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Sydney Ann Feb 2015
Ok.
So it's Valentines day.
I'm alone,
but I'm in love again.
                                    The chemicals in my brain are firing pleasure sensors
                                     or whatever that science **** says.
                                      It bothers me that I live a lie no matter what truth I embrace
but whatever

I'm in love with his smile
his laugh
how he and I know exactly what each other is thinking
telepathy is our ESP.
If he knew was me
he would know it was him
still is him
by the way

I'm in love with his poetry
his voice
Every new thing I learn
Is a starburst in my heart

I know I look like a stalker
the way I follow him
but seeing him is my sanity

I have to believe
he will love me one day
if I want to live
another day
Feb 2015 · 10.4k
I NEVER BELONG
Sydney Ann Feb 2015
I NEVER BELONGED HERE
ALOT OF US NEVER DID
OUR FACES AREN'T REAL
THEY'RE WALLS WE HIDE BEHIND
WE DON'T BELONG HERE
WE JUST WATCH THE REST
OBSERVE TO SEE HOW TO ACT
WE DON'T BELONG HERE
BUT YOU WOULD NEVER GUESS
HOW MANY OF US WALK AMONG YOU
I wrote this little piece for a creative writing class
Feb 2015 · 550
Mistaken
Sydney Ann Feb 2015
I'm just four
To five
Seconds from leaving
This place
Ten long seconds of dying,
After eight
Long days of wanting your
Hand by my side
I swear no one can lift me up higher

If I could claim just six
Short
Seconds of talking
Or maybe a couple
More
Days
To just be by your side
I promise
I would survive
Feb 2015 · 556
when you are killing me
Sydney Ann Feb 2015
there are moments
when i fade out of existence
disappear from reality
this reality
into a new one
a place you wouldnt believe
my place
my realm
it's my place to hide
safety from life
when you hurt me
i have to go there
it might protect me
wont hide me from your kind
your species
but maybe hide me from the pain
oh how it kills me.
Sydney Ann Feb 2015
Okay so I must confess
I'm in love with you
You should know that by now
Don't ask me how it happened
Unless you want to be confused
                                                        ­My voice cannot
                                                         Communicate the beauty
                      But the thing is
                      It's trapped inside
                      Which ***** for me, but I think I can deal
I know I'm vulnerable
But I can make it through fire and ice,
You should know that by now
                                                           ­                  I know I'm secretive,
                                                                ­   No one knows anything about me
                                                              ­ You should know that by now
                                             Oh wait....
                   I'd love to talk to you
                           I know how you're struggling
                                   Seeing it is like seeing my heart die a little bit
                                            Which doesn't make sense
I don't even know you...
     But I'd like to.
                                                             ­  I'd give anything to be close to you
                                                             ­   You should know that by now
                                                     Right?
                  But just seeing you is enough
             I know you are smart
      An introvert under all that confetti
  Different from those Populars
I know when you look into my eyes you understand a little
I do too,
   But I think you should know that by now
                                                           ­   I have a plan
                                                            ­          I always do
                                                              ­You should know that by now, Love
                                  My plan is to ride fate
                                   I think.
                                          I should know this by now
                   I'm sure you're the only reason I'm here still
                         If you left this world
                            I couldn't make it
                                                 You should know that by now
If the world was a bucket of ***** marbles
          You would be one of those few interesting ones
                  With black painted over
                To conceal the little sun inside you
                         Like me
                            But you don't even try to be
                                                       So Perfect
Much too beautiful for the ***** who broke your heart
    You mourn her
   I wish you'd trust me
When I told you
It doesn't have to be like that
  I can make it stop hurting
     You should know that by now
                                                           ­   It hurts me not to
                                                              ­       Run into your arms every day
                                                             ­                 And never let you go
                                                              ­        Never let you hurt again
                                                           ­     Because I am so in love with you
                                                       You should know that by now.

~ Love,
       Triple
I wish he could read this
I guess I'm on my own
I love him so
The truth unfolds
Alas, it's much too much
Feb 2015 · 849
My Name
Sydney Ann Feb 2015
------
It means nothing because it is only a group of letters
                        It means something because a name names a real thing
            It means permanent because we don't name what will soon go away
It is the number 6
It is graphite on a plain white backdrop
It represents all my memories,
                           Every night I swim through
                                           Every day I face
It represents recollections of people
                        Whose names fill those memories
            Represented by their own names and their own sets of memories
People who are teaching me freedom and trust
Like when I let Polar Opposite have my heart
                       And KRD have my secrets
                                          To keep
It means I am a person of memories
                         But it is also whatever you dream of when you hear it
Wrote this in creative writing class, enjoy
Feb 2015 · 1.5k
Don't Fix Me
Sydney Ann Feb 2015
I am radiant
   So do not rationalize

                         I shine like stars
                           through brilliant bubbles
                        of light and love and patience
        
                   if you rationalize me
               I become just a weak light bulb,
            struggling to illuminate
                even the smallest empty room
                      on my own
Feb 2015 · 6.7k
Rhyme Acne
Sydney Ann Feb 2015
Writer's block has clogged my mental pores
Oily ignorance I cannot ignore
Technology is fogging up my mind
Leaving me no time to unwind

I looked in the mirror today
And guess what I saw

My ugly, stunted imagination's face
Full of gross digital zits
I'm really starting to miss
My former wit
I've got to get out of this keyboard-y place
Jan 2015 · 719
Being Alone
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
There comes a time
When you need to realize,
Child,
That you cannot hold
Someone's hand forever.
One day
You must pick yourself up
And face this world
With the power inside you,
Not borrowed stuff from His heart
Or from what's in that syringe.
From inside **You
Jan 2015 · 579
Friends Are Like
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Snowflakes.
Snowflakes that are each unique
Yet thousands upon thousands
Each it's own
Lie unfound
In a snowbank called Earth.
Just waiting to be admired
But in the end expire
As all life eventually does.
Write about your friends and use #ourfriends
Jan 2015 · 615
Friends Are Like
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Friends are like sunscreen:
**Irritating as Hell,
But always save your *** in the long run
NEW CHALLENGE
Jan 2015 · 376
WHAT ARE YOUR FRIENDS LIKE?
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
NEW CHALLENGE: Post a poem starting with friends are like
use the tag: #ourfriends
also tag the friend you're talking about if it's a specific one
                                                         STAY AWESOME
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
I'm tired of being the one in charge
The leader
The initiator
Deciding everything in our relationships
I know I'm hard headed
I know I'm stubborn
But ****** lets do this your way
I'm tired of deciding alone
Is it just me or do guys let the girl drive always, having someone else take care of me would be nice every once in a thousand years
Jan 2015 · 539
Tears on my Keyboard
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
I would give anything to tell you
To explain
You just don't understand
You say you're not over her
How she hurt you
WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME?
So what if I like you
It's not like that
I love you
I want to help
But you ignore me
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL FEELS LIKE
Because I DON'T THINK YOU DO
Remember how I asked you to sit with me?
You sat with them
Even after you said they aren't your friends
I SAT ALONE
I cried.
In public.
This is rock bottom for me
How badly do you want me dead?
Just keep spilling the tears onto my keyboard,
Let's see how long it takes
Jan 2015 · 558
Someone Please
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Will someone please help me?
I'm begging you on my knees.
Give me some inspiration,
'Cause darkness is all I can see.
Someone lend me some courage;
There's a noose around my neck
It's itchy and scratchy and always at mind
the thought of the end
Sounds simply divine
I've got it all planned
But if you'd give me  hand
Maybe I'd start to live again.
I am at the end of my rope tonight.
Jan 2015 · 2.8k
Spoiled
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
I can't believe
How spoiled I am
I have a bed to sleep in
Food
Water
Clothes
Yet sometimes I want more.
Such a brat!
Thinking I deserve these things
While people who work
100,000 times harder than me
Die every day
Without the things I take for granted
Things I never even think of
Why am I alive
If I'm such a waste of resources
All the wealth in the hands of the few. Very saddening.
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
It physically pains me
To see you bleed

On the inside.

Thoughts of your aura
I can't escape

I don't want to

No, ironically all I want
Is to be close to you

Never mind the physical stuff

I just want to be near you
I want you to let me in

I know I sound fickle
When you consider my past
But please know

I love you
You.

You are so perfect.

I just want to help
You
Survive

I know it's a bad time
To ask for things

Like dating

That seem stupid
But I understand.

I can help

If you'd just let me in
Stop walking away
*I love you.
The loneliness at night is unbearable.
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
I am an undercurrent, free flowing river, whispering these secrets.
Jan 2015 · 1.9k
Fog
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Fog
On those mornings,
and days,
weeks
that last for years
where my head is foggy
every second,
foggily upset
and unable to grasp
what the real problem is
if there is an actual problem to begin with
the best thing to do
is not make any decisions
'cause you'll regret them
forever.
Jan 2015 · 700
Not Human
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
I don't want to be human anymore.
I don't want to be part of the
Hate
Cruelty
Selfish need for attention
The imperfection of the human mind.

The worst part now days
Is seeing myself do these things
Commit these crimes
I feel their hurt.
Seeing myself be a human
And not even being able to stop it
The only reason I exist
Is to make up for the faults
Yet I just can't seem to stop being
Everything I hate
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
-You impress me in so many ways
No, the only thing that impresses me now days is your closed mind and your closed imagination
-You never intend anything bad; you're pure hearted
Sure, Unless it's an authority figure in your way, and with your nasty comments you aren't pure
-You never give up on the things that count
Except grades and morals, not to mention my beliefs.
-You're modest, smart, funny, a good talker, and a great person. This is why I love you unconditionally as a human being.
You're an idiot most of the time, I can't text you for 5 minutes without getting bored, but I remember how I loved you.
-You're polite, not critical unless you need to be
To me, at least**
-You have a sense of humor
-You're not fake and you don't pretend to be what you're not
-You own up to your mistakes
I know everyone says their love was the strongest, but I think ours was really something. I just now found out how people called us Romeo and Juliet, EVERYONE, even people like three grades above us and two grades below us knew about us, we were the role models. We never fought, we were the perfect little comedy act, we never realized at the time, but even in public we would stare, literally stare for like forever, at each other and life would move on around us. It wasn't coincidence that 2 seats were always left on that bench because people were waiting for us. I ask a friend, to this day, if she's in love with the guy she's been dating for months, and her automatic reaction is "I guess, but not like you and ____ were..."
Jan 2015 · 1.4k
Band-Aids
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
No matter how many drugstores I rob
I will never have enough Band-Aids
For what you've done to me
Jan 2015 · 517
For BrokenInside
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
We love you more than you could know,
We see your pieces as a whole
I wish you'd really look inside
And see the beauty no one can hide
Your poems are gold
Your words are bold
Light that no one can hide

Everything that is beautiful is cracked; that's how the light gets in
New challenge idea... Poems of moral support for those you care about, USE #hanginthere AND PLZ PARTICIPATE!
Jan 2015 · 1.0k
Scars (12w)
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Covered in scratches
Covered in scrapes
Drowning in wounds
That eternally ache
Jan 2015 · 1.9k
Soon
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Soon someone will love me
Soon someone will care

Soon someone will kiss me
Soon someone will dare

Dare to love me
Dare to hear
All my secrets
Secret fears

Fears that hurt me
Steal the air
Soon he will love me
I know he will dare
Jan 2015 · 2.2k
Pins and Needles
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
It is not this onion I wish to *****
But your heart and mind I wish to stick
You'll think of me night and day
Until with words you arrive and say
"I love you"
Jan 2015 · 1.8k
Access
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Letting people
Into my heart
And onto my body
is a scary violation
And a vulnerability.
Allowing a person access
To everything
How can I?

Maybe I have trust issues... I just don't know how to deal
Jan 2015 · 657
Asocial (5 reasons)
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Sure, nag me about how I need to make friends.
I don't work well with people.
1   They don't listen to me
2   They don't notice me
3   They think I'm shallow
4  They aren't aged like me,
Mentally children.
5   They don't understand the power (the curse) the agony

Don't even know about it
Don't understand why I can't be a kid
'Cause my life's dedicated to finding the truth
And not going crazy
And I can't stand their ignorance
Jan 2015 · 620
Get The Reference?
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
People talking in movie shows
People smoking in bed
People voting republican
Give them a boot to the head

Mechanics who can't fix a car
Politicians who can't think
The salesman who wont leave me alone
The waiter who forgot my drink

BOOT TO THE HEAD
Na na
BOOT TO THE HEAD
Na na
**BOOT
TO
THE
HEAD!
THIS DOES NOT REFLECT MY POLITICAL VIEWS... PLEASE NO HATERS!!!
Jan 2015 · 556
Get The Reference
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”

“If I ever meet myself, I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what'***** me.”

“I'm up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.”

"He (Zaphod) then had another quick one (drink) to follow the first one down and check that it was all right. [...] sent a third drink down to see why the second one hadn't yet reported on the condition of the first. [...] He poured a drink down his other throat with the plan it would head the other one off at the pass, join forces with it, and together they would get the second to pull itself together, give it a good talking to and maybe a bit of a sing as well. He felt uncertain as to whether the fourth drink had understood all that, so he sent down a fifth drink to explain the plan more fully and a sixth for moral support."
“One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphood was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was renowned for being amazingly clever and quite clearly was so—but not all the time, which obviously worried him, hence, the act. He preferred people to be puzzled rather than contemptuous.”
Jan 2015 · 359
Get The Reference
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
How to fly:
Step one- get up on a cliff
Step two- jump off said cliff
Step three- forget to hit the ground
Jan 2015 · 624
Get The Reference?
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Ode To The Green Lump Of Putty I Found In My Ear One Midsummer Morning**
(I'm sure you would rather I didn't recite this, for Vogon poetry is one of the worst form of torture. You wouldn't be able to understand without a fish in your ear anyways...)
Jan 2015 · 498
Get The Reference
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Ask
A
Fish
Head
A-
ny-
thing
You want to
They
Wont
An-
swer
They
Can't
Talk!

Fish heads, fish heads
Rolley polley fish heads
Fish heads fish heads
Eat them up
Yum!
Please tell me someone gets it...
Jan 2015 · 2.5k
You Know Who's Awesome?
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Vanessa Gatley
Her words of encouragement make our days awesome and our smiles wider
Jan 2015 · 3.3k
You Know Who's Awesome?
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Starry Night
Her poems are mind blowing
Jan 2015 · 1.1k
Forgive Me
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Forgive me
I know what I've done
I'm trying so hard
To blot out the memories
Of my crimes
With the love I put out
All I want is to make up
For those moments
I would do anything to erase
Jan 2015 · 733
His Songs
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Is it weird
That I cling
To the songs
I know he listens to
To feel his feelings
Pretending I have his heart?
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Some one should have told me not to go this far.
At the first stages of this obsession, It was just the same
Just the same as any pre-teen curiosity
I was a curious little one, I suppose.

But as usual, I have to work for what I want,
Nothing ever comes easy
But I suppose I like it that way
Or I did

I wanted this
Wanted it so badly
Just like any other human
I wanted to be special
How disgustingly selfish

I wanted the titles
The magic
"Witch,
Psychic,
Magic,
Medium"

I read the books
I tried and tried
And then I fell in love

I guess that was the key
I got what I wanted
Now all I have to do is protect it.

But no kid should have to suffer through this
Cry at night because the world is so pointless
Hate being human so much


I never thought
That all I would long for
Is to be selfless  
To love unconditionally

No matter how hard I fight
I will always be
A selfish
                  Hateful
                              ­  Lusting
                                               Malicious
                                                       ­         Worthless
                                              ­                                     Pointless human
Just like everyone
Living life for their own satisfaction
Nothing else


I hate myself.
I want to stop existing.
I want to go back to blissful ignorance.


I am so ashamed
I should have known
I cannot control human nature

I am so ashamed
That I am so weak
I can't control my desire to be special
Or my "dark side"
Or admit that that dark side is just a figment
*So people will pay attention to me.
Thank you so much if you read the whole thing. I feel better that I got this off my chest. If you're thinking of reaching higher psychic awareness, I wish you the best of luck and know you have my love <3
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Yea, sure
I put on a smile when you see me
I laugh
I'm nice
I'm average,

But, you see,
There are two sides to every coin
And just because
I choose to show
The Puppy Tail side
Doesn't mean the
Dismembered Head side
Isn't alive and kickin'
**Right
         Underneath
                              The surface
Jan 2015 · 3.0k
New Year
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Saturn
            Is in
                    Sagittarius
                                       And I am finally
                                                         ­            Free
                                                      Fr­om Hell
                              To have a life
**And truly live
Happy Holidays everyone!!!
Jan 2015 · 308
Things I Have
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
I have real feelings
I have real dreams
Sometimes I cry
Silently scream

l am a real person
Please listen for once
For I have no choice
Please hear my words
Please give me a voice
I never feel like l am important enough for anyone to listen to me
Jan 2015 · 407
(14w)
Sydney Ann Jan 2015
Mario is red
Sonic is blue
Please press select
And be my player two
Laugh a little for the holiday season, I think we all need to lighten up a little
Dec 2014 · 466
He Says (Emotional Lockbox)
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
"WARM FUZZY FEELINGS"
"Me too."
I say, "I like you"
"ALOT"
he Says
"You get hugs."
I Say
"Does that mean acceptance?"
He Says
"I'm not sure."
I Say
"That's okay."
"That's better than I'd hoped for."
I want Emotional Lockbox to let me in so badly
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
'Wander',
                        a word for
Shadows                        like myself
~Shakespeare
Dec 2014 · 3.0k
Hypocritical
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
Truth: We call ourselves deep
Sometimes: We call others shallow
But really: We are the shallowest of all
                                                           **For we wear our hearts on our sleeves
                                                         ­  Inflate our pain
                                                            ­And  pine for that                          which we do not             deserve
Dec 2014 · 790
Snow (19W)
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
Fluffy fluffy flakes
Falling to the ground
The air is cold
The wind is bold
There's silence all around
I'm not ready for winter!
Dec 2014 · 1.1k
Alone
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
I am not alone because I
Can't make friends

I am alone because alone is safe

No one can tear the
Tender flesh of my heart
If no one is near enough
To find it
Dec 2014 · 602
#my addiction
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
I'm addicted to
Mourning
Laughing
Crying
Colors
Music
Him
Love
Poetry
Books
Im­agination Situations
Stars
Dreams
Nightmares
Thoughts
Dec 2014 · 635
Raise A Glass
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
... If no one listens

... If, when they do, they don't understand

... If you're a loner

... If you like it that way

... If you're special

... If you're different...

STAY THAT WAY
I  Love You Just How You Are

... All You Secret Souls Out There
If you walk in through the out door, yeah
Dec 2014 · 656
Once Upon a Time
Sydney Ann Dec 2014
Once upon a time of darkness
I came upon my greatest fear
It thickened
And twirled through
It made me stiff
As I grew near
I freeze,
I don't know what to do
I just hope I'll make it through*

It haunts me as I walk through life
This fear it cuts me
Sharp as knives

We're vulnerable to this lethal fear
But if you challenge
If you fight
This fear can no longer
Rule the night
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