what we had
you broke me
and pointed parts
might shatter me
a single sentence
could hurt me for days
a single name
could tear me for a couple nights
— words are knives
i’m a glass
threat me to the edge
and i’ll crash
and now that cold, heavy blanket i've been trapped under for so long,
gets a little bit lighter, and i can finally feel the sun
it hasn't always been this light, mind you
i just haven't always been this strong
We all are new.
We all are missing.
We lost the pieces that used to define us so well.
We lost ourselves over somethings that never really felt so real.
We run towards temporary happiness,
We get hurt and instead of healing we keep the hurt as a souvenir of the experience.
We hate changes, we live in our nutshell.
Friends and loyalty lost its meaning in our life long ago.
We drag ourselves from one day to another.
We aren't living...are we?
We want change but we don't want to change.
We want to live but we don't know how to.
We are stuck.
yeah,i was feeling like hell
on the path of my confused mind.
I wanted to scream my whole heart out
but clenched my fists try not to do,
as i was not permitted.
and that feels like i was burning inside,
which was enough to frightened me
as I'd nobody by my side.
My grey eyes were fiery ,
the apprehension which i wanna share,
but now i am apprised of these things
that no one is gonna care.
After days months and years of chaos and
people stabbed me for no good reason.
I'd somehow managed to find a way to be happy
because i realized no one will come,
riding on black horse to save me or take my all worries.
I have to save myself, little by little, day by day
and I’m learning to breathe deep through it ,
and keep walking with a high head
and plastered a smile on my lips.
I am afraid of lots of things
But mostly of myself
Because I love
And I fall
And I hit the ground
I’m not sure I can get up this time
Her little eyes peered at me
Questioning the scars marring my knee
I bit back every excuse and lie
That in the past had always let me by
Instead, I pulled her up a chair
Sat her near and left nothing to spare.
"These scars and scabs you question
Are where I learned a valuable lesson.
Worth is something I always sought,
For me, It consumed my every thought.
I searched far and wide, close and near
But in me worth would not appear.
I gave the decision to the world to make
But in my favor I had no stake
I was worthless, disgusting, your shoe ****
And that is where the cutting begun
Days to weeks to months to years
I'd cut away all my woe's and fears
As the drains filled with red
For worth, the the broken in me always plead.
Until it didn't anymore
I took back the extra I'd put in the world,
And in me strength and hope unfurled
Power was back again with me
And since that day I've been scar free."
i stay up late
having conversations with the walls
and screaming your name
at the mirror
what if i can’t get up today?
i have sleep paralysis
from overthinking our conversations
from last week
what if i don’t want to fight?
the monsters under my bed
have pulled out my memory box
and have thrown it around my room
for their own amusement
what if the sun doesn’t shine today?
it’s only monday
you still have the rest of the week
take it easy, you’ll be okay
sometimes isolation can be the best therapy there is
one day all of my friends will start
having their own kids
living in their own house.
their wives prepared the breakfast
their husbands pay the bills
fetch kids from school
but I will still be here
to summon you back
how I wish I will be able
to be happy
without your kiss.
But I don't want that to happen