I wish I could freeze my happiness
In little ice cubes
So when I'm having a bad day
I can just pop one in my mouth
And let it melt my worries away.

I know that I'm not
But is it okay
If I just let myself
Feel disgusting today?

You ask
If I'm okay
But not because
You really care
But because you're trying
To convince yourself
That you do

"I love you"
Only fell from your lips
When you were intoxicated
So I slipped a bit of *****
In your drink every night
Pretending it was me
You were drunk on

Some days I wish
you had never given me
the time of day
just enough to make sure it hurt
when you walked away

writing is easy
when your heart is in the lead
your mind in the back
of itself
i guess
but as soon
as something happens
worth writing
my brain says
i told you so
crosses the line
my heart left
in the back this time
locked away
bleeding
along with
the pen
as i run
out
of
ink

It's okay to fall down
If you don't know how to fly
It's okay to make a rainstorm
If you feel you need to cry

It's okay to get your feelings hurt
By things that people say
It's okay to fall apart
When people don't wanna stay

It's okay to kick and scream
When you life falls apart
It's okay to cry yourself to sleep
When you have a broken heart

It's okay to show the feelings
You feel you need to show
Because falling apart and getting back up
Is the only way you'll grow

it hurts.
i wish it hurt enough to cry.

I don't care if I'm at the top of a ******* cliff
If you are drowning at the sea below me
I'm going to jump

I don't want you to fill up the empty parts of me
I don't want you to carry my weight and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't want you to pick up my broken pieces
And glue them back together for me
No
I will buy my own glue when I have enough money
I will hold my broken pieces and get them back together somehow
I will learn how to balance on my own two feet and soak my own shirt will my tears
I don't want you to fix the light that has burnt out inside of me
I want to learn to light up my own world
And then I want you
Because together we could light it on fire

I hated my exes
Because they were always lying
When they said they loved me
But then again
So was I

The
spark between us
just kept going out but
i kept fixing the bulb every
time desperate to not
be left alone in
the



d a r k

i was a match
just waiting for someone
to light up my world
i never thought
you would leave me
to burn

It's sad.
I'm sad.
That the society I live in
will shove me in a box
That the people of this world
will look at me
and see not the words of my story
but the art on the cover
i'm sorry
If I'm not what you expected
For my voice leaks from the edges
And I color outside the lines
or
should there have been
no lines
to begin with

A rainy day
A dead rose
That picture on the wall
My little sisters test
Hanging on the fridge
The project I used to stall
My Polaroid camera
A broken mug
My mom's excuse of fun
A walk outside
A kitty in my lap
The trophies I forgot I won
A forgotten poem
A silent scream
A whisper of the untold true
Little things
Little dreams
All ending with you

I don't want to be alone forever
I want to feel the warmth and love of another
I don’t want a fake friend or a one minute lover
Or the broken pieces of another
I want a real person
A human connection
Not a shadow of my broken reflection
Someone to comfort my cries
To notice my sighs
To empathize and recognize the right things to say
I just need someone to say
That I am loved and I will be okay
I need someone, for once, to stay
I want to hug someone when I am cold
Not a desperate relationship that will get old
I don’t want a robot or another fake mold
I just want a human person with a soul
I want a friend
I want a lover
A sister, a companion, a brother
I don’t want to be alone forever
Will I really be alone forever?

The most painful experience
Isn't losing someone
It's the moment you realize
You've lost yourself
- Elena Gilbert

if you're ever wondering if you're in love
just think of that person as a flower
if you came across them
would you pluck it for yourself
or water it

Love (down)

I love you
And you will never hear me say
That I don't
I know
We are meant to be
I can't believe that you think
You're not beautiful
I'm sorry but
You are mine
You can never say that
I'm lying

Evol (up)

It was nothing more
Than the ways your eyes lit up
When you saw the snow falling
That made me realize
How much I wanted it to be cold enough
To freeze time

As I stare into the mirror
Her face scrunched up
Is she disgusted
Sad
Does she know that I am
Waiting for happiness too
Does she know that I am
Trying to hide as well
I try to relate as I am
Reaching forward to comfort her
My hand
Meeting glass
My eyes
Grey
As I stare into
the mirror

She was scared of the monsters
Hiding under her bed
But the scariest of them all
Were the ones in her head

it's autumn
the trees are letting go
of year long relationships
so why the ****
can't i

i watch the ink run down my arm
the pen, writing the feelings
i could never explain with words;
sitting on my bathroom floor
never led to anything
but unwanted art

The weight of only a pound
And yet at the same time
Holding the secrets
My back couldn't handle carrying

two syllables
never left your tongue
you sung it
like a song
stuck in your head

a constant reminder
that I was the one
you were talking to
when you followed
with three more words

it was never the way
you said my name
but the way
you never made me
forget it

i keep finding myself
stumbling over things
three feet behind me

Plucking the sun from the sky
Is not a sunset

Pulling a leaf from a tree
Is not autumn

Pushing me off a cliff
Doesn't mean I'm falling for you

And kissing me
Doesn't mean I love you

I'm so tired
of wanting things
I will never have
gaining things
I will never want
and being left
with nothing

i've learned the hard way
that life will never be
as beautiful as poetry
and that we will never be
as perfect as we sound
when squished between
similes and metaphors
so while we don't fit together
quite as well as puzzle pieces
and you sometimes
might not complete me
as well as a cup of coffee
my hand still feels
quite nice in yours

and i don't need a poem to say that

They say pain
makes poetry
so I wondered why
I hadn't been writing
then I remembered
pain is not what I'm feeling
it's what I'm yearning
in all this feeling
of numb

i will use my last breath
to tell myself
you loved me

overthinking is seeing
rainbows in the dark
you're fast asleep
and I still think you're judging me

you gave me hugs
when you could have
given me kisses
you gave me comfort
when you could have
given me oxygen
now I'm here
gasping your name
while you ponder
on why I can't breathe

i inhaled sharply
as if our fingers sliding together
was the breath of fresh air
i never knew i needed

Don't fall in love
Fall off a cliff
It hurts a lot less :)

Your mouth is *******
Rolled in a joint of lust
I move my lips
Desperate to get a taste
Of my paper addiction
I inhale your exhale
With a parted mouth
The very thought of you
Making my eyes dilate
My limbs dissolve
In a pool of sugar skies
And all I can whisper
Is "ecstasy"

You carved and shaped me to your liking
and then threw me away
when there was nothing left of me

Your harmful words
Pass through me as I bath in
My own compliments

falling in love
or falling to pieces
i cant tell the difference
anymore

I've tried to write
So many poems about you
But you're beauty is copyrighted
And I don't believe
In plagiarism

space is my addiction
proximity is key
get a little closer
and i'll never
let you leave

The only difference between sound and silence
Is that one is real and one is in your head
I always have a hard time figuring out which one is which

She kissed him
With question marks?
While he kissed her
With "quotations"
And together they became
a run on sentence...

If I sit still
I drown
If I move
I drown faster
You could pull me out
If only you weren't
The quicksand

I try to tiptoe across the pain
but you caught my tears hidden by the rain
you try to tell me everything will be okay
But all I hear is that I will always love you

And that you will never feel the same