A shimmer in her eyes, a temptation or desire
Not for the average allurement; money nor lust
Perhaps for a seducement more deeper,
A fancy for death?
Mask it with a façade of happiness. A laugh. A smile.
Why, you might ask?
She doesn't not want to have anyone worry over her mental sake,
The feeling of not being worthy enough for their tender emotions.
She builds bridges but ends up burning it to ash,
Afraid of letting anyone get to close to her
Many important people had come and go,
Stomping, ripping, smashing and destroying her blazing heart.
People who did not deserve to know her like that.
Taking her trust, love and happiness with them.
Disappointment plays a big roll in her life,
Not against herself, but within the deep confines of relationships, hope, and love.

She burns bridges faster than she builds them,
and she is me.

Maria Aug 5

What do you really mean when you say “I love you”
Do you mean it like I do?
Like the breathless hunger for your presence
And constant yearning for your knowledge
That I always feel?
Or is it a synonym for “adequate”
Or “good enough for now”
Does it mean “I like you--I think”
Or “I don't understand these grown up words”?

What do you really mean when you say “forever”
Do you mean it like I do?
Like the amount of time it would take me to walk to the end of the Earth for you
Or how long it’d take to count all the stars in the universe?
Or is it a synonym for “a passing moment that doesn’t even warrant a fleeting memory”
Or “long enough to have fun but not long enough to ensure commitment or loyalty”?
Does it mean “the word I’m running from” or “I’m careless with my words and I’ll be even more so with your heart”?

What do you really mean when you say “I need you”
Do you mean it like I do?
Like my heart aches when I’m not with you
And  fall asleep holding the teddy bear you gave me as if it were really you
Or is it a synonym for  “I want to uses your body” or “I need a distraction from the last one”?
Does it mean “I want to devour your sex like it's another pastime”
Or “you are, actually, another pastime”?

What do you really mean when you say “you’re mine”
Do you mean it like I do?
Like “you’re mine to protect and cherish”
Or like the way the ground claims new roots as its own, feeding the small flower--neutering it?
Or is it a synonym for “I own you”
Or “you have no power; you’re worthless”
Does it mean “you are an object for me to sell and trade”
Or “you are like an artist’s model--you are mine to twist and contort into any position I want”?

What do you really mean when you say anything
Your words seem so dishonest when examined by my past
Do you mean it like I do?
Do you mean it at all?

What do you really mean when you say “I love you”

Jenn Linh Jun 30

Once whom I considered my very best friend
To now my worst enemy
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words won't hurt me...

No that does not apply
Your words have spread to those who I used to adore .
As easy as it was for that knife to slit into my back is how easy it broke me down.
In ways in which I have no words to describe..
But what's worse is the image on your face after all you've done and your apology is so cunning ...
Some how there is still something within me which only wants to forgive.
Now I'm torn
I'm confused ..
Shall I move on so I mustn't be hurt like this or shall I keep you close for enemies your supposed to keep the closest

© Jenn Linh

Tunde Lakanu Jun 29

I am not as complicated as one may think
The way I bloom terminally
I arise from specs of herbaceous
I am a fruit that hardens before it glows

I am a provider of growth
I don't heal wounds, I heal patterns
I see normal as something that has been created out of fear yet something to own
I yearn for identity as a wave yearns for a shore

The warm vibrant hue walls built around me bares recourse
I want to share what makes me whole only if it's worth it to hold
I am no more than a berry that has scarred
I am a product of adaptation

Your anticipation to open me up continues to astound me
To not fully understand what's inside only to explore what can't be undone
The longer I stay closed up the quicker meeting to my demise
The end is no more than lost potential
I transfer over as energy more opaque over time

trust, mine own enemy mine
i trust you less than i love you
and i don't love you much

love, my distant friend
your fingertips ghost my skin
once every couple lifetimes

hate, another's waste of time
i haven't the capacity to give
someone i dislike so much thought

anger, you abusive lover
kiss my knuckles when you bruise them
warm me from the inside

anger, you deserve three stanzas
such a permanent fixture in my life
always there, by my side

anger, warm me from the inside
'til i overheat and explode
winter isn't here but there's cold in my bones

Quick 6-7 minute write. Not proof read, as with all my works.
Yozhik May 5

I don’t believe in fairy tales
But if I did, I think that I
Would unfold wings
Of light metal
Learn to fly
With glinting rings
Of gold upon my brow
Writhing ‘round my ankles,
gilded snakes eternal.

I’d imbibe my blood
Which would decree
If good or evil I would be
Watch the fates a circle 3
Weave the thread that makes me, me.

And when I died
I’d have been brave
My ghost would dance
Upon my grave
Before seeking salvation’s solace.  
Never to be soulless.

And maybe with this world of
Witchcraft ingrained in my mind
Would be that feeling others find
So easily; the leap of faith into
An embrace
A rush upon
Seeing a face
Anyone, everyone, true love
for the One--
another Holy Grail...

But it'd take a witch’s brew
To make me “fall in love” with you.
For I haven’t believed in fairy tales
Since once upon a time.
When heroes become monsters
Loving is a crime.

Kaylee L Oct 2016

i try to keep myself humble at all times. Although my insecurities eat me alive some times. i could have all the confidence in the world and have it drain instantly at the sight of someone/something.

I try to remind myself that everything i ever wanted could be taken away by a cute lightskin nigga with a fade

I try to remind myself about how my girl and i even came. That it very well could happen to me. How easily a cute white girl came and took someones world away from them and claimed it as theirs.

I try to remind myself that no matter how good things are, it could disappear because the cutest white boy could easily steal my sunshine.

I try to remind myself that all i was was a side piece until i smooth talked my way into her heart and put stars in her sky when she asked me why i wanted her.

i try to remind myself that any cute lightskin nigga with a fade can do the same.
Any cute white girl can take my place.
and even the cutest white boy can be her new saving grace.

I still try to hide behind a false happy and act unbothered like my mind doesnt wander back to the hell i kept myself in in the past years. that cute white boy was me at one point. that cute white girl was me at one point. That cute lightskin nigga with a fade started all this shit inside me about the insecurities i posses and why ill never feel secure in a relationship.

I try to remind myself to never let my wall down. How i took from them, they can take from me. I don't see myself as much and that's why i am so guarded cause i feel as though it will happen. That cute white boy came through the drive thru to tell you what i tell you hourly and you felt the need to let me know in those words. I know you're beautiful. The world knows it too. i just want to be the only beautiful and cute to you.

George Anthony Sep 2016

Surrounded by a bunch of fake friends, claiming
"We don't talk like we used to anymore,"
Passing blame like cigarettes,
And stifling the urge to choke:

Strong men. Even the sponge of our lungs is hardened
Stainless steel because no broken promises
Are gonna mar the way we breathe,
Fuck panic attacks; just contain it 'til we implode

Volcanoes collapsing in on themselves,
Chests crumbling, collapsing, converted into ash
Blood turned lava, thick like the way we all used to be
(Thick as thieves, thick as thieves)

And hot as the temper that erupts in me
Every time you fog my head with morphine,
Numb the pain your lies have caused me
Have me lie back and swallow down pills

Am I supposed to just take what you've given me
And ignore what you've taken from me?
Thick as thieves, thick as thieves:
Why'd you steal from me?

George Anthony Aug 2016

after some time
and some distance
it's safe to say that
i love you
like a best friend,
and i can't describe
the relief that brings me.

my heartbeat
doesn't feel so painful,
not anymore,
and i breathe
so much easier
now that i know
i'll never have to write
another heartbroken word about you
ever again.

god, i love you still,
i really, really do;
but it's so much easier now,
not struggling to swim
through raging waves
under the weight of
expectations and assumptions,
hesitation and guilt

it's so much easier
to be in love with you
with almost none of the romance
that went with it before,
and i really hope that
you're okay with that,
because you promised me:

"you're enough", you said.
and it took every ounce of courage
dredged up
from the marrow of these aching bones
to trust you,
to believe you,
to dare to allow that someone―
that you―
could love me
unconditionally.

George Anthony Jun 2016

i asked you;
you lied.

i wondered,
"don't you trust me?"

i looked at you:
transparent, always a bad liar,

to the point where
it becomes enraging;

your lies mounting―
blatant, obvious

i looked at your sullen face,
felt myself grow bitter

i wondered,
"didn't our love once taste sweeter?"

i asked again;
you lied again.

i wondered,
"when did you regress?"

i wondered,
"when did we regress?"

it felt like
twelve steps forward, thirteen back.

maybe we're just meant to be
unlucky.

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