So I tried everything you asked, I tried so hard I don't think I've ever tried this hard in my whole life, I don't think I'm ever going to make it to where you want me, and I don't think it's fair that you only love me if I climb there, At what point do I give up and accept that you're just an evil person?
...and the party continues a conga line of ants balance crumbs at jaunty angles drunken cocktail waitresses taking the scenic route across the kitchen bench around the cooktop skirting the kitchen sink where the spider and fly detente appears to continue over the countertop carefully avoiding the cockroaches playing five card draw …. to the crack next to the door
summer in Sydney means the bugs move in you can wipe spray clean vacuum and they will all be back partying in your house again the very next day
I feel as though I'm looking for an anwser to a question I dont even know.. Everything kinda feels pointless when you dont know what you want.. Even if I had what I wanted would I be happy?.. This is just a place to write my feelings no one cares to listen to.. yet I find myself speaking words that go unheard. And its the same everywhere.. no one listens to me so why talk?
Thinking about just deleting my account because... I am afraid.. Always afraid.. of what? Of everything and im sick of it.
I see my mirror posted on my wall. I stop and stare at what I see. I can't fix the mess in front of me. Eyes swallowed by darkness and a smile that hides my misery. I try to fathom how this all came to be..
What happened to me?
A life stolen by illness and disability. Invisible ones that most of the time, you can't see. I try to hide behind a strong facade. Deep down inside, I quit. I'm tired of playing games.
So I hide my thoughts and push them away. I stand up tall, and push through the day. But, When no one's looking, to my knees, I pray..
I wish you were mine, Your beauty is divine. Your personality brightly shines. Your overall is just so fine.
I just look at the sky, wonder why. No matter how much I try, You'd probably deny. I'd always do something awry, You'd just decry. I wouldn't wanna be shy, but you make me wanna cry. Even when the tears are dry. I'm not the one you'd rely. Well, I'm not the tough guy, ***** the retry, F*ck those other guys, I don't need a reply. I don't need a goodbye. I'll just go die.
I am perfectly fine okay. Do not ask if I'm alright cause I am fine :)