i never saw you shed
a single salty tear.
id weep at the thought of loss
but even as it threatened
you were stone.
i hope that you are crying
so i know that it was real
the only thing i want to see
is see you ******* feel.

*(r.e.)

when i look into your eyes,
i can see the big bang.
i can see stars being born
and the world’s first sounds
fill my ears
supernovas reflect from your
eyes and black holes
pull me into your arms
there is no escape from my
feelings for you

*(r.e.)

why are you so sad,
my love,
i’m always here for you
whether it’s dogs that seethe
or babies that teeth
i’m right here next to you.
i’ve walked through a forest
in the middle of the night
because i was going
to fight your fright.
but you got scared,
you ran away.
there was nothing i could say.
you left long ago,
a husk left with me,
i was left among the trees.

*(r.e.)

i would walk across broken glass
to hold you in my arms.
i would throw away my future
just to live with you in a box in
seattle if we could only laugh at the rain.
i have loved you from the first day of my life
because i have never lived before i met you.
i love you with every speck
of oxygen floating around in my lungs.
with every tick tock of the
small hand of the clock
my love grows fonder.
i’m not sure how you feel now
but i’ve never loved you more
and i’ve never been more afraid
and i’ve never felt such euphoria
when around one boy.
one tall troubled soul some how
made me feel more at home than i felt in my room.
i have loved him from the first day of my life
because i had never once lived before i met him.

*(r.e.)

she looks in the mirror and
she disgusts herself
she digs her own grave
and she puts herself out
she puts up a story and
paints her own mask
she sits and wonders how
she got so off track
she was on her way
all the way to the top
now she can’t do anything
but beg herself to stop
she sits all alone
in a room she painted black
she cried for independence
but she’s always brought back
she can’t be on her own
and she can’t be by herself
she sits on her knees
and contemplates hell
we all make our own
and she creates the worst
because she sits on her own
and pushes it down her own throat

*(r.e.)

i heard you were doing acid this weekend
burning holes in your brain.
were you trying to burn away the pain?
do you hurt like i do?
it’s hard to let you go because
you’ve burned a hole in my brain, too.
i still smell you when i hear your name.
my nostrils burn like my eyes.

my parents asked me if i meant it
when i said goodbye this time.
i said i did. today, anyway.
i might change my mind if
you come back home because
your hand is where my hand belongs.
you’re everything i hate.

i wasn’t planning to fall this hard
but i guess you warned me.
i didn’t cry until i let my mind
remember why i cried last time.
i’m scared.

*(r.e.)

today i ate way too much
and kissed a boy i loved
and chased some boys i don’t.
isn’t that just me?
you are the proton and
i am the neutron
i am swirling down quickly
to a new and unknown place
but i’ve been here before
somehow in another time
or space.
i know i’ll just convince myself
i’ve been lying this whole time
i pick petals off a daisy
“do i love him?”
“do i not?”
it feels like i’m lying
but i’m compelled to say these things
i’m not sure what i want
or how this will end
either way you were a
god send
says the atheist in bed
i’m terrified
i’m petrified
i’m laying on my back
writing a poem that makes no sense
i think we’re all just
going mad