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Despair Oct 27
I was mad at him,
My best friend.
He abandoned me to hang-out with the girl the destroyed who I really was and wanted to be.
Why, her?
You left for the girl next to her,
you loved the girl next to her.
I got mad and now all I have is the thought of you.
You hate me now...
I can't stand this hate.
(I tried to **** myself later that night)
I can't stop asking myself,
Did I do something to hurt you?
I probably did.
Sorry for being a mistake.
(I tried to **** myself again)
We are all sat at the table together,
You poke me to get my attention,
I am still mad,
I slapped your hand away and stared you down.
You now don't sit with us.
You won't answer me.
I tried to ask, "Do you hate me now?"
Your silence told me, "Yes, I hate you"
I had a friend ask you
you didn't respond,
Why hate them too?
I don't feel bad now.
Your views were twisted anyway,
"Women have to shave, and cook, they shouldn't be strong."
Your views were twisted.
I will forget now just like you have done to me.
I lied by the way Andrew
You weren't the seventh person to leave me
you were the fifteenth to leave
Addison, Carly, Alaina, Emma, Mackenzie, Zoey, Leah, Chase, Trent, Sophia, Kaytlen, Doug, George, Emily, And you Andrew
Some of these people had no choice to leave me,
some lied to me like Addison and Carly,
they lied for years.
I gave up because of them.
Now I cry because of you.
I counted these people,
all of them
I count the days until everything becomes drowned in light and everything is finally ok.
But Addison started all of this,
I can't hate her forever,
but I can be mad now and I have something to say,
I have wanted to say this for a long time,
I am sorry if I hurt you, I forgive you though, good luck Addison.
Andrew why her thought?
Why Carly?
You recognize her name on that list right?
I don't see how or why?
I have scars because of these people my arms are a battlefield of scars and cuts.
I saw you as a brother, you lost the nick-name Mikasa.
I cry because I can't live like this anymore.
I shut myself away to hide my real self.
I created someone to take your spot, that's how bad things have gotten.
Her name is Rose.
She is my psychotic side.
We are both sociopaths
I dreamt of killing people.
I came up with 14 different ways to **** that I didn't get away with
and 3 different ways to **** that I got away with.
I am not ok.
I was never ok.
I create characters that are perfect and ones that are exactly opposite,
I ran different scenarios of what I could have done to salvage what little I had.
In real life, I took the wrong route.
Sorry Andrew but I can't take thinking about caring now.
Because you were the 15th person I am locking my real emotions away, so you know I will lie because of you and those others.
Ask yourself,
Is this what you wanted?
This is a reflection of what happened over the about past two weeks. These are all real people and this is all true. They know who they are.
Sorry everyone I care about.
Rose told me to write this to tell you everything since you won't talk to me.
Today is my birthday
In which I was born 15 years ago.
Happy? I am not.
Do I know why? No.
kayla Sep 23
Because who would believe me
15 years old,
and dressed like a ****
I have to tell him at some point, but I do I break it to him that he wasn’t my first that someone took that from me long time ago, that I almost killed my because I thought I was pregnant. I don’t know what to say or how to bring it up. I don’t want to make him sad or worry.
KingOfHearts Jul 2
I whimper
No tear was shed
I'm not that scared
Nor am I dead
I will not run
Nor shall I hide
I'm standing tall
Not out of pride
Call me your toy
Break me till down
I'm not that weak
I'm lucid, sound
With all this light
And shaded seas
I feel a battle within me
Screaming I shan't
Nor will I grin
I know the end
I know I'll win
I hold a hand
Not one, but three
I'm carried up
No shade on me.

Emily Oct 2017
When I walk to work I keep my earphones in
Music doesn’t even have to play
Maybe that way I can ignore the whistles
Just 4 more blocks and I’ll be there

Okay things are looking good
Those group of men aren’t outside today
I can relax now
Just 3 more blocks and I’ll be there

Wait no that car is slowing down
Please don’t say anything to me
“Hey baby”
Just pretend you don’t hear it
Don’t look his way
He will just keep on driving
Just 2 more blocks and I’ll be there

Okay now there’s another group of men
I see children outside that home all the time
They wouldn’t dare catcall me when they have daughters of their own
Just incase put in the other earphone so they think you can’t hear them
They keep staring
Oh no they’re going to say something
That dreadful whistling begins
“Hey girl”
It goes on until I pass and have shown no sign of response
Just 1 more blocks and I’ll be there

Okay now the earphones go out
I have to put my phone away before I get into work so I can be prepared to answer phones
Just don’t make eye contact with any men
“Hi beautiful”
“How you doin today”
“What you shy”
Yup now I’m done
“Nah I’m actually 15 and my day was going great”
He’s not walking away
Please leave me alone
Don’t worry just 3 more doors

“I love your hair”
Oh are you sure it wasn’t my ***
But I don’t dare say that
Don’t worry just 2 more doors

“You got a phone”
“Can I get your number”
Was the age not enough, is this man ******
Maybe I’ll just say I’m *** and he’ll leave me alone
Don’t worry just 1 more door

“Okay I see”
“See you again”
No thank you
Please don’t try to speak to me again
I can’t wait till I can just drive to work

I’ve made it inside
In here there are other people around
I will smile to keep from being rude
While declining any source of unwanted attention
Can they not see I’m a child
I tell them I’m only 15 years old
Sometimes that doesn’t matter
Now I just want to go home
Women do not owe you their time or conversation. Women are not outside for your entertainment.
Arturo Hernandez Sep 2017
A game,
Thats how it began.
I never suspected
One with your face
Would come
and ask to play.

All of us
Staring unashamed,
Me specially
As I slowed time down
To watch you
Frame by frame.

My eyes kept looking,
My hands were shaking,
"What do I say?"
My heart was yelling.
I pretended I hurt my hand -
My first instict
Was to run away.

I never told you how I felt,
And yet you knew it anyway.
I won't forget the day you came to me,
And told me you felt the same.

I purposefully walked away,
But you chased me,
You made me say
How I felt since that first day,
And now I wish
We had never met.
Raghu Menon Apr 2017
The heat
Is it outside
Or inside of me
Either way
It is becoming
emme m Mar 2017
so it happens. people die. some too early, some too late. does it even matter when?
life’s full of ups and downs. i didn’t get to experience the best things in life. to get a child. to love someone so deeply, that you know it’s him you want to spend the rest of your life with.
but not the worst either. to loose someone close to you. to get hurt deeply in your heart.
so it’s actually okay. life's the best, but also the worst. **i loved it.
if i die, show this to my mom and dad.
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