Antisocial, shy
Or have you lost the hope of
Being understood?

have you ever held the sun in your hands
sometimes i carry it around in my pockets and forget it’s there
sometimes i feel so full of it that i believe in god again
what else is there besides
the streams of light peeking through magnolia leaves
who am i to the baseball shirt
to the blazer or the black fishnets or the crooked bottom teeth
it doesn’t matter
i smell lemon verbena laundry detergent and it’s like time travel
i’m in our west hollywood apartment again falling asleep on my right hip
sometimes i am forty-two but i am always fourteen
do you see me on the page or in the sidewalk cracks
i wish i didn’t care but i always do
where does it come from
the longing
the need to be loved by the things that we love
i hear a song or read a poem and i’m on my knees
i hate being looked at but
i’d do anything for you to see me

“Unbind
Unclasp
Uncover
Uncurl
Unfurl
Undo
Unfasten
Unfold
Unhing­e
Unhook
Unleash
Unlink
Unmask
Unroll
Unveil
Unclip
Unlace
Unzip
­Untie
Unbutton
Unlock”

“Undress.”
“Understood.”

Unravel

“Perhaps one did not wish to be loved,
So much as understood.”
I’ve never fully understood anyone,
I doubt they’ll understand me,
And that’s ok,
It might just not be meant to be.

I've fallen before...
Fell into the coldness of a winter night,
and sunk into the chilling shadows of the moon.
I've tripped on the stutter of my words,
and let myself collapse into gloom.
Yet I've never fallen in love before.
Never melted in the tenderness of ones heart...
Or drowned in the eyes of love.
I've never understood the feeling...
of how it is
to truly fall.

I miss you more than u know my dear friend
I remember you more than any body care to know;
I am mad at you more than you ever know for leaving.
I also know your father and mother miss you more than
I, we have all been crying since your passing away
I don't know why God allow death to rob us of you, but
I now understood that death will be the ruin of everyone including
I -by taking away all the good people that we love most.
I feel the pain of your death more deeply because
I felt you were a goodman with a great career and
I knew you would had Made a difference.
I had wish you had more time on earth like Methuselah had and
I do hope you make it to heaven so you can tell my mother that
I miss her a lot as you both walk in the city of light.