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137 · Mar 23
iyak
lua Mar 23
bawat na tibok ng puso'y umaagos ang luha
sa mga matang bukas,
nakikita ang ilaw ng kadiliman
at ang pagbuhos ng tubig galing sa langit
na tila umiiyak din.
136 · Oct 2019
goodbye
lua Oct 2019
there are some people in the world
who we forget to say goodbye to
even if its simply going to school
or to work
to the moment their body lays limp on their deathbed
a simple "bye"
or a "see you later"
would suffice

if you can say hello
you can say goodbye.
before it's too late
130 · Nov 2019
The Weight of the Skies
lua Nov 2019
I feel the weight of the skies rest upon my shoulder blades
And the burn and stretch of the meat beneath my skin
As I carry it, sweat rolls down my temples
And I walk an endless winding path

I look up and I see you
Sitting on your high throne
Cackling like the mighty claps of thunder
Voice bleeding into the world’s innermost core
Shaking the ground beneath me
As if to taunt me
To mock my ever wobbling knees
To tell me “This is what you deserve!”
I weaken
I fall

My body limps and meets the darkened soil with a loud thud
A sound that rippled through the atmosphere as I wither away
The skies collapse
Breaking and shattering into thousands, millions of glass shards
Showering the earth like rainfall
A reminder of my defeat
Of the weakness I possessed
Of the weight of it all.
inspired by the myth of the titan atlas
130 · Sep 2019
Fall
lua Sep 2019
I'm an Icarus in the sky
Leave me to fall
I know what I've done
I flew too close
But it had called my name
Chanted it
Sung it, like a song
And I knew I had to
I knew its rays would burn the flesh of my body
But I'll bathe in them
For the only thing I want to feel when I die
Is the warmth of the sun
Against my skin.
inspired by the greek myth of icarus, son of daedalus.
126 · Oct 2019
i don't want to die
lua Oct 2019
i don't want to die, not yet at least
but the world is eating itself from the inside
and i feel your fingers slipping away from my grasp
the dogs are barking, their howls resonating in my head
bouncing off the walls of my subconscious
like sirens, a sign
a sign of the end of times
one that all should know of
when the waters begin to swallow nations whole
when the fires begin to devour the earth
when the earth freezes over and shatters, drifting across the solar system
when the earth burns to nothing but ash—

—"but i don't want to die"

i'll take what you said to the grave
even if its the last thing i'll ever hold on to.
(2)
125 · Mar 20
Lions' Den
lua Mar 20
Of midnight dreary and starlight’s end
Singing gentle tunes in the lions’ den
Each growl muddled with a lonely saint’s cry
Drinking in the sorrows of sinners who’ve died
I pray to a dead god, an exploding star in the night
The words overflow, thick and bright
Like blood in my veins, like roses in the summer
It reaches out to me with its cold, bluing fingers
A lion roars, they wither, they die
And in seconds, ever wondrous, they breathe life
I see this, I scream, I shout, I cry out
I say, Take me out
Take me out!
Take me out!
Give me the thing I’ve yearned for
The thing that my heart aches for!
The thing that I crave!
S e t   t h i s   d e n   a b l a z e
123 · Oct 2019
Underworld
lua Oct 2019
I saw you in the underworld when the earth collapsed

The incendiary skies burned bright;
Burning
And I saw you beneath its scorching glare
Standing by the banks of the river Styx
Your supple skin marred and stained
By soot and mud from below your feet
And burnmarks;
I know not where you got them

I called your name
Shouted it
Screamed it
But you did not hear me
You did not listen
Simply stared off into the distance
Body glowing, body burning
World glowing, world burning
Burning
Flaming
Ablaze.

(I never saw you again)
(4)
117 · Sep 2019
The First Swing
lua Sep 2019
The blade shone in the sun's rays
My breathing was stuttered and frantic
My body shivered and trembled
Shaking and quivered
I could taste the blood on my tongue
And feel the ache
The throbbing of my heart
The churning of my stomach with fear
I see the way your grip tightens with every beat of your heart
You watched me
I watched you
We both take a stance




I listen to your prayers
Prayers to the sun
You asked for guidance




I take the first swing




And I take the last.
taken from my original story
115 · Apr 2
give me your all
lua Apr 2
give me your all
every lick of sweat that rolls off your body
every clever word and cunning comeback that you utter
every pretty sound that escapes from your parted lips
every hazy gaze between your lidded eyes
every hair that stands on end when i whisper into your flesh
every thought you think
every action you do
your skin is mine and mine alone
your heart is mine and mine alone
you are mine and mine alone
give me your all.
113 · Feb 24
Untitled
lua Feb 24
i miss feeling like i never cared
as if life was merely something id get to experience when im older
but the reality sinks
and hits me in the face
and now im having a mid life crisis during my teen years
and the desire to die makes me high and low at the same time
to the point where i can't distinguish what's real or not
it's a wonderful day
a wonderful day
a wonderful
a wonder

i wonder.
109 · 5d
just a ghost
lua 5d
there's nothing i love more in the world than time alone with myself
but lately it feels like im talking to my reflection
my reflection that doesn't even look me in the eye
and it's an infinite loop of meaningless conversations
unanswered questions
and replies left unsaid
as the days blend in to each other
i don't even know what day it is
i don't even know what time it is
or how many days have passed by
or why the world seems so bright and hot
but i find myself curled up into a ball
shivering for god knows how long

i'm just a ghost, eating up boredom and fear
trying to pass the time.
until no time is left at all
and it all comes undone
crashing down into nothing but a hostless husk.

(reference to another poem of mine called Passing Time!)
109 · Apr 22
collector's item
lua Apr 22
she was a doll strung together with elastic
and her skin was of the finest china
smooth, crafted with the highest of care
and not a scratch to disturb her perfection
beneath her porcelain flesh
are bones of malleable gold
soft to the touch
expensive

truly,
she was not just any collector's item.
100 · Mar 31
An Angel
lua Mar 31
The angel returned
It had enclosed me in its fiery embrace
And burned through me
With a thousand incendiary gazes
From a thousand eyes
That as if spoke to me whispers I could not hear
In tongues I could not comprehend or understand
But I did not quiver in fear of the flames
As they cradled me in a familiar warmth
Even as the flames grew brighter
And I felt my skin drip off my bones
Into the nothingness below me

The angel disappeared again.
(2)
94 · May 10
a glimpse
lua May 10
the moon pushes and pulls
with the ocean waves
of ebbing tides
and the swell of seawater
as it flows towards itself in blue and white curls
repetitive
hungry for anything
swallowing and devouring
deep beneath the surface;
a disturbance
yet captivating
tantalising in a way
like hypnosis
a dance which the sun can only dream of watching
as it clings on to the horizon
for a glimpse.
92 · Sep 2019
Summer is like a dream
lua Sep 2019
Summer is like a dream
The one without the chill of winter winds
Or the pretty oranges and browns of autumn leaves that fall unto the earth
Where the flowers bloom and bees a-buzzing along
Yes, summer is like a dream
A dream where the sun reaches into places that's never seen the sun before
The smell of roses in the heat is sweet
The feeling of sweat rolling down my cheeks reminds me of my youth
The floaty dresses, the loose pants
The sunglasses and widebrimmed hats
And all the picnics under the shade of cool trees
I still taste the taste of peaches on my tongue
And feel the feeling of the dirt and grass beneath my palms
The gentle strum of a guitar during a scorching hot night
The tender breeze against my skin, I can still feel it
Everything is foreign and all too familiar at the same time
Because summer is like a dream.
90 · Mar 31
An Angel
lua Mar 31
An angel came to me in a dream once
An angel with a thousand eyes
And it glowed like a thousand suns
A pulsating heat
A fluctuating fire that burned everything in reach
When it spoke
A wave had washed over my body
Drenching me
Drowning me in a feeling I did not understand
It had asked me what my name was
And when I answered
It disappeared.
(1)
89 · Mar 8
return
lua Mar 8
i can take the pictures down
and place them in a box
i'll seal it with tape
and i'll keep it in the attic
until you return.
i know you won't but i like to think you will
88 · Mar 23
gising
lua Mar 23
ang pawis na tumutulo sa aking pisngi
tumutulo sa aking mukha
tuwing kumakanta
sa ilalim ng tinding init ng araw
hinihintay ang sikat ng buwan sa gabi
at nananaginip habang gising.
88 · Feb 13
Untitled
lua Feb 13
she was just the shadow of a memory
dancing in the night
a faded silhouette
88 · Mar 10
runaway
lua Mar 10
the fires told me to run
they shook me from my shoulders
leaving charred handprints on my shirt
they told me to run and never look back
to never spare a single glance
until the sun rises
until it sets
until the world fades to ashes
i wouldn't know where to go, i say
it doesn't matter, they say
run away
run away
run away

and so i did.
82 · Apr 22
scent of burning
lua Apr 22
i like to reminisce on fires that never truly took place
yet i still smell the scent of smoke on my clothes
maybe it was from the things my mother burned outside
or from my father's cigarettes
and it had clung to me
i felt its claws dig through the weavings
and through the layers of my skin
but i did not notice it
until i had realised every word i spoke
turned black before my eyes.
82 · May 11
apotelesmatic
lua May 11
i can see the night on her skin
each freckle clustered
like constellations
scattered throughout her body
on the very dips of her hips
to the dimples on her back
a starry
starry night.
lua Apr 12
as years passed by, the moon had fallen out of love
the light of the sun was so bright
that the moon told itself that it could never reach it
to cradle the sun in its cold palms
that their fingertips will never meet
and the sun's light had gotten dimmer in the moon's eyes
until the raging fire that the moon had once felt for the sun
shrunk, diminished
had put itself out
but the sun felt the ignition
a spark deep within its core
like a single match thrown into a city doused in gasoline
burning bright and powerful
eating away at the very walls of the universe
and without even knowing
had fallen in love with the moon.
79 · Mar 7
never happened
lua Mar 7
skipping stones across a still lake
each jump fills the calmness in temporary chaos
rippling then dissipating into nothing
as if it never happened.
75 · Feb 13
a dreamer dreams
lua Feb 13
the evening light
a dreamer dreams
of sunshine days
and full moon nights
the summer's overheat
the spring full of life
the autumn's browning leaves
the chill of winter's ice
the seasons come and go
and to and fro
the days, they pass by
and the times we all care
the moments we all share
in the days we say goodbye
the memories we hold within
inside, they hide
for a dreamer simply dreams
and dreams don't come alive.
72 · Feb 22
mangled hands
lua Feb 22
i reach for the curve of your cheeks
with mangled hands,
bruised and blistered
and i hope you let them stay there
i hope you don't push them away.
67 · Apr 22
Distant Memory
lua Apr 22
Chest falls as smoke rises
Up into the air
The memory of a past
Long forgotten
Buried under a mountain of ash
Scrap metals, old wood
And photographs burnt at the corners.
all but a faint, distant memory.
66 · Sep 2019
a type of sadness
lua Sep 2019
Sometimes it's having trouble falling asleep
Sometimes it's having trouble waking up
Sometimes it's sleeping the entire day
Sometimes it's waking up at ungodly hours
Sometimes it's eating everything in your fridge in one sitting
Sometimes it's not eating anything at all
Sometimes it's blood stains
Sometimes it's bruises
Sometimes it hurts
Sometimes it's numb
Sometimes it's running until you can't breathe
Sometimes it's being motionless for days on end
Sometimes it's the feeling of a blade
Or lukewarm water
Sometimes it's how hard you grip your pen
Or the balled up, crumpled pieces of paper
Sometimes it's watching every move you make in the mirror
Sometimes it's not looking your reflection in the eyes
Sometimes it tastes sweet
Sometimes bitter
Or salty
Or sour
Sometimes it's the cold feeling of the floor against your back
Sometimes it's the soft mattress you lay your head on in slumber
Sometimes it's the day
The afternoon
The night
Sometimes it's the guilt
The wrath
The fright
Sometimes it's clear as can be
Sometimes it's all fogged
Sometimes it's doing everything at once
And sometimes it's doing nothing at all.

There's a word for this.
64 · May 6
how much?
lua May 6
love doesn't cost much, to say the least. ive never bought love before but i know people who have. some say it costs an arm and a leg, some will say it's about a dollar and two cents. no refunds, as everything goes. sadness is an acquired taste, but it costs nothing more than the entirety of your youth. it has an interest rate too, so if you cant pay it all immediately, you're gonna be in debt for the rest of your life. sometimes you dont realise you bought sadness in the first place. sometimes you mix things up in your shopping cart and that's okay. it happens to the best of us. fear, on the other hand, is something you don't buy. it's just been there for as long as you can remember. some people have more of it, some people have less. sometimes people like to share their fear to other people, or even force it into a poor, unsuspecting fool's hands. everything else is a hand-me-down, opinions and what-not. kids these days like to take those opinions and cut them up and add new stuff to it, making it something new entirely. it's interesting, and it's become some sort of new trend nowadays — a trend i gladly participate in. but there's one thing i don't think i can buy, not for now atleast. happiness. happiness is something i see in a store shelf, a price tag with an ungodly amount of digits sticked on it. happiness is the item in the shop that i pick up and inspect with a longing in my heart, but never can buy. i don't have enough money for happiness. sometimes people drop their happiness as they go about their lives, and i would be the person behind them to see it. there would always be an inner debate within me whether to keep it for myself, or to return it to the owner. on most occasions i am a model citizen, and return it to the person who dropped it. but sometimes i place it inside my bag and bring it home, to where id take it out and feel the corners of my lips twitch into a smile. i know it wasn't mine, but the rich people who can afford it tend to be so careless, as if they don't want it. i know i took someone else's happiness away from them. so i'd place it back in my bag, go back to where i found it and place it there, hoping the owner comes back and finds it. then i'd go back home feeling accomplished, yet heavy inside. it was the right thing to do, i'd repeat to myself. one day i'll buy my own happiness. happiness to call my own.
64 · Jan 27
Untitled
lua Jan 27
i'll dream of starry skies without you
i'll breath in the fresh scent of cut grass without you
i'll swim in the deepest, largest oceans without you
i'll explore the world's caves without you
i'll go on adventures without you
i can live my life without you.
living through loss
62 · Apr 19
4 am
lua Apr 19
i go to sleep at 4 am
right before the breaking through of dawn
because i fear that when the sun touches my face
i won't be able to close my eyes.
lua Apr 4
falling in love is frightening
it is a cruel, terrifying thing
to allow yourself to collapse into the arms of a stranger
to let them dissect each word you say
each thought, each laugh that escapes
each tear that rolls down your cheeks
and every inch of skin across your body
to allow your knees to buckle and shake at the very thought of their name
and to allow your heart into their palms
allowing them to do anything to it
truly,
falling in love is frightening.
57 · 3d
moonrise
lua 3d
dark blue skies
indigo nights
the splatter of white
flecks of light
through tiny holes
on your muddied clothes
and freckles speckled
on skin riddled
with words to say
the transition from day
to the cloudless eve
i cling to you to breathe
as the sunlight fades
and leaves without a trace
hold on to that smile
your hands in mine
fingers merge
and intertwine
you cling to me to cry
as the sun dies
for the moon to rise.
50 · Mar 17
all the demons
lua Mar 17
if i could stay longer, i would
id be here til time stops ticking
when the universe begins to crumble
and forever has met its end
if i could fuse our hearts together, i would
id stitch them together with thread
and let them beat
synchronised
even if they bled
and the thread stains red
i want to be with you and hear your voice ringing in my head
i want your voice to be the only thing i hear
theres nothing in this black hole but us
our fears
all the tears you wept and swiped away
lets set the galaxy on fire on our way to hell.
50 · May 17
escapist
lua May 17
the dogs howl and bark to the beat of my feet
as i go
stomp
stomp
stomping away
on the damp soil
my heels dig through wet dirt
as i run
to somewhere i don't know yet
i have no destination
but the only thing that keeps me running
is the fact that my heart is still pumping
and blood still rushes through my veins
and i won't stop
until it does.
run away
little runaway
49 · Apr 11
another day
lua Apr 11
when dawn comes, i will rejoice
and beat my chest to the skies
because it is a reminder
that i lived through another day.
lua 7d
when the sun dies, the moon will burn brighter than it did before
a silent cry of light
as celestial tears run down the moon's crater-filled face
and drips into the ocean
as the waves swell and swallow
like a rip in space
a blackhole
once the sun takes its final breath
when the sun dies, the earth shall be a witness
and would die too
as the sun burns through everything in reach

when the sun dies, so shall the moon.
46 · May 18
Passing time
lua May 18
The anxious feeling bubbling in my stomach
The heat up my throat
I hear the gentle ticking of the clock
I close my eyes
And time feels like water down my arms
As if my body is floating away in a pool of
Something
Warm
Yet cold
And every breath I breathe travels around
Like curious ghosts
Eating up boredom and fear
To pass the time.
41 · Feb 22
When I think of you
lua Feb 22
The world spins at high speeds
But I feel things in slow motion
I see and hear everything at once
The loud music and commotion

Guitar riffs and booming drums
I listen to them
My heart sinks and my head aches
As I wake up in confusion

Late night bad decisions
And early morning unanswered questions
Once in a lifetime confessions
Filled with lifelong realisations

Sitting on rooftops during the sunrise
The cold breeze through the trees
The green leaves tinted red from the sunlight
Silent moments of peace

All these things, all of the above
All of the things that make me feel in love
I'll love you more, each day I live through
I'll love you more when I think of you.
poems for someone who doesn't exist
31 · Mar 5
Peaceful
lua Mar 5
Coffee cups and midnight snacks
The gentle breeze as the people pass
The sunset against the windows of a car
Observing life from afar

Diamond glints on cracked road
The embroidered patch that I sewed
On my bag that rests on the empty chair
It says "I don't mind, I don't care"

Life goes on as it does
As lonely as it may seem
The flowers will bloom, the bees will buzz
I'll live life peacefully.
29 · 2d
rumination
lua 2d
the sun goes by, and it sets
as we lie and ruminate
in empty rooms inside our heads
and the days come late
while the nights draw near
we run in circles on the hands of fate
as we eat our fears
one by one
the moon goes by, and it sets
the days are gone
nothing but whispered threats
but we draw blood
and it drips
on soil and mud
during crashed road trips
to a destination that dies
as we grow close
and it splits,
divides
crossroads.
lua 1d
you sound like a dream
one that i've locked inside my head
the one with flying unicorns
and laser beams
and cotton candy trees
but the one with thunder and lightning
and a ring of flames
in the middle of a meadow
where the fires ate everything it touched
and spat out nothing but a blackened husk
it's the one where prince charming falls off his high horse
and into the abyss
the one where rapunzel chops off her hair
the one where mermaids exist to be feasted upon
by hungry sailors
you sound like a nightmare.

— The End —