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Feb 5 · 1.2k
Coffin For Two
She Writes Feb 5
I cried all night ‘til the sun rose
Still laying in our bed
While across from me your eyes closed
Pretty pictures in your head

Do you see I am drowning?
In a pool of tears for you
All the while you say you love me
And I believe you like a fool

There is no love
In a house built on lies
Each time one slips your tongue
I can see it in your eyes

You love me to death
What am I to do?
I won’t be without you
Build a coffin for two?
Feb 5 · 141
Fade
She Writes Feb 5
I can feel you fading away
Slowly, as if it's all in my head
Slipping through the cracks
Of your cold and tired embrace

You want to leave me
I can feel the lack of warmth
Attempting to let me down slowly
Only to prolong the pain

Just go if you want to go
Leave me here to crumble
It’s my time, it’s my destiny
When you leave I will fade too
Breakup alone sad heartbreak suicide tired leave destiny
Aug 2021 · 449
Listen to the Cri De Couer
She Writes Aug 2021
In her bones
A cri de couer lies
Begging for liberation
From the ruminations
Her tongue infixed
Upon every inch
Of her beaten down body
Apr 2021 · 2.9k
Loud Silence
She Writes Apr 2021
Nothing is louder
Than silent tears
And 2 a.m. overthinking
Apr 2021 · 3.0k
I Am The Knight
She Writes Apr 2021
I do not need to be saved
I am the knight in my fairy tale

If I fall
It will be off a mountain I scaled alone

If I crash
It will be in the waves of my own ocean

If I float
It will be on the boat I built with my hands

And when I fly
It will be with the wings I forged myself
Feb 2020 · 909
Grandpa
She Writes Feb 2020
I find you among the small things
And for that I am thankful
As the little things are all I have left

The warm tickle pressed upon my skin
From the heat of the sun
On a dewy spring morning

In the song of the birds
Not unlike those we used to watch
Flit across your yard

The scent of fresh cut grass
The same I smelled from you mowing
As I picked dandelion bouquets for Grandma

In the smiles of passing strangers
Because to you there is no such thing
Only friends you have yet to meet

I find you among the small things
And I will cherish them profoundly
Until we meet again
The one year anniversary of my great-grandfathers death was on Valentine's day. I think about him often, and wanted to write something in his honor. Nothing I write can truly convey the love I have for him, and the impact he had on my life.
Feb 2020 · 854
Devoid
She Writes Feb 2020
How can you complain about your life
Lonely and devoid of light
When you lay beneath a blanket of stars
Each and every night
Feb 2020 · 732
Love Is A Battlefield
She Writes Feb 2020
Nothing shocks quite like
The unexpected backhand of love
Slapped across the face

Heart sustaining blow after blow
Bearing scars that will never be forgotten
Wearing invisible wounds as a badge of honor

Pick myself up, withstanding more
If love is a battlefield
Then I've earned stripes
Feb 2020 · 685
Red Eyes
She Writes Feb 2020
on the rare occasion
that you chose to show me affection

it was two bodys together
two souls apart

I used to shower
immediately after ***

to wash away the filth
to scrub away the feeling

let my tears cascade
like the rain from the showerhead

watching my pain ridden bubbles
slowly disappear down the drain

when I emerge you ask me
why my eyes are so red

I tell you I got shampoo in my eyes
you laugh and say how stupid I must be

tell me, who is the stupid one?
me with red eyes? Or you not noticing i always cry after ***?
Really rough draft, but wanted to share anyways
Feb 2020 · 851
Believe
She Writes Feb 2020
If she chose to believe
In her own dream
Just this once
Perhaps it could come true
Feb 2020 · 1.1k
Scalding
She Writes Feb 2020
when my drugs begin to fail
and self-inflicted thoughts prevail

I run to the shower
where in peace I can cower

turn on the water, scalding hot
focus on  pain instead of thought

I used to burn myself, but I became more shrewd
water doesn't make a mark, no scars accrued

until I can breathe I will run the water
turning it up hotter and hotter

I emerge as if I am anew
and not a soul has a clue

because you cant see tears when they fall in the shower
and at least I managed to live for another hour
Feb 2020 · 966
Pretty Tattoos
She Writes Feb 2020
when they ask me why i choose
to cover my body in pretty tattoos

I tell them it is to canvas the scars
from others attempting to mar

to wear my afflictions as a badge of honor
reminding myself that I am stronger

to show the world pain can be beautiful
that I am here, and I am unmovable
Dec 2019 · 379
Bits and Pieces
She Writes Dec 2019
What do I do
with all these parts of you
that I've collected over the years?

Do you feel whole
with these missing fragments
of your mind, body, And soul?

What did you do
with all the pieces of me
when I decided to flee?

Do you carry bits of me
in the back of your mind?
Trapped yet able to constantly remind?

Did you place your memories
in a box on a shelf?
Gathering dust all by itself?

I hope you feel me
the way I feel you...
A constant presence in everything I do.
Dec 2019 · 919
Sad Songs
She Writes Dec 2019
Even the lonely caged bird
Sings a beautiful song at dawn
Dec 2019 · 366
Your Loss
She Writes Dec 2019
There are thousands of ways
I said I love you
And you never heard me say
A single one

There are thousands of ways
I could say I miss you
And you'll never hear me say
A single one
Jul 2019 · 762
Darkness
She Writes Jul 2019
I thrive in the darkness
I'm better off being heartless
Jun 2019 · 1.2k
Moods
She Writes Jun 2019
Your mood changes
Like the second hand on a clock
My hour hand keeps moving
But I just can't keep up
Jun 2019 · 610
I Write In Ink
She Writes Jun 2019
I pen my poetry in ink
Instead of lead
Because I tend to ovethink
Then begin to dread

Criticize my own writing
Before the critics get the chance
My anxiety fighting
Telling me to erase with every glance

My work isn't good enough
Erase write repeat
Poems are just not up to *****
I should accept my defeat

So now I use ink
There is no going back
Nothing to rethink
No need to self attack

My words freely flow
From pen to page
Allowing myself to heal and grow
Displaying my poems on main stage
Jun 2019 · 559
I Write In Ink
She Writes Jun 2019
I pen my poetry in ink
Instead of lead
Because I tend to ovethink
Then begin to dread

Criticize my own writing
Before the critics get the chance
My anxiety fighting
Telling me to erase with every glance

My work isn't good enough
Erase write repeat
Poems are just not up to *****
I should accept my defeat

So now I use ink
There is no going back
Nothing to rethink
No need to self attack

My words freely flow
From pen to page
Allowing myself to heal and grow
Displaying my poems on main stage
She Writes Apr 2019
I am a volcano disguised as a mountain.

I used to be active, erupting in a fit of rage without notice. Destroying those around me, even the ones I hold most dear.

I have slowly become dormant. I have painted a beautiful facade. I appear strong, steadfast, solid and safe.

The truth is I am still a volcano. I am hollow, unstable, ready to explode at any second.

My feelings, my magma, are churning and turning beneath my sturdy exterior. I am constantly under pressure. The gravity of the world presses against me. I am in a continuous battle with myself, trying not to explode. Trying not to destroy those around me.

Occasionally the pressure becomes too much, and my magma pours out of me. The people that have made their home around me are always shocked when I erupt.

I cry to them "what do you expect when you build your life on a volcano?" To my surprise a small few have chosen to rebuild, choosing to live on my volcano knowing full well I just may destroy everything they have built again.

One day I will become extinct, then I will truly be a strong, sturdy mountain, and a safe place to call home.
This is not a poem, but it felt poetic. This unedited, straight out of my journal. Raw and true. Someday I will turn it into art, but for now, it will remain a rant from an anxious over-thinker.
Apr 2019 · 809
Daydreaming
She Writes Apr 2019
When my daydreams take center stage
There is no greater way
For this tale of love to curtain
Than for us to linger hand in hand
For all our remaining days
Growing old on the porch swing
Watching our children's children play
Amongst the wildflowers
On a brilliant spring day
<3
Mar 2019 · 883
Deserving
She Writes Mar 2019
She deserves everything that she wants,
but she doesn’t want everything that she deserves.
How do I show her that she deserves to be happy too?
Mar 2019 · 841
Take Me Instead
She Writes Mar 2019
Death must fear me too much
To take me away
So instead he takes those I love
If only death knew
I am not afraid of him
I welcome him with open arms
I stand next to her casket screaming
TAKE ME INSTEAD
Mar 2019 · 636
Blade
She Writes Mar 2019
Your words cut deeper
Than the blade at my wrist
Feb 2019 · 529
Suicide
She Writes Feb 2019
there is no beauty in suicide
just a cold, clammy body
blood merging with tears
the loss of hope on display

the end of pain
becomes the reality of another

there is no beauty in suicide
just wet eyes and heavy hearts
another soul gone too soon
and a box in the dirt
I hate that suicide has become the norm in society, glorified through social media. Too many beautiful souls lost to mental health issues that have gone untreated. If you are struggling or think someone else is struggling, reach out. Save a life, maybe your own.
Jan 2019 · 547
Ash
She Writes Jan 2019
Ash
You lit me up, then put me out
Tried to pick up my broken pieces
Repair what you destroyed
Realizing too late, I’ve become ash
Never to be whole again
Jan 2019 · 504
Dying Heart
She Writes Jan 2019
I love the way you hold
All the pieces of my dying heart
Determined to heal me
From pain caused by those before you
Jan 2019 · 555
Powerful
She Writes Jan 2019
Such relief I felt
When I stopped holding my breath
Waiting until I was told I could speak

So free I felt
When I stopped holding my pen
Waiting until I was told what I could write

So powerful I feel
Knowing I can bring you to your knees
With only my tongue and my pen
Jan 2019 · 750
Rock Bottom
She Writes Jan 2019
I welcome the familiarity of rock bottom
I have laid my head here many of night
Looking up from the depths feels safe
I cannot fall further
When I have already hit the bottom
Here I am safe, here I am home
Jan 2019 · 601
Stars
She Writes Jan 2019
And even the sun is jealous
Of the stars in her eyes
Jan 2019 · 557
Gone
She Writes Jan 2019
I slipped away from you into the darkness
Before dawn could shine a light on reason
The cycle must be broken, but how?
Your sun was always brighter than my moon
Jan 2019 · 971
Remnants
She Writes Jan 2019
The remnants of your influence
Echo down the halls of my concience
Long after I slipped away into the night
Here you are still
Whispering that I am not good enough
I cannot make on on my own
Jan 2019 · 362
Counting Lies
She Writes Jan 2019
Most count sheep when trying to sleep
I count lies that have been told to me
Jan 2019 · 993
Walls
She Writes Jan 2019
Look into my soul
You’ll see walls a mile high
Unreachable and safe
Confined and alone
Dec 2018 · 627
Self Love
She Writes Dec 2018
And through the pain
I’ll find my voice
Turning this quiet violence
Into loud words

I am not my past
I am not my disorder
I am not my obsessions
I am not a victim

I am strong
I am smart
I am brave
I am free
Sometimes I need a little reminder.
Dec 2018 · 406
My Words
She Writes Dec 2018
You can take my breath
You can take my sanity

You can take my spirit
You can take my heart

You can take all that I am
But you’ll never take my words
Sometimes I feel like these words are all I have left
Dec 2018 · 413
Her.
She Writes Dec 2018
When you lie with her do you think of me?
When you lie with me do you think of her?

When you lie with me I think of her.
When you lie with me I think of her.
When you lie with me I think of her.
I feel like I am losing it.
Dec 2018 · 308
Elsewhere
She Writes Dec 2018
I left my heart in your care
With only a stare you ensnared
"Trust me" you dared

My deepest fears I shared
Nothing can compare
To the hurt I must bear

You finessed me with flair
I became aware
Of your secret love affair

You gave no thought to my welfare
Why is honesty so rare?
Now I am left in despair

Trapped in this nightmare
I hope to repair
Our relationship threadbare

Of this beware:
If you find love elsewhere
you will find me nowhere
Dec 2018 · 1.6k
Lonely Moments
She Writes Dec 2018
Loneliest  is the moment
When you have no one to run to
The one that eases the pain
Is the one causing the hurt
Where do I go now? To whom do I turn?
Back to the lips that lied?
Back to the finger tips that betrayed?
Dec 2018 · 511
Broken
She Writes Dec 2018
Every time a heart breaks
It grows a little harder
Nov 2018 · 1.4k
Sunrise
She Writes Nov 2018
I awoke to a sunrise so beautiful
Monet himself dare not
Attempt to capture its beauty
Nov 2018 · 1.5k
Antidepressant
She Writes Nov 2018
Your lips on my neck
And your hand between my thighs
Is better than any antidepressant
A dr could prescribe
Nov 2018 · 828
Stranger to Myself
She Writes Nov 2018
I am learning to love again
This stranger that is myself
Nov 2018 · 432
Strangers
She Writes Nov 2018
Love is a peculiar thing
It crept in and made its home
In the most unexpected place
A hello to a smile
A smile to a laugh
A laugh to a kiss
A kiss to a touch
Once strangers
Now life without you
Seems unfathomable
Nov 2018 · 647
Self Sabotage
She Writes Nov 2018
I’ve found my biggest enemy
Resides right between my ears
Poisoning my thoughts
Feeding on my insecurities
Killing my self worth
One negative thought at a time
Oct 2018 · 1.4k
Repeat
She Writes Oct 2018
It is not the future that I am afraid of
The prospect of repeating the past
Is what scares me the most
Oct 2018 · 411
White Lies
She Writes Oct 2018
Am I a fool to believe
The ease with which you lie
To those you hold most dear
Would not also pertain to me?
Oct 2018 · 2.8k
Failed Love
She Writes Oct 2018
Our love
Was destined to fail
Instead of seeing me
For all the things I was
You saw me
For all the things I was not
It took me a long time to realize I was good enough all along.
Oct 2018 · 541
Your Light/My Dark
She Writes Oct 2018
To you I will turn
Like a flower to the sun
Soaking up your light
Until my darkness is none
Oct 2018 · 5.2k
Raindrop Kisses
She Writes Oct 2018
I let my fingertips
Dance in the rain
Washing away my troubles
Bit by bit
As each drop
Kisses my hand
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