She made a five year plan
With a 3 year man

Call her needy, clingy, and pathetic.
Laugh at her for needing reassurance,

But know this:

You are laughing at the little girl
whose mother never picked her up from school.

The girl who waited by the phone
for a Christmas call that never came.

Laughing at the numerous
unanswered letters and cards.

The girl who taught herself
about her body and boys.

Laughing at a tearstained face
when she got the voicemail again.

Laughing at the woman who got herself ready
on her wedding day because her mom didnt come.

The woman that waited at the hospital
but gave birth alone.

So call her what you want,

But know this:

You are laughing at the issues
following the abandonment
of a girl who just needed her mom.

Your lips on my neck
And your hand between my thighs
Is better than any antidepressant
A dr could prescribe

Anxiety;
Killing me slowly
Caged;
A prisoner to my mind wholly

Enslaved;
By the thoughts in my head
Wishing;
To finally wake up dead

Anxiety
Fear Nausea
Pacing Crying Nervous
Sleeping Eating or Lack Thereof
Restless Worry Panic
Distress Mistrust
Suffering

Artists minds
Have fragile souls
The delicate way
We pen our words
Shows our vulnerability

We bare our scars
Triumphs
Hopes and dreams
To heal the pain
Of our wounded hearts

We must create
For our own understanding
Self-discovery
To process the turmoil
And calm our fears and anxiety

Tattooing our thoughts
On our readers minds
Letting each person who reads
Carry a piece of the pain with them
Until there is none left

You lit me up, then put me out
Tried to pick up my broken pieces
Repair what you destroyed
Realizing too late, I’ve become ash
Never to be whole again

Your words cut deeper
Than the blade at my wrist

You are as blinding as the sun
But that doesn’t stop me from staring
You are as unreachable as the stars
But that doesn’t stop me from wishing

He reminded me how to breathe
By leaving me breathless

Every time a heart breaks
It grows a little harder

You broke her heart
But she still loves you
With all the pieces

Burn me once;
Shame on you

Burn me twice;
Shame on me

Burn me three times;
I build an impenetrable fortress around my heart

Whispers of doubt and regret
Ring in my ears, a deafening duet

With every passing moment, they grow louder still
A cacophony of chaos; thoughts continue to spill

I try to drown them out, scrolling, music, T.V.
Yet they persist, keeping me constant company

I try to reason with them, to find some reprieve
They are stubborn and unyielding, just won't leave

Tell me this!
How can you cage a bird
When you fell in love
Whilst watching it fly?

We haven’t been happy for years,
But still we stay together.
We just hurt each other,
and call it love.

Is this what the future holds for me?
A life full of lies and fake smiles?
We are both clinging so tight,
To a love that faded years ago.

I am a blank canvas
Begging for an artist
To add a little color to my life

On most nights the sky is my sanctuary
I feel safe and still
Laying under the stars

Meteor showers
Leave me refreshed; inspired
Engulfed in the beauty of our universe

Not tonight

I feel intimidated
By the empty spaces
Between the stars

It reminds me
Of the empty spaces
In my heart

I look to the sky
To find peace of mind
My celestial sanctuary

Not tonight

All I see is chaos
As streaks of light
Chase each other through the sky

My mind is crumbling
Bit by bit
With each falling star

You handcuffed my dreams to your bed
And that’s where they'll lay, until I’m dead

The WAY you spend Christmas
Is much more important
Than how much you SPEND
On Christmas

You were her muse
Every time she picked up her pen
Undoubtedly she knew
Her clumsy heart fell again

She was like black coffee
Dark and bittersweet
But so very addictive

Why do we search
For comfort and healing
In the hands of those
That broke us in the first place?

I started a war
Within myself
To avoid
A conflict with you

Most count sheep when trying to sleep
I count lies that have been told to me

While they count sheep
I count stars

- The upside to insomnia

Courage does not exist without fear.
We must choose to rise above
Our fears and insecurities.
This is where true courage lies.

When she looks at me
I hope she sees
Unconditional love

Not selfishness
Broken trust
And unfulfilled promises

I hope someday she understands
I did this for her
Not for me

It amazes me
How quickly change occurs
You can be a part of my life
But I’m no longer part of yours

You found happiness
I am delighted for you
Does that mean I must be replaced
By the one shiny and new?

I thought you were my rock
A constant I could lean on
I thought we were un-breakable
I couldn’t have been more wrong

As our friendship dwindles
And we walk our separate ways
I know it’s time
To prepare for darker days

I thrive in the darkness
I'm better off being heartless

She is my everything
My universe
I live everyday
With telescope eyes
Constantly in awe
Of her celestial beauty