If I saw you in the hall tomorrow,
Would you have the gall to say hello?

My hope died
But my want thrives.

Don't get my hopes up,
To let me fall.
Try to protect my feelings,
Like you care at all.

head
hands
shoulder
back
painfully cut, broken, damaged, and burned

Science, a design with many motives.
Evoking and erasing thoughts and emotions
Changing how we will live tomorrow
Evasively placing new ideas into reality.
Quick to tear out old thoughts, dreams.
Allowing us to live easily
Yet stopping us from our own imagination.
Child-like fantasies and hopes broken apart
Dreams ripped right out of our hearts
Forcing us to digest the harsh truths of the world
Our bearings rearranged, undone and changed
Science makes life so simple that it’s hard
Trampling our faith and beliefs to the point of nothingness.
Left without a guiding light, only the cool, eerie calm of night
How is it possible to believe in God anymore?
The path of reason has brainwashed the faithful, tarnishing them.
Isolated insinuations icing over a warmth that flowed
A world where there won’t be questions to answer anymore,
But the one, What will you believe?*
Science, faith, both or beyond.

My cat
is the only living, breathing organism
remotely willing
to keep me any company
and even he is
reluctant.

One step ahead, and three steps left;
Sous sus, plié, and pirouette.
Let me dance adagio,
Will you play me the piano?
I can do chassé,
Float in bourrée,
Entechat, glissade...
Just play for me, if only once.

I'm sorry.
It has to be this way.
I'm sorry.
I can't bare to stay.

she spends her days
walking into walls
hoping to fall into arms that intercept her
rather than
fall
collapse
on the ground
bleed
get up
again
walk
crash
burn
fall
collapse
bleed
get up
again
but to ask for him
is too much of a burden on him
her thoughts are poison
home is a petri dish
to add
to spoil
with her infection
she is an infectious disease
or so she believes
her soul
has caught a black cancer
consuming what was once left
of her light
brilliance
joy
innocence
on occasion
sparks of joy
illuminate her life
but promptly burn out
no one gives her much to live for
there are a select few who give her
teases and tastes
of love
of hope
but so many years have gone by
and she's been left all this time without a meal
forget anorexia nervosa she's starved
of affection
of authenticity
and it's not her at fault
or it might be
either way it's herself she blames
she doesn't see who will miss her
yes
her funeral will be attended
and for a few weeks they might
talk and speculate
but all within a month
she knows
she'll be forgotten
the only brief
fleeting
memory
that she took her own life
she can't take the emptiness
despair
needs a reason to persist
but thinking
looking for one drives the inner pessimist
she can't find a reason to stay
how appropriate
because no one ever stayed
not even him
she now waits for a reason enough
to run from her latest hope
waits for it to backfire so she can say
she's done
book it and run
straight to her blade
only this time not take care to
hide
but forget to care and
die

You quiet little sufferer
Don't speak a word
Make not a peep
Never ask for help
Don't be a burden

please don't forget to think of me.
remember me when you feel the sunlight
reach your hair and grow warm, when
it hits your face and you're taken
aback and blinded as it pours steadily
into your eyes. don't look into the
sun like I did. it feels warm
and inviting on your skin, but if
you let it pour into you for
a moment it will take years until
you can see. the sun in the
end is nothing more than hot gas
burning in the distance. don't close your
eyes to it either, don't avoid it,
but cast your eyes down as it
climbs high over you. and watch from
it's setting to rising how the air
changes and it grows cool, cool but
you are not alone. you are no
longer alone as you allow your eyes
to raise and the moon reflects a
lighter glow you can understand, and scattered
about it are kaleidoscope cousins of the
sun that sought to burn. you remember
me when you realize these acts of
separation are safer than the sun direct.

I was never supposed to exist
I was never supposed to hurt people
I was never supposed to hate myself
Because I was never supposed to exist

George isn't playing nice tonight.
I'm not willing to put up a fight.
I'll be destroyed by morning light.

deafening
horrifying
angry
confusing
lonely
empty
sharp
easy
peac­eful

concerning

i seem to be great at                              
                              at­tracting lust
yet god-awful at                          
                           attracting love

Why are my cells aching to be sliced?
Why are my hands itching to inflict?
Why am I trying to resist when I know it's useless?

Why is it
The sluttier I dress
The more you all
Accept me?

Yesterday doesn't matter
Just love me tomorrow
So today won't hurt