F@$k you life and the bitter taste you leave me,
All I ever did was try but words for this escape me!!
Locking my pain in this box [ ] ✔️
Our relationship just words
I said I love you
You never replied
Was our relationship a lie?
We always argued
We always fought
but I had faith
I would love to see the day
Where our love would not be carried away
By the words, we built it upon
Was I twisted for lying to myself
I wanted to believe you loved me
I wanted to say we were happy
We would have been proud
Did you know?
because it's true that
I believe I've written of the sun, sand and sea countless of times;
even when it's pouring down and even when the cold december wind is tugging at the strings of my heart.
The last time I wrote of my summer,
I told myself that the next time I would, it would be from experience and not of make-believe.
Why should I write of the seagulls' noises when all I ever heard this year were the familiar chirps of the Maya birds?
I just trick myself into thinking that the chirps of a Maya is much more relaxing anyway.
Why should I write of the heat that burns past through my skin then onto my heart when I get to feel the same heat while walking the streets to and from our old house?
I could achieve my dream tan by doing that twenty times a day.
Why should I make poems out of the waves and shells when life here in the city is enough to drown me lifeless but could also leave me so dry at the same time?
Even more ironically, I never went out of my room—my safe shell that I never actually felt safe in.
April and May, farewell and apologies.
I took you for granted and now I must wait another weary, barren year and daydream for my summer.
All I wanted was to go to the beach.
shaking frustrations, heart aching situations,
she breaks her fingers in a brick wall confrontation
red/black/orange/purple seep from the opaque -
white knuckles, squeezing tight
she rips the papers, shreds she dreads
broken frames, abandoned - afraid,
the expectations, sit heavy - break her neck
her head hangs
fists and wrists - left -
Would it be better
If I screamed and cried?
Would it be better
If I tried to die?
Would that be right?
I don't know
What it is you want
"I want what's best for you"
I don't know what I want
Have I told you I might want
To join the military
I'm not sure what division
But I want to fight on my countries side
But when the law was passed
You, with relief, comically said
Guess you can't run off and join
It was one of the
First times you actually
Liked me for being a boy
You are not accepting
No matter what you say
You deal with me
And care only when necessary
You don't want to lose me
So you attempt to accept me
But you do not truly care for me
I worry what you would think
If I told you I
Dont believe in a god
Or a heaven
Or a hell
I have a more Buddhist type of beliefs
I haven't believed in a god
For awhile now
But I haven't told you
Because it doesn't matter
I don't see why it should affect us
The same way
Me being your son
You need therapy
You can't fix yourself
You can't fix your anger
Or your hatred
Because it's stemmed from somewhere
So deep inside of you
That you can't remove it
You've let it grow for so long
That you need help to
This has turned into a rant
But I don't feel bad about that
Because you never let me get
A single word in
I deserve someone on my side
Dad has said
If it comes down to it
He would pick you over us
Because he can lose us
But not you
So no matter what you say
In a conversation
He is always 100% on your side
He will never be on mine
Not even a little bit
Because you are who matters to him
I do not
And I wonder
Do you refuse
To have a mediator
Because then you might lose
Either way you lose
You lose an argument
And make a compromise
Or you lose me
And that's it you dont get a compromise
You wouldn't deserve one
Behold my manifesto.
To all who cross me, know only pain comes in your wake.
To all who betray me, know that your fruits have been cursed with rot.
To all who decieve me, know that such deceptions lie in your future afterwards.
To all who attempt to sip my blood from its very veins, know that
for you, my heart and soul is only poison, and bares no good will towards you.
My good fortune only feeds on your ever-growing tragedies;
as you get worse, I only grow stronger.
I sip your on your misery like golden heated porridge in a soft summer breeze
sitting on a porch with a lovely view and a rocking chair, as I smile
and see only ash and fire from the distance
of your home.
And when you come and scorn my name and everything I stand for,
know that I will only say,
gleaming with only a smile sculpted from the gods themselves,
"I have no enemies."
Frustrations plague me
Bringing me down on my knees
Your smile brings me ease
Smile. It can lighten someone's day up. :)
Path by Path
and a semblance of a man.
Apple trees grow
A garden of sin, of life
where I cannot find an apple
but I can an Orange
When life gives you
But this is an orange
A cup of