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Dec 2021 · 578
therapy is a scam
mark soltero Dec 2021
it’s okay to be in love with the dying light
spending your evenings away from reality
things that make you forget about burning
and while the lasting memory haunts you
it’s cold embrace feels right
the just emotional whirlwind that feels pure
fuels your sense of being
time erodes away its value
but sometimes its strength transforms
i want to hold my former self
tell him that life is going to be painful
but he can be stronger
to make him understand isolation is chosen alienation is given
stagnation isn’t a confine to misery
virtuosity isn’t fulfilling
and sometimes the pawn’s value outweighs the king
and to live in the shadow of your own worth is a disgrace to one’s own constant growth
transformation strength feels right isolation self value  stagnation
Dec 2021 · 458
Out of My Control
mark soltero Dec 2021
strobing images flash inside
your body out of sight
you’re temporary love in his arms
his body is now your throne
your home away from me
a shrine to his transgressions
in the dark you lie to them
and you love it too
pretending the shackles you don are for him
Dec 2021 · 760
mass
mark soltero Dec 2021
moving backwards farther than before
can’t look at myself anymore
they made me bruise my skin
generosity is lame
authenticity is a facade
your empty promises will buy it all
jealousy resides in my heart to this day because of them
flashbacks haunt me
green lights guide me down away from reality
save me from my former
a sad child out for revenge
cold to touch
fully detached and shaking
haunting visions of time spent in delusion
lie to feel
lie to escape
feel the power behind that
behind the bile and tears were strength
i regret the times when i had it all
nights spent with myself loathing my own
a boken mirror is like drinking alone
sometimes i think im dying
but i’m not worth saving
break the cycle
but what’s the point
Oct 2021 · 881
TW: ED
mark soltero Oct 2021
bile splatters the wall
dreadful peace fills my veins at once
it’s all going to be okay
the worst of this is tooth decay
i can’t rely on others to know better

how can something so disgusting feel this pure
why does this burn in my throat bring me closer to perfection
tears feel valid only when they’re forced
it all feels so wrong
but i can’t let go of this control
peace can’t stay here anymore

but don’t leave me like everyone else has
i’ve given up on everything
i can’t face the world without you
tears shed just for you to stay
please lie in this filth next to me
don’t flee like the rest
there’s no other way i can cope today

the mirror leaves me unrecognizable
the reflection is a lie
you can’t let this happen
here to destroy me
the progress we’ve made
i can’t become an embarrassment once again
i brought you here to take on some of this grief

lonely times in the bathroom
the tile still feels so cold
warmth you gave feels like daggers in my stomach
like bugs trying to escape
i didn’t eat the food
it’s eating away at me
I AM SORRY BUT I'VE BEEN FEELING BAD AND NO I'VE NOT RELAPSED THAT WAS MY MINDSET YEARS AGO, I'M JUST FEELING BAD ABOUT MY WEIGHT GAIN FROM MY ANTIPSYCHOTICS
Oct 2021 · 324
cranberry
mark soltero Oct 2021
slowly chipping away my manhood
with my lips pressed against the cylinder
sweet and softly wrapped around
ready to take the blow

ridiculous in my silly little ways
my desire to die was unkind

the bottom of the bottle is bittersweet
but only if you want it to be

the salty bedrock tastes like hell
life in pain is okay
you're already dead that way

you only left small burns in my heart
I bet you never even felt that
but I never cared it seems
and I think that's only fair to me to believe that
Sep 2021 · 1.0k
never meant for me
mark soltero Sep 2021
goal oriented affections mean nothing

do i have a problem he asked
ungripped from the idea of desire
slight misunderstandings amongst those present
watch it all unfold

beneficial mistakes led to destiny
beautiful positions fill the space between
pure vanity overtakes love not meant to be

affections without true purpose
lungs spilling the life you have
on the brink of death
all for the misuse of her humility

simply to be with the girl of your dreams
broken hearts between brought you to me he realized
the lives he's taken before was worth it
mark soltero Sep 2021
man was the first to preform suicide
natural born martyrs
too sick to bring themselves to eat their own filth
our strongest are easiest to fall
men were not made to survive
but sequential installments are in
follow suite in order to remain on top
in order to fall farther
Sep 2021 · 517
GRAND RIVER OF KNOWLEDGE
mark soltero Sep 2021
HEAVEN ON EARTH IS A FALSE NARRATIVE
HELL IS OUR TRUE REALITY
THE MIND IS AN INESCAPABLE CAGE
Aug 2021 · 888
depth
mark soltero Aug 2021
do you read my cowardly letters still
the pain in my fingers i felt
time spent to tell you the love i have
it's fair to say that i can't be away
unhealthy longing to hold you
i wish things were better
your wounds are closing up
i noticed it the other night
thank you for holding me
when you touch me
everything feels fine again
i hope i'm healing your head too
i can't stand to be away from you
Aug 2021 · 440
and i'm disappointed
mark soltero Aug 2021
please fix what's broken inside me
i've tried a hundred times
and i can't seem to make it right
there's nothing inside me that shines anymore

i killed off yesterday
so there wouldn't be today
yet i woke up again this morning
Aug 2021 · 1.2k
ugly
mark soltero Aug 2021
there's no kindness in my eyes
fleeting emotions of grandeur leave
my body always feels broken after i feel alive
who's that stranger looking back at me
the reflection in the mirror lies
mark soltero Aug 2021
exposed myself
my true form
present in a moment's time
glimpses of me
rushed sequences in your mind

we stayed in
just like i planned
my heart doesn't ache
please don't put your hands on me anymore
i know that this is only momentarily

nothing you do can amount to what i felt before
mark soltero Aug 2021
down the pavement
we're moving fast
the sun is coming up
my whole world has been turned upside down
nowhere to go
you tell me to relax

the sense of hope fills me
little did i know this was the start of our life
Aug 2021 · 820
prom king
mark soltero Aug 2021
infatuated with me
you became my biggest enemy
something insincere about how you wanted me
i was there to take the edge off
coke binges at the bar every other night
and you wonder why your hairline is moving backwards
you caused my mood to lose all stability then
crying for your attention
you were starving for us to look past your lack of personality
you didn't need a reality show
you needed a reality check
at the time you were 23
way too old for me
you were grasping at straws to be pretty
we can see the crow's feet setting in and your liver failing
no amount of jogging can bring back your peak
you're the biggest cliché
you go to emo night unironically
you said you saw yourself in me
we are not the same
remember you were a prom king
Aug 2021 · 944
bleeding
mark soltero Aug 2021
on your wrist resides your heart
it's love to hold whenever you're feeling alone
defensive you protect yourself
you're careful to expose such a delicate part
the solace and power you need are within you
this is clear
Aug 2021 · 704
in your pocket
mark soltero Aug 2021
rain falls on roof tops
acid desecrates energy in the air
rain falls onto us
sprinkling in your hair
we look perfect
skin soft
deflection corrupts meaning
but the acid obliterates any sign of fear
pain that we bear is nothing for vanity
gasping for a breath to see past depression
bear the burden of self awareness with me
move forward
lovely words to follow
we mean them dearly
insert our minds into perfect reality
Aug 2021 · 1.3k
disciple
mark soltero Aug 2021
set in with uncertainty
we watch the sun go down
scarlet beams from the sky illuminate your pity

remember the night you looked stunning
the sky hit your skin
our bodies vibrated in the warm tides

it was wonderful right
Aug 2021 · 893
not what you wanted
mark soltero Aug 2021
excruciating disgust boiling inside
push down into my wounds
bleed myself dry
because i am but a weak man
with no spine
looking above
spit dripping down my lip
salt excreted out of my pores
gasping for the strength to melt away
i cry at night
rotting away because i’m not right
misused and disregarded
i am the rotten apple
when you picked me
you were mistaken
because you didn’t check the other side
mark soltero Aug 2021
look in my eyes
please don't mind me
i'm not unhappy
unaware of how the world works
i only patronize you sarcastically

please show me your skin i say
stop hiding behind silence
we will see a better day
Aug 2021 · 324
1.5
mark soltero Aug 2021
1.5
what could you say
spending every night in doubt
feeling empty and alone next to me
light dwindled on reeling memories
flickers of hope died in vain
gut wrenching burns within
letting go is slower than it takes to die
but you want to stay here
the slightest hope in this love
i just want to be next to you
forever
even if you don't
Jul 2021 · 916
flight 182
mark soltero Jul 2021
i live here on the bedrock
tunnel vision
it’s difficult to see

sometimes it’s just grey
there used to be easier ways to get out
before i became baggage
left behind, raided and rotting

a shell of what used to be there
mark soltero Jul 2021
you don’t want me anymore
the touch of my skin crawls from your insides
what is it baby

you used to love laying next to me
now you stare off when you say I love you
if you’ve fallen out of love with me
please lay down by my side one last time

i know how it feels
you finally typed out that sentence with tears in your eyes
it’s more real than ever

im so sorry you’re hurt
but i still want to hold you
Jun 2021 · 706
waiting
mark soltero Jun 2021
waiting for you
distractions ensued
they took over the space you filled in me
but they rather squat here
than reside in such a desolate place
you created this space inside of me
that cannot be filled no matter what I do
I needed to find something new
something unknown
to fill the space between me and this world
when you didn't take my hand it didn't work
because regal thoughts of us killed my brain
they began as delightful dreams
just to fall asleep with you in my bed for once
you were my light and you were the sun
then everything went black
Jun 2021 · 416
'78 firebird
mark soltero Jun 2021
tonight I am elated
I feel just fine
things can change
people can learn to be kind with time
you can find me at the edge
cause I'm close but never ready to jump
you can trust me to never fall
drive against the coil
so I may not find peace
because tonight I can be anything
to feel good I don't care how
my desires grow I don't care why
close to the edge
tonight I want to feel fine
I don't care anymore please
Jun 2021 · 346
baconbits
mark soltero Jun 2021
turning diamonds into ****
we blindly follow into the center of the earth
looking for more within
we can never get enough
we're fixated on the look
you stopped living just to eat diamonds
just to feed the worm
nothing equates to satiating its hunger
a sinful self destruction
jump into your demise
flying high to crash hard
we could never eat enough
you let the worm take hold just to feel alive
mark soltero Jun 2021
his actions speak louder than his mouth
it's a wonder he still lives
lacerations left on his neck lie deep in his skin
their eternal impressions were left for you to find him again
Jun 2021 · 472
nocturnal demise awaken cry
mark soltero Jun 2021
wisdom with age is unfathomable
thoughts escape the psyche
words become dull
what's unknown
is what triggers fear
thinking can change everything
cleaning the wounds of yesterday
but with age the jagged day no longer breaks the skin
as cells die and life escapes the lungs
one can rot away happily
forgive the urges of imbalance
thoughts become less bold
they hurt less as the minutes tick
eternal clock nears its last hour
the last breathe is always untroubled
final acts are supposed to break the struggle
Jun 2021 · 504
trust??
mark soltero Jun 2021
trust is something sharp to hold
for someone important
in a perfect world we'd never bleed over one another
chrome blades dig into each person
who lost grip with their loved one
in a perfect world trust would be dull
significance is in the blade
filled inside of the atoms
are the affections, promises and lust we carry
a perfect world is plastic
empty atoms
hollow and dead on the inside contain nothing
I rather take the blade than poison myself
Jun 2021 · 990
saving grace for the fool
mark soltero Jun 2021
the fool
created his own woes
sorrows laid into his red nose
dirt fills his mind
nothing pure and full of sin
sadistic miseries fill him within
the fool only knows negatives
his life called for nothing but ridicule
if only the fool knew
that he could command an audience
he rather cry in silence
die and rot away to the dirt that used to fill him
Jun 2021 · 1.1k
martyr in the first degree
mark soltero Jun 2021
crashing

when you're gone
i can't land alright
nothing holding me back
gravity pushes me in agreeance
good riddance  
i was never apart of the blueprint
there wasn't a plan
space out and decide to implode
your immaturity exceeds normalcy

crushed
May 2021 · 117
real life
mark soltero May 2021
try to pretend you’re not mine
just to feel the pain
the sweet emotions of sorrow
lingering from my old life
the feelings you guarded
me is what you need
hard to swallow
your love is what created this
somehow i don’t want you
i need you
but it’s not the same
as it was before
because with each i love you
they comes from a place of purity
you mean the world to me
how do you live your own fantasy
when it’s been with me
May 2021 · 1.3k
close your eyes
mark soltero May 2021
skin on my own
your body belongs to me
blood dripping from my mouth
just to let you know how much i love you
May 2021 · 1.1k
what is wrong with me then?
mark soltero May 2021
your skin creates peace inside me
creating wrinkles in time
i find myself constantly longing to feel you close
for us to create friction between gravity
our inertia to propel us into voids of pleasure
nothing between us is what i desire
but when you deny me
black holes devour me
crushing my guts into pulp
bleeding me with your rejection
i blend till i am nothing from what i began
mark soltero May 2021
things are going to be grey
breathing tar inside
created nights without a sunrise

innocence breeds hopelessness in this world  
don't cry your pains in order to foster their intensity

dark things spoken will play around the mind
like children they scream and curdle throughout the night
chilling sensations wrap around while they mutate

greedy lungs withhold oxygen
their offspring drain the logic from reality

last breaths taken care for the innocent evils that live within
we don't lie for ourselves
when we begin to give life to those living inside our head
it's nothing but negative metamorphisis
Apr 2021 · 686
bb
mark soltero Apr 2021
bb
let me sing
until the day that i die
that i won't
because it's hard to remember
it's going to happen one day
hopefully the lovers i didn't want
can cry for me
because no one will be
maybe the girl next to me will be there
i just don't want to be alone
can't face the darkness by myself  
she's the kingslayer of my dreams
ready to save me
Apr 2021 · 778
wtw
mark soltero Apr 2021
wtw
streamy nights here
your heart beats so fast
we sweat
it doesn't matter when it's us
so much for you
the pulse of me
life in me defined
can be felt inside from within
i can finally see clearly here together
take me when i'm with you
and come with me wherever you'll go
here we lay down in the dark
moonlight cleanses our love
what i would do for our son
Apr 2021 · 543
fleur du mal
mark soltero Apr 2021
sometimes i am not the one
you taught me that

narcissistic to my core i will admit
i never thought that i could do what we've done

you get to know me on the same level as god
because i have allowed you to

you have kept and created spots in my heart
that only you could fill

you make me feel like bag on the freeway
floating, fast and melting at the seam
Apr 2021 · 101
perra d'ice
mark soltero Apr 2021
tears don't dry
they drown you

when you're crying forever
they don't tell you that you may die

dehydration that comes
it comes without pleasure
just to ruin your day

why don't we appreciate
when others try harder
or when their things are better

why don't we just stop
forever and ever
voids inside the universe should overtake us
we were never truly fit to live

we were made to cycle
and to turn to dust
to rot away and die
not to wallow and cry
Apr 2021 · 626
fake love is kind
mark soltero Apr 2021
empty emotions
fuel the deep devotions of yesterday
nothing fulfilling
no true feelings
there was nothing in between
nothing breathing
lifeless ill intended words
that feel like promises
only fueled what made you die
Apr 2021 · 98
daze
mark soltero Apr 2021
your lips so soft
limp for mine
to lead us into the intentions of hope
hope for love
for forever
and the day after that
kiss in sync
and slide against me
with your being
body of a goddess
a lot of living tonight
love isn’t my only shared desire
it’s everything you long for
i want to be the comfort at night
the warm feeling in your eyes
glowing for your heart
accept the beauty of our souls
the concept of together
mark soltero Apr 2021
Im in my head again
I feel sick
overtaken with tar
Time is not relative here
long and continuous
I feel ashamed
of the damage
the damage of blood spilled for wrath
misguided words
cut deep
cruelly numbing your nerves
a shock to our nervous systems
i want to cut me away for you
starve my old self
restrain his limbs
make him limp
That’s over never again
shut your eyes
please forgive
I want to see your grin
not to lose you once more
please believe the words of the *****
his honesty is Frank
But refreshing
a lashing is needed
But don’t depart again
refresh the system
Apr 2021 · 422
goddamn you
mark soltero Apr 2021
telling me to grow up
it feels constructive
when you insert the potassium chloride into me
gay as morbid men’s amusement
spill into my bloodstream
some children cry
but sometime ago
i let out so many tears that i died
chloride can only preserve what i’ve seen
it’s all nothing
there’s no more dreams
where do i go at night
i can’t tell you the last thing that child uttered
his final breath didn’t matter
boys don’t cry after all
they **** their minds and **** what’s left
Apr 2021 · 394
i own swag
mark soltero Apr 2021
once you’re by my side
high off of it
nothing can deny me of your heart
no more time to live in yesterday
Apr 2021 · 427
shoot
mark soltero Apr 2021
starving to lick your wounds
clean and fresh
i really love you
special and divine
it is hard to swallow
what seems to be knives
sometimes we cry
it’s casual *******
painful close and loving relief
your heart beats with mine
the pain that comes with our current residence
unprecedented times
get stronger as we age like wine
pull me with you
all i want is you with i
Apr 2021 · 356
disposable
mark soltero Apr 2021
high octane whippets
bring me closer to sin
lied about remorse
it’s hard to break
to cement my place in hell
thrones made within myself
mindful thoughts of decadence
barren lies the boy
filled with tar and hate
selfish ingrate
no longer a problem
his death left no mark
condescending little ****
stands here his grave
Apr 2021 · 1.1k
effervescence
mark soltero Apr 2021
here we are
our ingestion to stop time
you and i
beaming for me
your gaze of comfort calms us to shore
to be safe
to be beautiful like you
captivating me with your purity
flawless rays of effervescent emotions
shine and bestow blessings for us
that are oh so holy
fated i am to explore your ocean
lost was i without your smile
doomed without your touch
you burned a hole in my heart
where you now live
inside of me
like the sigh of release
with me entering your soul
your pleasure is my desire
i dont want you like the boys before me
Apr 2021 · 60
matrimony
mark soltero Apr 2021
sigh sinful dreams in my ear
just for me
your body vibrates in ecstasy
it needs a touch so heavenly
to come inside your skin
and see your ***** longings
i want you to bleed
hurt for me
gasping in my ear
ride out the storm here
dear beloved
gather your love here
just a taste of your love can only satisfy
make it clear
Apr 2021 · 177
apology secs
mark soltero Apr 2021
don’t just love me
kiss me right
you make me feel so shy
terrains ablaze
everything is so beautiful when we take a bite
boiling under my skin
the love i keep
we won’t be alone
free of sin
sometimes it’s hard to not play the martyr
sorry if it makes you cry
each time it’s out
we realize
Apr 2021 · 61
F*ckboy
mark soltero Apr 2021
maniacal boy
ugly smile
please can you just stay awhile
pretty ill intent
vertigo thoughts cloud within
not knowing the difference
between heaven and sin
create a new god
modeled after his  own
will you stay
once his colors grow dull and old
faded to grey
maniacal boy
your greatest lay
Apr 2021 · 54
trance
mark soltero Apr 2021
real life fantasies
coming into your own vanity
let our bodies dance
whisper your sweet breathless love
give me that glance
to make me feel you
deeper than anyone
pull me closer
into your dark world
let me carry these feelings out of the void
i will forever be your boy
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