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Jaxey Dec 2018
it is 11:59 PM
and i love you

and i don't know about you
but in one minute
when a new day begins
when wifes are questioning
where their husbands are
when the city awakens
for their nightly mistakes
and late night distractions spiral
in minds of regret
i will be thinking of you

and if it's possible
i think i will love you even more
than i did one whole minute before
I love you
Jaxey Apr 14
i don't know what time it is
but with the feeling
of loneliness
suffocating me
and the sound of silence
giving me room to breathe
it feels about
2:57 am
what time is it though?
Jaxey Dec 2018
I never knew
If you gave me butterflies
Or just made my stomach hurt
Idk, here's a poem
Jaxey Feb 2019
I hate you for making it impossible to hate you
- j

P.S. Why am writing this again?
god why do i need you so much
Jaxey Sep 2019
Lonely

but no longer
alone
I am
trying
and yet I'm not
happy
the sad in me is now
growing
my hope is slowly
diminishing into nothing
my new beginning
was suppose to be taking over
my sadness
lingering
no longer
happy
I am
lonely
but no longer

Alone
I found a home inside myself
Jaxey May 2019
the fear of losing more than your mind
Jaxey Oct 2018
You are the moon
Dark and lonely
and looking for a friend
And I am the star
sitting right behind you
Praying for you to turn around
Please just turn around
Jaxey Oct 2018
I wish everyday for the breeze of an Autumn morning
The light chill that kisses goosebumps along my legs and arms
I wish for a golden leaf to fall into my hair as I walk along the pavement
For the sun to shine through the shy, soft clouds
I wish for a warm cup of cocoa on a November sunset
And the soft fuzz of my cat’s tail brushing against my leg as she purrs onto my hot skin
I wish to curl up beside the fireplace with a good book
And dream into the nothingness of tomorrow
I wish to blast the smell of lavender around me with the click of a lighter
And fall into the wonderful scents of the future
I will gaze out the window as I watch the leaves fall
As the smell of warm heat surrounds me
A book in my lap, my cat by my side
I will fall into a frenzy of chapped lips and soft blankets
Some people wish for a lover or a laptop
But all I want is the breeze of an Autumn morning
I just love Autumn
Jaxey Nov 2018
"Isn't it beautiful"
She smiled
Gazing up
At the stars

"Yes, beautiful"
He whispered
Staring up
At her
You're so beautiful
Jaxey Nov 2019
you always know
when to point out
the beautiful things
you just always seem
to forget about yourself
remember
Jaxey Oct 2018
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But now so am I
And it's all cause of you
Now instead of the roses
My writs are blood red
And the violets have stained
The side of my head
You hug me and cry
And I say it's okay
But you always come back
With your violent bouquet
Please no more bouquets
Jaxey Feb 2019
he always took
her breath away
and he still does
just now
it involves his fingers
around her throat
Help
Jaxey Apr 2019
i am sorry
that when you broke
i didn't help you back together
but started checking your pieces
to see if any of them could serve
to fill my missing ones
im okay
Jaxey May 2019
I always believed
That you had destroyed me
But then I realized
The only person
Who had the power
To destroy me
Was myself
Destruction of the brain
Jaxey Jun 2019
You tell me
To follow
My heart
I ask you
Which piece
Lost and confused
Jaxey Nov 2019
You watch helpless
as a burn
and demand to know
who did it
but how can I say

It was you
who lit the match
i cant
Jaxey Aug 2019
You held the paper
between you lips
and inhaled

I've never
Been so jealous
Of a cigarette
It should have been me
Jaxey May 2019
You tasted bitter
With a pinch of honey
And I wondered
If they had forgotten
The cream
Simplicity is nice
Jaxey Mar 31
You're a cup of coffee
iced of I remember
and I thought you had melted
a long time ago
but as it turns out
your ice cubes
were coffee too
and you're just as sweet as before

**** it
curse you life hacks
Jaxey Oct 2019
If love is a two way street
I'm the person on the sidewalk
the third wheel
Jaxey May 2019
I never expected you
To live up to your name
why did you have to crush me?
Jaxey Apr 14
I suppose I am
a midnight sky
as you keep
finding reasons
to be afraid
of the dark
Jaxey Oct 2018
You warned me about your demons
I said I didn't mind
And I didn't
Until they dragged me down
To hell with you
**** me demons please
Jaxey Jan 2019
don't tell me
that long distance relationships don't work
when even stuck a million miles apart
the sun still finds a way
to make the moon shine
The sun and the moon
Jaxey May 2019
you words leave me with wounds
deeper than bargained for
and i seem to be out
of band aids
Jaxey May 2019
I showed you my art
expecting an "ew"
But then you rolled up your sleeve
and said "I draw too"
do you have unwanted art?
Jaxey Oct 2019
Loving you
Is like drowning
Reaching for the brim
Waiting for you to help me
Instead of learning how to swim
Why did you let me drown
Jaxey Oct 2018
Hot coco tastes like chocolate
Popcorn tastes like salt
Cats feel too soft
Dogs bark too loud
I'm hungry so I will eat
I'm thirsty so I will drink
I'm tired so I will sleep
I’m alive so I will be
My brain is working
My heart is pumping
I am alive
But I am not living
What are emotions again?
Jaxey Sep 2019
That's the difference
between myself and autumn
I can't let you go
the trees make it look so easy
Jaxey Mar 2019
don't beg for help
on how to get back up
from the feet
that stood on your legs
and convinced you
you couldn't walk
in the first place
only the broken will understand
Jaxey Sep 2019
Loving you
Is like a moving train
I could jump off
But it would be painful
And I just
Don't
Want
To
I don't wanna get off
Jaxey Feb 2019
I was stupid enough
To think I was where
You wanted to be
Until you admitted
That you were lost
idk
Jaxey Apr 8
You're eyes are lies
of sugar skies
but I want desire
lick me clean
in gasoline
and ******* set me on fire
i miss the feeling
Jaxey Apr 2019
the last thing I tasted
was chocolate chip cookies
as you pulled away
giggling
and leaving my lips
tingling
I miss her already
Jaxey Nov 2018
I don't think it's possible to un-love someone
But I do believe that a broken heart
Is sometimes necessary
To learn how to re-love yourself
You taught me how to love myself
Jaxey Oct 2019
He stole all my heels
because he doesn't like it
when he can't look down on me
I stole them back
Jaxey Jan 2019
You were that person
In my story
That everyone else
Saw as the villain
The **** in the garden
Full of roses
But I saw you as a hero
Because what nobody else realized
Was that the weeds
You had planted
Were just your
Broken attempts
Of making something
Bloom
You were my hero that was everybody elses villain
Him
Jaxey Dec 2018
Him
You were a face of November
A face that burned through my mind
As I griped my phone with a shaky hand
And heavy defeat
I read our conversation
Splattered with the words
Of my most recent confession
And wondered
What I had said
To leave me
With wet hands
And another reminder
That I will never be good enough
This is based on recent events that happened with me and a boy that I am still utterly and hopelessly in love with and how he rejected me. And yet even though it causes me so much pain to even look at him, I can't help but be drawn back to him. If you have any advice on how to fill an empty heart, I'm all ears <3
Jaxey Feb 20
words drip like h
                               o
                                 n
                                    e
                         ­             y from your chin
i lick up the sy . lla . bles that make me grin
teasing me with whispers of your favorite s i n s
and then making new ones a                      t my skin
                                                  g                    s
                                                     a              n
                                                             i
hello again
Jaxey Apr 2019
I'm torn between
The comfort
Of your waist
And the warmth
Of your cheek
always the neck
Jaxey Oct 2019
Now I know
How betrayal feels
To be burned
By your very source of light
did he ever get back up?
Jaxey Oct 2018
I wish I could freeze my happiness
In little ice cubes
So when I'm having a bad day
I can just pop one in my mouth
And let it melt my worries away.
Let me melt with you
Jaxey Nov 2018
I know that I'm not
But is it okay
If I just let myself
Feel disgusting today?
I just feel gross today
ily
Jaxey Aug 2019
ily
I love you

I know you don't love me back

And that's okay

But I love you

And I just wanted you to know that
hey
Jaxey May 2019
You ask
If I'm okay
But not because
You really care
But because you're trying
To convince yourself
That you do
Stop
Jaxey Aug 2019
"I love you"
Only fell from your lips
When you were intoxicated
So I slipped a bit of *****
In your drink every night
Pretending it was me
You were drunk on
Please love me
Jaxey Jan 2019
some 
                                        things
in                                  
        
l i f e

are                         
                        easier
                                 ­                  to

u n d e r s t a n d

   
when
left                                          
                      
m i s u n d e r s t o o d
Try the understand the misunderstood
Jaxey Oct 2018
It's okay to fall down
If you don't know how to fly
It's okay to make a rainstorm
If you feel you need to cry

It's okay to get your feelings hurt
By things that people say
It's okay to fall apart
When people don't wanna stay

It's okay to kick and scream
When you life falls apart
It's okay to cry yourself to sleep
When you have a broken heart

It's okay to show the feelings
You feel you need to show
Because falling apart and getting back up
Is the only way you'll grow
It's okay
Jaxey Oct 2018
I don't care if I'm at the top of a ******* cliff
If you are drowning at the sea below me
I'm going to jump
save me
Jaxey Oct 2018
I don't want you to fill up the empty parts of me
I don't want you to carry my weight and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't want you to pick up my broken pieces
And glue them back together for me
No
I will buy my own glue when I have enough money
I will hold my broken pieces and get them back together somehow
I will learn how to balance on my own two feet and soak my own shirt will my tears
I don't want you to fix the light that has burnt out inside of me
I want to learn to light up my own world
And then I want you
Because together we could light it on fire
Lets burn this **** to the ground and then get out of here
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