She saw a rainbow where he could only see black.
But together, they made a frame, keeping their picture perfect life intact.

She saw the sun where he was always captivated by the moon.
But together, they made each other's wishes come true and not a moment too soon.

She saw smiles where he drowned in the sadness of eyes.
But together, they made laughter and found truth amongst a million lies.

She saw beauty where he could only see regrets and pain.
But together, they made a life that could always be and would always remain.

She saw him where he would always find her.
And together, they made happiness that could span galaxies forever.

He loosened his hold.

He'd been hanging on for so **** long.

Finally, the realization hit after so many lies had been told.

He let go, knowing that it had always been wrong.

And it was a bold move, but the cold inside was suddenly removed.

He felt more free than he had in such a long while.

He slowly walked away, proudly showing off his freedom smile.

I keep searching for you everywhere

I don't remember where I saved those old pictures
And sometimes you're asleep when I want to talk
     But when I look inside my heart, where all my love is kept

I've found that you *completely fill it up

She saw words
           in stars
  And life had meaning
        When she
   followed her heart
Opened up for disaster
         to strike
But the matches of protection
     Were nothing alike

            She saw poetry
      in his eyes
And nothing ever looked
           as sweet as his
     laugh lines
 But the flow of the pen
          stopped short of madness
When she was born again
    
        She saw lyrics
   in every emotion
           And all the tears and smiles
      proved her devotion
But life had a way
          of sneaking up on her
    When she closed her eyes
            Before looking
        in every mirror

    She saw love and pain
all at the same time
        and she was hurt and happy
  By every one of his rhymes
          But nothing ever looked
     as beautiful as his
               piercing eyes
 But the flow of the pen
          stopped short of laughter
When she was *born again

I can't seem to shake this little quiver
          where my heart aches
   that leaves me with doubts
            and no faith,
        I don't wanna believe
     this is all another mistake
          but this tiny little voice says
                    it's all fake.
    It's in the back of mind,
      I think of all the other times,
             it scares me
   cause I want you as mine.
      Everyday that you say you love me,
            the voice gets a little quieter
and every time you say I'm beautiful,
         my eyes get a little brighter
    and every time I hear your voice,
the weight on my shoulders
              gets a little lighter.

Maybe my idea of beauty
            is different
    than yours
  Maybe my idea of perfection
            is not about what's less
       but about what's more
  Maybe my eyes can see through skin
     into the heart, soul and mind
              that's deep within
     Maybe, just maybe
             looking at what's inside
      is where we should all begin

I know no one's perfect
But is it really worth it
Just for a picture in your wallet?
Plastered on happy faces
Don't even know what day it is
Was there even a good reason for it?
You deny the lies behind the walls
While truths fall on center stage
Got the applause, but this ain't a game
And when the lights fade
You'll be regretting every decision you ever made
Life ain't just a picture or a keepsake
It's standing right in front of you
And you gotta live with every choice you make

Whether it be secrets or lies
She keeps them hidden inside
Miseries and agonies too
She's beside herself
Without the silence,
Too much noise breaks through
Not knowing what else to do
She runs to that place
Where she keeps her silence
Hidden away
It's dark there
And filled with so much pain
But she can never let the silence escape
Too many losses and nothing to gain
Let the tears rain, she can't explain
So, she hides herself in her dreams
With the silence she keeps

Running marathons through my mind
One of a kind
Time and time again
You keep playing this game
The rules always change
You're doing laps around the field
And I'm just your home base
A rest stop when you need to change lanes
Like I'm nitro for your ego
But I'm running low on oxygen
And you've had enough nitrogen
Keep scoring singles if you got to
But you're about to miss your chance
At a grand slam
Cause I'm scouting out a new partner
Who's playing the same game
That I am

"Wish in one hand and **** in the other."
Your disappointments leave me smothered!
Wake up tomorrow - why even bother?!
I'm just a drunk like my ******* father!
You say there's hope, but it's a ghost
A dream you wish to see at the most
I guess you can call me, "Skeptic"
Not paranoid - just ******* sick
Hell on Earth seems to be dawning quick!

Just a simple wish upon a star
You're abuse has gone too far
I'll just sleep off all the scars
Another shot of whiskey in my glass
Getting tipsy before I kick your ***
I just need to calm myself at long last
My dreams are filled with too many images of you
You're the past and I know that we're through
I guess all these demons will just have to do

Keep coming back, because I'm a ***** for more
I must be a ******* at the ******* core
Ptolemy - what's wrong with our souls?!
We look past the stars to gaze at black holes!
I don't believe and I can never be deceived,
for this paranoia permits no bit of reprieve
I guess everything is just as it seems -
idealized, and finalized - know what I mean?!

I know returning to you will only cause me pain
I'm no Queen but you're the King that reigns
As a lowly peasant, I know I must refrain
But there is just something that draws me to you
The stars have predicted the truth
And I know there's nothing I can do
You've moved on, I keep thinking about the past
I know the heartache cannot be surpassed
I'm just sorry that I ever asked

For my final ******* act the stage has just been set:
Dead man walking, but I don't have one regret
Is it the psychosis in my brain
or the necrosis in my veins?
Either ******* way, I've never been more sane
Head on to heartbreak - let romantics rot
Pardon this dead cat, but out of everything I've taught,
why was reciprocity the one you forgot?
If there's a cure for bad blood, you can keep it
Your ****'s been sewn so now it's time to reap it

Just because
I don't have the right
To be jealous
That doesn't mean
That I'm **not

All these knives in my back
         They don't even hurt anymore
   I mean, I'm sore
                 And it's intense
      But it doesn't make any sense
I must be at war
         With myself
      Tearing apart the insides of my brain
Have I gone insane?
           Why do I
Keep letting these things
              Happen to me?
       Is there a sign taped to my back
  Saying "Torture ME"?
            "Take Advantage Of ME"?
        "Love Me And Leave ME"?
    What's wrong with me?
            All this backstabbing
        Take this pen
And drag the ink into my spine
   Use the blood drops as a tattoo design
           The scars from all the knives
     Will just make it look more divine
Maybe some Angel wings
           With a sash torn apart
      and "Nobody Loves ME"
Written across the heart
            Might as well throw it all away
       Throw it all out the door
    I'm sore
          But all these knives in my back
     Don't even hurt anymore

Color the insides of my soul
With a black gloss paint

Empty the blood from my veins
Replace it with lava,
Keep it flowing through my heart

Fill my brain with tar
Let it harden,
To keep the headaches away

Turn my bones to to ash
Paint then neon orange flat paint
Because that's my favorite color

Make my skin redwood bark
Hard, to help keep away the pain
Because it's too much to handle

Erase my memories
Fill them in with a hypmotizing array
Of all the colors of the rainbow

I realize I'll look creepy
And scary as hell
But at least I won't feel anything
Anymore

I want nothing left
Of my miserable life
From before

Think about it...
Will you be haunted
By your **choices?

I just want to be known
I need to be heard
I just want people to remember my name
I'd love to make a difference
     in at least one person's life
I would like my words to resonate within
         at least one soul
I'd love for my rhymes to be the flow
    in which at least one heart beats
I need my life to mean something
I want my poetry to matter
        To anyone
          To  everyone
              To somebody
   To at least one single person

I would travel all night
Just to see your face

The sky is such a deep beautiful blue
It makes me think of you
Knowing that it's your favorite color
The stars are shimmering just right
Like the twinkle in your eyes, so bright
Thinking of the coming night makes me wonder
How could a simple color change my mind?
Who in the world said that love is blind?
Seeing the blush in your cheeks when you smile
How you know what I'm thinking by looking in my eyes
How you can see through my disguise and little white lies
Dreaming of your laugh lines drives me wild

So, as I walk towards my life late at night
The sky becomes a deeper midnight blue
And there's nothing I've ever seen in your eyes
That could ever make me stop loving you

I dont care about signing the divorce,
I've already told you that.
All I want is my kids,
more than just a few measly weekends,
I want them to not call her mommy,
I want my kids to learn from me,
I want my kids to know that I love them,
I want my kids to not be used as pawns
in your battle to hurt me.
I want my kids to not get hurt by this war
that you are starting with your arrogance
and inflated ego,
I want my kids to not be emotionally abused by you.
**I WANT MY KIDS TO HAVE THEIR MOTHER

I don't know
   If we're supposed to float along
        On a gentle breeze
     Or on a rolling ocean
With our minds at ease
         Or if it's a little bit of both
    And you just gotta believe

But I do know one thing
  Whichever way that you choose
          Life is never very easy
  But when happiness is on the line
     You have **nothing to lose

The truth is bleeding out of my pores
And yet the feelings are all bottled up inside
I fall out of my skin, disappearing out the back door
Losing my mind, struggling to find the best place to hide
Running laps around the sounds of my own screams
Trying to decide which dreams I should or should not believe
Thinking that my life is no more than it seems
And these struggles I have are sent by the devil to deceive
It works; the lies, the hate, the pain that I'm put through
It makes me break down and I get scared of the truth
But the suicidal thoughts in my mind all lead back to you
And the tears that stream down my cheeks burn like a fire
That's bigger than all the flames of rage from my youth
It hurts; it builds in my soul before it pours out my eyes
Becoming rivers that flood my life with disguises and lies
I don't know how to make it all fade away, to disappear
Because it's more than I can handle and I hate to admit it
But it fuels my spirit and awakens all my childhood fears
Chilling me to my core, causing me to give up, simply quit
How do I do that? How do I commit myself to suicide?
Is that what I really want? Is that truly what I need?
Do I believe that my life is only my choice to decide?
And if I hide in the corners of my mind, will I still bleed?
These are the things I ask myself every morning when I wake up
As I stare at all the sugar settled at the bottom of my coffee cup
Then the caffeine hits me and I finally start to think clearly
What was I thinking? There is no way in hell I'll ever give up

Nothing*
        fills the soul
Like the fruit
            of your **womb

Poetry is art
      Poetry is visual

Poets can see the words

The way a play write
Can see the actors on stage
       with every line he writes

The way a musician
Can see the notes dance on air
       with every key she plays

The way a sculptor
Can see the final sculpture
       with every cut of their knife

The way a painter
Can see the waves of the ocean
        with every stroke of blue
                  on a blank canvas

Poetry is visual
      Poetry is art
            Poets are artists
       They write **from the heart

Regretting Some Past Mistakes
Realizing what's actually At stake
Feeling so helpless and confused
So many memories of your abuse
Screaming, kicking, punching
Just too much fighting
You always knew the best ways to hurt me
Now you wanna take away what means everything
Like your final play to torture me
For eternity
What right do you have to judge me?
To look down upon me?
I am only all that you've made of me
This so called monster that you love to hate
Is just the manifestation of what you helped create
You WILL regret this
In the end, you will lose
I won't let you win, not again
They'll realize what you're trying to do
Remembering the years of abuse
And they'll HATE you
You can never destroy a mother's love
Although I know you're willing to try
When I win this battle for what I hold dear
Don't come crawling to me with tears in your eyes
Cause I won't be here

There's just something* about the way the light shines off *your eyes like emeralds in their purest form just dug out from the ground.

There's just something in the way the words flow off your tongue like the wide array of colors that flowed off of Picasso's brush onto his canvas.

There's just something about the slow and steady movements you make in life, like it's a game of chess but you're the knight,  I'm the Queen and you're always a dozen moves ahead.

There's just something in your smile that radiates laughter, hope and joy like it's the sun and if we all didn't see it at least once a day, we might just **wither away.

Today, a mistake was made
              Some words were said,
      my sight went red
and my bond with you was severely frayed
       Now, I'm ******.
  Here's something that you missed
        you ****** up
     I've been betrayed
        So go to Hell and tell Satan
    you're a heathen worth hating

Today, a memory was lost
              Some things were forgotten
      I'm paying the cost
and all the love we shared has been tossed
       Out the window
  Here's something you don't know
           I ******* hate you
        I'm over all the *******
      So next time you decide to speak my name
   Remember you lost and I'm the game

Today, a truth shined through
         all the lies
   in which you relied
       I can't stand how I got ******* while you always got the best of me
        Now I'm enraged enough to say,  
             "*******!"
Yeah, today my blood congealed
               I sewed the wound shut,
       but the scar will never heal
                For this,
      I ******* hate you.
and I hope your death hurts a great deal

Today, a lie was told
      As if it was the gods honest truth
             I can see it all clearly now
  But what's the use?
      I'm tattered, battered and abused
And I'm blaming it all on you
              I've lost so much already
     What else is there to lose?
         I ******* hate you!
What story is there to tell?
          What's left to say?
      How about this....
                *GO TO HELL!!!

If you accidentally
             fall out of love,
Do you just dive
                back in head first?
           Feet first??
                     Eyes closed???
        Cannon ball????
             Or
Do you walk away
       Cause you can't swim
And you're scared to death
                   of *drowning?????

My unshed tears
Are flooding the hole
*In my chest...

The green and the gold
Worth more than you are ever told
But you're not so bold

She shouted from the roof tops
Her love for him
And how it would never stop

He simply stared at her
In utter shock
nobody could ever love me
Or so he thought...

She smiled with her arms spread apart
Waiting for a response

He stood there silently
Unable to move but wanting to walk
Walk away from the lies
Cause he'd been hurt too many times

She begged and pleaded
Trying to make him believe
It's the truth she said

But he couldn't respond
Simply turned around to leave
women only hurt me
Was all he could believe
Too much pain and abuse
For those lies to become the truth

She sunk inside herself
Filled with pain and so many tears
After years of trying
She finally faced her fears
Only to be hit with rejection
Imperfections of love
Shown at there finest
She couldn't stand her thoughts...

He slowed his walk
Thought about the past
Suddenly came to realize
This life is your last
And there on that roof top
He may have finally found some hope
So he stopped his walk
Turned around to accept the truth
Only to find
That she had jumped off...

There's no hope in a mountain of regret
         Yet,
             we keep on climbing
    And piling it higher
                and higher
     Hoping to reach the top
                Knowing all we'll see
    Is the smoke floating
           from bridges we've burned
     And a  t r  a   i   l
                  of mistakes
   Leading to the lessons
             we thought we learned
     But regret has a funny way of sneaking up on you
            Thinking you're in the clear
     Making a run for it
Then smashing right into
       that MOUNTAIN you built out of fear
    Looking back is easier than looking ahead
           Cause there's nothing left to fear
            If you're *already dead...

Love is a
     shooting star...
It's rarely there
      Never
     seen for very long
Beautiful
           Always
              so far away
       And yet...
  You keep
          wishing on it

There's more that meets the eyes
And this will never change
It's too complicated to explain why
The answer will never be the same
Just remember to hold us when we cry
And beware those moments we act insane
Sometimes a firm, warm place to land
Is the only thing to soothe our weary brain
Were difficult at best, impossible at worst
But true love is always on our mind first
Some women want the finer things in life
Some just want children and to be a good wife
Others need to be held and reassured constantly
Some just want to trust and receive honesty
No matter the woman, you'll never understand us all
But keep in mind... There's no greater feeling than the fall

Happiness
      Is bound
          By light
   In a cruel,
               **dark
       World.

Everything has
           An unexpected
                  meaning
    If you look deep enough

   Nothing is for naught
       Entomb the misery
           Within your heart

                 Love fully
         Hide carefully
                   Hate sparingly
               Cry as needed
          Trust meagerly

        Never
            EVER
     Let life bring you down

Fill my cup
     with your scent
   Let me drown
           in your essence
               I'm dying
           of thirst
And you're the only
      sustenance
On which
      I can thrive
   And finally
        *Feel alive

you wanna fall apart
say you're so weak
keep your thoughts in the dark

you wanna leave us in the dust
but I cant be strong enough
for the both of us

Chorus:
i need you here
standing tall
right beside me
together we can fall
in love
I want you with me
our hearts in awe
entwined as one
together we can fall
in love

you wanna run away
say you're not good enough
keep your heart at bay

you wanna lock yourself up
but I cant be strong enough
for the both of us

Chorus:
i need you here
standing tall
right beside me
together we can fall
in love
I want you with me
our hearts in awe
entwined as one
together we can fall
in love

without you I'm weak
without you I'm not good enough

you wanna be afraid
say you're scared of us
but together we are stronger
strong enough

Chorus:
i need you here
standing tall
right beside me
together we can fall
in love
I want you with me
our hearts in awe
entwined as one
together we can fall
in love

without you I'm locked away
but together we can fall
in love

without you I'm afraid
but together we can fall
in love

in love
together
we can fall