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403 · May 2018
Warning Signs
Mister J May 2018
Stop
Re-assess your life
Are you sure you're in the right path?
What if you're not?
Stop

Look
Look for what's better
Do you think it will make you happy?
And if it doesn't?
Look

Listen
To the beat of your heart
If it feels wrong why continue further?
And if its all wasted?
Listen

Rise
Up when you fall down
There's no other way to continue it all
Because everything will be fine
If you only
Rise
Short piece. Schedule is a bit hectic
Just wanted to release some steam
Thanks for reading!

-J
402 · Sep 2017
Iris
Mister J Sep 2017
The eyes of a man
Broken and tested in life
Tell lots of stories
They're windows to the soul
Mirrors to the heart
Books that need to be read

Another Haiku. :)
400 · Dec 2017
Out of reach
Mister J Dec 2017
You were a surprise
Something that never crossed my mind
An unexpected encounter
That would change me forever

I always thought that
If I work hard and with passion
I could get anything I want
Never have I been so wrong
As then and there
Right in front of you
While I choked on my feelings
and opened my heart
Fate dashed this innocence
In just a quick instant

I've always wanted you
Just to be beside you
Breathing the same air
Sharing the same moment
Laughing on the same jokes
Holding hands
Locking in embraces
Eating at the same place
and sharing the same food
Reading together the same books
Sleeping on your lap
While my mind flutters around you
Dreaming about a tomorrow
where we do the same things all over again
and being happy with each other
Being content with this life
That I wanted to share with you
How innocent of a dream
and yet Fate is a cruel thing

I always thought that I could reach you
I could be with you through think and thin
That you could want me the way I want you
Is it wrong for me to be in love with you?
Why does loving you passionately
end up being a punishment on me?
Why is it that when I only yearn to be with you
I end up living and loving alone?
I always thought that you were already mine
And yet in the end, you've always been out of my reach?
Why is it that when you were with me, you were always content
and yet when with him, you dare to dream even further?
Why can't my love for you prosper
while his love for you bears all the fruits of my labor?
I don't understand why a wish so innocent
can be trampled and forgotten in an instant twist?

I guess I was only chasing stars
Trying to catch a love
That was never mine in the first place
The lonely nights come passing by
Every day burning quickly
Like embers on a windy night
Trying to forget the memories
you shared with me
Trying to forget the dreams
you made me yearn to achieve
Even though forgetting you stings
I'll do it
I can't stay stagnant on you
I'll have to move on
even if it still hurts
I'll push on
Until you are completely
Out of my system
and out of my reach
Random outburst of thoughts and feelings
As I saw how happy she is with him now
and how I was left hanging and miserable
at that moment when I thought she was almost mine
and yet in the end, she fled out of my reach

Lemme know if you liked the poem or if you could relate.
Thanks for reading. :)
399 · Oct 2017
Waiting Game
Mister J Oct 2017
As much as I want to answer all your questions
Be the only clarity amidst all the confusion
Be the light in your darkest prison
Be the guide in these difficult situations
Be the star in your unclear night sky
Be your comfort and your stronghold
Be the one who sees you regardless
Be your strength and your weakness
As much as I want to be all that

I can’t

But I have to
I want to
You need me to
I need this too

Because

I love you
I cherish you
I adore you
I yearn for you

So until I can be
All these things
You need me to be
Please wait for me
With all your heart
As I with you
Until I find the will
To say

I can
398 · Jan 2018
Mom
Mister J Jan 2018
Mom
She's someone you love
And someone you've hurt
No matter what you did
How far you've fallen
How distant you've become

She'll open her arms wide
Welcome you to her embrace
Give you rest after all the pain
She'll give you another chance
And she'll say
"No matter what, my son,
I'll still love you."
I love you Mom.
Thanks.
397 · Aug 2017
Puppets
Mister J Aug 2017
This Love consumes me
Eating away my sanity
Dictated by passion
Detached from reality

Controlled by desire
Afraid to let go
Diseased by Lust
Unable to say no

A puppet without strings
Wishing only to become real
To satisfy the wanting heart
To love and be able to feel

Come to me
Oh dearest sweet
Come consume me
Become my heart beat

Control the strings of my heart
Unleash these wild feelings
Guide my every move
Into your very being

Like raging forces of nature
Wreaking havoc across the bedroom
Both trying to dominate and be defiant
In this bare ******* under the moon

As you bite my lips
And your fingernails sink in
Goosebumps all over me
On every inch of my skin

Let the passion come crashing
Like ocean waves pummelling the shore
Like a waterfall pouring on a river
Let me seek and want for more

As puppets controlled by desire
Engulfed in passionate lust
Let the innocence fade away
Let every kiss be a must
Third. :)
391 · Sep 2017
Yours
Mister J Sep 2017
I wake up each day
With only you in my head
Why doesn't it stop?

I've never felt this
Strange in a very long time
What's wrong with me now?

I think this is love
It just took me by surprise
How could I face you?

I want to be yours
I just want to deserve you
Is it just too much?

I hope to be yours
Wishing you will be mine too
God let me be hers

Let her see my worth
Let her realize this truth
I am hers to keep

I love you so much
I can't stay away from you
I am yours only
Compiled Haiku-style. Yours to enjoy. 5am thoughts. :)
391 · Jan 2018
The Cure
Mister J Jan 2018
It seems that I have a disease
Something that I've never seen before
I don't know if its contagious
I just hope I could find a cure

It started a few days ago
I've felt weird out of the blue
I can't eat nor sleep properly
My chest feels heavy and my head light

My heart stings badly
My stomach upside down
My feet frozen in place
Every muscle in rebellion

My mouth feels dry
My lungs out of breath
I can't speak up
No matter how hard I tried

And its all because of you
I don't know what you did to me
Every time you're looking at me
These symptoms suddenly affect me

You're a disease to me
I've never felt this way before
I need to find a cure
And it seems that is also you

No matter how much I avoid it
I just can't shake you off me
You make me nervous as hell
And yet you're a little piece of heaven

I want you for myself
But I hate feeling like this
So would you please come to me
And be the cure to everything I feel?
Third poem for 2018. Hey guys, how're you feeling?
I hope you're all great! :)
391 · Feb 2019
Compass
Mister J Feb 2019
The moment when my heart
Started beating for you
I can't help but seek you alone
And beg Heaven for your love

This heart may change directions
It may doubt, be tempted, stumble
Fall, and even be broken apart
But it prays only to be yours

Your arms are the home it seeks
I don't ever want to ever let this go
The compass may head to other paths
But the heart always points to you

I love you
Now,
Tomorrow
And until the day this ends
With my lungs breathing its last
Short piece for Valentines

I miss you. :)

For that uncommitted Salmon in this sea of other fishes who took my heart with her.

-RMIV

:)
387 · Dec 2018
Unlove Me
Mister J Dec 2018
Strip these feelings away from me
If you don't plan on
Spending the rest of your life with me

Unkiss all the kisses you gave me
And flee from my embrace
If you never plan to stay anyway

Forget all our sweetest memories
Even the bitter ones too
If you don't see a future with me

Don't run into my arms
And cry on my shoulders
If you don't commit your heart to me

Love me when you really do
Because I madly do
Want to spend this lifetime with you

I love you
Happy Reading.

-JRM
386 · Aug 2019
Unspoken
Mister J Aug 2019
There are things that keep me up at night
Unfulfilled yearnings that turn to regret
Thoughts that steal away a good night's sleep
Words that were suppressed, never to be said

I guess I'm still stuck at that time
When I was yours, and you, mine
No matter how I press on every day
I still remain a slave to your sways

Harmless conversations from time to time
Cannot satiate how much I thirst for you
Your attention is everything that I seek
Your eyes remain lights in the shadows of my life

Everyday I live in fear and dread
That in a chance that we meet again
You will flash a lovely smile at me
Lovelier than those you had with me

Every night I pray in earnest agony
That I never have to see you again
Knowing that the happiness you have now
Won't ever be caused by me again

So here I am
Writing the unspoken feelings
Etching the hidden truths
That even now, as I write this poem
I want to run to you
Bury myself in your arms
And never letting you go
I want to return to that time
When I pledged myself yours
And you, mine
I want to hold your hands
Hearts connected
Fingers entwined
I want to say I love you
Whispering in your ears
Planting kisses on your cheeks
I want to disappear with you
To a place where you and I
Can freely speak the words unspoken
15-minute rushed write.
Let me know what you think.
Enjoy the read!

-J
385 · Jun 2019
Fears
Mister J Jun 2019
Sometimes I stare at the vast yet blank night sky
Thinking of the memories we shared that are as wide
Sometimes I wonder how abysmal the ocean is
Thinking of the emotions I felt that are as deep

The alcohol is starting to take it's toll
The beer cans scattered all over the floor
Holding back the screams that want to be heard
Holding back the tears that want to fall

I wonder every night if happiness is with you
If the choices we made were really for the best
I wonder every day how my sadness would end
Even if I chose to leave everything and let you go

My deepest fears are making their way to the surface
My deepest grievances are making themselves known
Let me be free from the ghost you left me with
Let me be free from the past that I made painful

Everyday I pray with desperate earnesty
That our paths would never meet again
That I see your face full of joy, no regrets
While my heart is filled by none other than regret

I pray our paths would never cross again
Dreading that moment that I find out
That you never missed me even a second
While I missed you so much each and every second

I pray our eyes would never meet again
Dreading that moment that I find out
That even though a long time has passed
My resurgent feelings would remain the same

Dear God, please don't let me drown in these fears
Please relieve me from these harrowing sorrows
Don't let me see her with all the happiness in the world
While I drown with all the emptiness I got from it.

Mend the heart she left broken, please I beg
For she took away every piece, yet threw them all away
Stop the tears that kept on coming every night
Keep me from feeling numb and unworthy again.
Rushed poem. Thanks for reading!

-J
382 · Oct 2019
Ad Agio
Mister J Oct 2019
Slowly
But surely
Step by step
Inch by inch

I'm almost there
Almost to the end
Letting them go
Gradually

Feelings remain
Crumbling, dwindling
Memories replay
Blurring, fading

Tempo in ad agio
Hands pulling away
Hearts disconnecting
From synchronized beating

The music dies down
As the love dies out
I'm almost there
Almost over you

It's been slow
But I'll be over it
My heart will heal
Even as I miss you

Since you were gone
Nothing worked out
Motivation out the window
Dreams in an indefinite hiatus

But I'll get there
To the sunset by the sea
Where in the waves
I'll bury your memories

The pain will subside
Slowly and carefully
As I shed your chains
From every inch of my body

This is farewell
My love in ad agio
Slowly fading away
Into its final breath
Happy Reading!

Thanks!

-J
380 · Jan 2018
In Transit
Mister J Jan 2018
Staring at the setting sun
Thoughts drifting with the clouds
Mild sunlight kisses my skin
Gentle breeze hits my face
Headphones on my ears
Listening to the songs of my youth
Train ride feels a bit bumpy
People coming and going
Melting behind the scenes
As I stay frozen in my thoughts
Lingering on the moments
Of a roller coaster path
When there was suffering
And there were triumphs
When my smiles lit up
And the times they died
They're all here with me
Shaping me to what I am now
Still in my transit
To the destiny I'm given
Still growing and learning
Still falling and stumbling
But with hope and drive
With courage and faith
And an unfaltering will
I'll get to my destination
My final stop
And carry on to a new journey

I'm still in transit
Heading to that special place
Where I really want to be
Waiting for me
And made just for me
Reflections in life and past failures while travelling on a train.
Jan. 13, 2018
4:00-4:35pm PST

-J
379 · Feb 2018
Wake Me Alive
Mister J Feb 2018
Wake up the dormant emotions
That sleep within my tired soul
Stir these feelings long dead
Let me desire you with wanton lust

Your heavy breathing fill my lungs
As you embrace me with sweet warmth
While the night grows colder by the minute
Make me adore you, make me want you more

Let me dive further and deeper
In those eyes deprived of innocence
Fill the empty bedsheets
Of this cold and lonely bed

Ease my fears of solitude
With those gentle and sacred kisses
As my hands trace every inch you
And my heart fixated on all of you

Don't leave me just for tonight
Since I fear I'm dying inside
Erase these hints of depression
That latched themselves on me

Hold me close and don't let go
Let me drown in your presence
Sink me deep into your pleasure
Leave me addicted to your body

Wake me up alive
And make me breathe heavily
Like making love to you
Is the last thing I'll ever do

Don't let me forget
And don't make me regret
How you roll on my bed every night
And rearranging my life upside down

Let me make love to you tonight
As soon as the sun sets down the horizon
Feed my growing lust for you every night
Until dawn breaks and morning comes again
Thanks for reading!

-J
374 · Aug 2017
Forest
Mister J Aug 2017
The wild trees dance with the thundering wind
within the forest floor life blooms in all living beings
And on top of the mountain, a campfire dances
As two hearts merged into one, conveying their feelings

The Dark Clouds conquered the night sky,
still, moonlight illuminates the mountain top
yet your face outshines all, supreme in beauty
striking me resolutely, leaving me jaw-dropped

How this woman stares right through me
the reason I might never be able to know
and as her almond brown irises gaze upon me
my heart opens, dormant emotions start to show

Her hair gives off the scent of jasmine
Her body curves like a perfect porcelain vase
Her skin radiated much brighter than the fire
a goddess illuminated by glory, beauty, and grace

How soft her lips are as it touches my own
Her breath warmed my face as the night grew cooler
Her beauty seems to last for a thousand eras
The gods might envy me, for this mortal wonder

Love was igniting between the two of us
and I won’t let anyone ****** her away from me
Selfish as I may be, we stay in each other’s arms
My heart shall yearn for her each moment, perpetually

As dawn unveils what the shadows hid
I wake up with my lover within my arms
and as we smile waiting for the rising sun
we vowed this love of ours will never be harmed
An old poem, written around 2011-2013? I can't remember. One of my first pieces. :)
371 · Dec 2017
Forward
Mister J Dec 2017
I take my leave
And forget them all behind
The old is gone
the new has come

I leave the pointless path
And head for uncharted waters
I leave my comfort zone
And go to see the world

I leave the heartaches behind
And strive to be a better person
One that can love this life again
And deserve to be loved as well

I leave all mediocrity behind
And seek a better, happier life
I leave the past year behind
and open my arms to the year ahead

I leave the regret behind
Over all opportunity forgone
I accept the challenge ahead
And take on new and better chances

I quit moping over the past
To live in the present
and take on the future
As I move forward in this life

Today I bid goodbye to the old
And welcome the new season of my life
So that when I face Tomorrow
I can say that I have no regrets in this wild ride
Happy New Year Everyone!
365 · Apr 2018
Stay
Mister J Apr 2018
Take my hand
Let's take the plunge
Let go of the fears
Get rid of the anxieties
Just take the risk
Just once in your life
I'm with you to the end
Just hold my hand

What started out
As a swipe at chance
As a gamble of hearts
As a game of fears
And a reckless risk
May turn out to be
The greatest adventure
In our young, hopeless lives

Eyes on me
Oh dearest sweet
My eyes on you
For all this time
My heart for you
No matter what
My love is yours
Until the end of our lives

I was made for you
And you for me
Even if I burn in your passion
And you stung by my thorns
I am yours
And you are mine
To love and keep
'Til our days are numbered

As we grow old and gray
And wrinkles streak on our faces
I may forget you in my mind
But always you will stay in my heart
And 'til our adventure comes to a close
Even if hell freezes over
My love for you stays
Immortalized in my heart

I am yours forever
And you are mine
I was made for you
And you for me
I'll stay with you 'til the end
Until the day I hold my last breath
Writing while waiting for our professor in class.
Just got a bit bored and all.
Thanks for reading. :)

-J
364 · Sep 2017
Smile
Mister J Sep 2017
Frustrations plague me
Bringing me down on my knees
Your smile brings me ease
Smile. It can lighten someone's day up. :)
363 · Sep 2017
Driftwood
Mister J Sep 2017
Why do I exist?
Floating along time and space
Where should I be now?
Haiku #5
362 · Oct 2017
Scarred
Mister J Oct 2017
The scars of what was
Left etched in the corners of
The heart you wounded
355 · Sep 2019
Remorse
Mister J Sep 2019
Why is it so easy nowadays?
To make people love you
Dropping something heavy like
"I love you"
And leave you alone
With a broken heart?

Why is it so blatant nowadays?
That it is easy to flirt
But hard to commit
And letting someone fall
Without ever catching them
And feeling no remorse?

Shame
Love became worthless
Bastardized by people
Who can never back up
What lies come out
Of their greedy lips
Just needed to blow off some steam.

Happy reading!

-J
353 · Sep 2017
Mirrors
Mister J Sep 2017
How come when I look
To see who I came to be
I feel its not me
Haiku #4
Early morning search for the purpose of my existence. Haha
353 · Apr 2020
Dive
Mister J Apr 2020
Even if our stars weren't aligned
Even if our hearts weren't inclined
Even if our paths were only meant to cross
Even if our love won't always get across

Know that this love will persist
Against the whispers of fate it will resist
My eyes will focus only on you
My compass always pointing at you

These emotions will always stay
This love will never go away
The memories carved in our minds
Each other we will always find

No matter what the stars may say
No matter if the gods tear us away
Like flames kissing the ice
Like cats chasing mice

You always take my breath away
You make my thoughts easily swayed
You are always only for me
And I will always fall only for you

I fall for you still

And I plan on falling further..
Spreading the love

I love you Dear

-J
351 · Dec 2017
Abyss
Mister J Dec 2017
It comes for me
Judgement from the sins
That litter my past
They linger to this day
I'm suffocating
from their grasp
Pulling me deeper
within the Abyss
I am imprisoned
within the blackness of my deeds
within the evil of my soul
They hover over me
The guilt slowly eating me
It plays with my twisted mind
Delusions feel like they're real
The whispers getting louder
Its ******* depressing here
I'm almost out of breath
from the anxiety building up
Just **** me now!

Save me
Hold me
Hear me plea
Come for me

The demons of the past catch up
To destroy what remains
Of my being today
They're almost here
Random Thoughts..
Thinking of a collaboration project
Interested?
Send me a message. :)
Thanks. ;)
350 · Sep 2017
Changing Seasons
Mister J Sep 2017
As the sun chases the moon in perpetual cycle,
As the ocean currents swirl in endless uncertainty;
As the winds come and go to wherever it pleases,
So does the heart changes its color constantly.

The young heart opens up like a flower in spring,
Gentle yet cautious, budding yet reluctant;
Love nourishes it like mild rays of sunlight,
Like an innocent child, forgiving and repentant.

As the days go by the heart slowly blooms,
Nurtured by love and care, by trust and faith;
With emotions growing in each passing moment,
The heart takes you deeper in its natural state.

When summer arrives, the heart becomes passionate,
As torrid as the scorching sun, driven and consumed;
Like a flower standing gloriously, beautiful and lively,
With all doubts and hindrances, all barriers removed.

Love is at its strongest yet most vulnerable phase,
Raging like a dangerous storm on a path of destruction;
When passion can inflict a wound with one wrong step,
Everything starts to fall, piece by piece into abolition.

Like the leaves of a tree shedding in autumn,
Hands slowly slipping, Love barely breathing;
The heart rapidly descending into paranoia,
shrouded in fear, in weakness and uneasy feelings.

Then the storms come to topple what was left,
The heart in a whirlwind of emotional disarray;
Which is why men has also called  the autumn ‘fall’,
because love falls, turning to animosity, hate and dismay.

Winter knocks at the doors of a cold heart,
Where it is on its deepest, most isolated chapter;
Where bitterness stings the like an unbearable venom,
the heart frozen in pain, growing ruthless and harder.

As the darkness creeps in, seeping through the walls,
The cold air suffocating, the temperature intolerable;
The snow growing thicker in the absence of warmth,
The heart stands still, its walls becoming unbreakable.

But amidst all the angst and the sorrows one bears,
The seeds of hope will never leave the young heart;
It wouldn’t abandon those who love purely and faithfully,
And it opens the heart once again for a brand new start.

Like the seasons of the year the heart needs change,
From passion to bitterness, from uncertainty to trust;
Like a rose in the middle of a garden, it needs to endure,
The changing phases of life, to learn and adapt, it must.

One day, the young heart will learn and mature,
Stronger and more passionate than it ever will be;
Then and there, God will grant it the love it yearns,
For it has learned to sacrifice and love unconditionally.

These are the different facets of the human heart,
Like the changing tides, it shifts and morphs suddenly;
It is wild, full of life and hope, like an untamed lion,
And it loves fiercely, unpredictable, and passionately.

Love naturally comes in a flash of light,
so one must learn to endure its sudden impact;
That's why the heart must change repeatedly,
To prepare it for uncertainty, not to be pushed back.
Old write. Enjoy :)
346 · Sep 2017
Deep Stares
Mister J Sep 2017
I just can't think straight
Your eyes leave me blank in bliss
They stare right through me
They penetrate my soul
go straight through my heart
leaving me open to your charms

50th poem. A haiku too. :)
344 · Oct 2017
Magnets
Mister J Oct 2017
Whatever I do
No matter how I resist
I am drawn to you
344 · Sep 2017
Wake-up Call
Mister J Sep 2017
A cool August breeze kissed my warm cheeks
The sleepless night grew silent in anticipation
The ivory queen sat majestically upon her throne
with her children spreading out the sky like fireflies

The city skyline glowed splendidly in the night
The cold mountain breeze swayed the sturdy trees
Only my black, hooded jacket keeps my body warm
But I guess it’s enough as there’s no one to embrace me

My bloodshot eyes felt weary of all this agony
This shattered heart tired from all this distress
All insanity restraining my mind suddenly gone
My head cleared from years of being in the dark

That dreadful pain stopped after years of aching,
That deep **** that never closed ceased bleeding
A sense of peace suddenly brings my mind to ease
Absolution finally came from those daunting tortures

This youthful love I nurtured for the past 5 years
The one where I gave my all just to keep it going
The love that made me hundreds of sleepless nights
Everything I held on dear was cleared as a big confusion

Yes I was hurt, and yes I still suffer from the pain
Yet what can I do if this is the truth I’d yearned for?
Truth I’d always wanted to gain for my own freedom
Freedom from all the heartbreak I’ve endured until now.

My heart endured a lot for the past few years
I know she’s moved on and faced a better future
She loves someone else so dear to her, it pains me
But still, that’s how love is, as it had been for ages

I guess this is my final goodbye to past heartbreaks
Where this girl tried to love me as hard as she could
The girl I passionately desired to forever stay with me
Yet she found love in a different person better than me

So for her well-being, and for my own sake too
I’ll have to learn to live without her in my life
It will be hard at first but I guess this is for better
She’s done it before, so I guess this is my wake-up call

For this night, I finally sleep with a smile on my face
With a spark of hope lighting up in my battered soul
The kiss of the morning sun gives me a new will to live
The thoughts of waking up to a new day, warms my heart

Every day I hope that love will find me again someday
Waking up to a new day feeling much better than the last
Learning to accept the truth as is, as each new day passes by
This fear of getting hurt again decreasing in each new morning

Moving on is a hard task to do for a young heart
Yet as time goes on, pain makes a heart grow mature
But stay strong, because fate will find a surprising way
to mend your broken heart, and wake you up to a new love
Old piece. Free verse. Inspired by real events and a real person in my life.
Now that I think about how much of an Emo I was back then, I can't help it but laugh. :D
340 · Feb 2018
Enough
Mister J Feb 2018
This world is twisted
That's a proven fact
No need to elaborate
Just listen to the news
Watch internet content
Listen to today's music
Where everything is sexualized
Killing people almost everyday
Almost like its a sport
Governments in disarray
Corruption every possible way
War is a daily event
Where people die by the hundreds
And those who cling to power
Comfortable with their lives
While people die for lost causes
Everything feels tiring
Everyday feels dreadful
Fear rules the hearts
Anxiety becomes a plague

I've had enough of this world
Enough of this life
When will things change?
When will people live
Without prejudice or fear
Without hate or suffering
With respect and love
With tolerance and balance
Without lust for power
Without insatiable greed
When will that day come
When all the world
Dreams together
For a brighter future
And just lived in harmony?

Enough
I'm done
I've had it
I don't care anymore
I'm sick of it all
I quit
Stressed. Need to let it out
Something more pleasurable
But I guess this is enough for now

Thanks for reading. :)

-J
339 · Sep 2017
Empty Space
Mister J Sep 2017
It's 4am now
Still no trace of you in bed
What did I do wrong?

I miss you each night
This bed feels cold without you
Come back to me please
Suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and I can't find myself sleeping again.

Here's two haikus. ;)
337 · Sep 2017
Bright Lights
Mister J Sep 2017
City lights glowing on the horizon
Busy traffic bustling the wide roads
Chatter and car horns blaring in unison
Worn out souls coming home from heavy workloads

Bloodshot eyes feel like popping out
Insomniac born from hundreds of sleepless nights
Demons inside me scream and shout
Pleading for a taste of freedom just for tonight

Dim irises reflect the sorrows felt inside
Fake smiles can't hide the dead soul behind
Please tell me how to cross this wide divide
Let me feed your lust, heal the ills of your mind

Come with me now, its do or die
Let's go away and find our northern lights
Come now, don't be afraid, no more alibis
Let's be free from our woes, just for tonight

Fallen angels in search of a paradise
In this dreadful hell people call Life
A place of solitude just for us will suffice
A sweet serenity in this lifetime of strife

Let your kisses be my addiction
Let your breathing be music to my ears
Let me consume your lustful affliction
Let me dive and banish your silly fears

Let me loose myself in the city of angels
Let me bask in the glory of its bright lights
Let my demons burn from the touch of angels
Bring me to where you are and calm my sighs

You are the bright lights in my dim existence
You are my soothing calm in this endless storm
You satiate my longing just with your presence
In this midnight love affair all of me you've restored

Morning sunlight shines its rays on us
Warm blankets wrapped around your curvatures
The storms in our eyes gone in that quick rush
Vanishing in the dust in our one night adventure
Inspired by the music of Thirty Seconds to Mars. :)
337 · Sep 2017
Shadows on my Wall
Mister J Sep 2017
Heavy eyes slowly closing
Breathing gradually easing
Mind gently relaxing
Body surely falling
Reality falling asleep
As dreams come into focus
Old movie reels sweetly playing
Nostalgic as an autumn midnight

The darkness silently creeping
My friends are on their way
Laughing in my mind
Grinning all the way
Can you hear their fiendish voices?
Can you see their glowing eyes?
Do you hear their ghostly whispers?
Do you see them here tonight?

Meet my oldest friends
The shadows on my wall
With their hands cold as ice
And their eyes red as blood
With smiles of ghastly grins
And voices of shrieking glass
As darkness begins its embrace
Here they come at last

The shadows on my wall
My demons coming for me
My playmates in the dark
My addictive insanity
They’ll come and drag me
Bring me to their twisted paradise
And play with my shattered psyche
For a very long time

The darkness constricts my breathing
My nape cold and frozen
Chills running down my spine
Fear finally gripping in
Nightmares talking to me
Screaming and shouting at me
I can't get a grip of reality
Here comes the impending insanity

Save me from them
The shadows on my wall
They come for me tonight
And eat my sanity alive
Save me please
Cut these sinful bindings
As they drag me to
The hell and grave I opened
Here's a piece about personal demons.
I'm having some of them and the ideas came flooding in.
Talk to a friend and don't keep them to yourselves
332 · Sep 2017
Twisted
Mister J Sep 2017
What happens now?
The world is in chaos
Man is on the brink of war
Nation against nation
People against people
Kingdom against kingdom
Faith versus faith
Culture versus culture
Where should we stand?

What happens now?
Society is crumbling
Morality has been blurred
Injustice is prevalent
Power brings corruption
Opinions are silenced
Man against man
Woman against woman
What should we do?

What happens now?
Guns do all the talking
Missiles are launching
Bombs **** innocents
Weapons define supremacy
Money spent on war
Children joining the fight
Instead of studying hard
Will they be alright?

What happens now?
Money controls everything
Technology deviates attention
The poor get poorer
The rich are insensitive
Society swayed by false media
The truth left in ignorance
People aren't complaining
Will there be a bright future?

What happens now?
Our children are in danger
From our stupidity today
Color defines who we should be
Love is taught wrong
Vanity is glorified
Kindness is shamed
We all know what else exists
What else can I really say?

What happens now?
Our governments are deaf
To our cries for real change
When everything else crumbles
They suppress truth with lies
Rise up, people who see
That chaos reigns today
We need to have that changed
When do we start?
I guess even this twisted world can give some inspiration to writers. ;)
332 · Feb 2019
Stolen Heart
Mister J Feb 2019
I simply want to love without regrets
I simply want an honest relationship
And yet even with everything I give
I still get treated like a greedy kid

I love in the darkness, kept from all the pain
Yet I remain oblivious to who she really is
She stole my heart and took it with her
Yet here I am, left blinded and without her

I am tired..
I am broken..
I am hurt..
I am set aside..

Yet why do I still cling on
To broken dreams?
Why do I still hope for
The best reality?

She's lost
I want to stay here
I want to be the beacon
Yet she strays from me

I simply want to be with her
And yet her eyes look elsewhere
She shuns me away
I've been feeling tired

Goodnight dearest Hera
I pray for your bright tomorrow
Let me slumber for a while
And when tomorrow comes, please give back the heart you stole.
Pouring out these emotions

Goodnight

-J
328 · Sep 2017
Divide
Mister J Sep 2017
This space between us
I want to cross to get you
Screaming I miss you
323 · Aug 2017
Gravity
Mister J Aug 2017
Falling
You keep me
Falling towards you
Gravity pulling me down
Closing in to you
Momentum too fast
I can’t think anymore
You’re pulling me in
I keep on
Falling

Falling
I’m falling still
Drawn to your charms
The innocence of your eyes
Lingering on my mind
Those tender lips
Warmly touching mine
Sinking in too deep
I can’t stop
Falling

Feelings
I can’t understand
What makes me stay?
Is it the passion?
The depression or desperation?
You got me cornered
Pushed to the limits
I can’t escape you
Why do I keep
Falling?

Failing
All my defenses crumbling
Why can’t I resist you?
You’ve broken all my doubts
You’ve calmed my storms
You picked up my brokenness
And made me whole
I can’t deny this anymore
For you I am
Falling

Fading
All my agony you banished
What else will you do?
You've kept me hooked
To the scent of you
Your body syncing with mine
In perfect harmony
The pleasure eats my sanity
Just let me keep on
Falling

Fallen
I am left addicted to you
What else can I do?
To please you is my vow
Your happiness is mine
Your lust sustains me
Your love brings me sanity
You are everything to me
And yet every day you still keep me
Falling
Midnight writing.
Last one for the day.
321 · Aug 2017
Innocence
Mister J Aug 2017
My mind is blissful
My body feels light
The air feels cool and inviting
The sheets feel warm and soft
The tension slowly rising
Anticipating the next steps
Heartbeats resonating
Syncing in passion
Waiting for either one
To break the tension

Those eyes full of innocence
Piercing through me
Seeing these devilish intentions
Unveiling the mischief in me
Sensing that sinful wanting
And yet it still looks longing
A lamb walking to a lion’s den
Unsure of what will happen next
Leaning in for a kiss
From the gaping mouth of a hungry lion

Like floodgates in release
Gasping for each other’s air
The spice in your lips
Burning my every nerve
Every touch we make
Every breath we take
Sending shivers down our spines
The bite marks and scratches
Etched on our bare skins
As we consume each other’s being

Your body on top of mine
As if it wasn’t your first time
Commanding my every move
Controlling every direction
Engulfing my every being
Your snow soft skin
Melting into mine
Giving into the vibrations
Deeper and deeper
As time passed by

When morning light came
Even your shadow was gone
That tequila was too much I guess
It made me forget all the fun
That lustful encounter
Forever etched in my body
Burning through my mind
Through faded memories
I wish I could vividly remember
That wild night of September

The lamb becomes a lion
Untamed and unleashed
The innocence gone
The hunger ever-present
One that can never be satisfied
The lion becomes a lamb
Humbled and Unseated
His pride diminished
His shame unending
Unleashing passion that won’t ever be pacified
Second post. :)
320 · Sep 2017
The Search
Mister J Sep 2017
For all my life I've been searching
I've tripped, stumbled and I had lost my way
For all these years I've been yearning
I was fooled and blinded looking for the one to stay
For all the broken hearts I thought I could endure
I stood up, picked up the pieces and restored what remained
For all the tears that fell before I grew and matured
I tasted and swallowed the pain more than what I could sustain

Someday I know I'll find someone
To share this burst of life we all possess
Some way I know I'll get to where
I could come give you my love and caress
Somehow I know I'll get my chance
To prove to the world that I deserve your love
Someday I know I will find you
The fallen one sent for me from heaven above

The search began when we were apart
The search bore fruit when I found your heart
The search ends when our love begins to start
This search for the belle who scribbled her name on my heart

I think I found you.
Sept. 5, 2017, 4AM.
:)
317 · Sep 2017
Just You
Mister J Sep 2017
In my mind and heart
All I cherish and adore
Its just you dear love
Haiku #9
315 · Sep 2017
Apology
Mister J Sep 2017
The crystal moon glowed bright that night
The sky dotted with glistening starlight
The clouds drifting with the gentle wind
The rivers flowing in a symphonic stream

The forest trees looked strong and mighty
Towering all over the the mountain skyline
Yet in the cool breeze they seem to whisper
To soothe the ailing of a broken heart

She was alone, left cold and in the dark
Her quiet sobbing rings across the abyss
It seems every thing and being hears her pleas
Everyone except those who fell deaf, except me

Her tears were bursting like a raging river
Flowing with every frustration she endured
Her heart, once filled up by love for me
Swollen and bursting with all her angst

There I was, standing frozen like a glacier
My heart beating crazy, my mind going blank
That broken heart was on my bloodied hands
That broken smile caused by my poisonous lies

She, who found me at the times of my best
She, who stayed even when I was at my worst
She, who loved me all throughout my changing whims
And yet here I am, choosing to break her heart.

My only desire was to gain some worth
Setting aside what mattered to me most
I was stupid enough to cling to the temporary
as I pushed aside what was to be for a lifetime

So here I am standing in front of you
Choking on the pride I held for so long
Digging deeply within to find the courage to say
I'm sorry, I love you, please give me another way

Banish me from your heart if that is your price
Free yourself from my memories, both good and bad
But please hear me out, hear my humbled cries
Another chance is all I ask from you, don't say goodbye
Another Midnight post. :)
305 · Aug 2017
Stop
Mister J Aug 2017
When you lost your way and you don't know what to do
Stop
When you feel okay yet they don't think that you do
Stop
When you feel out of place and no one backs you up
Stop
When Life throws you off your feet and you can't stand back up
Stop

When they call you a friend yet they treat you none of it
Stop
When your fears start to unveil and no one wants to listen
Stop
When depression kicks in and you know you're gonna lose to it
Stop
When you want to pull the trigger and blow off your head
Stop

When you reach for Heaven yet they pull you back to Hell
Stop
When love is beyond reach yet you pointlessly struggle for it
Stop
When you search for salvation yet salvation cannot be seen
Stop
When the heart says yes yet the mind says no
Stop

When the sadness held within becomes unbearable
Stop
When everything you hold firm slips away from your grasp
Stop
When your childish dreams become your dreadful nightmares
Stop
When the heart succumbs to what it wants but can never have
Stop

When the heart seems dead and life seems an endless loop
Stop
When you reach for the end yet you can't go for it yet
Stop
Let this world become dead like the people within it
Don't let it Stop
This Rotten Life will eat us anyway, accept it
Don't let it Stop
Been posting a mix of old and new poems.
Yeah, I fell down a lot of times in my life
but, didn't we all?
305 · May 2020
5:04am
Mister J May 2020
Another sleepless night
My mind feels restless
My heart in confusion
What am I gonna do?

Would these worries go away?
As I learn and grow with age?
Should I just choose death
Rather than loving the undeserving?

I guess I don't have the answers today
Maybe tomorrow will shed some light
To these worries in my young life
I'll open my doors when the need arises

This paranoia is damning
I've had enough
Maybe a dream will do for now
And face the real thing tomorrow

After I go to sleep..
Inspired by my conversations with Saumya
Thank you for that!
Hope you all like this. 😁

-J
300 · Oct 2017
Outbursts of Depression
Mister J Oct 2017
What is this wretched feeling?
That eats all my happiness away
What is this weary feeling?
That secretly tears me away
What is this heavy feeling?
My chest being crushed by the weight
What is this dreadful feeling?
No matter what I do it doesn't dissipate

No matter how much I cry out
Nobody wants to listen
No matter how loud I scream
Nobody can hear my pleas
I feel like no one cares about me
Would you please help me?

Sometimes I just want to disappear
And take an adventure to a life without sadness
Would dying lead me to
A pain-free afterlife?
If Death greets me and brings calm
To my grieving, bleeding heart
I guess I won't hesitate
I just need to get out of here

Imagine that?
You still live in the flesh but
Your soul is way beyond rotten
And yet you can't do anything
But whisper it in silence
My heart pumps blood
But it never really is beating
My days go by without me struggling
Thinking about what to do with my life

I am depressed
It's no joke
I feel bad about me everytime
I see them getting somewhere
in this life but I'm still stuck
In the middle of
Nowhere

Can I really turn this around on my own?
I don't know what I should do?
I still want to live but everyday
I'm dying inside

I'm just depressed
I may also be insane
I don't know if I'm manic
Or just really anxious
So will anyone just sit down
And listen to me?

Listen to me?
Help me please?
Empathize with my suffering?
Hear me out?
Will you just stop?
And will you just
Listen to me?

Just...

Once..

??





I need help..
..
..



Will you help me?
From the perspective of a person suffering from depression
300 · Jan 2018
When it Ends
Mister J Jan 2018
Cherish the small sweet moments
Savour the nourishing morning kisses
Remember every beautiful memory
'Cause when everything ends it's a twisted tragedy

You'll be left in bed thinking like crazy
Asking why she went out that door
Never to be seen and touched again
Bringing with her a big chunk of your brokenness

When it all ends, what would you do?
Will you rise up and try to move on?
Or would you mope bitterly until you lose all reason?
3am thoughts.

-J
298 · Sep 2017
The Sweetest No
Mister J Sep 2017
You don't even want to start
Asking me why I chose you
Even I don't know my own heart
It just seeks to be with only you

I may have come in a flash of light
I may be a new and perplexing maze
But no, I'm not backing down without a fight
Bloodied and bruised just to catch your gaze

So no, I won't give up no matter what
We may never even know what tomorrow brings
No, I won't put that gentle smile in a tight spot
I just want a chance to be with you, among all things

You don't know how much I'm willing to spend
Just to say no to rejection, to be with you in the end
My niece recently asked my help with her English homework. It was about sonnets, and it kinda inspired me to write one regarding my current thoughts.

Been a few days since my last write. :)
296 · Sep 2017
Cold Hearts, Warm Touches
Mister J Sep 2017
Winter coming soon
The cold embracing my skin
Seeking your warm touch
295 · Apr 2018
Still Not Over
Mister J Apr 2018
Did you ever have that one great love,
That no matter how long since it ended,
No matter how much the sceneries changed,
No matter how many slept on your bed,
And spent with you the most happiest times,
No matter how much kisses they gave you,
And no matter how much you spent your life with them

They can't ever replace nor fill up that vacuum in your heart
That you gained when that one great love left?

That no matter how much you try to move on,
You spent a large chunk of your life
Just trying to get over her?

That no matter how much the others say 'I love you',
It still feels entirely different when she said them to you?

That no matter how much you try to look for someone else,
You can't just help it and end up missing her badly?

That no matter how much you try to be happy in life,
The grief and memories in your heart outweighs it all?

That whenever you try to meet someone new,
You can't help but seek her person in those other people?

That in every failed relationship you have
You always think about what would have been with her?

I have..

And I'm still trying to get over her,
Years after she left.

The happiness she now has equates to the misery I felt all those years of missing her..

I'll move on..

Eventually..

Probably..?

I just don't know when..
Traveling back to the city after a holiday in the countryside.
Was inspired to write along the way

So.. Did you have that same kind of love?
Do share.
Thanks for reading!
Happy Easter!
295 · Aug 2017
Lies
Mister J Aug 2017
Loneliness defines me
Solitude is my insanity
And in the deepest abyss
I find my place, my refuge

My youth has been lost
My heart chiseled and carved
Its pieces scattered in the winds
Hear me plead, don’t let me die

In this deep withered heart
The soul of a child lies
Yearning to break free
Be released into Paradise

Locked in a cold depression
Save me from this facade
Hiding behind a mask of contentment
Whereas I greedily yearn for atonement

Break my chains
Save my sanity
Give me Love
Bring me to Reality

Free my aching soul
Free my tired heart
Give me new strength
Don’t let me fall apart.

Hear my plea
Take me away
Hold me forever
In my arms, stay
294 · Oct 2017
More
Mister J Oct 2017
Your perfect silhouette carved on my mind
Your sweet bedroom voice on repeat in my ears
Your addictive lips lingering on my mouth
Your alluring taste still stuck on my tongue
Your subtle brown eyes triggers a cardiac arrest
The scent of your sweat still clings to my body
That steamy night still drives me wild
How you hold me tight and made me yours
God, its not even the best part

Whenever we wake up
Staring in each other's eyes
Feeling each other's touch
Gasping for the same, warm air
Exchanging each of our breaths
As our eyes meet and linger
I can't help but fall deeper
****, you're so beautiful
Both inside and out
I'm in love with your smile
The smile that fries my brains
That laugh that electrifies me
Those whispers that bring me ease
God I want them everyday

More
I want you
More

More
I love you
More

Give me more of you
Let me fall deeper
Don't let me escape
Hold me tight
Cling and never let go
Kiss me slowly
Don't let me pull away
For a gasp of air
Have your way with me
Just give me all of you
I want to see only you
To feel only your touch

Be the best part of my day
The source of my desires
Make me yours everyday
Keep me addicted to you
Make me want for more

More of you
More for me
And as I love you more
I'll make you love
more of me
Just kept on typing what was on my mind. A lot of jumbled words.
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