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May 10 · 260
Heavy Hearted May 10
Although I dont know her all to well
With a first impression flawed
Ive wrote this poem to show and tell
her happy birthday! I KNOW, this is odd-

Who writes a poem as a birthday gift?
So personal yet incomplete-
Its because im here so spirits lift
And to show remorse for my deceit

Im not really as rude as i was;
Not nearly as mean of a *****,
Still im unfiltered, simply because -
When around lucie hehe, sometimes I switch
So Shay,
im sorry
for unleashing my inner *****.

Happy 24th Birthday- from me, to you-
Im too poor to buy presents
So I hope this will do.
With words incandessence
Do you boo boo!
Apr 7 · 988
A d a m
A, always absencent and afraid
D, in such distaste;
A, for anger- absoloute
& M, cuz mans a ****** Waste:

Is this a written name?
Of this friend or potential lover
How he Reels this unique pain,
Too bad he wont discover:
That I'm the one whos truth's attentive
Not the one with words incentive-
Take ownership, & be repentive
Your minds absolutely unretentive.

I don't believe that you have this gift
To heal and unlock a Better version
of whoever you think you are-

What you've been given, you must shift
Enjoying that fake xannax bar?

A lthough you hurt
D ont hurt me too
A lways iconsiderate-
M anipulated too.

A man disrespected me and i dont tollerate that from little *******
Mar 15 · 1.5k
Heavy Hearted Mar 15
There is a magic dragon
 That my father and I know
It circles me then glides back to him
No matter where we go.

 Inside this invisible little beast,
 Part of my dad does stay
Immortalized, by magic art
please never go away.

Upon these words dragon's wings hang
ontop the lonley wind,
supported- gliding endlessly
Through life's chaos its spinned.

With every spin circling back,
To the begninng, till each end....
Each time another battlecry -
This Heavy heart's hardened.

May I be rendered, in truths light
When deception's shadow's tall,
& may that dragon help me find
A way back through it all.
Puff the magic dragon, lived by the sea... 🎶
Inspired by the famous nursery rhyme of the same title.
Mar 10 · 523
Heavy Hearted Mar 10
To make it up: alone; we've learned,
the blindful wilds we procured- are no oasis, or mirrage.

..Yet it is us
who hold control.
the dawn of daybreak's, shinning still-
a yellow brick road runs up that hill.
Still, I create
Still fabricate
this work, I Still, appriciate;
for a moment, I consolidate- then slowly, still,

for a moment- before the sun dips into the horizon (disappearing until dawn)

"...catch a glow that warms your spirit, play a song to soothe the pain and be still. If only to renue your faith for now. "
Feb 23 · 389
Late 20's
Heavy Hearted Feb 23
21 for the decades, times double date
22 for your memory & how still, it placates
23, for my parents, with all their support-
& 24 to reflect, record and report.
25 for the sound of my friends breathing sleep, and
26, for the shared memories that only one of us keep.
27 for Heaven & 27 for Hell,
if my next yeas worth living, its worth living well.
28 as an EP, The Mainstream, the mandate;
the lifestyle, the butcher, the people relate-
29 in a battlecry,when we run towards the light,

& 30- for all those who fight the good fight. The addicts, the victims all without support systems:

may peace keep you warm & may you know love  is a place,
& that
Together we'll triumpth, in the futures we face.
Feb 23 · 711
Isn't It Strange?
Heavy Hearted Feb 23
He would always wear my ring- giving me his full attention;
he would lay there- with me,
he listened to the music.
He listened to our songs.

And she carries my pouch, the one I made for her coins.
She carries my artwork- a piece of my mind, my imagination- one of which that even escapes my own memory-
I know she carried it,
Wherever she went.

And with a silent , namelless love, He uses my bookmark.
The one I made for him.
  I know, at every ending,
to every story-
It's there.  

A simple ring, a coin purse, a bookmark;
like the unity of a song we all listen to at once-
were pushed together, bound by memory,
and immortalized in such fleeting feelings.
Isn't It Strange? That within these three mundane objects
I take solice.
austins ring bronwens pouch and spencers bookmark.
Jan 26 · 377
Heavy Hearted Jan 26
If you were the sun I'd bask in your light and if you were the stars, I'd see them tonight.  If you were the rain I'd be driffted to sleep, in the same room from the memories only we keep. I'd be engulfed in your sound, listening id forget,
The pain, my reality and every regret
Jan 8 · 994
S ä m
Cut in half and also double,
The time I take from each perception,  Sifting through the artworks ruble-
Changes constantly, with new direction

Words which placate then befuddle
Like an instinctive, intervention.
Longingly, negating trouble,
Empirically, a resurrection.

All the while my medications
(Pills to fix the way we feel)
Unraveling fast deviation
Investing in what isn't real.

Oh Destroyer, and Creater;

The Accention & Decline-

How we Falsify & fabricate,

Then factually Define.
Dec 2022 · 1.1k
Enter One
Heavy Hearted Dec 2022
And when the darkness comes
I'll remember this moment.
Where we held out our hearts
& filled them with faith-


Dec 2022 · 1.1k
Heavy Hearted Dec 2022
Twenty six years, a companionship spans
The length of an entire lifetime.
What can be said of future plans?
Inherent, flawless design.

Now with my art three stanzas stretch
Scribbles in the cyberspace
A fleeting truth, for you to fetch
Deceptive pasts to face.

This last writing of the year
To Stephen I now dedicate
May life's kindness reappear
N like a melody, placate.
Peace poem tribute past
Nov 2022 · 1.1k
Beauty Dies
Heavy Hearted Nov 2022
Beauty's rose wilts 
 and petal by petal,
shard by shard;
Faster than fantasy-
time relapses
Beauty's rose wilts-
it's soils all settle
Erosion by erosion,
slower than springtime;
the future arrives.
Beauty's rose,
But a wilt!
without trophy or medal,
condolences, by condolences,
at our own paces-
the past persists.

Black flowers, wilted with time,
without beginning, nor end-
are seen;
   &  through the stained glass gaze of love,
are shimmering.
Heavy Hearted Oct 2022
Here I lye with you-
you don't listen, so my words
write reversed haikus

I don’t need your drugs,
but I do need you to know
no one deserves this.

I choose to let you
treat me like I’m blindfolded;
Still, I gift to you-

Graphite and color
a blank sketchbook (with this piece)
Inscribed in the front.

Art is all I know
so this opportunity.
to express it all-

Has such strong power,
you might never truly know…
Still- I hope you do.
5 stanza Haiku letter

I wish he could have known about this.  Written in his gifted sketchbook (from me) while he was finally asleep after almost overdosing on fetynol and me saving his life, over 7  hours of horror.  When he woke up I went to the washroom, came back, and he was smoking it again. He overdosed- stopped breathing-  I called 911, they resuscitated him. and rushed him to the hospital, then before he could be released, died.

He was only 19.
Oct 2022 · 376
When We Close Our Eyes
Heavy Hearted Oct 2022
Dear Dad,

We close our eyes, and we retreat
too a very special place-
Away from worry, away from doubt-
familiar teardrops trace.

So, when I see you, sleeping –
the phone right by your seat-
I cannot help but lay parallel, with you-
& forego frantic defeat.

I cannot help but lay with you
& Join your slumber deep,
Knowing that one day when you leave this earth-
that we can always meet in sleep.

Love, Eric
to my 77 year old father, to whom I owe it all.
Oct 2022 · 413
Absolutely Invisible
Heavy Hearted Oct 2022
Ill write this down - again
I don't enjoy being alone-
especially when I'm right here
with you-

You're a wilted rose & I'm an empty crowd-
With enchanting prose & voices loud,

I don't enjoy being alone-
especially when I'm right here

Still beside you.
at the end of a moshpit or our time together, my last letter to Zuzu.
Oct 2022 · 369
A Fleeting Ability
Heavy Hearted Oct 2022
Is it true?

That my words are now spilt- broth pushed against the brim,
Liquid to big for its container-gracelessly,
it mimics the wild
of unbound tides.
Wherein a fleeting salvation; is oh so frantically exempt-
Its within my linguistic inability
lies my failure's false contempt.

The mundane English word was once my spell to cast
An arsenal of adjectives & repertoire of verbs.
Yet in English its still heard,
communication's magic,
Wielding the awe of expression-  Cured-
I try to print back into begin

salvage my fading ability to write
Oct 2022 · 295
Heavy Hearted Oct 2022
There's freedom to-
and freedom from,

Freedom to run, from everyone.

Free to do-
And freely undone,

Free to run

from anyone.
Sep 2022 · 191
Heavy Hearted Sep 2022
Couplets here, leak out of me
out of my very being,
unto the world in front of me
simultaneously seeing: that I'm made up of couplets,
no more & no less;
two lines of written words that arch balanced, they confess:

that first lines nothing without the second,
& alone the second lines meaningless at best

For it's in couplet's regularity, that confusion doth detest  
that there's always one then two, 2 reasons to write the rest.
Jul 2022 · 306
Heavy Hearted Jul 2022
It happens just because we need
To want and be Wanted too
Serendipitously here, spontaneously there,
A true friend I've found in you.

Now friends will come and some will last, but in the end so few;
Are in actuality Ride or Dies
Disappointingly it's proven true.

Lucie my friend, has forced my hand
To write my words of feeling
For untill now there'd been no reason
To attempt a written healing.

Thanks lucie
Apr 2022 · 707
Flowers & Prose
Heavy Hearted Apr 2022
Red & blue sage in remembrance of you
Gladiolus, carnations-
pink poppies too.

While foxglove protects
With larkspur and flax,
The windflowers wilt but always grow back.

White lilies for hope
And forget-me-nots true,
an innocence captured in their ambiguous blue.

Griefs Pink and white orchids,
Support’s crimson rose-
the healing of hyacinth,

flowers & prose.
written in  tribute, to the family of a good friend.
Apr 2022 · 111
Heavy Hearted Apr 2022
Sad boy- have you grown into a now sad man?
or maybe,  perhaps, as  young adult you now stand.
the point I'm making  is that we still can
with both flattery and deviation, unsynchronized corotation,

Through this site I've gained a lot, mind a reading's worlds now written thoughts;
I know it's too easy,
when our own lives we ruin,
Just don't give up- on yourself,
Can you deduce what I'm doing?
Heavy Hearted Apr 2022
I see you, in your miserable high

I wonder if last chances gone by

In protest you'll hear me screaming Why?

N hope the you thats loved wont die

Alone, we're caught in Meg's Constant's

Thank You for Taking Me to The Disco
I'd Like to Go Home Now

5 lines based off the end of meg myers 3rd studio album, take me to the disco, where in the closing song 'constant' was this writing inspired.
Dec 2021 · 168
The Dream Team
Heavy Hearted Dec 2021
A girl named Lexie, is more than youd believe-
From kindness to beauty, to a witty retort.

This girl named Lexie; you behind she wont leave,
With honor and grace as her natural rapport.  

She tells me that in me, she believes
Which is more meaningful than she'll know-
This gift of her faith I try to recieve
As she writes her music for her show.

A girl named Lexie is more than you'll know,
A magical brain generating her glow.
Someone I am blessed to know-
And respect any time she gives me.
Thank you for caring implicitly.
Dec 2021 · 139
Remember Roses
Heavy Hearted Dec 2021
“I imagine a dreamscape
crafted in fluorescence, by your words
Where no razors fall like trinkets from the sky
But a blindfold of trust comforts the eyes.
May you, I pray, feel un-alone
Though we be strangers in our own homes,
I get it.”
Apr 2021 · 252
This Time
Heavy Hearted Apr 2021
This time the feeling isn't the same.
And who? but myself, is their to blame?
This time, wherever you go and, this time whatever you do,
Even when writing written notes
You will mourn all I once knew.

This time
Is different.
This time- the last time round
I'll hope I do
Turn into you.
Heavy Hearted Apr 2021
a small group of individuals
bound by the intersectionality
of their detriments

and although alone we stand
in head and heart and hand
together the mind and the heart gave birth
to something each of us forgot were worth:

when we are together, a real person is born
not through the perceptivity of gore and of ****-
but of virtue and strength being visible not
to anyone other than us 3 who forgot.
for Irving and Morgan
Mar 2021 · 222
For them
Heavy Hearted Mar 2021
Right now it might seem like a waste of time.
trust me.
to write down a scheme or emotion
some half dreamed-dreams, particles of truth amongst a mostly fabricated memory.
It isn't.
well when you trigger that human desire
for repition yet seamlessly profound plotting
of the ear
you may hear
all the music I'm writing about.
Heavy Hearted Jan 2021
It's upon these cold stones
Which now, I choose to sit, and wait.

Alone at sunrise, fear, hatred and of course, this synthetic 'Art of Doubt'....become me.

The ridged steps- my only companionship
the true essence of cold.

as my fingers numb, and I can barley type this out
Honestly know
I wonder how long and painful
death by ice
really must be.

Beside me; a building filled with everything I could ever ask for want or even need.


And yet , Upon these Cold stones
I sit, just a while longer
To remember what I still have. Not mourn what I've lost.

But mainly, to be a man who doesnt deserve anything inside that wonderful, overwhelming sentimental house. Be it people, possessions even the animals-on those cold steps of reality-he deserves where he rests.
They all deserve more than what I thought I could haven given them.
More than this.
I am so sorry Dad.
Im very sorry Mom.

Thank you, for these cold stones.  You will never understand the gratitude, which one day
I must leave behind,
of all the these priceless blessings.

But for now
It's upon these
Oh so cold, disgracelesss stones- you and me are too alike
melted with liquid burned and with fire, me and these cold stones
know true
Stones cold stairwell winter waiting alone desperation failure rock personification depression parents guilt shame
Jan 2021 · 968
Move Over
Heavy Hearted Jan 2021
Sometimes I regret every single thing
In my pain- I pass on by

emotionless  oh but still it hurts

You tell the truth,

N I dodge your smoke,

As if sometime I could regret.

away and then I cry....

Won't you go away?

You gimme nothing when everything's still the same
Nov 2020 · 80
Long Shadow
Heavy Hearted Nov 2020
Tightly I cling; -

Rebecca's promise to me,

Reminding myself :

Even now,  'You are Free'.
Long Shadow by Twin Limb
Nov 2020 · 366
& the ones you left in mine
Heavy Hearted Nov 2020
Prove to me
That steadily
My hands will cease to shake

& try to show me
another way to see....

Promise me,
All I'm so unsure of

Promise me-
That even this will pass.

Through the window on the basement floor, the truth still speaks; a friend
Reminding me, compassionately
That love and their plans must end.
Now, To sever two souls
But set only one free-
Is by far a painless feat.
How can the severed truly believe
Their love wasn't bound by deceit?
We may lie and hurt, deceive n depart. Argue and destroy,
Ruin precious art;
Burn precious songs to be left in your heart-
We may scar and ignore, avoid and then face
but no magic or time; Not a thing can erase

The Music we share
the 'Music'

We Face.
Alexandra Saviour Lola Marshe Meg Myers Lydia Aimsworth Ejecta FlowerFace Marina and the Diamonds Emily Haines Karen O Taneshe Sam Valdez Warpaint UPSHAL Grouper First Aid Kit Mattiel Evalyn Miley Cirus Bat For Lashes

Know that you too,
left songs in my heart
Heavy Hearted Oct 2020
Amanda Catching;

 the unworthy Angels
as they fall-
     Is a job
         Only you
could do.
5 years later I find myself alongside, once more
the comfort that I never wanted to leave.

The compassion I mistook being no longer the false
virtue I came to age with,

waiting for
And everyone else; right where they've always been.

No longer was I

too young to see.
Sep 2020 · 167
Worry's Disguise
Heavy Hearted Sep 2020
Pray for Truth
n Prey on Lies,
what is a prayer if not worry's disguise?
and then what of said worry, now so clear in our eyes?

Pray that fate wont fail me now-
preying on doubts which always allow,
In worries disdain, the unwavering Tao,

to this critical prayer's
undone what-ifs and what-nows?
worry unto fearsome prayers
Aug 2020 · 237
Heavy Hearted Aug 2020
One thing I can show you-
As if my love understands, or could do,
All of the things that the happy people knew,

The lessons we teach, are taught back to us too.

I won't know you again, right on by my side,
As my dreams whirlpool,  we're pulled under riptides
May I find, and then loose, you on this earthly ride-

May you glimpse my real pain, on this final bedside.
A collaborative
Aug 2020 · 153
In Ashleigh's Book
Heavy Hearted Aug 2020
In Ashleigh's book, I now write
& provide her with this true insight:
We have yet to be friends- how we're connected despite,
all of the habits we-

Choose; Still,

to diminish the light
Read in order to write
Listen in order to say
To Repeat, repeat & repeat
Is the only way

To hold on to mindful thoughts.
Aug 2020 · 261
Heavy Hearted Aug 2020
Beautiful Baby
my boy, and my lover,
silently glowing with hope.
He reminds me
that through worry, although tonight-
I may still sleep.
My Spencer,
always so ready
to hear & see
but only ever
in our blue dreams.
Eager to know; Understand
Eager to help, desperate; to heal.
To fix-
to carry.

Spencer. Spencer. Spencer.
A name, a question & an answer,
a Silent Singer's basement dancer-
a Simple, magic, modern-romancer.

so it's him with these words,

that I choose to now smother,
as I write precipitously  , yet another..
Prayer that his truth & love uncover,
Pieces of me as memories recover,
a new way to yearn & then rediscover,
sincerity's truth within one and other.
Love you all the time.
Aug 2020 · 176
Heavy Hearted Aug 2020
First is a tree who's name wasn't taught
Next, then of course,  a tree now forgot
And then many maples
A spruce and a birch,
Then the last leafless branch upon which these words perch:

Now Into blue sky
Through the swirled clouds I search
On this dock, or a bible
In this lake like a church;

My soul does the backstroke
Toward the blue dream, I lurch.
Jul 2020 · 269
Heavy Hearted Jul 2020
In the washroom
my reflection
and I,
Challenge one another-

A coagulated sweat,
A Combat baby's brain,
A moon that doesn't set-
Ascending constant strain...
Oh Anxiety, Paranoia,
Obsession and Depression,
Still perhaps, a poem just might
set free this true confession:
Confusion and  Delusion
The mirror's blunt conclusion
Pristiq, and then Welbutirn,
Art's  inclusive-type solution.

another one's challenge;
my Reflection , and I
In the Washroom.
"Blood I want it
giving up the fight
blood I want it-
Lay me down tonight"
Jun 2020 · 124
Heavy Hearted Jun 2020
A part of me died last night-
Swallowed by deep shadows,
A Prestidigitator's Rite-
Conjures  woeful wet tomorrows.


Little Black Death, a part of me;
How my soul it now does borrow,
I'm not what I wanted to be
All I've become's known sorrow.

Now its over, No more feeling,
Nothing left - to believe in

Youth without youth, 70's child,
No longer 'them' but 'us'
Disguised in a cipher's hidden truth
how inconspicuous.
Inspired by Meg Myers 'Little Black Death' off the album 'Take Me To The Disco'
May 2020 · 145
Heavy Hearted May 2020
The toll of Angers tide -
Compels us on, and forward

Satisfaction, it never comes!
the only direction left to go,
We stumble.
We're pushed.

The toll of Angers tide -
Compels us on,
Pushing us further, pushing us forward...

the tolling of angers tide-
the unrelenting force.
May 2020 · 170
Heavy Hearted May 2020
oil paint
your poetry
onto the caravan
of my lungs-
so that tonight, may I still see;
all the colors
of your thoughts.
Apr 2020 · 209
Life lines
Heavy Hearted Apr 2020
Painting the pictures I wanted to be in ~

Our life's lines are implied as parallels,
For they trace in the same direction
To our collective personnel's
profound destination:

As our life's lines are redrawn,
again and once again,
Our destiny's knotted into one,
A Triquatra till the end.

Know our lines stay parallel-
Though Infinite,  they'll never meet
In their never joining spell
Their truths within decept.
Apr 2020 · 381
The Pallet Orchid: A Relief
Heavy Hearted Apr 2020
Just because every leaf & stem, n all the greenery of foliage-
Twist up to the sun;
Doesn't mean some flowers won't still bloom in shadow.
Don't discredit a blossom in the dark- Though the light hits the leaves,
the truth of each petal
Is privately dispatched,
Through each color- and in each shape

of every lightless rhythm.
Feb 2020 · 143
The Lover
Heavy Hearted Feb 2020
Look like the flower but be the serpent beneath
Teach for the hour but speak only for minuets
Love for the passion but **** for the pride
Climb for the high, screaming never enough
Remember the happiness
And weep, when you feel its echo.

A unique love owns
Both me and my Father (and brother)
As it's special home's
Found within one another.
So be what you are. Dare and think and move free
But humor always
the lover
your dad raised you to be.
Feb 2020 · 131
Jack's Powerless Prose
Heavy Hearted Feb 2020
Empty smell-
hate that you
need more

you feel
the bad days away;

and forget the point.
Original prose a **** nonsensical writing i found in a book my buddy left in my car

Then again he is dyslexic as ****... whoops
Feb 2020 · 173
As You Lay Asleep
Heavy Hearted Feb 2020
As you lay asleep-I recount each word, every
sound and syllable,
I memorize them;

and despite my plans I still spill out
over these words
and all across my page, that
As you lay asleep-
I am left to my imagination
and in a failure
or another life,  
rhyme and rhythm
take priority,
my imagination settles.

as you lay asleep, I wonder

then regret.
Jan 2020 · 131
Held Hands
Heavy Hearted Jan 2020
when I hold
my own hands
My imagination does ensue
they arent burning
in the cold
and are somehow holding you

And when, away it is you slip, my hands hold tightly still onto
the belief you now know and understand- to me,
What these evil drugs did do.

And in death, maybe you'll
Feel what these constant aches

when I'm holding my own hands,  
it's to pretend that one's s from you
and to comfort my sore soul as
As  life were still all
Sufferings through.
Our parents daughters and sons
Jan 2020 · 149
Uptown Folks
Heavy Hearted Jan 2020
I realize now while I pursue
an artful path away, from servitude
that better memories are minefields too
as they conjugate the life
I  once thought through
Jan 2020 · 179
Egan Lake
Heavy Hearted Jan 2020
Egan Lake, how I long for you
transcended isotropic view
In my departure somehow I knew

I would never be back;

here with you.
Dec 2019 · 236
Heavy Hearted Dec 2019
paranoia isn't pleasant

squeal patrician and yell peasant,

their criticism, effervescent

and advice glowing

scintillating incandescent-

dissatisfaction ever-present
Heavy Hearted Nov 2019
Sara I know you won't get this but Im writing it anyways- I think about you at the strangest times and I wish you could see the artist I've become and am going to be. You are permanently in my heart. I will make your mother a beautiful piece and I hope you can somehow see it. You are missed by such a random connection, me, just as strong as ever when it happens. I love you. Thank you for loving me too. Rest in peace, through the Mellin collie and the infinite sadness.
Megan timewell was the first person I ever wrote a poem for and first person to read and validate it as a  practice. This is a message I sent to the still active messenger account, of the long since parted Sara G.  And even as you walk amongst the shadows, you're still one beautifully bad *****

- Eric Pon

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