You're
like....

My
     Sanity

in
   a
       world
   full
          of
            *Crazy

Why?
How can I feel this way?
I feel myself
Losing you
Pushing you away
Purposely
Like, just talking to you
Is torturing me
Yet, I need you
WHAT THE **** DO I DO?
I don't wanna hurt anymore
I want the pain to go away
I don't know what I'm living for
I don't know how I got this way
How do I say
THIS IS TOO MUCH TO TAKE
To handle
To deal with
Torn, ripped in directions
I never thought existed
Expectations
Non granted wishes
ALL FOR NOTHING
Cause I'm still broken
Not even worth fixing

But you
You're worth so much more
None of the guilt
None of the shame
Is worth anything
**** IT ALL
Just forget my name

There's a few days
When
I don't think
About you

Those amount to
A total of two
And one of
Those days
I slept
Through

The other
I was too
High to see
And

Too concentrated
On breathing
To feel
The expanse
Of my heart
Breaking


What does this mean to you?

More than something

But not enough to make it all go away...

"The walls around me slowly close in threatening to crush me between my throes of guilt and shame"

Walls like towers
Made of questions of "why's"
And distorted old stories
That reach the sky
Bred of agony and despair
Watching you slowly die
Gone, as if you were never there
Don't suffer through the fate of lies
Scream out the rage and make yourself care

"A threshold where I fall off the edge just to find myself back on the verge"

A door like desperation
Walking through to whence you came
Revolving around, teasing your mind
Like a revolver with bullets of shame
Shooting you between the eyes, every time
Lodging in your brain
Never leaving, or something you can find
Opening and closing; playing you like a toy in a game
Break down the door, smash through to the other side
Tear it off the hinges, don't even save the frame

"I beat upon the glass to shatter it,
but find only my hope's breaking"

Windows like pictures
Of things in the past
That you can no longer have
How long can the struggle really last
Before your insides bubble, boil and burn with regret
Time to find a way around the pane, fast
As the windows gets smaller and you completely forget
All the good in life of your past
Calm yourself, release your guilt,
Don't let feelings of which you can't control amass

"It'll all come crashing down, how much can this brittle barrier bear before a familiar, fickle fate is found?"

A roof like design
Made of the limits you've thrown upon yourself
Images vivid, destructive and divine
Playing projections of depth and death
Inception in the back of your mind
Telling you you're simply not good enough
Rise up, reach out and surely you will find
You are truly made of stronger stuff

"This is my house of Hell and Horror and to it, I will always belong. I never knew finding home could ever go so wrong"*

A *house like hell
Horrors and demons of your scarred heart
Built up, surrounding you in agony and pain
Ripping out your core, tearing you apart
Sweltering in the heat of lies you contain
Never finding the ending, or where to restart
*Keep faith, light a fire, don't live in vain
Burn it, smoke out the truth and purify the hearth
Watch the flames destroy it all, until nothing remains
Look out to the world, at all that now surrounds you
And silently wait for the rain

"Pain turns hope into scars that burn"* ~~ *Rose


Painfully aware
Of things I see
And I do not dare
Touch what I believe
One single caress
And hope diminishes
What you're left with
Is empty promises
And unfulfilled wishes
The remnants of faith
Are simply ugly markings
Left upon your body
Causing a fire of darkness
And smoke rising
Made of sadness
That disappears
Into the atmosphere
Until you're left with...





Absolutely nothing

She can't stop
It's uncontrollable
She just wants to turn it off
She just wants a switch
Turn them off for good
All emotions...
Especially love
For forever
It only causes her pain
Unrequited love
The worst of all
"Friend Zoned"
Backed against the wall
Last attempt
Wasted down the drain
She watches it swirl down
Then drops the knife
Sinking sowly to the ground
No heart + No life
= nothing, empty
and she's finally happy

Something that stands out so completely;* Resilience, is not so very discreetly kept locked away from the planets you shine on, to their envy. ~~ *Frank Ruland

Yes, I shine
I smile
I carry on through the days
But my light gets dimmer
Each passing moment
With nothing to shine on
I simply fill darkness with light
I don't bring anything
Those planets that envy?
They're crazy...
I shoot past,
The speed of light
(really fast)
What is there to be jealous of?
My speed...
My strength...
My bright, shining glow...
That may be so,
But what are all these things worth
If I have to do it all alone?



Absolutely Nothing

You tricked me
Made me believe there was something
Yet, here I am
With no light to guide me
Feeling like nothing
I loved you, still do
But something's changed in you

I thought you were a lighthouse
Out of reach, maybe
But guiding me to safety...
Turns out you were the wind
Causing waves of hurt
To crash over me

Now the light has dimmed
And I can't find my way
Not without you
But you led me astray
I'm drowning, dying,
I can't breathe
And "I'm sorry" was all you had to say

I don't need you
I've seen others sail on their own
How hard can it be?
But my muscles are weak
My lungs are filling with salt
That spills out of my eyes
I can't do this alone

But that's how you've left me
To fare the dreadful ocean waves
With a broken sail and no mast
Joining lost souls in watery graves
Because your bright light never shone past

You're dead inside
I see it now, clear as the light
You stole from me
There was no lighthouse,
Just me, chasing after a dream
That I didn't really need
And now there's only darkness
As far as I can see

You love them
With all your heart and soul
Yet, you can't be with them
But you'll never let them go...
And it hurts...
Trust me, I know...
People... Stay strong
Someone better may come along
You're thinking..
"But, they're the one I want"
I've thought this too,
Still do...
"Unrequited Love: Life's way of saying you can do better"
But, even if you never end up together
You can still be there for each other
Sometimes, love can be one sided
Don't let that divide you
If you love someone for selfish reasons
Then you love them not at all
Cause when they don't return the love,
A true love will be there to catch them when they fall
Will care, laugh and respect every wish
Will listen after every date, hit or miss
Will wipe away the tears
And brush off the knees
Stick around through the best and worst years
Be a shoulder, when they need somewhere to lean
They may never love you back
Even when you know they should
Love's not meant to be selfish
It's about doing what's right and good

You were
      One
I was
         two
Now I'm the
         *third

The shimmering light has died
         The image of you slowly
                    fades out
I will cry,
       I am crying,
                I have cried.
The darkness consumes the doubt
                The hail Mary,
        the pass over the line
    It's too much,
             I can no longer reach out
This knife is too pretty
         and *I'm not fine

"Be careful who you call a King"**

All the romantic girls want a 'knight in shining armour'
All princesses want some noble king to sweep them off their feet
All the bad girls want a rebel who's mean with lots of green
Well... I'm all three

I want the joker
Who can outwit the knight in a fight with only his words
Who can make the king laugh with accents and gestures so absurd
Who can cause the rebel to cry and fly away like a scared little bird
I want the joker

I'm a poet
I need the joker to take away the sadness in the words I write
I need the joker to willingly fight for me with his own life
I need the joker to stand tall and proud, yet admit when he's not right
I need the joker to love me fully, unbiasedly and with all his might
I'm a poet

Knights are overrated
Kings are old and outdated
Rebels are deathly fated

Jokers are an eternity
Cause laughter can surely never die
Jokers are everything
Cause my heart will surely never cry

Throw me to the wolves

See if I don't come back
Leading the pack

Don't you know me
Better than that?

Resilience

Never forget
I'm the girl who loves you

I'm strong and true
I'll come out growling

Barring my teeth for the world to see

I dare you
Just try and hurt me

You won't succeed
I'm swinging and biting

Just try and push me down
I'll stare at the ground

Mesmerized by the sound
Of me clawing your eyes out

I got some fight left in me
Resilience

You'll see....
Tread carefully
My claws are at the ready

I got my whole pack behind me
Literally
Ready to snap necks and chew flesh

The Girl Who Loved You is here to stay
Standing strong
Despite what you say

Resilience
Everyday

Leading this pack of wolves
Never astray

I'm tired
Tired of trying
Of being the nice girl
Of everyone calling me a sweetheart
Tired of always being the second choice
Of constantly having my life fall apart
Of having no one write me love poems
Tired of having nothing
Of never getting what I want
Of being so lonely
Of never getting what I deserve
Tired of feeling so **** sad
Of never getting the chance to be happy
Of thinking back to that knife
I'm so tired of being tired
I'm just tired of life



I don't wanna be tried
I thought you'd help me finally sleep
Now, my tiredness causes nightmares
And I've given up my chance at my dream

My tears are laced with sorrow
Making puddles that I'll fall in tomorrow
And I'll forget the love and joy
That I once borrowed
I've given it back
Without realizing that
The pain and hurt I use to fill my coffee
Just makes every sip all the more bitter
But with every drink I pour,
I lose another day of life
So I use my tears as creamer
And your words, jokes and humor
As the sugar
Yet nothing gets sweeter
And **I'll die all the more sooner

Surpassing
The heights of all before
In my eyes
You're the perfect disguise
That and so much more
In need of a queen?
I can fulfill your dreams
Every nightmare that makes you scream,
I'll help make them paralyzed
And in my eyes, you'll see the stars
Depths and universes filled with sorrow
Yet, I could fly you to Mars
And protect you from every heat of tomorrow
The pain, hurt, guilt and regret
That you feel, I'll take it away
And no matter how bad it gets
I'll do it until the sun and moon's dying day

Tedious
Half-Baked
Egotistical
Erreneous

Assin­ine
Ridiculius
Troll
Inarticulate
SUBPAR
Tast­eless
Execrable

Laughable
Obnoxious
Grotesque
­Hopeless
Amateurish
Incompetent
Narcissistic

C­ounterfeit
Abominable
Reprehensible
Vainglorious
O­dious

You want me to HATE you?
        To yell, cuss and scream?
How could I do that to you?
             I'm living a nightmare,
      and you're my dream...

You want me to call you names?
    Say you're an *******, idiot, and worthless?
          How could I do that to you?  
    You're my only star,
           when I'm feeling hopeless

You want me to give you,
         What you think you deserve?
   Say you hurt me by being evasive, cowardly and untrue?
        How could I do that to you?
    I don't lie to or hurt the people I love...
          And you simply mean too much

       You want me to tell you a secret?
    Tell you how I'm hurt, crying and ashamed?
         How could I? It's not really true.
     You're stuck in my heart for good
And I've already forgiven you.

Embarrassment soars through me
Since last night and all this lonely day
I don't wanna make you feel worse
But it's your fault,
Just cause you didn't have the nerve to say
The Truth
Yet, that's all I've ever said to you
Open and honest, straight to my core
I'm not sure I've felt this betrayed before
A best friend if there ever was,
But they say those you love can hurt you worse
Than any enemy or anyone you hate
I think I loved you first
But it don't matter now, isn't that great?

And still...

"No matter what you say or what you do, when I'm alone I'd rather be with you. **** these other ******, I'll be right by your side, till 3005."

Whether in love or simply friendship
I could never leave your side
It's crazy how much you mean to me
I'm still hurt and so very angry
I understand why you did what you've done
Doesn't mean that I think it's okay
But I'll still love and care about you
Until my dying day

Because...

"No matter what you say or what you do, when I'm alone I'd rather be with you. **** these other ******, I'll be right by your side, till 3005."

I can't hate you, even though you think you deserve it
And I can't deny that's true
But whether you like it or not
You're stuck in my heart with super glue
But seriously...
Don't ever ******* lie to me
Or keep secrets from me
I don't deserve it
Silence is better than *******...

I let myself hope
And of all the guys
In my past
You were and still are
The nicest, the sweetest
And up until this moment
I thought I'd finally
Fallen for someone
Who wouldn't ever hurt me
But I guess that's what I get
For dreaming
For hoping
I think I'm done with that now
Once, twice.. coincidence
Three times...
It's common sense
It's me, not you

Here I am again
Picking up the shattered remains
Of my already falling apart heart
Accidentally slicing a cut on my wrist
With one of the tiny little shards
The pain, such sweet heavenly bliss

It's not that I miss you, cause you were never really mine
It's not that I regret loving you, I'd repeat it every time
But my pain has caused you misery that I'm not sure I fully understand
And the guilt lays think upon you, much more than I ever had planned

It's that I had this single drop of hope,
That my wish to have you
Might actually one day come true
But no, just another impossibility
That I'd find love and truly be happy

It ***** my childish ways and innocence were ripped away at such a young age
The one thing you want more than anything, was the one thing they had to take
And I know it sounds silly, but I hate them more now cause I blame them that I can't have you
My nightmares will come when I finally sleep, unfortunately, waking up is a nightmare too

I guess it's time to change my ways, although I've said this time and time again
This chemistry, that I thought was different, better, was just all imagined in my head
A change of heart, a change of soul, a change of my mind and a lack of passion
So many things I can't change, makes it my fault then. Wouldn't it be easier if I were dead?

Her heart pounds uncontrollably
         Thoughts are spinning
     incessantly
She cannot fathom
                a right choice
   So she purposely
       silences her voice
           Why should she go through
    pain for others
When no one will walk through fire
        for her
Why should she get out of the rain
            and thunder
     When everyone shows her
            nothing but anger
   Life is not what SHE chooses,
         she has no say
The only choice she can make,
       is her dying day
           She'll be forgotten
    from then on out
Only memories of a
               pathetic useless girl
       Little did they know,
her pen met paper every night
      So she left words of sadness
for the whole **** world

My heart is having an affair
       with sarcasm
     My mind doesn't want to admit
            the truth
          My soul is in a blissful state
                 of irony
                My eyes are blind to anyone
                       but *you

Christmas.... ugh
Isn't this a perplexing situation?
I have an interesting question...
First, I know this poem is not perfection
But does any one know what it's like
To be utterly alone on what's supposed to be
A most joyous day, surrounded by friends and family?
That annoying cherubic man
Won't be visiting my home
It's just an idiotic holiday
And no one cares I'll be alone
No homemade Christmas dinner
I might make myself a grade A steak
I'll raise a toast to myself
Nothing to boast about
Probably just whiskey, bottom shelf
I immense-ly hate Christmas
Say I'm dense-ly, I don't care
Been that way as long as I can remember
From the makeshift tree, when I was three
To being stuck homeless in a snow drift at sixteen
I can count all the "merry Christmas's" I've received
On one hand
It's never been merry, or happy
Most I got was engorged on stuffing
And a poorly cooked, dried out Turkey
No presents under the tree
With a gift tag saying Melanie


You know what? Sorry Quin,
but this is too **** depressing...
I quit...

Tequila, Velveeta
Distant, instant
Solemn, Gollum
Under-wear, I don't care
Tiny, finely
Flightless, loneliness
Hindrance, appliance
Backward, forward
Orange, purge
Rooftop, please stop
Kringle, Pringles

Ha! Invitations?
No...
Salutations...

I always tell the truth
     Every moment of the day
I always write what I'm feeling
     And what I really wanna say
I don't ever let myself get walked on
     Or abused or put through pain
I never hide my face with sunglasses
     Or let my tears fall silently like rain
I've never gone back to a man whos cheated
     Or beat me or made me feel less than nothing
I've never based my opinions of others on my past
     Or cut myself so I could at least feel something
I'm never gonna make another mistake
    Or fail or treat someone unkind
I've always thought I was worth more than others think
    And I've never lost my mind

Her nails digging into the tree,
her legs opened wide.
He sunk deep within,
filling ever inch inside.
Mating calls meshing,
moans and grunts rent the air.
He begins to move faster,
while pulling on her hair.

I can't believe he's this deep inside me,
It's so **** heavenly,
I burst out with a primal scream.
It's like a fantasy, I'm living out my dream,
All those ****** novels I read,
Pictured through my mind,
He pulled my hair even harder,
I came almost instantaneously

Her essence flowed freely,
Surrounding him in liquid heat.
His thrusting became faster,
and the pleasure was Oh so sweet.
Hard as a rock,
one more pounding ******.
He sank into her deeply,
and explodes in a rush.

I could feel his hot seed,
Filling up inside me.
The exquisite pleasure almost
made me come once more,
He leaned his entire weight into me,
His breath on my neck
was felt to my core,
I realized I never asked his name
Yet, he'd pleasured me like never before.

"I have seen you from afar, to shy to say a word.
Still, I know your name not and feel kind of absurd."
"I have seen you looking
and have noticed you too,
I wanted you for awhile,
and didn't know what to do."
He kissed her then,
softly upon her lips.
Holding her against the tree,
still joined at the hips.

I drip as I grip onto your hips,
while I nurture your nectar and sip
Your ****** has me going crazy,
'cause I'm craving to be lazy
and lay on my back while you ride
me, but I think I might have died
This pleasure makes me feel like Heaven,
and I won the jackpot like 7-7-7
Your depths are coming down upon me,
while I sew some of my sticky seed
right into your box, with me begging,
"Baby, I swear I'm gonna make you mine,
'cause you have me feeling so sublime."


            *~To Be Continued~

He says, "you're my best friend"
And kisses her lightly on the cheek
She truly just can't help herself
But her knees collapse as they go weak
He catches her before she hits the ground
His face grows worried and he asks if she's alright
She just stares into his eyes, not making a sound
She can't help but notice how his hands feel so right
Leaning into him, she heaves a heavy sigh
Thinking to herself, "why oh why?"
Suddenly, sparks light up his eyes
Like lightning, he finally realized
She is his rock, where he can constantly lean
When he's feeling weak
His strength and shelter through the storms
This beautiful Angel, sent to keep his heart warm
Suddenly, her mouth is on his
A first and most joyous kiss
He knows now, she's wanted this all along
She folds herself in his arms, finding comfort where she belongs
He pulls back and softly whispers in her ear
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She stares lovingly into his eyes, deep into his soul
*"I never thought you'd believe."

and yet....
    everyday
I   F
       A
           L
         L
    deeper
Into Your Eyes
      Into Your Words
             Into Your Voice
    The feelings my heart.
            and mind
      have created
Leave me very little choice
          I cannot control
   the musings in my soul
        the desperation in my heart
     or the erratic thoughts in my mind
           That keep tearing at my insides
      Making me want to fall apart
                perfection
                         =
                      you
      Especially, in regards to me
I just wish you could see
          I know I sound crazy
     But, sometimes we just can't help
            how we feel
       It's too much to ask of you
   But I'm a fan of the truth
          and I know these emotions
      that I'm trying to conceal
          desire
               chemistry
                      love
        they're all real
  I tried and tried and tried
         but I just can't control
            what's deep in my soul
     and how my heart feels...


Just thought you should know...

Rain crashes over me in waves
             Downing me in sorrow
       But it's not water, it's tears
Filling up the empty places
                    In my soul
  And a heart I didn't know I had

    Blasphemy! Dry those tears!
That kinda thing ain't needed hear!
                    You're strong,
             You're beautiful,
                      You're smart
   Wipe away those pesky things
      And listen to your heart.

           But I can't breathe,
      I'm shaking violently
   As the flood surrounds me.
           How can I escape?
  How could I just wipe them away?
      I'm weak, I'm dumb, I'm ugly
                  Can't you see?
The tears of sorrow are here to stay.

     You are what I say
           And you know it's true.
What's gotten into you?
   No man or thing is worth a single drop
Let alone, a downpour that could drown you
       All this madness has to stop
                I could help you
      If you do what I tell you to.

There's no help for me,
          My chest is overflowing
    With tears, rotten flowers,
            And dark, ***** shadows.
      The past is within me,
    I can't seem to forget or let it go.
          There's no point to the argument,
     I've already given up hope
You're just the part of me that
          Refuses to believe that's so


             **~ To Be Continued ~

No more time to waste
   time to put on my game face
The last battle is already won
       But this war
  Has only just begun
              Knives are thrown
   Screams and echoes
            Bounce off the walls
     Gun blasts and back fires
         my mind's too small
  Tight rope waking on electric wires
              Walls cave and bombs burst
The enemies yell out a curse
         This isn't as bad as before
  The blood and bodies cover less of the floor
            could've been worse?!?!
      I'm not really sure
  Too many ideas, too many discoveries
           Horrid lies told to me
     And lies I've told myself
  It's a mysterious battle in my mind
         My life is at stake
                  Isn't it strange?
        It's not fake, it's not a game
   Lives and souls are lost
        The ultimate cost
            But my mind rages on
  With this battle that cannot be won
          I'm tired, I'm burned out
   And the war in my mind
         Has only **just begun

A Daily
   Breathing
        Habit

Someone
    Should
        Help Me
   Kick It

Let's steal cheap knock offs from Wal-Mart
And return them to customer service for gift cards
So we can buy the real things

Let's drive unregistered vehicles, WITHOUT insurance
And lie when we get pulled over by the state troopers
So all we gotta do is pay a little fine

Let's get paid to buy alcohol for minors (like 17+, cuz you know that's not so bad)
And party with them until just before the cops show up
So they're all too drunk to give the cops our names

Let's sell some of our food stamps for cash
And use it to buy tobacco and tubes and make our own, non taxable cigarettes
So we can sell them to the neighborhood for cheaper than the stores

Let's be a modern day Bonnie and Clyde. Let's only steal from wealthy cooperations and the government. Let's be bad, but not so bad that if we get caught we'll go to jail, cause you know, I wouldn't want that.

Swaying her hips,
she asks him to dance.
It is a masquerade ball,
and she's taking her chance.
From afar she had loved him,
too timid to even try.
But now she is taking,
tonight it's do or die.

Licking my lips,
I wonder if he can see,
How badly I want a kiss?
Can he sense my need?
My brazen desire
To just be pleased,
One night of lust,
Infatuation and  greed

He pulled her close,
lips by her ear.
"Come away with me,
love me my dear."
Taking her hand he left,
through the crowd and up the street.
Stopping only once,
To kiss her oh so sweet.

My God, I wanna rip him apart right here
I'm so wet, I'm soaked through
I wanna lick, I wanna taste
I'll do whatever he wants to
I desire the feel of skin on skin
Please, just let us  begin!

Through the park they did run,
In a gentle summer rain.
Pushing her against a tree,
her pleasure was his aim.
Under the dress his hand did go,
While he bite at her lips.
She moaned into the night,
and rocked her curvy hips.

I want him inside me,
I can't wait till we get home,
No, just do me against this tree,
I'll pleasure him, if he just pleasures me
I'm writhing, I'm wet
I want his tongue probing my mouth,
His palms splayed on my back
Then moving so much farther  south

He turns her around,
she now faces the tree.
Throwing up the dress,
He goes on bended knee.
******* are ripped,
as his silken tongue seeks.
Her moans get louder,
as her legs get weak.

Oh, heavenly bliss
I've never felt anything sweeter
The feel of his talented lips
Just keep taking me higher
Although this is completely satisfying
The only thing I want is his entire length  inside me

She rocked her hips,
begging for more.
As upon his tongue,
her essence did pour.
He let himself free,
Sliding it across her ****,
Then slipped slowly inside,
once he was slippery slick.

Oh My, just what I was waiting for
I failed to conceal the moan I let slip
He pushed even deeper inside me
And I couldn't help but bite my lip
With every inch I felt it farther in my core
I let out a scream, begging for  *MORE

The time of night, mid
   It was dark
          She was drunk
The ***** was cheap
   She'd fallen into a nightmare
            Of her own dreams
        And she was in way too deep
Death was at her doorstep
    And the promises she made
             She could no longer keep
   She weeped into the bottle
Then drank some more
       Time was of the essence
    Yet, the past came back to haunt her
            Just like before
      Too much to handle
For their sake
          She handles it everyday
     "Resilience" they say
  But she's a fake
          Weak and ashamed
     How did she get this way?
Those ghosts of memories that
          never faded away
  On that night
     She lost complete control
              And the roses
Were dead and rotting
          Just like her *soul

Lipsticks, painted red
      A smile on my face,
              Not seen before,
     Take a big swig from a bottle,
Drink more and more
      Until I end up on the floor
     Finally the *memories are gone
When my sanity walks out the door

        I'm now on the ceiling,
   Though quite possibly dreaming,
My thoughts are far from clearing
            In muddled moments
    I find comfort and forget
             No longer chained
      Or to my own head in debt

Swishing the thoughts around my mind
    Like a good year of
         fine white wine
   Spitting out the rotten ones
Swallowing down a few,
        just for fun
     Intoxication at its finest,
Brazen, daring, brave and bold
           Leaving the past behind us
     Out in the bitter cold

          Frozen behind,
   No longer catching up to me
     I can stumble forward
            In my plastered euphoria
     A smile on my face
I can pick up my pace
         Audacious now, I feel
Doesn't matter how much of this is real

Reality is just in my mind
           Not easily defined
    By dreams, nightmares or ghosts
             From the past
       Reality is in this bottle,
                This pipe, or this needle
     Down to the very last
Drops of fantasy and candy
                   But ****,
           *It tastes so sweet

I crawl on my knees
      Down to the deepest hole
 Forgot the remnants of my heart
        In a dark, dusky winter
                  Cold
         I'll die slowly and painfully
     If you fall apart
Pour out my soul
    Never remembering me
          Ghosts of lost loves
    Wasting away
            No one's caring
Somebody unfortunate
        Lonely
            Scary
                You

You*
    May
       Say
          It
   And Feel
       It

**But I Don't

I'm not sure
      h o w
L
   O
      N
           G
I can
    
     k e e p
          this              P
                            *U

I know what you'd all like to say
      To make me feel better
"Beauty is on the inside"
            Or
       "You are beautiful"
But my soul is so tattered
       And my heart
Has been repeatedly
             shattered
All the scattered
      bits and pieces
   You might find in there
          Between the scars and creases
     Would make you all run and hide
               If beauty shines from the inside,       Then I'm the **ugliest beast alive

I'll smile,
     pretend
  I'm okay...
Better than the
          truth
   Anyways.

Well....
     Last night
          Skip came to the rescue
**** Pennsylvania state troopers
     No wallet for proof
Called Skip, 1am
          He walked in the snow
Just to help drive us home
      He didn't have to
But, he came to the rescue
          Probably lost about 6 hours of sleep
     But **** if he's not a good friend to keep
         If only I could repay him in some way
       Well, my only talent is poetry
So here's what I'll say...
      Thank you Skip
   So **** much
          You went out of your way
      It must have been tough
   I'm not sure what else to do
       Besides just saying thank you
For coming to my rescue!

I wake up from reality and you're still not there...

I told you all some truths about me
                To be honest,
It was kinda sickening
        Completely disconcerting
I'm not sure I like opening up like that
          They were only ten words each
And most of you probably didn't understand their
          deeper meanings
      But to me,
They were everything
            All the little parts of me
That I truly don't like admitting
So, I've decided I'm done with
             the truth
At least for a little while
    It's time for some
        Pretty Little Lies
       A few to make you smile
And a few to make you cry
           Since everyone else can tell me
                  so many lies
Well, now it's my turn.

Little moist drops of heaven
       Trickling down my throat
    The heavenly burn,
                   delicious
Synonymous with an Angel's wings
               fluttering in my esophagus
     Liquid lightning, striking
          Almost blasphemous
 A devilish game of Russian Roulette
              With four shot glasses,
   Three rogues and one gent
Emotions getting looser
    Clothing getting tighter
           The taste becoming
     Sweeter
          Liquefied demon tears
Playing a wicked game
            with my insides
    Putting a beautiful curse on my mind
             Melted Whiskey Raindrops
     Sending shivers down my spine
           This hellish war of love, hate and
                    Intoxication
   Has never felt so
                  *Divine

Literally,

I've only

Seen one

Other human*

In

Two months.

Arguing*
     with me

Is like
        Arguing

With a
      **BRICK
       WALL