You tell me that you ain't ****,
You tell me you're not my type.
Well, only one of those statements
Happens to be right.

However, that's what makes me so confused
It ain't that you ain't ****
It's that you're not my type
Yet I still love you.

You say you love me like a brother
And that's fine.
Just know
That love is not entirely the same as mine.

I'm not propositioning.
That's not my intention.
I just feel that there's something we're both missing... Could help each other with,
And perhaps we once met in another dimension.

Sorry, not sorry for my feelings
They can be hard to control
"Why hide who I am?"
That's something I was recently told.

And maybe your afraid of losing,
Ruining what we have right now.
I get it. I'm ready for risk.
Possibly you're not right now.

I have a sneaking, creeping suspicion
We've meet at an interesting intersection of each other's lives.
No coincidence. Listen to life's mission,
Use your soul. Don't see with your eyes.

I've felt many things,
Interpreted there meaning.
They come and go,
Yet not this wonderful, lovely, strange feeling.

We are similar in so many ways
We love and hate pain
We love someone who pushes us away
Someone, someday, somehow, someway

Poem

Dear god,

Can you hear me?
And if you can, do you take me seriously?
Why do you allow the world to be
Full of hate, war, and disease?

Why do the good die young?
Is this a joke?
Are you having fun?
Hello?

Is anyone there?
Am I all alone?
You just watch and stare
From your lofty throne.

Frequently
Sequencing
Frequencies
Pleases me

Family, that's what you wanted
Nothing more
I'm sorry that's not what I was looking for.
I hurt you, but it's what I do to family.

I've done it before
An accident, a mistake
It's because I'm passionate.
Just escape my world.

You
Are          The only thing that keeps
The devil        Away from me
                 Maybe I’m whipped
And yet                 I can’t stand this ****
I still want you.            To be happy
                      I must stop
I don’t care if this makes you feel uncomfortable
My feelings, wonderful. I don’t love anything.

Thought I could stop writing this poetry.
Guess I was wrong, it helps open me
Up to my feelings, and new ways of seeing.
Different ways of being.

It’s a great escape,
From reality’s terrible wake.
Allows me to contemplate
Just how I feel and what’s important and real.

I write these poems
One go, no editing.
They express how I feel.
I know no better way.
If they come off as aggressive or abrasive,
Confused and evasive,
Inconsistent,
Too real yet nonexistent
That’s only because it’s who I am,
How I am.
I’m only throwing a fit.
It’s only how I feel.

I’m alright
I see the light
I know to darkness
Nothing new here, ive always been heartless

Don’t worry about me
I enjoy the dirt and filth that surrounds me
Don’t be so vain
It’s mine, not your pain

It’s not time to leave yet
I don’t think you see it
I have things to do
I’m quite used to feeling blue

You’re just the newest think to cross my mind
If not you then another I’d find
Sit and write
Spill my mind because I cannot cry

I mean no harm
Just expressing myself
I’ve been here before, and will be again before long
The only help is my help

Thanks for caring
That’s all I need
There’s nothing you did or can do
So just let me bleed

Couch surfing
Bed hoping
The living don't see
The dead talking

But it is they who are rotting

My brain is racked
My mind is numb
I want the pain
I let it come

Yes, I may be depressed
Maybe that's what's best
The world is a vampire
It feeds on stress

U
Hurt
My
Head

The end

You must be settling.
That's what you told me.
Me and you, I'm must be reaching...
You and him, seems like it's reversed.

**** me.
**** him.
And what do you want?
**** us

I know more than you think.
That's why I always reach.
I see the best and learn to love the rest.
Everybody I love is the best.

Why do you pain me so?
It may be my fault.
My feelings are my law.
But then again, what do I know?

Please, just please
Put me out of my misery
I can't stand existence
I didn't ask for this ****

Why, oh why, must I be
Put me out of my misery
Slit wrist or a noose around my neck
I'm almost ready, but not yet

A straw, a brick
A hug, a kiss
Poisoned thoughts
I've had enough of this

Broken backs, broken dreams
You have no idea what I've done, and what I've seen
I cannot end it, because I deserve this pain
I'm a loser and hate the game

Purge my soul
Break my bones
Leave me broken
Or send me home

I've shed my skin
Rolled up my sleeves
Let you in
Now my heart just bleeds

I've taken off the mask
Set it aside
But if you ask
I'll put it back inside

Nobody seems to understand
Not you, not me, my family, or my friends
It's final
I'll never let anybody near again

I will be available
On the day of the event
If you are interested in this opportunity
Please contact me

You'll find her in a moment
I really want to be involved with her
I'm not going to be able and I don't want to
Do anything for her anymore

Seth is not a human
But if you ask me about this
I think I should have asked you
In my mind and the fact that I am not going back

I love her
She's the only one who's been there for me
Whether thick or thin, lose or win
She reminds me, apparently, even the loser wins

Her words keep me going
Even when life is dreary
The noises she makes
Help me see clearly

And when we are together
It almost seems okay
Assured me that it will be better
Keeps me going another day

She's eclectic and been around
Through her, years of wisdom can be found
No matter how I feel today
She always has the right things to say

Never turned her back
Never turned to deceit
When I say this I mean it
She is the one for me

But she is not mine alone
She's with us all
That's the power of her magic
Her tones uplift your fall

I write her notes
They reflect my being
The words I write
Show her how I'm feeling

Together with her, in the groove
Masterful grace, perfect moves
Without her, surly I would be dead
She clears my head... I love you, music.

I'll be fine, as long as I have my wine.

Keep the taps flowing.

Otherwise I'll be forced to find something more potent.

I don't care, question whether to liver die

I suppose it's alright if you don't reciprocate.

I am deeply familiar with the inner workings of love and hate.

More than you think, I understand your position.

Is one I've been in, and don't find myself missing.





Just know I'll be there for you.

I'll know when and when not to care for you.

When to share with you.

And if you leave.. I might despair... I'll miss you.





However, don't let my pursuit of happiness derail yours.

Nor should I change your details or more.

I guess my path is to help create your happiness.

Even if I'm not in that, it's none the less.





All I ask is that you consider.

I've grown around all breeds.

When I see one, I know an elixer.

I might not be yours, however, that doesn't mean YOU don't fulfill MY needs.





I'm sorry for any pain or conflict.

I'm sorry that I'm not gone yet.

I'm sorry that I must fulfill my promise.

I am NOT sorry for how I feel.





This is real, unfiltered and unfettered.

Perhaps this way is really better.

I don't expect I or you to change.

Please know, I Am NOT just another page.





Nor another paragraph.

And perhaps I'm being brash...

I don't think so.

I'd ask for chapters or a novel written by your pencil.





And maybe I'm drunk.

Possibly I'm dumb.

Certainly I'm numb.

But That's why I can't ignore this feeling I call love.





**** it. I am dumb.

Probably means what I feel is wrong.

I must be just like the others, shuffling along.

Wanting something that I wish was mine but wasn't all along.





I mustn't know your true needs and wants.

Otherwise I wouldn't feel this incessant need to talk.

I want to delve deeper, trust me I do care.

I don't trust people ***** nilly, just here and there.





Maybe I don't know what I need.

Possibly you don't either.

But you're the only one whose got me writing poetry.

So I will die in this battle, because I am a true fighter.





I see the marks on your arm, on your body.

I have them too... by another name, on my soul.

You aren't nobody.

I want you to know.





For me loyalty and trust are king.

You should know, that's why I haven't made a scene.

I have too much respect, even if sometimes it seems unseen.

Truly, I am sorry... I do believe.





Like a true scorpio... Complicated, that's what I am.

I don't expect, or necessarily want you to understand.

If I believe you, you should me.

I'll be those singular tracks in the sand.





Listen, dudette... I know you prefer that.

I wouldn't do that...

That being: whatever... whomever hurt you.

I only want to learn from you.





So please... Get your **** together.

Quit ******* around.

Stay in my head.

Because I enjoy having you around.





Is it selfish of me to ask this?

Maybe not theoretically, possibly in practice.

If you're still unsure to whom I'm bleeding  my heart out with all this talking...

All you'll have to do is count the number of quatrains... Truly this is what I mean... even if you're only...

Hear here,
They're there,
Now now.
Let me help calm you down.