Rivers of life rush in as each moment enters my mind
slip down and plop - slowly flowing
Trickling as the past comes forward
And each bellowing cry leads my flowing eyes
To reach within
Each breathe does not run smooth

I fall back into my mind looking I see the
Cinematography lights capture your faces
And each passing laughter captures your spirit
As each passing moment enters my mind as a spinning glow
Every waking moment I'm  holding onto what is left

Every pixelated second reached from your pocket
Lives, breathes, and encapsulates your eyes
Flickers as a breathe from the under currents
Stirring inspiration

Your grace - beautiful - posed - sparkle
Breaks every boundary I knew about you

I climb my mountains, and burn my bridges
Stonemasons carved my road, yet I stand looking at an empty well
I heard laughs and cries of joy, but my trees hid a waterfall
And all were jumping but me
I dipped my toes and now I see I could not dive
But do not be afraid to jump
The glowing mist will circulate in your body - casting a god like shadow
Greeting, gently, fervently - you are here
Do not be afraid

The wheat grass blows beneath me and you stand with me
Seeing what I see
The city lights melt in my arms - and you fade into flashes
Movements of passing gestures and
My love for you only grows, but I stay asleep

Your adagio string symphony fingerprints my fluttering breathe
And your whip in the wind stands still as I see you dancing to your heart
You can not see the regret - it shall not pass
Again, I see you in the wheat field
My hands reach for yours - the dandelion is lost in the wind
The rain falls - the music falls to a slow ending
I grab what I see
Hold it for as long as I can - it will never be to late
Never
To start once more
While holding what - I've become

How can I phrase this?
Lamely laid - I've paid my way to my own grave, but I changed
Transformed
It's the day I will exclaim in pity pools and parade budded skies
My lovely hearts are carried to fry
It's why?  

It's city kings and big boxed lords sitting on lards of lush and luxury
Delivering to the mouths and blistering our hearts
And keeping the steel wall closed from ourselves - we become the consuming  generation

Airdropped from to the earth from a contained hedonistic lair.
We grow in every way and grow through every day
Listen...
Look...

Feel.

Can you digest what you see?
Can you see, the cruelty painfully pushed as a casualty
Covered like up like a felony
Treated like no biggie
Thee eyes no nothing of what they see
Their story is morphed

And no one wants the truth

So we sit in silence

Until the world sees what I see - justice

When have you graced me with love

Look

Outside - you want yourself, you wait

And I sit in silence - I berate that day your lights filled the sky

Green lush mountains peak to the heavens singing ' my oh my - dreamers catchen the spirit tonight'

But I fall deep to dark ashes and rebirth into the lord Phoenix and become one

I no longer wait, I paint my skies with hues of lavender and peach

Maybe one day you will become one with me

This is a place where I divide
What I feel and what I see
Convincing, I hide in a flowery castel built by the higher mind
I write and read and hold each word closely
I hold tightly , I speak gently
This is the safe haven of poetic minds

The lens captured my heart
But I couldn't catch myself - before to late
Clicking and clacking.... Crumbling and crushing I create
A morphed haze of delusions keeping me steady
I clack along.....

Crickets creek under the midnight glow
I hear the Violins strumming to the airy night
And as many stars a glow, the warm gust heightens the senses
And fervor stirs in the belly - warmth, touching, feeling
Flickering candle light momentous glow - lifts your head back

The breathes of air gently brisk on your neck
Guiding it's way to your back
Grasping behind you
Holding you tightly - embracing you
The summer breeze welcomes your deviousness
Your imaginings and all of the wild rage, yearning for touches

Laying your back on the dune under the twinkling ceiling  
A distant dream imagined years ago and enters a doubt
Loneliness creeps in and ones ideal twinkles again and hope is restored
The empty echoes filled with cricket squeaks
Jitter bugs and buzzing fills the void of the empty summer breeze

I feel as though my life is ending
Must I say so, think so, feel something so wrong?
Am I?
Do I know when there is a beginning?

Do I know?
Beginning at a point - ending at a line

Do I know what it feels like to triump ?
To honestly lose ?
To succeed or to fail ?

Should I?  Will I ?

Do I wish to shoot cuspid's bow and arrow? Will I? Could I ?
I have never left my target out.
But will a change in heart occur?

Will I change?

Can we......
I feel - is all this - wrapped in knots, hope, cloud, and a clout to my head
A motion, flashed - twitched in a second, innuendos
The clock handle moving - while our motion is steady - untouched
Building and falling. Your bravery marked on us both, forever falling to your grip

Green, blue, purple, lively love my dear
Have you whispered sweet nothings
In ones soft ear, caressing them in a trans
Whispering 'it's you'
Finally, a dream caught in your sunrise
The hands you hold me with mold into my side
Marking my hide - burning inside
With passion - fumed, full of embers crystallizing
Will you bring me - collide to me - send me to you
You whisper on my neck touching slowly - counting the galaxy
The lunar collection piled on my back
The mountains of smoke collect in your misted breathe
And your holding me by a whisper - and I drag my arms
Holding you -
Fervor of your brushes - the taste of your wind
Surrounds me - holds me

The world's tipped on its axis, yet my mind is tripped over you
Lost in relish of giddy tickled touches - fools stuck in a dreaming pool of love
Light rays land on your hand guiding a touch once more
You do, hold me - and I you

Her chair by the grandfather clock
Creaked with ticking and tocking - a moment awaits
She grips her hands softly
Her furrowed brow creased and squinted a moments memory
The pillows of green lounged and her lover caressed her golden locks

1964

In memories of black and white his arms carried her
She carried him with her
In plushness, her cheeks puffed, her lips puckered
Her blue eyes gleaming vivaciously
As the waving goldness of yellow and orange waved back and forth
Leaning their backs towards the eye of the sun
The couple gleefully, held on to one another

Hours turned over into days - passing by time
They gripped tight on to eachother.
Moving in they moon danced to the stars
Sleeping in their hammock
Yet she felt him loosen with ease
The flower by their sink rotten and cumbled into oblivion
She cried for days yet they held on to each other

The mail man comes early today.....

She heard him cry
The foreboding of death crawled into their home, unexpectedly
The grim fate had him pulled him away
Cut loose and shield our touches - his departure to the battlefield

His flights leaves and time is the hourglass
She recalls the night of his departure vividly

6:34 - Fighting

6:41 - Screaming

6:45 - All of the kitchen ware is shattered

6:53 - Him gluing the parts together

7:00 - Making love

7:39 - Him walking down the street waving

7:45 pm - Lights out

Current Day

Every day sitting
Lights out
Sipping white wine in a tea cup - awaiting a knock

The slow creak of her door opens
Opens ever so slightly, yet she sees a tall shadow
She steps up, puts her cup down and sees someone

Candidly so,
I'm increased by you
Your love, presence and adoration

Have you came to me so
In beauty, trampled by ways
You can not live without me

Your woes do show
Am I yours - carefully written down
Unknown to you
I am

We've not formally met

We need to find out what's right and
Say goodbye to these lies and

Now the ground is beating
Inside my chest
Now the mountain beating inside me

I feel like an empty cage waiting and wishing - wanting
Kissing life away

Please don't say
I'll always remember the day when you walked away

Can't you see
Can't you be
The neurotic psychopath waiting for his ****
Waiting and wishing at least you're kissing the one beside you
I'm not beside you

Can't confide in you
Find you

Deep inside me......
I can never be who I'm daring to be

Can't you see I'm afraid
Enough with this game
I'm tired of being made
Part of your game

I'm wasting myself away to you

I walk between a beguiling trench
A glowing bridge, paraded with gowns
The other side must lead somewhere?

I look, ponder, plummet, down I gaze at..
The face of a girl unfocused
Drowning my mind out
My reflection from above,
Looks at the Wanderer

Beneath the lowly stars hangs my hairs
The crescent moon wanes
Guiling my innocent feet, to walk my wonder - the spirit captures my soul
What I ponder is a creature, staring at me by the bridges' edge

Holding a flaming lantern - taking my hand
Cloaking my dreams in budded flowers
The creature stirred my peeping mind...
I begin to see my maiden's gown fretting, distressing with the wind
The creature of the ghostly figure greets me graciously

I step upon a grave lair
A burrow lays underneath
I sigh, I'm listening to my hand maiden's grief
Must you show me?
Take charge of me?

I'm lost
In unknown territory - casting dark spells and chants in foreign languages - I run

Casting my arms around a vagueness
I familiarize with a homely scent
A green pasture, guiding me

My beguiling bridge doesn't guide me
It leads me
I must take the budded flowers in my pocket
I blow out the lantern flame
I will lead

There's no reason or rime
My time has not come
Years and fears
Seasons of pitch black

My love Destitute with delusions
Damaged with deranged solutions
My mind painfully persistent
On being unloved

The creeks of my haunted mansion
Bleed without a purpose
Skeletons worship the past
Bones dance around unrequited desires

I dine with golden lambs
And taste the sheep in my hand
My teeth burning through the wet flesh
Holding dainty my ideals

My fainted veil is close to tearing
My pain inst aware of the glass wall between our truth
My mirage sickly - marred with battle wounds
My dynamite left uncapped
The memories soaked in blue
Mines hidden, ticking bombs blew in my face

I'm dancing around the bones of my dreams

Your book hides its head
Thinks below
Our gaze waits for you
Beginning, the show

Writing My arms in black and blue
Message from lily pad hearts
The start, of a melody
The end of a symphony
See. The glow, the permanent
Hidden code
Showed, what I feel in hieroglyphics
My love will not show
Will not breathe, stand close, or far
Below, ago, you may know
My love can not show

By birth we are ...
Broken into two, one side to touch the sky
One side,
Tangled, and entrenched with layered roots - lineage hissing 'quiet' 'quiet girl'
Our legs Imposed to stay bounded, rooted

A wall continuum, changing of colors
Shapes, Names, Stories, Only the world shakes harder....
Centuries of walls slashing, but the spectators chuckle at the caged song bird
Waiting for its tune. Plucking the feathers?!

Oh, When will
Our names will be filled with love?
When was the Rose unafraid to share it's scent?
Beauty, love, asking for nothing!

But what lies beneath and above
The roots and the sky.
Stuck in between, but bound by shackles of beneath....
If leaving, alone, this woman - Will be rendered hopeless?
Unhappy, unfulfilled, without meaning or purpose.

More, much more - you hold half the sky so touch it - bare handed

Morning dusk weakens me
Holds me
The grandfather clock ticks
The stained cabinets sit idly
The sprinkles of dust laying
Reminding me of last night

A wish kept beneath the stairs
Was there
Granite and stone freeze
My feet walk upon a frozen wish
Locked, quietly breathing
Carrying me to where I am now

Standing alone, surrounded
Outside a gas lamp - a flickering essence of mystery
A path.

Where it leads.
You choose not to know.
Rather walking inside
A step taken, nothing more
Inside - trapped, tied, tangled, knotted
Names you do not know
Faces glance
You change your name

Masquerade your personality with falsehoods
Shimmy in your dress
Chandeliers quiver to the gowns
Unkind fellows breathe to close
Gracing yourself
Caged with rules
Grappling with tradition
Patronized, condescending, and patted
Played with, passed, and mopped
A chess piece, a card
Your house of cards collapse

The glitter is gleaming in shades of red
Brown, green, and blue
Hiding from our shadows
Dancing in the glitter
Parading around the attraction of light
But masked our identity... With strands of gold

Gold plastered, masked, and molded on our face
Contemporary gold,
Will not ease the pain
The shadows envelopes your heartbeat
Stretching close to the ambilical chord to the light

Snap!
Every dream fades
All falls into deep darkness
Painful, deep shadows
Your face grusomely scalped
Scarred, scorched, with fear
The truth, rotted, fermented
All that rests is your masquerade gown, but now the moths got to it

Alone, when you are always surrounded

Bodies of celestial beings
Beaming inside brimming with glistening specks close enough to touch but far enough to gaze
A whisper touches your arms
It pecks, breathes, creeps on the crook of your neck

She's the whisper of every wind
Every few drop
Sliding down your cheek
Held into a crystal
Hung against the illuminating sun
Rays spreading on a rainbow

It is the life you live
Dreams kept quiet
And thoughts beneath
If you speak are you silence
If you think are you talking
If you dream are you listening
Within and much without
A silence taken; it is all one
needs to rejuvenate

Transforming, changing, morphing, always cycling through life
Always thinking who we are and leaving what we once were
Knowing who we are
Forgetting who we are
Dreaming of our selves
Are we here?
Is this me?
Am I me, with you, where am I me?

Alone me
I find time to think with everything I have. I find that the waves will always look blue but they are always clear. Somethings will never change, but I know every night the stars get brighter.
I can't explain it, but every story, connection, formation, shines more light

I see my light beginning to shine.

A heartbeat
A soul of sparkling suns under a telescope
Breathing with life

Every glitter sparkles
Every breathe is carefully present
The notes placed on your fingers breathe
They live as you

A soul in the air lingers above you
Everyone lives around you and streams of genuis bounce in
Like a flock of birds
A dandelion in the wind
A shock
The breathe is lost in the strings

And as the bow drops and waves of presence shine upon you
The slow motions of drums and ease mellow
Your breathe was melodic like the sea
It held long enough
And it said
You are beautiful

A whisper of delight
Petals of softness
The cloth of beginning
The ribbon that ties the knot
Will become a beauty

A mother's touch heals the wound
And her mouth circles their hearts
A smile is a delicate stream that warmths the soul
A bud that is bursting
Will become kind

Their breathe touches the sky
Lights the stars and sparkles the water
A thorn will become if the soul is trenched with hatred
But he will learn that the soil is the most beautiful place to grow beauty and there it will be, the petals will fall
Hit the ground and leave behind what once was

The the ship of the past
The wonder of time
Has no care what is mine
To slip into hypnosis and play maritime dreams
Sailor at heart
Haven't sailed into snow
Fallen into the trenches
Where to next
Is a liking to mine

My body does not speak on its own
Is it fair, I can not say
It does not think, but I will say
It can feel, the passion

my dreams, do not dream
but my eyes seem
like a senseless pull is underneath them
i feel unwashed, unclean, but you said, 'dont worry my dear'

i listened my god
you listened by god
then you listened to intently

you tied my arms back and lured me in
this hole i dig, but only for you
my eyes can see you are my only reality

Thy past is your dream
your dream has not seen the night
Your dream will not draw its teeth
Your dream is a flash
And I will not pass by and let you ruin yourself.

What has become of this
Madness. Insane Rethinking. Dreaming
What you can not see is what you shouldn't
And what you do is your dreams desires.

In another dimension in a little glass I am screaming at you
Telling you to look the other way
See the other one
The sound of time is prohibiting me to speak

I can see you need me. I was you earlier
I am watching you and I am crying
Watching you let go of your grip
Turning the other cheek
And feeling afraid to speak up

I know the ending but not enough wind, rain or sun will change you
Im watching you waiting
Fantasizing, dreaming, and feeling
But not doing

The grip of temptation grabs you down
You make the wrong choice and with my view I cry
I am so frustrated because you were one click away

The natural forces  of earth will not weave this union
I am afraid my time is up
You now know what you must do
I am afraid I was to late

Emotional Emotional Wreck
There is nothing that will turn your brain off and on like a dream wiped away
Your fantasies were potent
Not potent enough to speak your thoughts
Not thick enough to grasp the day and shake it in your hands

Messy Messy Head
A rocking chair could do less damage
A roller coaster of energy
Negativity plummeting in your hands
Left with a sigh of relief, yet regret

Burnt Burnt Face
Hot with sour emotions pouring into your veins as a very reminder of your loss
Your regrets
Your pain
Your mistakes

Started in your head
Will not end in your Head
It will end in your heart

Written in memories and talked about in my mind
there is nothing worse than living with regret
At least you can learn from your mistakes.

Nightfall in this hellish warehouse
The burrowing hen stuffs its face in hay
the stallion snuffs at the pole
the branches break as the gliding door opens
within this transition of a crows flight and its landing
you feel the breathe of the mist capture your hand like a cloak
your bundle of midnight dew collecting at your throat
Your feel as though the barn animals and the horses do not feel your pain
they can only soothe it.

Take one
I'm shuttering

Take two
It is really cold outside

Take three
This is to much to take

Take four
**** it

Take five
What if I'm making a mistake

Take six
At least I won't get a tattoo

Take seven
At tattoo parlor

Take eight
Thinks When can I kiss you

Take nine
I'm afraid

Take ten
I don't want to be touched

Take eleven
Holds own hand

Take eleven 1/2
Runs away

Take eleven 3/4
Sits alone, contemplates

Take eleven 5/6
Falls on mattress

Take twelve
holds up mirror

Take thirteen..... blows out candles

Her golden hair, her eyes were wide and her ears were open
I'm going to tell you she was a beauty
A magnificient vacation from your walls of pressure and hatred
A nice getaway in your moments of need

But only when you saw that your needs needed to be met. You thought to say hello, and stop by for a while.
She was still listening with her ears open, eyes wider, legs apart when she sat, and hair golden as the sun.
Only when she wasnt looking you looked for another vacation in an abandoned warehouse where you could easily store away the evidence.

Her hair was always in her face, but after you learned the shape of her hand, you painted it along side your hip, as she swayed back and forth she started to see the  smoke in your eyes.
Her eyes squinted, her hair was a little bit frizzy, and her body was stiffer.
She smelt a different vacation on his back.
She started to feel his hand slide down her - she obliged as she turned her cheek to the wall

Days turned into storms their little island was beginning to sink
She was Circulating, desperately trying to decode him - but she felt the concrete thicken her stance.
The mirror yelled at her thighs and she started to cut her plates in half
The mirror yelled at her hair so she dyed it in black
The mirror yelled at her eyes so she drenched them in black

The next morning her nightmere wasnt gone she saw him and he saw her
He was confused but she was more so.
He looked at her, without a single word pushed her in his car
He legs were so  locked together he had to get a wrench to pry them open, her eyes lifeless, her hair fried  with chemicals - with this gaunt, lifeless, hallow expression she felt numb to the bone, but be was in paradise.

The prickles were stabs to her, his body was suffocating hers - she was paralyzed. He was controling everything he was shocking her body.
"Get off!" "Stop please Stop!" She screamed for mercy and with every gulp,  fear  surged through her body. His paradise was transforming into a tornado - he tried to lock her away in the basement. He put her hands over her mouth "Shhhh keep quiet, just let the storm blow over."

She could feel his pulse, aggression was what the smoke was made out of.

He contained her
Silenced Her
And after he broke through, and completed

She started to weep, and he fell on top of her.

When she woke up, she got out of the car, walked to the ocean
She saw a tiny little island
Closed her eyes
Dove in, and forever there may she stay.

There is nothing I can say
But when I say it
Listen

Thy wakened dream fleets into nostalgia
It beckons one taste for love and sorrow
Then It bathes in distance and doubt
My dream my love, is not in love
With the dream I fell asleep to.

With a thick branch around my waist
I must not be allowed to complain
I want the warmth within my feet
As you sway and fall back and forth
I'm desperately climbing my way up
It is a large feat, but I can see that my eyes do not stop at the top
They stop at the sky

Running from this life

She was the kindest friend I ever had,
But one I wouldn't say to much about
We'd see eachother on occasion, but she never pushed me
I never felt like she was an evasion to my space
To my crazy little thoughts

Instead she was the soil to my growth
The seed of my confidence
My flower blooming, bursting with colors
My feet firmly planted
I walked with pride
My eyes looked at the stars,  For once I felt assured in my stride

Some nights we stayed up late, our pillows stacking into forts
My eyes twirled like a plane on a rocket
And In my room We danced all night, laughed until dawn
My stomach would clench in pain from laughing
My eyes watered, and my heart was fluttering with glee
I felt whole around her like she sewed a missing part to me

We Shared our darkest secrets for long
My blood sistes, Nothing could every feel wrong
I felt so close to home I could cry, and I did

I told her my somber life story
The trauma, the pain - she held my hand
Before long, I told her my insecurities.
Despising the shape, colors, and texture of my body
I looked at her and held my waist,
I glared at her in disgust, twirling the fat, ripping off my skin
I was screaming in her face

Then I curled into a bundle, ashamed.
She cupped her hands under my chin, and said," I love the way you are, please don't ever change."

Reconciled, I went to hug her to only bring her nearer
Oddly, She didn't hug back because she was nothing but a mirror

Hello, My name is Nym
I'm not sorry for what I have done
I'm not afraid for what I have done
It is who I am
I shall not fade away in your searing presence
For I shall be the beam of light
When your hope has been nothing but vanished

I'm not a monk
I'm not a pastor
I don't call myself the savior
My name does not rhyme with self righteous behavior
But I try, Oh I try to be good

Decent in this world, but my palm stretches itself thin
Trying to collect all the pain and hatred in this world
In doing so I receive permanent scars.
I can not face the bars of this life
This life I desperately want to come home to

I will try oh, I will try to save you all
I may be foolish, hungry, and to idealistic, but for me this room seems white
I may be standing on a land mine, or a gold mine.
Each microcosm I pass I want their microcosm to explode with
Euphoria, Awakening, Enlightenment, and Healing when we meet

These will not be my last words that I speak
These are not the last things I am thinking
But in my heart you will see better days
And I will see oh, I will see you again