If you saw
yourself
in my lines
then
yes,
that poem
was about
the
fictional
you
in the eyes of a
Writer

Your "No"
browsed through
my writing
flipping through
stories
and ended
at the beginning
of a new
"chapter 1"

Here's a call
for all those lost souls
trying to find their way
relax..no one does..

A call for those depressed
about about missed opportunities
that might have lead them
somewhere else
relax...regret nothing..

Here's a call for you
I know how you feel
unloved, in love with unreciprocated love
alone, lonely, isolated, drunk, voided,
relax... there's nothing wrong with you
because I too feel the same
.. you're not alone

Riveting riots
of ruckus
roll, stroll and crawl
away from
flooded, bloodied, red eyes
leaving a
pure, smooth, soothed
soul
with an open
window

There are moments
under the sun
where my heart
remembers warmth
and beats
a blush to
my cheeks

Today
the sun showed me
my value
I shone
like a precious
stone
standing
alone

I took a step back
a kiss back
a stare back
a laugh
back
dna
I
dnuof
flesym
a gniod
etelpmoc
elcric

Why not.
Not why.

Mashed up

               mash up

                             smashed up

                                             crushed up

                                                          got back up

                                                                       glued up

                                                                               suited up

                                                                                        straight up
A
              G
                              A
                                            I
                                                        N

I will not allow you
to replay your
past relationship
featuring me.

Throw that tape
Direct a new one

Scene 1
Take 1

(snap goes the clapped)
cutting all strings
with the past  

SILENCE

....Rolling ....

I fel(l)
in (.....)
t(o)o hard
I felt
hea(v)y
and my
heart
brok(e)

It's not
age that matters
look at (y)ou
y(o)(u)'re the
mos(t)
ageless being
t(h)at I
bumped
into

"Look at the moon"
he said
"Here have it, with the memory
of me"
she said

The tabs of my mind
miss your fingers
skimming through them
index first
middle next
till you find yourself
running till you
find
thoughts of
you

"I saw
somet(h)ing
in you th(a)t
g(l)owed
in h(o)liness"

Baby, break me more
there's nothing
that turns me on
than the sound
of the cracks
as they mark
my heart

Break me more
for my muses
yearn for broken
chaos to ignite
that burning passion
gliding and guiding
my hand on that
blank paper

Break me, my dear
for I have conjured
spells that translate
into novels and poems
that stir my soul
only when it's
broken

Break me
I have fallen
for
broken

When your
heart beats
in a series of code
that your mind
has yet to
decipher
praise your gods
darling
for you're
evolving

I shed my skin
with the
falling leaves
and saw myself
glow
in the dreary
weather of
Autumn

Your butterfly flutters
cut the inside of my
stomach
every time
I pass a blooming
flower of
your memory

Head first
stumbled on the pebbles
of doubt
as it cautiously
stepped on each one
testing the strength of its base
before moving to the next
because, "now we know better"

Eyes then
scanned the surrounding
as they slowly blended
what they see and what they saw
into one beautiful reality
because "time"

Touch after,
the skin since it passed over
the heaps of days, months
and years that aged gracefully
into the most intricate lines
that are shunned by many
but I praise
and call "wrinkles"

Smell later
the musky smell
of your current being
fermented with experience
rich taste and oh so "you"

Fall,  
away from the warning signs
since falling now
sounds like such a
good idea

My pen knows no shame
the paper doesn't judge

She's in between
what I want
what I hate
and what
I never
had

Woke up
cuddling a bottle
it was no longer subtle

My love for this potation
has become an addiction
and no longer a mental transition

Body shaking
asking for more
sobriety scared me
it might be a bore  

Woke up
cuddling a bottle
.... no more
"at least I'll remember
this one" she says

She spoke of dreams
and chasing shooting stars
under galactic blankets
that covered them warm...

He kissed her quiet
"Shhh darlin'
you're doing it again..
you're reading my
thoughts"

The music of you
is too strong
that's why my poetry
is silent

I fell
for my
own
assumptions
of you

Shrug it off darling,
all birds
need to fly
some know
their way back
others
find new ones..

Shrug it off..
some birds might
stay and dance
with every
shrug..

It knocked on my door
the cracked door the guarded
the core of what I call home

I have glued it so many times
sometimes with cheap adhesive
others, I thought I'd be artsy
and used gold
maybe something broken can be beautiful
or so I thought

It was cold outside
do you think that's why it knocked?
It wanted some sanctuary some ****** heat?

It knocked with all its might
I was alone inside, enjoying my aloneness
with glue, sticking together the remains
of time

"Go away"
I screamed, I knew who it was
the door was shaking with every pound
the core of this chamber was vibrating
rippling fear, well it's not fear per say
but something I've felt before
something familiar

"I don't want you here"
I yelled it the same way
I'd say it to a returning lover
******* and your doings

The wind blew and blew
and the pounding escalated
so did my screams

I can foretell what it wants
from the pounding
I can feel it again  
just like how a song can ignite
feelings from the past
just like a cologne can time travel you
to that moment, on that street
I know what it wants

Suddenly the pounding stopped
so did the nostalgia trip
I came back to reality
with a glue stick in my hand
and a shard of glass in the other
"caution fragile pieces can cause bleeding"

My mind was not completely at peace
curiosity kicked in, OH LORD IT DID
I jolted to the door
and peeked from the peep hole
there it was, in a raincoat
standing there, looking back at me

Frantic, I felt my knees weaken
the mind sparked some logic
but the heart, that stupid heart
embraced everything else

"Let me in
I miss my home, I miss the warmth
I can see that you glued the door
the one I jolted from
the one I cracked and broke"

I was scared, it was fear this time
mixed with bits and pieces of adrenaline
"I know this feeling, I know it"
I recounted in my head, making sure
it was engraved in my thoughts

"but if I do, it's different now
this house is no longer a home
it's cushioned with protection
glued with experience
decorated with time
and fortified by mental rationale"

It knocked again
like an angry lover
aching to touch his woman again
like an insane human
coming off of his prozac

"It's time, you're rotting
from the inside, I know your beauty is eternal
but it's time you let me in"

Tears ran down my cheeks
I do miss the feeling
of sweaty palms, of butterflies
that feeling of fading into one
of smiling, of pausing time

But I do know that if I open that door
I will be the
person
to throw him out again
breaking
my cracked door
starting from scratch

What do you think?
Should I let him in
this
time
around?

or shall I wait
for the person
who comes jolting through
burning my door with passion
surprising
my core?

I let my guard down
and showed him my skin
full of freckles
I let him connect the dots
creating constellations
each with a story
that he narrated

I let my guard down
and showed him my flaws
galactic bruises
thanks to my clumsiness
and let him float in each one
marveling at the purple and blue

I let my guard down
and showed him my bashfulness
as it colored my pale cheeks red
and imprinted goosebumps
everywhere...

I let my guard down
and showed him the ways
I like to sin..
having my fuzz stand in salutation

I let my guard down
and showed him the other side of me
the one basks in the nature of things
naked, bursting with energy of the sun
emitting sultry rays that
brighten his eyes in astonishment

I let my guard down
and showed him
myself
full fledged
imperfection
put together in a beautiful way

I let my guard down
and showed him how my piercing eyes
move waves of emotions
in his gut

I let my guard down
and waited to see
how he will
enjoy such
a mystery
feeding
my kind of
curiosity

It goes beyond
the voices in your head
to tap
into the
beats of your heart
reshuffling
your
plan

Your kiss
shunned
all the rest
to shame
made all the lips
tasteless
and  
turned tongues
cold

A blind man
can s e.e
how
I
feel

I have never
heard my thoughts
sing so loudly as
they did when
they went dancing with yours
in complete and
utter silence
the moment
your eyes
landed on mine

I breathe
I see
I feel
I yawn
I am alive

I shake
I stress
I moan
I grunt
I am here

I believe
I cry
I touch
I react
I am fine

I caress
I claw
I spank
I bite
I shake
I am ecstatic

I rest
I dance
I walk
I strut
I even run
I am healthy

I drink
I smoke
I talk
I hug
I like
I love
I am still here

I speed
I lash out
I headbang
I folk dance
I hold your hand

I fall
I stand
I tip toe
I walk in circles
I slide

I glance
I enjoy
I fight
I sit back
I sacrifice
I befriend
I help
I think

I write
I sing
I narrate
I block
I break
I create

I am blessed

I was seduced
by that plump apple
a symbol of poison or temptation?
but who says seduction has a
negative connotation?

I was standing there
eye-ing it across the smoke filled space
red and full
a true vision of beauty

It was very inviting
in a way that was deathly silent
Yet I bit my nails
in anticipation
of taking one step closer

what if it's deceiving?
what if it's just called sinning?

My heart pushed me forward
I felt it within my ribs
My mind pulled back
it always worries

what's a human to do?
stuck in the middle
between these two?

Knowing the nature
of curious humanity
I took a step forward
and took a bite

It filled my mouth
with sweetness
one that imprinted its taste
in my memory
for years
to come

Did I sin?

Why does my mind
race
without running shoes
to exhaust the
thought of
over-thinking?

I have always worn
my heart on my sleeve
and now,
summer
is around the corner
sleeves are no longer worn
and my heart.. well
it's torn...
between where to be shown
or should I play
a game and leave it
in the unknown?

Rock me gently
to the memories
of yester-past
as they leave your mouth
with nostalgic melodies
that tuned my days
with smiles

Run your hand through my hair
and untangle all sense of doubt
it won't be easy, my hair is curly
knotted and messy
and your fingers will have to smooth
them, to make their way to the end

Slide your hand up my spine
and enjoy the ups and downs
of every vertebrae, leading all the way
to my shoulders, broad and standing tall
they had to be, always.. for you
but sometimes, they did sway

Silhouette my curve
and familiarize yourself
with my body, the one that screams
"woman", and not "just for fun"

Cup my face
with hands whose past
vandalized your image
with graffitis of hate
and feel as my cheeks
burst with heat, the kind
that warms the coldest of moments

Lock your eyes on mine
and drown in the well of feelings
I have held for so long
I have circled it with beautiful blue hue
just to cover, what's been there

Slowly slide your fingers
down my neck, where my nerves
would melt for your lips
they would shut down their impulses
and bask under the soft feeling of your kiss

Rest your hand on my chest
and tame my heart that's gone wild
unsure of reality, it just reverted to insanity
my ribcage can only hold so much
my heart remembers, my heart feels
rest your hand on my chest
and feel the cracking noises of a once broken heart
glued together for someone special
maybe with potential, but this heart
was always careful
and beat for no one the way it once did


Make your way to my belly
who was starving for attention
days and nights alcohol infused
hoping you'd tell me I look pretty

Embrace my waist
pull me closer,
a big bang is in the making
I feel the energy burning
the stars are shooting
everyone's wishes are coming true
the world is anew
there's unexplainable energy
in your finger tips
on my skin
in our eyes
I feel it
going in circles,
orbiting ....

"I love you"
it slipped, you said

Open your eyes
look at the skies
a new universe
has been created

Here's to the poems that never made it
I will forever smile in your memory
clandestine