End
Apr 2019 · 171
Kim Essary Apr 2019
I long to write of happiness, joyous days and mindful bliss.
My pen however flows of truth, each word written silently.
It tells a story of sadness how The tunnels of this life have confined me
Blinded walking in disbelief how I've allowed the people I love cause me so much pain.
Living yet never learning I only have myself to blame.
The sacrifices, the tears I've shed over things in which were out of my hands
I've confined myself in this tunnel by granting others demands
For now it is I have nothing left to give
My strength has grown weak, my life seems to have lost purpose as to even want to live .
I will always wonder what it's like to have someone to turn to in my times of hurt and despair.
For Everytime I was needed you turned around and I was there.
Don't take for granted the ones that stand by your side
Apr 2019 · 108
The End
Kim Essary Apr 2019
I can't see through my eyes as these tears are blinding..
I can't breath through all my wheeping
I try to feel but my body is so numb..
I can't find the strength to stand as my legs are shaking
I want to help but my heart has been left to shredded pieces not able to be mended.
I try to speak but I can't find the words needed to be spoken.
My thoughts race as I try to picture what your future holds now,
I have begged and pleaded, been emotionally abused and used. I have given all I had down to my last dollar.
Where does it stop how does it end, when will you listen and live a good life.
Wasn't three years of your life enough to live behind those prison walls?
Is this too much for a mother to ask, as there's no promise of tomorrow, what if I were to die to day my precious son, please ask of yourself ,
Could you live with that.
Nothing more to say but the sadness of my words.
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