Every time
I think that I’m really though with you

I laugh at the irony
Exclaim, but not in exuberance
My heart races, only to fade

And a headache follows
With my realized mistake

Every
Single
Time

Why do I look?

I am weary
My eyes are wandering aimlessly
My forethought having long since lost its ability to see
Anything beyond the warm bed in front of me

O' my old friend
How I long and wish to return to you again
To pass the day slowly away
Until I am refreshed again and eager to live
Outside of this abnormality

Because I miss the normal visions I have
And this, whatever you want to call it existence
Is a much sleepier, far less enjoyable version of me

For I am weary
And yet I want to be
Rested without having to waste my time
Investing in the folds of sleep

This I know to be selfish of me
And yet no matter how hard I try
I cannot seem to close my eyes and rest my head
At either the foot nor head of my bed

Perhaps, if you'd see me, you could understand
That I am not angry, foolish, or sad
I'm just a slightly tired man

I pour it out
Like a bottle of wine upon the ground
I have spent myself therein
And soaked into the bitter ground
Behind the house

Because no expectation can withstand
The truth within
Which is that you can control the consumptive means
To make or break most anything

But I pour it out
Because I can

When my thoughts run away with me
And I don't know which way I should go

Once I receive the insignificance I so badly wanted
And all I want, is to be left alone

When every corner of my existence is thick with dust
Having flooded my mind, this temporary home

I find his words alive again, and I am reminded
That I must decide once more to go home

When your pain is pain is pain is pain
And your only escape to mechanize ... is sleep

All day all day all day you wish
To be free from constraints and responsibilities, and

When you finally are set
And in your self contentment can stay

Complain, complain, complain, complain
Don't exist though you do this day

Feel the sand beneath your feet
See the waves above your head
Like the pressure in your heart
So deep
You’re the only one who gets to see
The sea this way
As it is
Crashing, rolling, underneath
How you stand beneath the oldest beast
Ever to be brought down upon the earth

Some days you just feel
As man was not mean to be
Alone

I'll find no rest in this old home
Another house beneath my feet
Like sands which shift on a foreign shole
I am the comber of this beach

With every night alive I wake
To wind which howls
And a bed which aches

Though guilty as my leave may be
I can no longer sleep within this place

Have you any idea?
What you do to my eyes?
The wrinkles and lines which you evoke?  
With delicate ease…
You do this to me
And have you any idea?

Look into my eyes and see whatever you can.
For I have passed over,
And I become the former friend.

Though before you my feet may shimmer and stand.
You cannot see the path before me,
Nor the direction which my heart demands.

Like a wanderer, I'm an invisible man.
Standing beside the traveling son,
With the comrades in their own travelin band.

The rugged, the ragged, the weary souls.
Such tiresome eyes will always know,
What the steady feet will not understand,

So look into my eyes and see,
Whatever it is,
Whatever you can.

After so many words have passed my lips
After being so warm
Like fire on the edge of my fingertips

I amazed by what I find
Both within me and within this
My seemingly same old somber mind

Because all of a sudden
The same old feelings
And the same old wooden stirring stick
Have broken into a dozen pieces
And suddenly I am settling in
After weeks of feeling uncommonly mixed

This is a different side of me and yet the same
With a broken stick cast at my feet

How I want to share
Because it reminds me
Exactly how I would like to be
But to be like this forever and always
To be locked in this form exclusively
Would be nothing short of torturous for me

So I’ll search for new words with this month
And try and find a way to stretch
The same old somber sayings which
Always seem to bunch up in my mind

So I’ll search along the wall of time
From here until the very end
Until I find the truth within
Where his words begin
And my words end

For only his words are perfect and kind
And enough to restore my peace of mind

Overlapping like our hands
But colder, quicker
And in an uncontrolled fall
Free until splash, dew part
Truthfully
The rain drops in the puddle there
Are not like us at all

Don't pretend to be something you're not to impress
Don't be like that
When in fact it's the claim that you understand
Which unfailing
Undoubtedly
Makes me laugh

My anthem struck me like a chord
When a Willow tree become a whip

As a leaf I'd yet to be truly born
Into the confidence of another tune

It was The Killers first who slew my fear
Who called my snapping hand a whisp

With a firey, crackling, flailing hiss
My anthem, adrenaline, I'm in love with you

Let the fat cat, from the alley back, in philly ****. And scatter all of the mice and men, who dare and defy the logic that, his impact, is in fact, where it's at.

Nobody dreams anymore when they sleep
How they wake to find
That their dreams of the day are not met
Will not meet
How long will this nightmare continue to be?
Like a daily life with eyes wide shut
Squeezing tightly until its extinguished from me

When they curse and cry and weep and wail
When they try and throw you down like a stone
Don’t sink or slurk, but float
And that alone will be enough, to know

The love of my life doesn't mean
Heart and soul
It means choose and choice
Part and whole

Tennis is like poetry

Back ... and ... forth
And back ... and ... forth
Back ... and ... forth
And back ... and ... forth
Back ... and ... forth
And back ... and ... forth

Until one line breaks

All I really do is stumble and walk
Kicking stones, picking rocks, skipping thoughts

Did you know that when it rains
It secretly rains on us all?
Buildings or not
No state or county line alive
Can divide those underneath from which it falls
The glorious sky
The bellowing sky
Which opens up its eyes every morning
Just to look and see that we are yet still alive
And even though that same old sky
Which connects us though cannot love
It’s only because of such blessings from above
That we can learn to live and love at all

There is a glass box in the ocean
Invisible to the nautical eye

How it hides beneath the subtle waves
As the breakers and boats berate the tempest skies

For amidst the ocean of unending salt
Amidst the darkness of the currents below

There is only this
An ounce of freshwater in a box of glass

Unfound, both in and of itself
How it will ever preserve and still outlast

Can you truly dictate the direction in which you will walk?
Change the manner of your subconscious ways
And develop yourself into a new role?
What of your mind, what of your body?
Can you bend such things to a fuller health
And channel your will for the good of yourself?
Not to mention the collectiveness of this
You and your futures mutual souls
And for those of you who are yet apart
And wandering further down the path
Only wondering what the future holds
You can relax and know that it has been decided
Because the heart will want what it will want
It's inevitable

Vitriol
Spit it out
And keep a more civil tongue in your head
A more round noun in your mouth

And you want to get lost in the recesses of your mind? There is only you there, what do you expect to find?

Perhaps you are not as you seem
Or perhaps the problem
As it always has been
Resides with me

For I am my not that
As I am not awake
But that too often now I have gone to dreams
And dreams don't die for me

Instead I breathe
And in sleeping
Wake

Who knows the path most meant for you?
Who knows the meaning of it all?

Who knows how many trees bear fruit and precious leaves which fail to fall?

Who knows which way the wind does weep?
Who knows the path each snowflake takes?

Who knows the choices we wrestle with?
Who knows the trouble we ourselves make?

Who's at the end of the lonesome road?
Who's name is the only name to call?

Who knows the WHY behind the world?
The answer is the ALL in ALL.

From where to draw
From which new well?
The night forever never tells

With no ear there
To hear the silence
But to speak another, break the spell

No mind to see what's in the night
Unless the dark is spoken till
The dawn it breaks another dream

With morning come a settled well

Deep to draw
Deep to dwell

Crash
Like hopes
Midst falling waves
Encircling the outer banks

Built
Like timberus structures
Known only to man
Which pass

Fall
Like Autumn
On a chorus of empty ears
In distant monologues

Rise
Like metaphors
In a cautious Spring
Learning to last

When I hear the song we once did share
Echoing though the woods of now

And bouncing off of the realizations
Of how we both cared then and now

It is here I find that I'm young again
Be it only in mind and consequence

Let not a wish be defined by when
But know this of this aged man

That the ending doesn't seem to stop
Me hearing that same old song again

When the skies turned cold, I never knew
I only could hope to find and see...

But now the truth before me sits
Like an open sky,
Staring up at me.

And behind your eyes
Is the starlight I've longed to see

Till the dawn blade pierces the night
And the skies renew
Look up at me my most alive

See only me
With such starlight in your eyes

How foolish of me to think that I could understand
That I could even possibly comprehend whatever it is or whoever it was
Because clearly the struggle that I did undertake was something that I could not withstand
But even so and as I am
I cannot understand
Because I am just a mortal
I am just a man
But I wish I could
I wish you can

How can you mend a bridge that's never been crossed,
In the daylight under the sun?

How can you climb beneath the turquoise sea,
And swim to the base of a mountain undone?

How can you find a way to the clearing's edge,
Where the waterless streams beneath willows weep?

And how much of you and I can be found,
Together, if to our opposite sides we keep?

It's the familiar way those fingers play the same old song I sent you away to.
Because when I heard it for the first time I knew, that it was both appropriate and true.
Still to this day, its hard to say, that we stood and swayed a certain way.
But every time I hear this play, I'm transported back, and taken away.
To a time when we were surrounded by a firey way.
To a night so long and full of sorrow, that I was sure we wouldn't see the light of day.
And through the ashe and endless smoke, my wispers knew not what to say.
Except that I was sorry to go, but we always knew it would end this way.
How the fire and brimstone was not our dream, but a reality which burned away.

Where raindrops crash so quietly
Speaking soft with subtle sounds aloud
And in a language to be seen around
Like moving hands their white ripples fade
Out into conversations crowned with mist
The kind of sweeping breath alive
Which breaths itself out atop the waters edge
Just as words once hung on the morning dew
Now they wake with joy and are gone the next
As a calming way on this crustless wave
The waters return beneath and rest

Smashing ivory
Pounds like loving ***
But without the sudden sweet release
Instead
All there is left is ivory keys

Pain, no conscious name
Be known, but never the less
In present heaven

No coloring known
Is such as described by man
Ever seen alive

Why?

Because I like her voice.

Why?

Because it feels like home.

Winding these words
For a rope to you
Across a narrow bridge collapsed
Will you
Outreach, outstretch
To catch last
At the end where we both
Find findings true

You make me smile like a smart chess move
With anticipation no less intriguing
You are the stroke of ivory in the lingering key of whatever tune has been most on my mind

Your heart must be yellow as a sunflower warm
As it melts away and slowly warms
The winter of my mind turned cold

And now, amidst the houring fields
Where this sound once was young
How it is only my wish for the time to grow old

Rich and dark, like apple cider on an October street corner
I didn’t know you, dulcet and sweet
Until the full weight of your intoxicating world washed over me

When the vacuum snaps
And Ahab is pulled beneath the calm waters of the world
The only surface tension that remains is dispelled by the ripple of intensity
And the underlying opportunity
That the tension of escape and the capture beneath provides
When the vacuum snaps almost instantly

From the moment I wake
And stop breathing haste beneath ceiling fans
How I wish to create
Though I cannot always due to morning fog
And its mind over me
How it strongly takes
Two cups at least