ENR Jan 10

I’m addicted to suffering
The hormones that flood my systems
Pushing until it’s too late
Until I’ve failed again

I’m addicted to the rise
And once I reach the top
I have to fall to feel that glory
I have to fall to feel
I have to fall

Floating along
Trying to smile while it doesn’t falter
Drooping at the corners, where the temptation is too strong
And the hopelessness is too heavy
False laughs make friends leave
Isolated by my own heartlessness,
A dull beat pumping,
dragging me through the day
Wind lifting my spirit momentarily
before I spiral back
into the inevitable tug of my habits

imperfectwords Dec 2017

Over the crack in the pavement I walk, four more steps, again.

Carefully scanning every familiar environment for threats; they are all around me.

Devils inside whisper gruesome thoughts that poison my mind and fray my nerves.  

Insecurities plague my body, demanding to be acknowledged and obeyed.

Scratches appear on my arms; deep trenches from last night’s terrors.  

Maybe I forgot to vacuum… or check for locked doors…  

Yelling erupts inside my head, I need to go back to reassure these persistent voices.

Moving towards the wall, I give four taps; this will silence them for now.

Overwhelmed again, this time my mouth starts to count aloud: one, two, three, four; an endless loop.

Needless washing all day- dry, aching hands scrub again and again, then reach for more soap.  

Sacrifices are made faithfully, I lose more of my passions and friends as this hellish nightmare continues.  

Time flies as I organize… three hours to make the bed and straighten the lines on my uneven comforter.  

Every routine is completed to agonizing perfection; all are followed until the next day when I  

Repeat.

Dave Parker Aug 2017

You only laugh when I occasionally belch
You ignore my sweaty feet going squelch
You giggle discreetly when I sometimes fart
You've yet to see me when I eat a tart!

I don't yet scratch my nuts at dinner
And itching my arse is always a winner
You hug me when I haven't shaved
And squeezing my zits is really brave.

You listen to rhymes about my poo
And a snotty nose is nothing to you
So now you know my armpits spell
And there's mould between my toes as well

But this is why I love to share
All those bits of pubic  hair
I love you because you make me laugh
And yes I'll have my monthly bath.

Michael Dec 2017

My creativity intertwined
With my depression
All the way it goes
to the very bottom

And there they sit
at the bottom of the world
twisted like lovers
As I sit looking on
With death by my side

More beauty
The world never held
To my eyes
Than from a well worn spot
With an old friend
At the bottom of the world.

Kaitlyn Nov 2017

A rush of blood to the head
The excitement of dread
Why
Do we yearn for the reasons we bled?

To be free from reality
You can't see your mortality
It's obvious
Why the devil loves hospitality

Nobody watches him slide through the door
You give him everything yet he somehow wants more
Let him tear up the carpet
The curtains
The floor

That was the last time

Every time
You swore

k.d.

kaitlyn joy Nov 2017

A rush of blood to the head
The excitement of dread
Why
Do we yearn for the reasons we bled?
To escape from reality
Question mortality
Don't flatter yourself
When vices love your hospitality
Desperate eyes watch you invite them through the door
Because of reasons you choose to ignore
Let them tear up the carpet
The curtains
The floor

That was the last time

Every time
You swore

I'm back bitches
liv Nov 2017

i cannot quite explain the fears inside my head
but they express themselves
in the broken skinned lips i have
and the gnawing on dead skin
they express themselves
in the chewed on fingernails
they express themselves
from the sores from picking at hangnails and scabs
and they express themselves
from popping my joints as much as they will allow
do i look as anxious as i feel
half of this shit i don't even realize i'm doing

this poem is unfinished but i didn't know how to finish it so yeah
Larry Dixon Nov 2017

I’ve realized I’ve set something in motion.
But I don’t want it to stop regardless of the commotion.

I face the fact that I need to quite smoking.
Because I’m sick and tired of choking.

I really need a light to help me through this.
Because alone I cannot navigate this mist.

A tender soul to make me right.
Even if I tend to fight.

This nasty odor I create.
And all I see is that other hate.

So someone please answer my biggest wish.
Help me with this habit I must abolish.

Sydney Sudano Nov 2017

You have left me scarred,
when you repeatedly crushed me with your words.
Caring is important, yet you don't bear me a single glance.
Never being cared for, it messes you up,
consequences of never being cared for leaves you cold,
these things get in the way of life.
They block the light out of your life.
Open yourself up, I dare you, I believe you'll be surprised.
The people around you will change you for better or for worse,
don't build a wall, old habits are not easily broken,
but don't take a step away.
Come toward the light and do not stray, don't close your eyes,
I'm right here.
When you do open your eyes, I'll still be right here, you won't have to lose anyone else.
Just don't push us away.  We won't leave you alone.
I believe in you.

Don't build walls that your not willing to take down
Samm Marie Moore Nov 2017

You kind of have this weird hate-love relationship with life and humanity.
Why don’t you just choose love?
Choose kindness.
Choose optimism.
Choose to do the work now.
Choose to jump in head first.
Choose to “Braveheart it”.
Choose to be prepared.
Choose to smile.
Choose happy.
It’s so crazy how just making a choice can change your life.
It is just as easy to be kind and happy as it is to be a total asshole filled with regret.
One could argue that it’s actually easier.
So make the choice.
Make the choice to change.
Make the choice to believe in the 21/90 rule!
Make the choice to be habitually content with yourself.
You are just as important as the people you take care of.
You are just as important!
Let that sink in.
You are important.
Everything will be okay in the end.
If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.
Remember that.
So let’s make that leap together:
let’s choose happy;
let’s choose self-love

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