This chest is no more than a shallow love pit. There are steep, steep worries at the front of my mind. Avalanches of fears tumble down dark slopes, only to land directly on top of me, with no sign of easing pressure. My ears pop pop pop and I am climbing higher, but feeling lower...

Swerve... Collide, no, swerve again.

Unpredictable lifestyles are my least favourite. Surprise!  Panic attack. My shallow love pit aches.

Let me rest, oh please, just let me sleep... Although I am afraid of what tomorrow might bring; bruises, bumps, memories, fun... Terrifyingly unpredictable, to say the least... So let me rest, oh please, oh please. Literally begging, whilst on my knees.

Unfortunate tidal waves of confusion add to the melodrama and I wish to let myself drown. Would anyone help me? There is no saviour at the bottom of the ocean, nor the bottom of a bottle, but please, please, let me drown... Because even drowning sounds better than living this insomnia of a life.

I had always been content with simply floating around, but now that you are here, everything feels different... So let me sink to the bottom of a bottle. Let me rest at the bottom of the ocean. Let me go all the way through life at the bottom, the bottom of anything... For I know that I was not made to make it to the top.

Shoot me with a shot of ***** and drown me with a lot of drink... I do not need your pity, I only need to sink. Don't let me down, just let me drown...

I've had too much time to think.

You possess full ownership
To the key to my heart's door
And it means an awful lot
To not only have a spot

High upon your shelf, but
To feel you open the padlock,
Tiptoe in, your smile against mine,
And tuck, and lock, yourself inside

I feel like nothing but a broken toy that's been left in the attic to become forgotten, covered in webs of disinterest and potential nostalgia.

Although, in this scenario, I appear to be magnetic and you appear to be the strongest, rarest form of metal known to mankind, to my kind.

I am drawn to you constantly, mindlessly, and I cannot control it. I don't always notice anymore.

It shoots straight over my head as I soar across the high skies to reach you... Following my heart, my ultimate compass.

North Pole... South Pole... How long until I'm yours again? I can't stay still, I can't stay far.

I love you. No matter how broken I may feel, I still feel immense love as my heart's parts restart, for you. You have given me life yet again.

I exist to tend to your heart's needs and join you on your life's adventures. I'm eternally yours and you are just as much mine.

So, wind me up and burn me out, I beg of you... By the end of the day, we'll both be smiling and we will remain. I could never stay away in the first place.

How could one yearn so badly
Yet not strive for said desire ?

My purchases are less of a luxury
But more of a dependency

And my heart is set on a necessity
So, as much as I will cry in wait,

I will need assistance in motivation
Please help me save (for) myself

The same old routine's dragging on
Our zombied bodies slump along
We philosophise more and more
Making our forgetful brains sore

For we are rotten, we are gross
But isn't that just how life goes?
We all will fall, we all will die
Nothing matters so we ask why

We have to live, we have to be
We have to pretend we're happy
Because in actuality
No one lives for eternity

So what's the reason for our race?
Is it for love or for disgrace?
There is no clear answer just yet
Or else there was, but we forget

My vivid imagination dreamt up
Ghosts in my eyes, in my ears.
I did not leave my home that day.

I could feel the children staring,
Could hear them screaming at me,
But I could not tell you why.

I tried to listen, to help them out,
But they were out of sight before
I could confirm anything at all.

This was separate from the occasion
On which they helped us both out.
I guess it's a love-hate relationship.

I am not lonely
My thoughts go everywhere that I do
Always watching over me
Wanting me to watch them, constantly

They want attention
and more
I give it to them subconsciously
Without putting up a fight
of any sort

I'm easy, flexible...
You can count on me
Even if the favour is never returned

15, 15, 15...
I was always lonely
Searching for the missing part of myself

I always suspected that it would be a boy
or girl
That filled the void...
Not this
This is not love
Yet

But I can say that I've stopped searching
And maybe it is from lack of motivation
From depression
Or lack of depression?
But I feel less afraid of being alone
Less afraid of being me

I'm becoming happier with myself
I'm changing, changing all the time
And feeling less empty with each day

Is it because of this?
Well I'm not all that sure
Yet
But I suspect it

For I haven't even considered romantic attraction
in some time
And maybe loneliness was what stirred
My need for intimacy before
And maybe now I'm not so lonely
Maybe now I'm finding peace

Within my own intimate thoughts
Within myself
Within this...
15?
15... I think I love you.
**I do.

I yearn for solidarity,
To know once and for all

To reach into the sky, claim whatever is there, bring it down and ask...
"How do you like it?"

Being down, that is

Feeling lost and confused in an unfamiliar world,
A world that is yours

I cannot find the answers I seek
I cannot find the words to speak

I simply wait (and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait)
Until I no longer can

And then I wait some more

This appears to finally approach an end,
So why won't my doubt?

Alas, the more I question, the less I know
The more it comes, the more it goes

And so, I wait some more

Does one simply adjust to happiness or does it fade away in time? Can one ever be truly satisfied? What is contentment if not love? What is love if not fickle? Will this love fade in time? I hope not, for I'm finally happy.

I will love you tomorrow
I will love every bone in your body
And every hair on your head

You can paint them black today
But even when every single one has greyed
I will keep your secrets

And when you do give up,
I will not
I will love every part of you

Every mood that is brought
With successess and struggles
Every blemish that will flourish on your baby-soft skin

Forgive my hands for touching your face
I know that it's sensitive,
But also far too lovely

Still, they both shake every time
With fear of damaging your near-perfect fragility

And we all have our vices,
But your smile is my sunshine
It warms me in ways that I dare not try describe

It is so gentle, so kind
A look really can speak a thousand words

And your grin tells me that everything will be okay
So I think that we'll be okay

And I will love you tomorrow

Falling, falling, until I hit the ground. This is not new. I remember a time in which I used to let the little things go. But when you have cheeks so soft and lips so red... What do you expect me to  do? I hit the ground and I know that it is rock. Rock bottom. I consider calling out to you, but there would be no point. No one ever hears me. Or do they simply choose not to listen? Now the rock is, what, melting? I do not know, but I am drowning. Drowning my sorrows. I can not swim today. I am weak. So I ask you again... What do you expect me to do? Because, in this moment, I can not function. I can not breathe. I can not bare to be alone for any longer. I want you. I want power. I want to be able to swim right back up to the top. I want a voice that can be heard and a face that can be seen, minus the obvious, burning-red, embarrassment... As I slip away, I think of you. I think of what you might think of me. Can you hear the quiet, quiet voice? Can you see the weakness? Now I have almost disappeared completely... I wonder if anyone will notice before I am gone. **Doubtful.

There's poetry in simple things
And pain in far more
There's beauty in a million things
But one in particular

The yearn for security
The lack of it, and warmth
Tonight I lay here, only me
Tossing, turning, feeling torn

I love your eyes I love your hair
I love your clothes and how they fit you
I love these bright, shining lights
And the pure ways in which they hit you

My hand begins to slide
Slowly, slowly, up your leg
Soon I see your eyes roll up
And to the back of your head

My name trembles on your lips
My warmth hovers on your tongue
You say that we're just friends
I agree with "sure, it's just fun"

But we both know that this is deeper
Yet neither of us want to admit
That careless ******* does not come close
To what this really is...

You whisper, you shiver
Pull me close until I quit
You let out a breath of air
As I lean in to bite your lip

Swore I wouldn't let myself
Fall in love ever again
But I guess your body upon mine
Was enough to let me just forget

I am done with emotionless love
I'm sick to death of being hurt
I won't let you get away, oh no
I will always put you first

So I turn the lights back on
Let them lick your bare skin now
I thought that I loved you before
I think I spoke too soon somehow

Your body sparkles in the glow
I pull you closer yet again
Confess my love and let you know
We are so much more than just friends

Oh, I hope this never ends...

The permanence of the effect of our existence and actions terrifies me. This contemporary mood swings both ways, however. My love for love outweighs and overthrows my need for food, for sleep, for air to breathe... And you, I am in awe of... My eyes do not see anything else. My heart does not desire anything else. Forever blinded by pretty girls, my naïve eyes and thoughts are focused on you. My naïve heart beats just for you. I am way too full-on, far too all-at-once, but you admire that about me and I deeply, deeply admire you.

As her filthy eyes explore my broken body, they painfully infect my fresh wounds and scars... "What have you done to yourself?" I look down, expecting to see my body, but I can no longer see it. I can no longer see her. I fall to my knees, drowning in self-shame. I no longer pity myself - I only hate, I only hate.

"Who are you, honestly?" I can't tell if she's asking me or if I am questioning myself. I am not ashamed to admit that I don't know who I am anymore. I haven't known for a long time and I am desperate for answers...

I NEED ANSWERS.

"Tell me the truth." I would if I could, but the poisonous problem is that I am a stranger to myself. I pay close attention to what I say and what I do, all day every day, and yet I still haven't learned a single thing about myself.

"Tell me, tell me now." I can't tell you the truth if I can't even tell myself... I can not face it, not today. I am not ready, not today.

"I need answers." Is that not what I've been saying all along? Aren't you listening to me? Why aren't you listening to me?

But that's just it... No one ever listens... Not until it's too late.

"What have you done to yourself?" I look down, expecting to see my body, but I can no longer see it... I can no longer see anything. It's too late, it's too late. And do you know what? I still do not pity myself - I only hate, I only hate when it's too late...
And it's too late for me,
**today.

I was a reckless driver
And caused countless crashes
In my earlier naïve days

And then when I was hers
She became the first one
To crash into me

So I tried to drive him
But he was just too fast
And I crashed him

Alas, I'm re-learning to drive
With a nice new old car
And she is smooth running

And makes my car race
So I'll grip the steering wheel
Tighter tomorrow

She said that she didn't understand how I wasn't sick of her yet, after spending so much time together.

I tried to imagine getting sick of her, but how could I? How could you ever possibly get sick of music?

I take her everywhere with me. She plays softly in the background, almost constantly. I love all of her and appreciate her filling the silence for me.

Sure, there were a few times where I wished that I could have just skipped on to the next song, but I always let her play through from start to finish.

From the second first kiss to the dramatically painful record scratch... From her debut to my heartbreak.

I could never get sick of her. She is, and always will be, my favourite song.

So I'll burn the empty coke cans
And hope that they explode
I'll walk a day in your shoes
Hitting self-destruct over and o-

-ver, until it kills me