She was scattered, shattered, a soul in disarray
Every heartbreak chipped a piece of her away
She became hollow, an empty shell
A shadow of the body she used to dwell

He strolled into her life with his kind and gentle touch
Pieced her back together, made her feel a rush
Showed her she is worthy of love and affection
Helped her rebuild with care and perfection

Now she is under construction, but it is different this time
She's not fixing what was broken, instead building a new paradigm
A relationship built on trust, mutual respect, and devotion
Love that strengthens and grows with each passing emotion

He reminded me how to breathe
By leaving me breathless

You are the pen to my paper
The muse to my art
Through my words
You will live forever
In the hearts of those
Whose eyes have gazed
Upon the work you inspired.

Artists minds
Have fragile souls
The delicate way
We pen our words
Shows our vulnerability

We bare our scars
Triumphs
Hopes and dreams
To heal the pain
Of our wounded hearts

We must create
For our own understanding
Self-discovery
To process the turmoil
And calm our fears and anxiety

Tattooing our thoughts
On our readers minds
Letting each person who reads
Carry a piece of the pain with them
Until there is none left

I want to know every part of you

From your head to your toes
From the mole by your nose
To the smell in your clothes

From your hopes to your dreams
To the way your eye gleams
When you reminisce about past schemes

From your heart to your soul
From what makes you whole
To what makes you lose control

I want to know every part of you

Your attention is my addiction,
And I need a fix.

Loneliest  is the moment
When you have no one to run to
The one that eases the pain
Is the one causing the hurt
Where do I go now? To whom do I turn?
Back to the lips that lied?
Back to the finger tips that betrayed?

I am a blank canvas
Begging for an artist
To add a little color to my life

Fingertips tracing your chest
Head rested upon your shoulder
Lips pressed against my forehead
These are the moments
That I take extra care
Memorize every curve of your body
The rise and fall of your chest
Your heart in my hand
So when we are apart
I can still feel your warmth
Until you can hold me again

She longs for nights filled with sparks
lust and pleasure
Whiskey lips and naked kisses
Bodies close together

POETRY-
Words written
To heal the wounds
From words spoken

Your lips on my neck
And your hand between my thighs
Is better than any antidepressant
A dr could prescribe

Do not misinterpret my silence
As an absence of fortitude
I choose to raise my pen
Instead of my voice
Your spoken words
Will fade with time
My words will remain
Ink stained imprints on your mind
Long after I’m forgotten

Do not assume
Because I stay quiet
When you are angry
That I am weak

It takes far more strength
To stay silent
Than it does to say
All the hurtful things on my tongue

Do not assume
Because I love you
With every fiber of my being
That I can’t live without you

I have lived
After having my heart
Ripped straight out of my chest
Multiple times

I awoke to a sunrise so beautiful
Monet himself dare not
Attempt to capture its beauty

The night is full of lonely people
With whiskey on their breath
And pain in their hearts
Watching the world pass by
With glassy eyes

It is not the future that I am afraid of
The prospect of repeating the past
Is what scares me the most

Why do we search
For comfort and healing
In the hands of those
That broke us in the first place?

when my drugs begin to fail
and self-inflicted thoughts prevail

I run to the shower
where in peace I can cower

turn on the water, scalding hot
focus on  pain instead of thought

I used to burn myself, but I became more shrewd
water doesn't make a mark, no scars accrued

until I can breathe I will run the water
turning it up hotter and hotter

I emerge as if I am anew
and not a soul has a clue

because you cant see tears when they fall in the shower
and at least I managed to live for another hour

When she looks at me
I hope she sees
Unconditional love

Not selfishness
Broken trust
And unfulfilled promises

I hope someday she understands
I did this for her
Not for me

Your mood changes
Like the second hand on a clock
My hour hand keeps moving
But I just can't keep up

My head says
You were never mine to lose

My heart says
I lost you all the same

I live and breathe these words
Raw emotions
Failed relationships
Love, lust, and heartbreak
These words are my life
My sanity
My blood, sweat, and tears
These words are all I have
When all is said and done
And I will cling to them
Because they are the only acceptance
I have ever known

Anxiety gripping my mind like a vice
Trapped in my own head; paralyze

Paranoia creeping in like a slow rolling fog
Unable to control my inner monologue

Panic strikes without warning
Drowning in my own mourning

Heart racing, shallow breath
Wondering if this is death

She will go out tonight
With hair higher than her standards
And heels higher than her self esteem
Looking for love
In all the wrong places

We haven’t been happy for years,
But still we stay together.
We just hurt each other,
and call it love.

Is this what the future holds for me?
A life full of lies and fake smiles?
We are both clinging so tight,
To a love that faded years ago.

Whispers of doubt and regret
Ring in my ears, a deafening duet

With every passing moment, they grow louder still
A cacophony of chaos; thoughts continue to spill

I try to drown them out, scrolling, music, T.V.
Yet they persist, keeping me constant company

I try to reason with them, to find some reprieve
They are stubborn and unyielding, just won't leave

It’s invisible
But I see it every day
They say there’s no cure
It is here to stay

The symptoms are manageable
You’ll be just Fine
Just exercise more
And be careful when you dine

There’s nothing left to prescribe
The doctors are at a loss
Taking over my body
PCOS has become the boss

Managing symptoms has become my struggle
I don’t know how much more I can juggle

With

Your words already undressed me,
Before your hands got the chance.

Look into my soul
You’ll see walls a mile high
Unreachable and safe
Confined and alone

She made a five year plan
With a 3 year man

How can I give you what you need
when you have yet to discover it yourself?