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Wolf 5d
Plunging into
Old habits
Again
Why

Why am I here
Repeating
This once
More

I will never
Escape my
Own heart
Now

I was sober
So tired of
The word
Love

Now I am drunk
Still too young
Falling
Down
writingsolo Feb 8
biting nails is bad
it's like
chain smoking with mary
or
poppin' em with valorie
just cause
it takes the edge off of the anxiety.
Aytree Feb 8
I’ve been so busy these past few years struggling to hold my sealing up.
Trying prevent it all form fall apart.
But in the end it’s to much.
so you just let go and let it all….  fall.
It’ll break your heart
But then you’ll realize that it’s a whole new world out there.
you just been using power,
on something that only made you weaker
Dean Jan 29
i miss you
i miss you like i miss getting high in my backyard at dusk
and it’s not the smoke that hurts my eyes.
i miss you like i miss the slide of alcohol down my throat when i give up calling you.
and it’s not the alcohol that burns.
but i don’t have to miss those anymore.
the only thing i’m missing now is
you
this is kinda dark and some of my work will start getting more so. this is just a heads up, things are really rough right now and i take break ups pretty hard. feel free to take this literally or metaphorically i don’t mind
Absent Minded Jan 19
Sobriety has never been your friend.
Friends for you may have come, gone, and returned,
But "Sobriety" isn't a word you even recognize.
You might as well be staring into
A swirling whirlpool of
Lies,
Misspelled words,
Languages you never bothered to learn,
And unspoken truths
Whenever you take a look at the word
Trying to find your unknown meaning.
Maybe you're just not meant to be clean.
And that's okay.
You're just like
She was
Before the end.
bad habits
the normalization of disfiguring one’s self
a daily roadblock.
a bountiful collection of poor decisions
that i’ve lined up upon my wrist.
a bile curdling hatred of my fading wounds,
they are the only ones that stay.
bad habits
they are the only ones that stay
Kyle Kulseth Jan 10
Cold nights
               It's always Winter here.
It seems this season's stretching on all year.
               The beers are gone
               so let's get walking.
                           Grab
    your coat and let's do some talking.
Loud, through the night.
Know our strides will crunch through old snow
beneath old street signs.

                                              Best
                                         bets aside,
                                    did you gamble
                                       on my days?
                               Did I waste your time?

Days come early,
nailguns out.
Walls go up and ambitions drown.
4 blocks down the street, you're screaming,
"**** the cold and this town. I'm leaving."
                     Sheetrock walls
               and paycheck borders
                     keep us pinned,
                in line, on short order.
                              Cook
                    our melting brains.
                        Froze in place
and broke your heart, rinsed me down the drain.

Cold nights
               It's always Winter here.
This frigid season's stretching on all year.
               The beers are gone
               so let's get walking.
                           Grab
    your coat 'cuz them ghosts been talking.
Howling each day.
Haunting all our snowbound steps and
rattling their chains.


                                          Alarms and cars
                                        and pulsing hearts.
                                               Cheapest
                                        prices paid to make
                                                our wage.

                                         The clocks in bars
                                       count tarnished stars.
                                                 Cheapest
                                         prices paid to pave
                                                 our ways.


                                              Best
                                         bets aside,
                                    did you gamble
                                       on my days?
                               Did I waste your time?


Days come early,
nailguns out.
Walls go up and ambitions drown.
2 blocks down the Ave., I'm shouting,
"**** the wind and the snow that's pounding."
                     Rent check walls
               and sheetrock borders
                     keep us pinned,
                in line, on short order.
                              Cook
                    our melting brains.
                        Froze in place
and broke my will, rinsed you down the drain.

                                            And I'll move
                                                4 blocks
                                              next Spring...
unnamed Jan 9
smoke to remember
                                  drink to forget
                        anxiety
late night stress
                            no cigarettes
unnamed Dec 2018
I wake day after day with the same lingering dismay of what my life has become & of what is supposedly my fate

synthetic happiness works no longer
& I find the craving for death inside me growing stronger
old habits come again disguised as friends that like me better in cardigans that never let my scars show
this might all go away, maybe after one more blow?
songs and trees and mysteries are not enough to keep me intrigued and the bridge I walk by everyday is so appealing to take a leap and end it once & for all
The idea of living much longer makes my skin crawl
& so I am restless and I get into brawls & succumb to my sadness as it became my downfall
I can never quench it for I don’t have the gall as I hit my head against the wall

Artificial honey used to do the trick you see
a simple lick made me forget my misery
even though it sometimes made me jittery
it was also my only escape
It is my high and it leads me to my low but who cares! The tears always flow
wether I’m joyful or filled with woe
this illness sits on my shoulder like a crow
& I have to accept that I am shackled and it truly has me baffled that I can only set myself free by slitting my wrists or drowning in a sea.
Written in delirium under the effect of sleeping pills
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