The river of time continues to flow,
and yet here I stand -- unmoving.

i don't like change. i'd rather stand in the ocean, sinking my feet into the sand, cold water mixing with mushy sand - it seeping into the warm flesh of my being. i will never move from here. familiarity is what home is to me

Sitting,
An article of stagnance,
With a heavily dusted window,
And a soul in heavy fragments.
Looking at you through the glass,
Wondering what has come to pass.
I’ve been here forever,
But nobody stays forever.
Now forever feels like home,
And I’ve turned up alone
After you vanished from my head
And filled my mind with lead.

Lying On the floor,
Unmoving, Lifeless, Numb.
PLease Awake from your slumber
Don't let them tell me you are gone

I'll beg and plead for you to stay
won't let them take you away
you'll wake up soon,
you aren't really gone

Why are you so cruel
You had to waste your life
when I saw you upon the floor
I knew you had taken your own life

So as you lay Lifeless,
as the people rush in
they take you away in a black bag
and I know that it's the end.

A life stuck at 7PM
The clock on the wall never moves
And the second hand never shifts –
Nothing to win, nothing to lose.

See the sky slowly growing dark.
The in-between time, before sleep,
Nothing is right or even wrong –
A place where I don’t want to be.

Perfect dusk with reluctant clouds;
The sun has gone to bed alone
While my head is clouded with doubts
I lie there – silent – on my own.

Waiting is the hardest part tonight:
In between breaths I wait for sleep,
Dreaming of all the things undone –
Losing pieces while losing me.

Silent rain creeps down my window
To whisper: “I will find you soon”
I turn, not wanting to feel,
Look away to implore the moon.

I search for answers in the dark,
But all I find is silence.
Seconds stretch to days behind me;
All that mattered was in past tense...

They press harder against my ears:
Screaming, screaming, screaming loud
They compete – all my secret fears
If I can’t breathe, I’ll surely drown.

There is no peace for me because
They refuse to keep their silence –
Whispers morph into demons, and
Demons are replaced with giants.

I surrender, the same refrain,
A question, always tireless:
Tell me what tomorrow will bring;
For mine endless night is timeless.

in order to make it home safely,
i need to reach the end of this hallway.

in order for me to move forward,
i need to reach the end of this hallway.

in order for me to become a better person,
i need to reach the end of this hallway.

in order for me to understand myself,
i need to reach the end of this hallway.

in order for me to do just about anything, really,
i need to reach the end of this hallway.

but i never do.
in fact, the most i've ever managed
is just a few steps
before i freeze in my tracks, unable to keep going.

it confused me at first,
but like anything else in life,
all i had to do was connect the dots
to realize why i always get stuck there.

if only you'd move.
if only you wouldn't take residence
at the end of this hallway,
staring at me quietly from the opposite side.
if only you'd turn around,
even if just for a moment,
so that i might dash forth before you look at me again,
as if it were a game of "red light, green light."

but you don't.

you never move.
you never turn around.
you simply observe me from afar,
waiting for the day where i'll be able to move
forward
on my own
even in your presence.

sorry to say, but
i'm not quite sure when
or if
that day will ever come.