Sending the world into peaceful silence;
a fire burning for eternity;
a love lasting forever;
a darkness so calm and neverending.

Sending the vision of the past;
never letting you go;
never letting it show;
never getting a chance.

Wanting to say the magic words;
to make it okay;
to tell them to wait;
to let them be free.

I love you, my dear;
these five simple words;
never ever heard;
in the silence of the world.

Follow the path, that I’ve set out to claim.
So many things, that I could never dream.
Don’t leave me standing, out here in the rain;
Where it spirals down, in cracks and in seams.

Once upon a time, in a far far land;
I read a story, one of make believe.
Where dragons would soar, so noble and grand;
And knights on horses, wore hearts on their sleeve.

The princess would wait, and hope for the day;
Where her dearest, would take her heart and strum.
And when she is free, she would gladly say;
Praise my savior, O’ I knew he would come!

And as this adventure, comes to a close,
She will awaken, and sing out her throes

In the world of a girl, me,
there is always a story
waiting between the pages of life.

In every word, in every scene,
I catalog and dissect the meaning
of everyone and everything.
Like some sort of word scientist.

But life isn't always sunshine and rainbows,
sometimes it storms, and there is only grey.
I quite prefer the rain to the rainbow.

But I am not like everyone else,
who gossip about boys and sports
whilst putting on a pound of makeup in the morning.
I am...different.

And in this world, the difference is frowned upon.
So what if I dye my hair odd colors?
So what if I'm a girl with hair short like a boys?
That doesn't make me anything less.
I am more than they could ever imagine.

Just because I sit outside in the rain
or eat my lunch alone, headphones injecting lyrics into my skull
that only I can understand the meaning of
because my brain is my own, not anyone else.

And I don't care that I prefer the company of fake people on screens,
just so I can escape my miserable existence in the real world.
I don't care that I fight every single day just to make it through
and then realize I have to do it all again in the morning.

I don't care. Because I stopped caring a long time ago.
I stopped caring when my own brain decided to rob me
of everything I held dear and turned everyone against me.
I'm just a story in my own head, playing out like a badly written movie.
But that's okay.
Because I wouldn't mind it if I was just a story among millions.
That still means that somewhere,
someone is reading it.

A little bit of sugar
a tiny pinch of salt
A couple of spoonfuls of cinnamon.
I single chocolate drop
throw it in some flour
and add a cup of milk
That is how you bake something
I hope that it did help.

Now mix the ingredients, until they blend so well
and you'll have a mixture
that looks as delicious as it smells.
Then put it in the oven
set it to bake
take it out when the timer dings
and you'll have yourself a cake.

Desolate
synonymous to:
Barren
Wasteland
Empty

Forgotten
Synonymous to:
My life
My existence
My happiness

Joyful:
The Antonym to:
My brain
my love
my head

Loved,
Something that I do not feel
Something that I don't remember the warmth of
Something I will never have

Good things always come with a price
didn't they ever teach you that?
Nothing good lasts forever
fades away, like quicksilver

Silver to dust,
or is it dust to silver
the change always flows
but there's mud in the water

Clouding your thoughts
your judgment, your mind
Until silver is dust
and your sorrow is mine

When dust fades away
revealing a shiny surface
of silver in the midst
of all the darkness

Don't forget your promise to the stars.
Don't let all the misery, tear you apart.
Don't let your heart blow away in the wind.
Don't let my memory go out like a spark.

But if you do tonight.
I'll just close my eyes.
So I don't have to see,
when everything I love
Is set free.

Wanting to change
to rearrange
when instead of helping another
one stands above the other

fighting a battle, a war
not even knowing what for
but they do it anyway
don't care about yesterday

I don't partake
in society's mistake
that boys must act tough
and be equally as rough

A girl must wear designer clothes
spends hundreds of dollars, but nobody knows
wear pounds of make-up just to look pretty
and go around with a million boys, which is just petty

Society is evil and cruel
so I will use my anger as fuel
to rant about their mistake
and hope that my heart won't break

those who don't follow the trend
are forced to make their bodies bend
to fit into school and such
but they are burdened way too much

how does it feel society?
because some of us won't bow down quietly
I am calling out your mistake
to protect the ones who feel worthless, we won't break.

The human experience
is one that is a complex journey.
We must search for it.
Looking high and low,
near and far,
in the distant past,
in the ever-nearing future.
We never stop looking

In a mysterious new world
she wanders, confused.
Not yet understanding
all the fine print.

She speaks in a foreign tongue
but smiles brightly
as if nothing could ever
take her from the stars.

Dusting off the chains
that wrap around this heart.
Polish them until they shine
so golden in the dark.

chains so strong,
they can withstand time
and everything that
tries to break them.

Chains so bright,
it's all anyone ever sees
and they turn away
from the real treasure underneath.

If they fall with just one look
I'm sure it's the gold
that's got them hooked.
And you'll leave them in the dust.

But if they see past the fool,
to the darkness deep below.
And search until they find your heart
then they'll hold your soul.

And pray to God
that they truly care
for if they make it far
a single word would be enough
to tear you from the dark.

It's a bitter dance with fate.
He twirls me and I reply by stepping on his toes,
because I can't dance to such a foreign beat.
And fate is whisking me away,
moves unreliable and messy,
barely better at dancing than I am.

This can't last forever.
Eventually, we'll grow tired
of the confusion and unpredictable moves
each other will make.
And we'll break away to take our own steps,
off the dance floor and towards the buffet
where we gorge ourselves on the future
we choose for us.
The things we know will be what we want.
Fate cannot control us here,
He cannot lead us away on a mystical journey
going off into the misty evening.
At least, not until we open our eyes and realize:

We always come back to the dancefloor.
and Fate comes in many forms.

Your fingers curl around me
like tendrils of mist
of icy darkness
in this floating abyss

All around me is dark
no light to be seen
My skin as cold as ice
Your grasp a freezing touch

You cling onto me
Frozen to the touch
as I try to pry you off me
but your grip as strong as stone

I cannot escape your Icy grasp
which chills me to the bone
Thoughts of light and warmth are gone
only darkness is my home

So when I feel your Icy grip
dragging me farther down
I welcome your icy grasp in comfort
as you pull me down

My fingers are numb
from the cold
from the rain
pounding against the window

I press my forehead
against the cool
smooth surface
of the glass

I watch the rain drop
dripping, slipping
down the window pane
as I watch the time fly by

fascinated I stare
at the stormclouds overhead
as the thudner rolls in
and lightning lights the sky

But yet I smile
because it's been awhile
since my favorite weather
has come out to play

The sky is dark
almost as black as night
as I sit and watch
outside the window

Waiting for it to end
sad, but it can't last
I hear the thunder's silence
before the clouds clear away

I get up to go
where? I don't know
but my favorite weather has gone
And it will be back before long

I walk down these empty halls
gazing at the worn out walls
at the memories that I see
wondering what I was meant to be

Walking down this empty street
Averting my gaze from every stranger I meet
I cross the paths of dark and light
but soon the day is blotted out by night

The lights of stars illuminate my path
I kept walking, less I face their wrath
when memories are brought to the surface of my mind
I  wish desperately, pleading for them to rewind

back to a day where I could wander these roads
down worn-out paths that no one knows
but alas time has gone so fast
nothing gold, I guess, can last

As the noise increases
I feel the tension rising
I need an outlet,
I need saving

I feel like I'm drowning,
trapped in a box
with a vice grip against my chest
and I can't escape it at all

My chest is tightening by the second
I take a deep breath, just breathe
Nothing helps but music,
something I'm in dire need

I've never been to the doctor
so I don't know if these are 'attacks'
but that's what I've started to call them
because that's what it feels like to me

The surface of the water ripples
like little portals to another world
the stone sinks through
and then disappears

The water becomes still
the portals have closed
but maybe, just maybe
I can still get through

To go to another place
far away from here
where I have no one
and no one cares

Maybe if I got there
people with love me
I'll be happy
I'll be wanted

The ripples, a splash
is all that's left
swallowing the stone like mist
before everything disappears

With these silver threads, I spin
a lie so elegant and beautiful
no one can help but to just see it at face value.

With this loom of gold the stories told,
so untrue, yet so revealing.
yet they never blink or criticize
because they're seeing, but not hearing

This display of fear is nothing more
than an illusion, just an act.
And with every replay I say,
Take a bow, this fear's a fact.

And this circus of my insomnia
will not let anyone look away.
They'll be captivated and sleepless
by the time they close their eyes.
But again, they'll never wonder
if they're as tired as I'm.

Such a display of character
Must simply be rejoiced.
But they never wonder, or ever doubt
If I ever got a choice.

beautifully serene; waiting to be seen
through the eyes of those who wander
through the mystic night, it brings
about the change of turning paths

And crossing roads that may or may not cause the words to repeat,
spinning and dancing across oceans
of well-constructed thoughts that fall,
into the waiting ears of the world

But only in those who have seen
the nature of all, and the singularity of everything;
only then can you witness the truly awe-inspiring world that
was hidden behind the gaze of those unseeing and unbelieving

Staring at the horizon
the sunlight drifts away
like a breeze blowing a cloud
far, far away

As darkness comes out to play
like snow on a winter day
the tendrils of shadow beckon to me
with starlight in the sky; clear to see

I take a hesitant step ahead
not knowing where to go
the shadows drift around me
as my voice is lost in the echo

A haze sets in
an icy winds' grasp
tendrils of shadow and mist mix
creating a yin yang balance at last

The beauty of the night is strong
there are no words to describe it
for when I say these words to you
Only you can hope to imagine it

Sunday never came for me.
Straight from Saturday to Monday.
No church for me, no,
I'm forsaken by God.

The devil's on my shoulder
the days are growing colder.
the nights are getting longer
Yet Sunday never comes.

I pray for a different life
I hate living in constant strife
I don't want the life that has been chosen
But Sunday never comes.

I'm not a believer
I've never been one.
So maybe that's why,
Sunday will never come.

I watch the time fly
out of reach
from the hands of men
and wishes of children

I watch the time pass
as the sun sets
over time wasted
and love passed

I watched time not last
when you said
you'd love me forever
but now you are with her

I watch the time fly
as you pass by
hand in hand
with her

The wind whispers
through the night
casting darkness
blotting out light

The inky blackness
is soon devoid
of any light
nothing but the void

The sunlight approaches
creating elongated demons
Tendrils of shadow
weaving ink into your feelings

The door is only a step away
from leaving this awful place
But when you turn around to leave
This nightmare becomes a dream

I don't know what's going on
the pain in my chest grows.
I don't know why I feel this way
please, does anyone know?

I hate this way of living
the world dull, black, and gray.
But with this pain comes a feeling
that I've never known.

Save me please, oh save me
I'm drowning in the fear.
Of everybody leaving
is there anyone left to hear?

I want to just be saved
can anybody help me?
I cannot fight these feelings
I cannot let them go.

So can you whisper softly
tell me it's alright?
because when I look at this dull world
I can't find any light.

I've had enough stupid games,
enough of your ******* lullabies
to sing me to sleep
when you know I lay awake staring
at my ceiling wondering
whether or not I should say '**** it'
and throw my life away,
or to say 'oh well' and suffer through
another miserable ******* day
where I have to see your face and know
that behind that smile
is a mother who
cares more for her cigarettes
than her daughters.

So no-
I'm not lending you another cent for your satisfaction.
I'm not going to nod my head along to your half-baked opinions.
I'm not going to let you walk through my life,
ruining every precious thing I have left.

because the secondhand smoke has already destroyed my body,
your words have already destroyed my mind.
I won't let the shattered pieces be picked up and swallowed like the pills that you love shoving down your ashen throat.

In my life there are three things:
A feeling of emptiness,
a hollow laugh and blank face,
Hiding behind a mask

I wonder day by day
nothing changing
the world around me is unimportant.
In my life there are three things:

My own emotions elude me
they go about their days
hiding in the back of my brain
a feeling of emptiness

Upon my face there sits
a person I don't know
Because of all I ever am is
a hollow laugh and blank face

Day by day, night by night
nobody ever bothers to look
but I never bother to tell, I'm
hiding behind a mask

As I'm sitting in the back
memories of the past haunt me
I close my eyes against the pain
trying to block out the noise

The thoughts reverberte in silence
as I fight to hold back the tears
I'm just the girl sitting in the back
so nobody actually cares

I watch the world around me
content to just observe
I see the horrible reality
The truth begins to unfold

The way humans interact
is truly disgusting indeed
because they rely on looks and beauty
instead of what you need

I watch this all unfold
in the back of class
I wipe the tears from my face
silently, beginning to laugh

I may be insane
but I don't really care
I'm broken beyond repair
So nothing really matters

I'm just the girl in the back of the class
as everyone's laugh echoes
I sit in silence, Watching
listening, to the voices

These dimly lit corridors
are not a home to me
I walk down these tainted halls
With a broken heart, i try to flee

I walk down this cursed hall
where others don't reside
for fear of the pain they'll face
where monsters don't try to hide

How are you?
I have nothing left to give you.
You have taken each breath, memory, and tear I have to offer;
and you have destroyed it.

Dear Agony,
What do you want?
You have taken everything!
I am nothing now, all thanks to you.
So please, leave me alone for once in my life.
I don't want any more.
I don't want anything.

Dear Agony,
You aren't leaving, are you?
You're going to stay with me until my dying breath.
You are going to haunt me long after, too.
Fine. Okay. Do whatever you want,
I'm too numb to care now anyway.
Just another thing you've stolen from me.

Dear Agony,
Will you please end it all?
You are the only thing that has stayed by my side,
Granted, I didn't want you.
And I still don't want you.
But I'm stuck with you,
so could you help me, just this once?
Take away all that makes me, me.
I don't want to be me right now.

Dear Agony,
Why?
Why is it that the only things you've left me
are hate, anger, and self-loathing?
Why do I have to suffer because of you?
Why do I have to hurt those around me because-
I. Can't. Be. Rid. Of. YOU
YOU are the problem.
YOU. Not me...
Please...God, don't let the problem be me.

Dear Agony,
Are you happy now?

Testing patience is never-
ever a good idea
no matter how great you know a person
you don't really know them
until they snap

And when they snap
their true emotion-
not the fake answers they always give
are shown and feelings are hurt

But can you really blame them?
No, I think not- not when
you are the antagonizer
and this is their self-defense

Lying On the floor,
Unmoving, Lifeless, Numb.
PLease Awake from your slumber
Don't let them tell me you are gone

I'll beg and plead for you to stay
won't let them take you away
you'll wake up soon,
you aren't really gone

Why are you so cruel
You had to waste your life
when I saw you upon the floor
I knew you had taken your own life

So as you lay Lifeless,
as the people rush in
they take you away in a black bag
and I know that it's the end.

Tell me what to say
tell me what to do
because I can't really tell you
anything

Tell me what I'm supposed to fell
Becuase I can't feel anything
Tell me what is supposed
to happen

Like sand in an hourglass
all the time runs out
and my time is almost up
I feel

But don't you worry
because I will never
leave you alone
I'm haunting you

Demons
Dark creatures roam
To tear apart your love
And cause despair and chaos
Monsters

When everything you touch
is all gone, turned to dust
where are you supposed to hide
from the monsters deep inside

They chase you in your sleep
you see them instead of sheep
you sleep upon the ashes
of your burned out mind

When every building is just rubble
inside your little bubble
where are you supposed to go
when nothing's left of your home

When every chance you get
you pick out the mistake
but you don't see it
until it is too late

will you fall, or will you run
try to escape your mind
for within your head lying cold and dead
is the body you left behind

I never asked for much
It wasn't worth enough
It wasn't worth the rush I'd feel
upon getting what I always wanted.

I never wanted much
what I had was good enough
What I had would make do
it's better than asking you

I never wanted to say
that I was not okay
but when you look at me
you don't even see me

You're too focused on
the ****** show you put on
Just to make us look away
and never ask for anything

it's the ultimate form
of grade A distraction
a natural reaction to
everything we don't want to hear

And when I look at you
and the stupid **** you do
I want to scream at you to
stop, and take a look at life

You're throwing it all away,
and dragging us down with your sinking ship
You're burning it to the ground
the life I wished we could have lived.

So Mother, put the ashtray down
Listen to me when I tell you what I've found
I don't want to live on earth anymore
but you turn away without a glance
and walk out the door.

Did you ever hear my cry for help?
I've done it once before and you never helped.
I can't be bothered to trust you again
when you take a look at my life and don't care
that I want it to end.

Surely no one is meant to live like this?
Not meant to live in constant fear and pain,
waiting for the evening just for it to rain?

Surely it doesn't make that much sense,
to live in constant regret and sorrow,
unable to make it till tomorrow.

The days pass in a misty haze,
but you are still waiting for the sun.
The stars are vacant in the sky,
but you still wait for them to burn.

Why do you waste away in such a place?
Where your skin is unmarred,
but your heart bears all your scars?

Why must you stay here, broken,
like a porcelain doll that is so, so, fragile.
One touch could break you.

You beg for someone to look below the surface
of the ever-constant ocean in your mind.
But they only dip their feet in the water,
because it is much too cold to stick their head under.

Surely no one is meant to live like this?
Merely surviving until their death.
Never take more than a needed breath,
only an empty shell, uninhabited by any meaning.

Where has the love gone?
Am I unwanted?
Am I broken?
I've spent countless nights awake,
dying to live and living to die.

Where has the time gone?
Am I worthless?
Am I useless?
I lie in bed, wishing on stars
But unable to see them shine.

Where has my mind gone?
Am I insane?
Am I depressed?
I count the sheep
but they always run in circles.

Where has the happiness gone?
Am I afraid?
Am I angry?
I watch the moments pass
but I stay frozen in a place where I hate myself.

Where has the sun gone?
Am I alone?
Am I lonely?
A  crowd surrounds me,
But I'm alone in my world.

Am I broken?
Am I useless?
I'm a waste of space without a purpose.
There's nothing for me to save.
There's no one to save me.

Please, somebody help me
I'm losing my mind.
I'm drowning in the countless lies
I've told myself
it would be alright
but it's not.
I'm not.
Please.
Someone.
                                Save my Broken Mind.

A  failure,
He was made
with our failure to listen
and was released
by our faults

The stars fall to the ground
Under the dimming, black
Void
When nothing escapes and
X-rays of pure nothing exist,
Yet collect and ponder the deaths
Zooming; skyrocketing into an infinite loop of fear.
And then silence,
Broken on by the
Clap of thunder and rain
Drumming down into
Every corner of a fragmented skull,
Gaining power and
Holding brains hostage
In their own heads
Just as you realize
Killing doesn’t mean dead and
Love doesn’t mean happy.
Mothers and fathers antagonize while
Nameless nobodies lie awake,
Only closing their eyes when their
Parents cease their incessant
Questioning accusations.
Relying on a whim and
Stealing the stars from the sky.

Shatter me
slowly
I don't want
to believe

Shatter me
quickly
I don't want
to know

Shatter me
please
I can't handle
the pain

Shatter the
promises
that we made
together

Shatter the
answers
that turned into
lies

Shatter my
heart
into a million
pieces

Shatter my
glass soul
that broke when
you touched it

Life is a bittersweet journey.
No way to predict its outcome,
guided only by the cemented memories of the past.
Everyone leaves there mark on this world,
large, small, wherever it may be.

A warm hand, a soft touch,
the gentle caress of the breeze
as I run fingers through my hair.

Through fire, ice, storms, and grassy plains,
I will keep walking onward,
towards the horizon that calls to me.

The path is steep, there are twists, and turns
and unyielding walls that we must climb to our future
but the view at the top-
it must be beautiful.
It'll all be worth it once I finally reach the peak
of the mountain we call
Life.

I'll get there someday,
but for now,
A day at a time
is all we can achieve.

"Could you spare a moment?
I need to talk to you,
it's important."

"Not right now,
I'm busy.
Can we talk later?"

"Oh, okay."

And we never talk.