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10.4k · Apr 2018
Weight Obsessed Society
Ana S Apr 2018
Today in an overweight society,
The type of society that deals anxiety,
Anxiety, anxiety, in this overweight society.

Today in an overweight society,
The type of society where diet pills are a normality,
Normality, Normality in an overweight society.

Today in the eyes of an underweight tragedy,
Influenced so greatly by an overweight society,
Tragedy, Tragedy, in an overweight society.

Influenced by a society of fatty foods,
Fear becoming a more common mood,
The fear of falling into the normality
The normality of this tragedy.
The overweight society.

Influence by obesity.
Striving to be what their minds see,
The minds of the children trapped,
Trapped by this overweight society.

Influenced by the skinny girls on TV
Only followed by ads showing fatty foods society demans you eat
Have a cheeseburger, upgrade to a large fry, yet still look like her, it's pounded in her mind.

Young minds believe what they see.
Morphed into the tragedy of society.
A society where eating disorders strive
A society where an 8 year old can consious you starve themselve to feel pretty.
The definition of pretty based simply on TV
Yet nobody questions this more than imperfect society.

Elementary ages childern being fed fat then forced to stand in front of a mirror.
Put a toy in poison and call it magic.
Oh yes, what a fantasy.
A fantasy forcing you into reality.

The reality becoming your worst nightmare.
The reality of your fears driven by society.
I'm overweight, yet pizza is the best choice for a happy family.

A society where mental illness strives.
Why can't people open their eyes?
Spoon feeding childern poison and expecting them to love themselves.

In school teachers force health into thier minds.
At home, parents feed them poison to save time.
Re-creating, reprogramming their fragile little minds, yet still expecting them to feel fine.

Feeling down?
Have a happy meal, gain a pound.
Overweight?
Shame, shame, you must maintain the image.
The image forced into your mind.
           This was our greatest fall.
           Upon dieting we call.
           Skelington stave me.
Anorexia at it's finest.
Anorexia thin and spineless.
Some call you timeless.
But only recently you made your debute.
Make me feel brand new.
Reprogram my mind.
Make me feel fine.
Thank God for thinsperation.
Oh Anorexia, my new inspiration.
Make me feel pretty.
Just like the skinny girls on TV.
Loosing pounds, one by one.
Still weighed down by a ton.
The weight of pleasing it.
The nightmare society created.
Influenced by what we see.
Finally morphed into the tragedy of the normality of this weight obsessed society.
Anorexia will never win.
10.0k · May 2016
Panda in me backpack
Ana S May 2016
There's a panda in my backpack
A panda in my backpack.
Yes there is a panda in my backpack.
A very interesting panda.
Very interesting panda.
There's a panda in my backpack...
Pandas
6.1k · Jan 2016
Classroom or house
Ana S Jan 2016
The classroom is cold.
Dead and old.
The classroom is silent.
Dead and quiet.
The classroom is empty.
Dead and alone.
Yet this classroom is so similar to my home.
Old... Quiet... And empty...
Yes the definition of dead.
4.8k · May 2016
Dogs And monster
Ana S May 2016
Dog in a bush.
Dog lights a smoke.
Dog has long scraggly hair.
Dog sleeping on streets.
Dog scratching her face.
Dog picks at her skin.
Dog lights up again.
Dogs hair is in tangles and messy.
Dogs skin is ashy and broken out.
Dog cries at nights.
Dog wonders how to get her hands on the monster.
Dogs skin is becoming more flawed with every run up with the monster.
Dog hears wispers at night.
Dog still wanders ally ways.
Dog lets people do stuff with her in order to get in contact with the monster.
Sometimes the monster is laced with one of its friends.
The dog never really does pure stuff anymore.
Dog told herself she would never get addicted.
Dog is addicted to the monster.
Crank
Monster
Crystal ****.
Oh yes!
Dog does ****!
And dog loves her ****.
Dog signed a contract with the monster the very first time it enter her system.
Dog has a life long relationship with ****.
Dog ****** up.
Now her life is uncontrollable.
Dog isn't stupid.
The monster controlled her.
Dog was smart loving and sweet.
Monster was controlling addicting and very very
Very
Very
Veryyyyyyy
Persuasive.
Dog holds hands with the monster now.
About a girl who had a run up with the monster
3.9k · Jan 2016
Little lesbian
Ana S Jan 2016
I had a secret... I keep it in... Mommy I... I think I'm lesbian. Thoughts rushed through her head. Gosh I wanted to be dead. Did you hear me mommy? Was she going to leave me. What was running through her mind. The silence lasting a long time. Finally she spoke, baby I think you need to go. Pack your bags and leave. But mom... No I can't have your perverted lifestyle influencing my normal children. Tears streaked my checks. I had tried so hard. Mommy accept me! Mommy love me!!! Remember when I was your baby? Back when people heard me? Goodbye mommy.
A secret... Not my real coming out story.
3.5k · Apr 2016
my brother robbed me
Ana S Apr 2016
At the beginning of the week I had money in my drawer.
No there is no more.
Stupid young man.
Can't control his hands.
Needed to search my room.
Looked for the green bills.
******* now I'm broke.
This is very sad.
My brother robbed me.
Just for fun
3.2k · Jan 2017
Til death do us part
Ana S Jan 2017
Here she stands smiling.
Grinning she stares.
A girl without a care.
Always lost in her mind.
Always careful not to waste time.
Still I wonder why did she choose me?
She could easily be with anybody.
For some reason we were pushed together.
A special day in smiths, all the way up till now.
The morning I can wake up next to her are the best.
I won't even begin to mention the rest.
My mind wanders as she lets me think.
I'm just taken away by all the memories.
Memories of the past.
Memories yet to be had.
I'll share them all with her.
She is my world.
I love her to death.
Til death do us part...
That's the words right?
Yes, til death do us part...
2.6k · Jun 2016
The Orlando shooting
Ana S Jun 2016
So much sitting on my tongue.
So much impossible to believe.
Man targets gay club...
50 dead, 56 injured.
Blood donations, no gay blood.
Spouses can't even help one another.
Wanna know what I say?
**** the quote "freedom"
If this country were truly free gays could go to clubs without the fear of getting shot down.
People could donate blood and not have to be a certain sexuality.
Freedom doesn't excist in this country if you are gay.
Pray for freedom.
Pray for the victims
Never stop fighting for your rights.
A little rant on freedom
2.4k · Jul 2019
He is
Ana S Jul 2019
He is
And isn’t.
He will be.
And can’t be.
He is the fire in my heart.
And the ocean in my eyes.
The laughter in my pain.
And the pain in my laughter.
He is,
And isn’t.
He is there.
But never constant.
He is.
And isn’t.
He can.
And can’t be.
I’m his,
Yet he isn’t mine.
I love him...
and he is.
And he isn’t.
Love me daddy,
I don’t crave the pain anymore.
I crave his love.
No longer to satisfy.
To be loved will cure my cries.
He is the ocean in my eyes.
The tears behind my dark lies.
Simply just a friend.
A casual *** partner.
Love me,
Why don’t you.
And I’m not good.
No good for you.
I’ll let you do whatever you want to.
Punish me daddy.
Make me bleed.
Make me feel.
Anything,
Other than this cold numb,
Love me.
Make me feel.
Love again.
Love me
2.2k · Apr 2016
Being "lesbo"
Ana S Apr 2016
I was born a sin.
I was born a lesbian.
For all you who think I chose to be this way.
You made a horrible mistake.
You think I would chose to be hated for my ****** orientation?
Do you think I would chose to get taunted and threatened more than once a week?
Do you think I love the way people stare at me when I so much as wear a button that says tolerance?
Do you think I like getting called a ***** and a sin?
Getting told I'm an abomination to the lord?
Do you think I like reading articals about gay bashing a and hearing from my gay uncle about his expirence growing up gay in nv?
He told me once when I first came out that I don't know if I'm lesbian, and if I ever think there is a possibility of being straight that I'd better go take that chance.
He knew what I would go through and wanted to protect me.
I got taunted and teased at school.
Stupid boys didn't leave me alone.
I relied on violence to protect myself.
Finally I began to get angry.
I wasn't okay anymore.
I spend more than half of middle school is residential treatment centers fighting depression and bipolar disorder.
I got to watch my girlfriend/ best friend turn into nothing due to drugs.
So you still think I chose to be this way?
Well *******!
I didn't get a choice.
It's not like I woke up and thought hey today I think I'll go be lesbian.
Go find a girlfriend and just do it despise all the homophobes out there because I like being difficult.
Just a short little thing.
2.2k · May 2016
Social anxiety
Ana S May 2016
Social anxiety is when you wake up and fake being sick so as not to have to go to school.  
Social anxiety is when you wake up in the middle of the night because you had a nightmare about a person talking to you.
Social anxiety is not being able to approach the girl who has been one of the most important girls in your life for the last year.
Social anxiety is not talking to people because you don't want to irritate them.
Social anxiety is leaving to class ten minutes early because you can't be around people anymore.
Anxiety is always dodging humans because you are scared if they see you they will laugh.
Social anxiety is terrible.
Social anxiety is
Real
It's
Not
Just
An
Excuse
I
Use
To
Avoid
You.
I'm
Sorry
If
I
Have
Ever
Hurt
You
By
Avoiding
You.
Social anxiety
2.2k · May 2016
Ostrich flying
Ana S May 2016
Me talking to humans is like an ostrich flying.
I talked to Rianna about this yesterday.
she told me I was an odd human.
I told her indeed very strange.
Stranger than most.
Then we talked. Very interesting conversation adopt the female kind and ostriches and flying.
All relating back to humans.
The only human I can talk to in person easily is Emily. I just have trouble approaching  her.
****...
That's really bad.
I can talk to someone but can't go up to them.
I can approach some girls but can't talk to them without stuttering.
Rianna approached me one day and randomly asked what's good?
I just stared blankly.
Felt like an idiot.
I can't talk!!!!!
Talking is not a talent that comes easy to me.
That's okay though.
I can observe.
It's okay.
I'm sure humans love me the way i am.
Even if I'm silence.
That's okay.
I'm okay.
For once in a long time I'm okay.
Don't know if it was the girl yesterday or a rush of mania.
Yes it could be mania.
Mania pushing me high.
This is where I'm dangerous.
I get mean when mania takes over me.
I change when mania holds me close.
Mania makes me social and unafraid because I have it to fear.
The effects it will have on me.
Mania strangles the depression then goes for me.
Mania is not good.
A conversation with a girl leading to mania (Note to Em: rianna is not the girl. I only talk to her sometimes.)
1.9k · Jan 2017
Pain demands to be felt
Ana S Jan 2017
"That's the thing about pain... It demands to be felt."
-John Greene

Pain is inevitable.
Just like death you can't avoid it.
There is pain in sorrow.
There is pain in beauty.
There is pain in everything.
Even if it is the happiest moment it could still hurt.
You search and search for a painless event but you'll never find it.
The definition of inevitable is unavoidable.
There is no getting around it.
It will come into your life.
No matter how hard you try to block it out.
Pain is always there.
No matter what.
1.8k · Jul 2016
Cold breeze
Ana S Jul 2016
The breeze runs over me.
Almost setting me free.
Free from the ups and downs.
Moods high only to hit the ground.
The constant change.
My mind always being rearranged.
Walking down the halls rwmaining close to walls.
Wanting to escape the crowded.
I feel safe when no one is around.
Feel stable on the ground.
I don't wisper under my breath.
Don't let the anxiety control my movements.
I pretend to listen to music even when my phones dead.
It's only because I don't want to talk to people.
Actually deep down I want someone.
Someone who will stick around.
Not just push me down.
Not make me feel worthless.
Not make me emotionless.
Thad why I like the breeze.
I finally feel free.
A short poem about feelings
1.8k · May 2016
Nights
Ana S May 2016
I haven't been sleeping.
Every night at 3 I wake up.
For a week now.
This is bad.
This is mania.
Mania is coming.
I need to get sick.
Need to get away from people I can hurt.
Mania makes me sick.
Mania is worse than depression.
Mania gives me the feeling of flying.
The feeling of greatness.
I don't want to hurt Emily.
I can't hurt Emily in manias grip.
Please don't let me hurt you.
I beg.
I will try to push everyone away.
Mania makes me social.
As soon as mania begins to leave my body depression takes over unless I get lucky.
If I'm lucky I'll be normal.
Neither will take charge of my body and I will have control for a bit.
Rianna says be yourself.
How can I be myself when I'm controlled by two little things.
I'm not mania.
I'm not depression.
They latch onto me and control my every move.
I can't be myself in their present.
I'm going to be social.
Then it will change and I will have extreme anxiety.
This is bipolar.
Bipolar.
Mania.
Depression.
My bunk mates.
My new buddies.
Yet old friends.
Controlling.
Me...
Mania depression perfection pain
1.7k · Apr 2016
Sometimes
Ana S Apr 2016
Sometimes stuff is not gonna go the way you want.
Sometimes the world with explode under your feet.
Sometimes love will be just out of your grasp.
Sometimes people will be back stabbers.
Sometimes you'll bleed to death.
Sometimes you'll just have to sit there listening to angry music by Eminem to feel okay.
Sometimes you'll never be okay.
But that's okay.
Sometimes...
1.7k · Jan 2016
Bipolar
Ana S Jan 2016
Dark nights.
No lights.
Being bipolar stung.
The pressure of the world on your lung.
Can't breath?
Lucky me.
Standing beside as I'm dying.
Lock me up while I'm crying.
Watch out for this one.
I just wanted the gun.
Pull the trigger back.
Let the bullet attack.
Be proud mom.
Look where my brain has gone.
Drugs... Drugs... Drugs...
Hold me down to this earth.
A new dawn, new emotions birth.
Honey the doctors can help.
You never listen as I scream and yelp.
Stop trying to fix me.
I'm unfixable can't you see?
Just be still.
Thanks to the drugs I never get my fill.
Always hunting for something more.
Burns and cuts galore.
I need the pain.
You all call me insane.
Today I'm blue.
Oh you are too?
Today I'm white.
I can't feel, can't fight.
I can't run.
I guess I'm just done.
The colors dancing through your head. The voices mocking you til you're dead.
1.6k · Dec 2016
The words she paints
Ana S Dec 2016
The words she paints so gently
Etch my mind
Her voice leaving me stunned
So beautiful and fine
Speaking ever so softly
Sending chills down my spine
She wispers in my ear
Babe are you really mine?
I am yours my love.
Always have been.
Always will be.
Til the end of this universe.
And life as we know it.
I will always be yours.  
Some don't believe in forever.
Some don't think about infinities.
My infinty rests with her.
She is my light.
She is my love.
Whispering gently in my ear.
I love you so my dear.
Is that so? I wisper back.
Well beautiful, guess what?
I love you too.
The words she wispers softly
1.5k · May 2016
Song quote #3
Ana S May 2016
I fall in love just a little or little bit everyday with someone new...
-hozier
Random song quote
1.5k · Aug 2016
I won't give up on her.
Ana S Aug 2016
funny how when you love someone they are everything.
They are the light and the dark.
They are the sunset and rise.
They are all you can see.
With all the colors of the sun.
They are the only one.
They get you.
They understand you.
She is my everything.
She is my day and night.
Somehow she can make things alright.
She is beautiful.
She is the match before the explosion.
She is every breathing moment.
Absolutely everything.
Dreams of her
1.5k · Apr 2016
Mr. Kitty boy
Ana S Apr 2016
Your orange fur.
Sleep now sweet boy.
You don't have to stay alive if it hurts.
I know it's hard.
You had good times.
Biting my feet when I tried to have tea in the morning.
Sleeping by me every night.
Chasing rabbits in dawns early light.
I've heard heavens real nice.
There's probably a lot of mice.
You were a sweet boy.
I love you.
I will always love you.
Bye my kitty boy.
Let go if u can't fight anymore.
To my cat.
1.4k · May 2017
Anorexia
Ana S May 2017
Anorexia at its finest.
Thin and spineless.
Anorexia at its finest.
Taking away her will to eat.
Yes this is anorexia and its finest.
Let me tell you never once has anorexia give a **** about you.
Or her, him or me.
Anorexia at its finest.
1.4k · Feb 2018
What hands do
Ana S Feb 2018
Her hands always quick to throw.
Spit the first words.
Throw the first punch.

Relationships aren't perfect.
Mine was far from.
Words biting deep into my soul.
Tearing me apart bit by bit.

I was a doll in her games.
Her hands constantly put up one me.
Non consensual things.
Yes **** still applies in relationships.

All the people would come to her house.
Watch the door while we roll this.
Watch the door while we crush these.
I was nothing but a pawn in her games.

Sneaking ***** into my drinks.
Calling me nothing at nights when I couldn't sleep.
Holding me close only to destroy me later.

A.C. Long gone.
Down a road very bad.
A road of **** and ******.
Going to collage to be a psychologist until she fell into the arms of the monster.

The monster she hold so dear.
The monster who changed her.
The monster clenching her soul.

This monster can be injected,
This monster can be smoked...
this monster is impossible once it gets a hold.

She became the monster.
The one I was afraid of.
Started off small then bigger.

Drugs won't affect you unless you do them,
A common mistake people say.

No, never once did they affect me.
Or at least I can say.
But that was a lie.
Depression, eating disorders, self harm, emotional abuse, physical abuse, trauma, hallusionations, trust issues, fear.
All lay deep within the hands of the monster.

The monster chokes the good memory out of me.
The monster put me on a leash.
Home by midnight.
Locations on my phone.
Who is he.
Why are you not home?

A controlling girlfriend.
Talk to no one.
Only her.
Her whom was held dear by the monster.

The monster took the form of a black blur.
The one that sneaks up when you least expect it.
Yet she was excellent at hiding it.

I'm fine.
Nothing is wrong.
What's wrong with you.
Why do you question me.
Keep your mouth shut or things will get bad.

Tape over my mouth because god you don't want to see her mad.
Clothing may have hid my bruises.
The emotional pain still apparent.

All because my girlfriend held a contract with the monster.
The monster held her at night.
And that is what the hands do.
1.4k · Aug 2016
Give life a chance
Ana S Aug 2016
Young girl.
Tears in her eyes.
Every night she sat there and cried.
At school she didn't fit in.
She wanted to end it before it could begin.
Broken hearts.
Always torn apart.
Sweet girl.
In a broken world.
Never speaking up.
Her mind ready to erupt.
Ready to take her last breath.
Not knowing what all was left.
Not knowing the people left to meet.
Not knowing life could be sweet.
She wanted it all to be over.
Never giving life a chance.
Finally she let life take her hand.
Then she was finally able to understand.
Life was leading her to the light.
But in order to find it she had to walk through the night.
So as of today,
This girl no longer hides away.
This girl has discovered beauty.
The beauty life really can be.
That girl just might have been me.

A.S. A random Poem for a random night.
A poem based of my expirence
1.3k · Apr 2016
Your not a les...
Ana S Apr 2016
He looked at me.
Who are you?
I stared back deep into his eyes searching for emotion.
Nobody knows do they?
He said I'm not a lesbian
I've never done IT with a guy so I don't know which way I bend.
I just want to slam him into a wall and punch him.
I want to knock him out cold.
I want to take out all my rage.
Instead I just continue to stare.
Then technically speaking your not a Hetero... You've never done it with a man...
His face turned red with rage... I am not like that. You are different being Herero is normal. I don't have to be with guys to find out I'm normal.
I smiled back... Well honey don't know what makes us different. Technically speaking again, it's homosapian not heterosapian. So... Anything to say now? That's what I thought...
When words are better than violent out burst.
1.3k · Apr 2016
Labels
Ana S Apr 2016
Fat, skinny, anorexic, depressed
Emo, fake, two-faced
*******, brainiac, crazy,
Tall, short, giraff, mouse
Gay, straight, ****, ***
Bipolar, white, black
Christian, Jew,
Anger creates labels
Insecurity creates labels.
Labels
Destroy us.
Labels
1.3k · Dec 2016
When I look at her.
Ana S Dec 2016
When I look at her I see pain.
In the dark nights I hear her silent pleas.
She screams about the rain.
How it never stops.
How it's pounding her Brain.
Yes down falls the rain.
Yesterday night she fell weak to the blade.
Told me she'd be strong.
Promised nothing would go wrong.
I went to bed only in the morning to hear her gentle voice say...
"I'm sorry I wasn't strong."
It's okay I replied. You made it through the night.
1.3k · Apr 2016
Breath
Ana S Apr 2016
Everyone breaths until they die
Silly
Human
Close
Your
Eyes
...
The life of a human
1.3k · May 2016
Your not over
Ana S May 2016
You are not over.
Your time has not yet been served.
You learn from assuming.
Yes I assume.
Assume the worst.
For my love I appoligize.
Sorry for assuming.
Assuming the worst.
I just don't want to loose you.
You mean so much.
I've never been this way.
Never felt this way.
Never felt happiness without meds.
Now I know what it's like to be happy.
You have showed me happiness.
I love you.
Just a random poem
1.3k · Apr 2016
Sleep paralysis
Ana S Apr 2016
My body freezes.
My airways weezes.
I am pushed away from a deep sleep.
On so deep that my insides weep.
Upon waking up its hard to move.
Nothing I can really do.
So I lay here and stare.
Unable to move even if I dared.
Stuck here for minutes at a time.
Staring up at the roof hiding the sky.
Unable to let tears leave my eyes.
Here I stay unable to cry.
In a deep deep comma like state.
Here I lay here like a fish on a plate.
When your frozen.
1.2k · Jun 2016
The world is young
Ana S Jun 2016
Just beginning.
Wyd are still young.
Still being educated.
Only 40 years ago homosexuality was still considered a mental disorder.
Now equal rights are still non existent.
Sure since then things have gotten better.
But we still are not equal!
People still laugh when they see two men walking down the street holding hands.
People still thing lesbians are just there for there own nasty pleasure.
Kiss your girlfriend it's hot.
You don't say that to straight couples.
You don't stop and yell out the window when you see them.
You don't tell them to kiss for your own pleasure.
You don't go shoot their clubs.
The world is not equal.
We are no where near equal.
We are still lower than heterosexuals.
We are still thought of as sinners by churches.
We are frowned upon.
Youth are thrown out by there parents.
We still live in fear.
No rights til we are equal
**** right I SUPORT it!
1.2k · Mar 2016
You
Ana S Mar 2016
You
You take away the pain.
You are the sun in the rain.
A strange girl.
Yes you came into my broken world.
Showed me how to love.
I didn't try to push or shove
You away.
Please I wanted you to stay.
I dream of us
What we could be
Why can't you just love me?
For a girl
1.2k · Feb 2017
Don't curse Sky wizards
Ana S Feb 2017
I used to long for death.
Now I'm pleading it to stop.
Never appreciated life.
Now I can't get enough.
No forever is never promised.  
It can never be set in stone.
Lately my body has been deteriorating.
The only way to vent is here.
You see I have two lumps in my neck.
Nobody knows what it is yet.
Could be nothing could be something.
It varies from thyroid... lympth nodes swelling... all the way down to lymphoma, aka cancer.
They tell me not to worry.
It's best to prepare yourself for worse.
What if I am dying.
Atleast I'll be ready when my time comes.
After all we are all dying.
Life is inevitable.  
Life is unovoidable.
But death is inevitable as well.
There is no going around it.
You and I.
One day we are both going to die.
Maybe tomorrow maybe 13 years from now.
Life is not promised.
I remember last night.
I told her I could potentially be dying.
I told her not to worry.
I told her it probably isn't anything bad.
She tried to fight the tears then the began to flow.
Steady like a stream.
She was breaking because of me.
I told her I need you to be strong.
She said if I died she wouldn't go on.
She said you are the one I wanted all along.
What if this sky wizard called god is out to ruin us.
I asked why he would do that.
She just replied don't go cursing Sky wizards.
If there's a god I couldn't imagine him doing a thing.
Killing a girl at 16.
Taking my life when I've only just begun.
I used to beg for my end.
Little did I know I had only just begun.
1.1k · Jan 2016
Just a person
Ana S Jan 2016
So I guess I will begin.
Simple and sweet.
God what a treat.
I thought this life would be.
A November night that was me.
I began to grow.
People around dropped my self esteem low.
I wanted to cry.
Go away and hide.
I began to hate the world.
I wanted to leave.
Just leave me be.
I thought I could be free.
Away with everyone.
To hell I had gone.
Alone.
Then I began to step out.
I wanted to scream and shout.  
I had a secret to hide.
One that sat at my side.
I'm lesbian.
According to some a spawn of satan.
I questioned myself.
Locked my secret away on a shelf.
Finally I told her.
My mother.
Finally no more hiding.
No more careful deciding.
I can be who I am.
I was afraid of being ******.
But who cares.
Everyone concours dares.
Now I sit her talking to you.
The day questions what to do.
So that is me.
My not so simple story.
My story
1.1k · Apr 2016
No means NO
Ana S Apr 2016
Girls don't dress to please the eyes of creeps.  
Kids don't ask you to take away something that wasn't yours to take.
No means no.
So what if she wears shorts and tank tops?
She doesn't have a sign on her saying **** me.
She said no, NO MEANS NO.
I don't even get people anymore.
I don't understand humans.
******* creeps.
Why the hell would someone feel the need to do that after they said no?
It's all over the news.
Child kidnapped and rapped found dead...
Young lady kidnapped anyone have any information please call....
Young boy last seen with this man on...
Too often are these children and adults never seen again, alive atleast.
People don't ask to get kidnapped sure people make ****** decisions. Never once did they asked to be killed, *****, or abused.
So this goes out to all you out there who actually give a **** about this...
We need more people like you in the world. We need more people who care about issues like these.
And to all the victims...
   It was not your fault. Sure people may have made bad desisions, maybe had too much substances. Maybe you were forced into things you will never forget. Again you are stronger than you know. You survived that and are living now. A lot of people take for granted how good they have it. The people who take for granted never had people do things to them they didn't want done.
Just a random wrote about something important
1.1k · May 2016
Sad song quotes 1
Ana S May 2016
Rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself.
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath.
But never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind.
Until the night,
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger.
Whiskey lullaby/ Brad paisley
1.1k · Mar 2016
Grandma
Ana S Mar 2016
She raised me to be a perfect little lady.
Then I became just a tad too shady.
What have you done to your self?
Can't you just pretend to be someone else?
I didn't raise a perfect lesbian.
They should never expirence perfection.
You and your whole kind are sins.
An abomination from hell.
Shut your mouth never tell.
Don't let the world know.
That's the only thing to never be told.
Don't shout out the facts.
All you do is distract.
Fill your life with men.
And only then will you no longer be a lesbian.
A spawn of satin.
I could go for days.
With how many girls have you laid?
Burn in hell you ****** kid.
Put your secret in a box and close the lid.
Never again will you be a lesbian.
Then will you be perfection.
Only when no longer labels by lesbian.
Not true!
1.1k · Mar 2016
Math
Ana S Mar 2016
Math is killing me
Wasting me
It's taking my light
It is not right
F math
Just for fun
1.1k · Apr 2016
Depression has destroyed me
Ana S Apr 2016
Depression watches me.
Waiting for the ****.
Depression tugs me under the waves.
Under the waves of the grey sea.

Depression holds on tight.
Wraps its arms around me.
It wispers in my ears.
Rocks me to sleep every night.

Depression is listening when I cry.
It drys the tears from my cheeks.
It encourages me to sleep.
It tells me when I should die.

Depression stares as I fall over the edge.
Depression talks in my ear.
Says sorry my dear.
I pushed you off the ledge.

And now depression made me dead.
Depression has made me someone I'm not.
1.0k · Apr 2016
Song quotes #2
Ana S Apr 2016
That's why I am like I am cuz im my mom.
My mom, my mom, I know your probably tired of hearing about my mom.
But this is just a story of how when I was just a shorty and how I got hooked on ******.
"My mom"
Eminem
1.0k · Mar 2016
Rejection
Ana S Mar 2016
Hmm... Funny how depression rots your sole.
Funny how your young but you feel old.
It has its arms around me.
It's the only one who really can see.
Into my mind digging deep.
Talking to me, soothing me to sleep.
Reminding me of lines that used to be on my arms.
Reminding me of all the people who did harm.
Made me feel unloved.
Made me feel unwanted.
I needed you.
What did you do?
Walked out on me like everyone else.
Yeah the one girl said a chance was worth taking.
But why take chances when I'm the end you are breaking.
Well the last girl left me for dead.
Atleast said the voices in my head.
A little crazy?
I'd say a lot.
I can make it all go away with a single shot.
A bullet through my brain.
I guess dying in lititure relieves some of the pain.
I still cry every night.
Stopped cutting because someone said it wasn't right.
My wrists still bleed.
Only more internally.
It's only a blood I can see.
Nobody else really cared.
So here I am crying again scared.
Scared of tomarow.
Falling back into the sorrow.
My best friend slash obsession.
My friend named depression.
There you go...
1.0k · Jan 2016
Autism
Ana S Jan 2016
He screams and shouts.
He ***** but I've never had a doubt.
This boy is the definition of love.
He's as pure as a dove.
There's something inside.
The difference makes him alive.
Such deep blue eyes.
People come down from highs.
He sits beside me and claps.
Never really sat close in people's laps.
Yes he is defined as a label.
His disorder is no fable.
A little boy who means the world to me.
1.0k · Apr 2016
I decline father dearest
Ana S Apr 2016
The dark is when I can write.
Words work onto my pages during the night.
I can express the emptiness I feel.
It's the only way I recall on how to deal.
Deal with the pain from past lovers.
Deal with the hate from almost step mothers.
Even I'm not invited to my fathers wedding.
**** it, not like I wanted to see him give her a ring.
She said I must wear heels and a dress.
Smile act a bit impressed.
Well mummy oh my,
How the time flew by.
You really don't know me.
I wouldn't lay a finger on a dress you see.
And love if my girlfriend won't be allowed to accompany me,
I am not sorry to say I'm uninterested in your stupid wedding.
Your homophobic lies.
Look at you bat you beautiful eyes.
Honey it is a sin.
God knows you'll find out when...
When what???
When I burn in hell? You ****?
What is God going to do?
He's more accepting that you.
I go to church twice a week say prays every night.
But still according to you I'm doing nothing right.
I'm an abomination to the holy lord.
Wish you could hit my girlfriend with your ford?
Lay a finger on her you can go through me.
So please excuse me.
No I will not go to your no homos allowed ******* wedding.
Who gives a rats *** if your marrying my father.
He sure as hell never treated me like his daughter.
So why even bother.
I decline
991 · May 2016
Lost control
Ana S May 2016
I am here.
Here with you.
I only want to be with you.
Your touch.
Your words.
Gentle like the breeze.
Talking late into the night.
Yesterday we left class and met up.
We've done that once before.
We left and met in the bathroom.
You smiled.
I smiled.
You messed with your hair.
Apologized claiming it was messy.
No love, you are perfect.
You smiled.
Can I hug you?
Yes, don't need to ask sweet girl.
You wrapped your arms around me.
I fell victim to your touch again.
Living life on the edge again.
This time nobody pushed me over.
Perfect balance.
You smelled sweet
Your hug was like ****.
**** and I was addicted.
I needed you.
You were my drug.
Not bad though.
I wanted to stay this way.
I wanted to stay here with your arms around me for days.
Your fingers dancing up my sides.
I need you.
I am steady here.
But still falling.
Falling hard crashing....
God I love the falling.
I walked you halfway to class.
In front of your classroom we hugged again.
And left.
God I missed you like hell.
I can't stop missing you.
I'm aftaid we are mad.
Then again we are all mad here...
Losing control with her
978 · Jun 2016
Night talks
Ana S Jun 2016
Sweet girl...
Friends said I shouldn't talk to her.
Yeah she's slowly killing me.
Ripped my heart out for all to see.
Yet she holds it ever so gently.
Sweet Girl...
Talks about the other chick all the time.
Blocked me because she didn't want the chick to find.
That her and I were talking.
Sweet Girl...
I asked why she lets the one chick do that to her.
Why she can't move on.
She kept saying she needed something. Somehow I knew exactly what she means.
Sweet Girl. ..
You don't hold my heart as gentle anymore.
You kinda smashed it in a door.
Yeah this is how it feels to love someone who doesn't feel the same.
Sweet Girl...
I'm still sorry.
Sorry for doing everything.
A girls slowly killing me
954 · May 2016
When mom is silenced
Ana S May 2016
Yesterday was absolutely amazing.
Until it actually began.
Step dad was high.
Mom was angry.
The fought.
They screamed.
Everything blurred out.
Yelling
The
Voices
Panic attack.
I

Can't

Breath

Here.
949 · Jan 2016
Standing
Ana S Jan 2016
I want to run, but here I stand.
I began to fall, but on my feet I land.
I stand my ground.
Look around.
Here they scream out loud.
The names they shout out.
***, loner, weak.
Friendless, ****, meek.
Dead, ****.
Never to be liked.
Should I listen
Possibly dismiss them.
The words may burn.
At night I may toss and turn.
Sleepless  
Empty and dreamless.
I never want to be called a victim.
Maybe just a symptom.
One of being me.
So judgemental they have to be.
Why do they have to hurt me til I die?
Why do they spit their words til I cry.
I don't have to care.
I can pretend they aren't there.
That's what my mom says to do.
I told her I am me not you.
It's not the easiest thing.
Hearing other human beings.
Beating you down.
When everyone's around.
Watching your best friend.
Say our love was all pretend.
Well it's alright.
I'm okay for atleast another long hate filled day.
Bullying is never okay. It makes the people involved not okay. It matters what words say.
943 · Jan 2017
Night and the day
Ana S Jan 2017
Night stars
Passing cars
They all go by as blurs
Lying here
Next to her
I felt at peace
As if nothing could ever come between us.
Her arm around me
face inches away from mine.
I could feel her breathing against my skin.
I love you I whisper as we lay her.
I can see her eyes in the dark.
Her beautiful blue-green eyes.
Staring into mine.
I love you too she whispers back.
At that moment I know exactly where I'm supposed to be.
Anywhere including her and me.
We are meant to be together.
Like the day with the night.
Without one there isn't balance.
Night must eventually go away for the sun to rise.
And the sun must go down for night to come around.
Together they work together creating a cycle.
A cycle of balance.
Without her my life would have no balance.
She is my night
I am her day.
Night stars...
Passing cars...
Always meant to stay...
At peace with her
941 · May 2016
Mornings
Ana S May 2016
I was in this deep.
I just wanted her.
It hadn't even been that long.
I just want to be with her.
She is amazing.
So unique.
Not afraid to be herself.
My mind won't stop thinking about her.
I know if things fall through I'm going to crash.
Like a **** addict after the high.
Coming down is bad.
You are sky high.
Then you begin your decent.
Down... Down... Down...
I fell for her.
It's too late to turn around now.
Im glad it's too late.
Quite frankly I don't want to turn around.
I want to stay right here with her.
Every morning.
Every lunch.
i miss her when she isn't here.
The days are hard without her.
I message her.
Call her.
Such a sweet girl.
No I've never seen her dark side and we all have them,
But when I meet her demons that's okay.
The demons have to come out sometimes.
Chae let her demons stay out.
Mel is everything to me right now.
She hasn't let her demons out to play yet.
But we shall see
She brings out a sense of dare in me.
Something like a flame.
She taught me to live on the edge.
Chae tried but she ended up pushing me over.
Mel helps me balance there.
The edge is beautiful place.
Only with her though.
The edge is amazing.
I never want to leave the edge.
Stay here forever.
Walking in a short line yet being okay.
I'm okay with her.
to a girl I've fallen hard for.

Shout it from the roof top.
926 · Jan 2016
To my hero
Ana S Jan 2016
Dear inspiration,
In times of being broken you showed me light.
In times of my true self being woken you taught me wrong from right.
You smiled and laughed with me.  
You showed me everything has a price but friendship is free.
I was a strange thing.
A skinny little  voiceless soul left tingling.
The world told me who to be.
They took away every last piece of me.
I let them judge when the shouldn't.
I refused stand when I couldn't.
It started with a simple common ground. Then I fell in love with you being around. A criticized teen.
A nightmare waiting to be seen.
You helped me stand.
You gave out a lending hand.
For that I say thank you.
And I'm in debt for everything you do.
A very personal letter to a man who helped me through the storm.
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