I am lockbox full of mystery
I embrace that every second

People come, inviting themselves in
Fumbling with their key ring
Ever so set to open me up.

People go, out the door with harsh words
Offended that I dared to guard myself
Always so angry in the end.

I want to spill out, to share my words
I want to fill your fantasies with mine

But the time it takes, is not for everyone
Don't go steal my secrets and end up on the run

One day I'll return,
From the mountains and the hills
From the sadness and the pain

One day you'll see me
Past the running rivers and aching valleys
Past the tiring insanity and quiet rage

One day, yes, one day
I'll see through this geographic nightmare
I'll see through this never ending dream

One day I'll be
The setting sun to which all backs are turned
The rising moon who dances in the night

One day the facade will fade
Masks of change will begin to crumble
Masks of change will begin to forge

One day, soon, ahh I feel it
Magic words will find these lips
Magic words will fill these pages

One day, one day, waiting on that one day
Because I feel this time thats fading
Because I feel this time is changing

One Thousand burning suns rain down from the heavens
To bring my worthlessness to light.
On a dying world with setting skies
This mere fragment of existence
Prepares for its demise

Stars break dusk
Swooning, empty tears
Shed in remembrance of time

Hands wither into the broken hour glass
Stolen from Death, with her sinister kiss

The bellows are ringing, the ancient apparatus sings
The bellows are ringing, and it is time to go home.

She pours her honey words down my throat.
It takes but moments to become drunk on her artful prose.
And the lavender fills my spirits
As she buries her head in my heavy chest

Yet, you'd dare say she's sleeping with stolen dreams.
That it should be your words which intoxicate me,
That your perfume should give me life as you lay your soul into me.

And maybe for a moment, some time ago it was your words,
Which set my soul aflame.
But on came the night where you made your great escape.

It was I who was but a passing fancy,
with kind words and a gentle heart.
Was it not also your tongue
Which lashed it poison onto my breast.

She is fluid, calm and formless.
As the fire passes and I call to be healed.
It is not your words, but hers, which soothe.
So on your bitter thrown of curses, do not dare
Say that she sleeps with stolen dreams
For it was her words which rescued me
And it is her pen, which will write away this pain.

Skyward gaze, flash floods
Rain comes hammering down
Third eye closes, defenses rise
Not from an enlightened truth
But from the mutilation of war
Waters rush, beneath silent footsteps
A thunderstruck race to the end.

I'm falling apart,
I'm living a lie
I'm dancing with a crooked smile
Feel the beat, taste the high
Drink your poison, embrace the night

Soft are your lips, buried in my chest
Fingers in your hair, tears break silence

We laugh, we cry, I tell you I'm dying
To confess my madness, or was it sadness

A typhoon, a thunderstorm, all hell breaks loose
I let go, I fall into a rude little slumber

Tired eyes flutter, night creeps into day
Ready to serve my desires once more

Reason has returned; such a feat!
Due to the great philospher's tome.
Ever violent nature now, sedated.
What magic, of wise words & rthymes.

To understand, this is man's mortal sin.
Yet here, this draught of knowledge rings.
Archaic tongues riddle at the gait.
Bending words to dance to the summoners's song

The taste of vitality on curled lips, is the elixir of life.
Transformation ethereal in lifted spirits from common ground to sacred plains.
Open the book of spellbound fear, recite, repeat be freed.

I drink deep from the reservoirs beneath her tulips
Soft is my sweet demise,
As I follow her eyes
To the cherry blossoms,
And that babbling brooks
Reassuring me, that I'm far away home.

I smile, with sun kissed cheeks
For when the music drifts away like distance
The tenderness of words on my ears
Rewrite all of this pain into poetry

Staring into the unwavering flame on the wick
Of a freshly lit candle, I nearly had a heart attack

Time too, decided to pause, the world grew quiet
And I grew sick in this endless moment.

Why was I so afraid to be stuck in one place,
All because of an unhealthy love for that glow

At the break, she danced across my eyes like
Orange brushtrokes on the setting sun of a canvas.

My heartbeat returns to normal, I breathe in
Letting all my fears burn away into ash.

Temptation need not be confused with conviction.
Of course I feel the pull of wicked ways,
But the lure is not my Oddessey.
I could write a thousand sins,
Repent, inevitably repeat, and lie
I am ruled by a crooked rage
A poisoned oak in a forgotten wood
Rotting, to the grave I wear this facade.

Lightning.
Crack.
Thunder.
I split.
Straight down.
Gazing up. I see.
The 4th Horseman.
Standing split, where I stood.
I see. The Beast. Proliferating in my absence.
The Horseman, crooked smile and evil gaze.
The Beast a chaotic shade of nightmares.
I lay, dying. Watching. What I refused to be.
I, existing in them. But now split.
I feel their darkness. I feel the burn.
They walk over to me. Throwing me aside.
They cackle in a blood curdling scream.
We exchange looks.
We embrace the end.

She's inbetween the tattered cloak of clouds
On her pedastool, breaking necks on high
Full, with piercing white gaze she calls to me
The night sky bends, her light is will
As the smokey valleys of obscurities
Evaporate into thin memories of yesterday
Silent now, penciling away her secrets.

The Madness of blended reality, is confidently marching through my mind.
I could not resist the sweet sound of this haunting Muse.
She sang her dismal songs, which shook me something fierce.
Astounding words which resonate feelings I've never mustered.

Now comes the crazy, the loud bellowing of endless chords.
I'm running, clasping my ears ever so tightly, to no avail
The chantey is banging in the walls of sanity, louder and louder.
Tossing and turning, wide eyed and insane, her song goes on.

Even in my dreams, which have become their own nightmares, sing.
I cannot escape this tune, marching to the gates of some type of truth.
What am I missing, and shall silence elude me in my descent of ill will.
I roll back my eyes, to see the darkness play with such fever.

Hopeless, I give in, I let it play, over and over and over again.
I allow this cursed song to grace this shameful and unforgivable self.
For a moment, I try to believe it will end, knowing full well, its a lie.
Now, repeating with ominous terror, she sings louder, I began to crack.

Things have changed,
And I know I shouldn't.
But it's already too late
My hopes, caught the tide.

What difference does it make,
Across the endless sea between.
Then there is time, which comes,
Take it as you see fit, and heal.

I'll hoist this flag, tattered and all,
Singing a chanty of foolish dreams.
Be well, think of me, as I was or am,
Into the dark waters, I return..

I wanted to go home, it felt like it had been ages
Having been on the road for so long.
But we stopped, because they insisted.
Two nameless faces within this dream.
"Let's get out, stretch our legs."
Begrudgingly I complied, approaching a bridge.
Down below a shimmering river of blue,
Ran silently along the banks we traversed.

This is the point where one thing, turns into another.
As I sifted through the steps and boulders beneath,
The world which was living around me, began to change.
Walls of high water rose, as I descended farther down.
And the two, who so boldly encouraged this adventure,
Left me alone to this vast maze of sunken wonder.

Exploring this labyrinth, brought me to a city
Fallen to the depths, hidden through dreams and fate
Along the perimeter as if bombarded stood a broken wall
It too, could not withstand the pressure of misfortune
Finding myself, at the bastion of this watery grave
I knocked on the swollen door, to find myself drowning
All the walls began to fall, as the river started to overtake me.
In a flash, gasping for air, I washed up on the quiet banks
With the Sunken City, ever existing in the memories of a dream.

The bloom of creativity seems to be,
Wilting in the crimson soaked fields

Violent ammunition is seldom fruitful,
But I've been betting on the yield.

Written words unravel spools of knotted truth
Unbound, I succumb to the overflow of thought
This pen, a fury of violent strokes, lashing lies
Waist deep in the tide of self reflection's revelation

I hold on, desperately, to the obelisk of false odysseys  
Watching words overturn the bastions of ignorance
Caught up, in the undertow, I begin to drown in the sea
Swallowing this sullen reality as I gasp, hopelessly for fallacies

I couldn't count the times
"I love you" rolled off my tongue
In a bold and wicked lie

The mountains of regret
Are forged with the same deciet
Because in Truth I hate you.

I could tell you a thousand times
But you are so **** foolish
You fail to see the only truth.

I'll play ball, this tired game
With showered materials gifts
In return for a failed fable

I rarely hear the Trumpets now
The singing bellows of quelling sound
Which tame the Beast, I fear inside
His hypnotic trance, is a Demon's cry

I cannot see the Painter's wrath
Brushstrokes raging down forbidden path
Long forgotten, but forever known
His sinister smile breaks day when shown

I know not the Cinder's smell
The Kindling Madness of an ancient spell
Ash inhaled of perfect ruin,
His incantation of evil is brewing

I dare not taste the Wicked's Cuisine
Dark nectars twist the tongue of Fiends
Bellies full of Nightmare's tears
His fruition comes through pain and jeers

I reach to touch the Devil's Hand
Three of a kind and a master plan
To call the bluff or submit and fold
His reign begins, free will already sold

There will be a time when you need me,
But I'll already be gone.

Flesh may be a measure of mortality,
However these words cut deep.

They carve themselves into infinity,
Scribing the rise, ****** and fall.

Each piece is a violent declaration,
Against the tides of hate.

While I could not wade in the water,
The storm of truth rains down.

Falling victim to fate and telling times,
All exits are crafted by these hands.

So tell me doc
How much time have I got
Before this world overtakes me

I'm asking, I'm shaking
Cause I feel my mind breaking
Lock me up, I'll swallow the pills

But please doc
Throw away the key, overdose me
Ill tell you, these demons won't leave

If I was a tree.
Which stood tall.
A monument to life.
Strong, gentle, and kind.
Wind would gently kiss my leaves.

I would be a prison.
A desolate grove of death.
Roots drunk with toxicity.
Trunk twisted, etched in profanity.
Just barren branches of thorns.

I remember the telling signs, of the forsaken path I carved for myself at such a young age, hopelessly lost.

The night terrors with bed wetting, a curiousity for the pain of others, and an undying love of flames.

Triads are sacred, often depicting tales of both good and evil, where I fall somewhere broken in between.

I drank till my belly was full, of that sweet gasoline, a hair trigger away from immolation.

See fire was soothing, watching it all burn was the beginning of my perfect crooked world.

Burning bridges, burning friends, burning anything for no real reason other than a crooked smile.

This wildfire of a tortured soul was doomed the moment I met the truth.

Only existing in the ashes, that evil had given the breathe of life.

I saw them stare, right through me, never knowing what I was.

Hating them for it, for this alienation, I will always remember.

But this is but a fragment, of a fractured soul.

Each broken shard screeching in the night for control.

I have never known peace, just the madness.

We do not even recognize ourselves anymore.

Just faceless creatures, struggling  for singularity.

We bow to our king.

His fiendish broken crown.

Flashing his fangs.

He laughs.

Armageddon.

This inferno.
This rage.

I want to light this world up.
I want to watch this world burn.

I'm a walking wildfire.
I'm a walking disaster.

Turn your head, look away.
But each step taken leaves a blaze.

Go on get, there's no saviors here.
Just fire, and end times, sincerest cheers.

Inhale dark embers of a long forgotten flame.
Exhale black death, be free of all desires.

As the fate of the world grows, darker by the hour.
I must ask myself.

Are the men, whom stood by me in times of peace
Allies in a time of War.

Is Ignorance their New Master, which robs a free thought.

Will they oppose me, during each battle, as Freedom gasp for air.

How much longer can I pretend, that these are good people, with evil thoughts.

I'm over this delusion that they truly care, as I'm one in millions.

A sea of suffering for which they don't cast me with the lot.

But all the while I see, people like me, caught in the raging tide of injustice.

I must cut the line, join chorus of dismay, and rebel and rebel and rebel.

No man can claim to care for me, while brothers and sisters painted just the same are afterthoughts.

For I am, as I always will be, an extension of all people lashed with Death's whip of inequality.

I wash my demons down with the local brews

Looking out the window panes of dreary nights and days of rain.

A guy and his guitar sing soft beats and sets the evening mood.

His fingers strum the delicate strings, as the music calls to me.

The second round comes and I'm in despair,

As the words that flow leave me gasping for air

The truth in a strangers tune, run down into each stroke of my pen

Here I go again, setting the nightmares free.

Dripping sweat, from the days slaving away
Carving, the blood and frustration into a mask

Each chip, which shaves and thins, is paid in flesh
This facade can capture many faces, or no face at all

But when placed upon the brow, the craftsman disappears
For in this tribute to false faces, the true being surfaces

I have never known myself, until I dawned this mask
I breathe air which has never been my own, I am alive.

Crimson drew down his arm tracing the serrated skin which once stitched me together.

When I left him, as a boy, I cursed him. Much as I do now. Hate heavy, black blood released.

The anger of the child was misread, miscalculated. How could they know? That I, insidiously twisted, corrupted his blight less soul.

From my prison I heard his cries, sweet screams saturated the silence as he trembled.

Frozen, the blade was unable to pierce his flesh, so I pushed him, and he carved away

The shackles broken, I returned to the mantle of deceit and buried him with the others, voices fragmenting into the night.

I always loved my grandmother
As most young boys do
She held me tight
Singing in her terrible voice
Sharing her world with me
I still recall peeling fresh apples
As we mixed and mashed for pie

When age overcame her,
When her body betrayed her,
When I was not there
When wounds are eternally fresh

Age came for me too,
With it, a swell of dark secrets
Ones of devils, so close to home
I wondered, what person could dwell
With family, in a home, here in hell
A grandafather I never knew, forked tongue
And perversions in the brain
His grave forgotten, while his scars remained

Perhaps she did the best she could
Turning a blind eye against a fiend
But as closed doors reveal themselves
A twisting vine of hate creeps and crawls
Sinking its roots in memories skewed
In rose colored glasses, as I unshaken gaze
Into the endless ripples of repercussions

This twisted spine collapsed down on the world with vengence.

Its crooked maw could not decipher the slithering tongues of monolithic men.

I tore away at my flesh until she returned, beaded eyes white hot with fiendish intentions.

Sparatic jestures have been no strangers here, at this abode we endure, witnessing the violence.

Physical exertion, that exhaustive feeling, pushing this broken body to its limits.

This is true freedom, for a moment all of the clutter unifies to defy annihilation

The whirlwinds of thought, ignite into a ferocious storm of gestalt intellect, racing to the end

Alas, the only goal on this horizon is a graveyard of   discarded memories, each step further until, all is forgotten

People cheat for many different reasons
But almost none of them involve you

Being enough is not a factor
Listing the things that could be done
Differently is a waste of precious time
Because it truly wasn't you, it was them

Some do it for power, some do it for control
Some do it in loneliness, some do it in emptiness

Whatever the reason, remember it isn't you.
It is a mental compulsion, a temptation
That some otherwise extraordinary people
Fail to overcome, inhibit or control.

This isn't a justification, nor is this an excuse
I just want you to know these things
Are not because of you.

She is my song
That sweet melody
Always ringing between my ears
I haven't the fantiest clue
Of the words that her smile sings

She is the true verse
Sending shivers down my spine
With honesty dancing as I'm mesmerised

She is the harmonic tune
Syncompating heartbeats to my best days
Hopscotch run around, I embrace the bliss

She is the rainy day playlist
Overwhelmed and under fire
Sit back, relax, listen, I've got my fix

Just Words....
Just Words... They Say
They say... Just Words

These Jackals and their cackles
These Hyenas and their chortles

These words which slay with every key stroke
These words which vilify, contorting all perception
These words which stalk with dangerous fear

These words which give voice to genocide
These words which command believers
These words which personify society

These words never have been just words
Just excuses
Just reasons
Just barriers

Justifying falsehoods that words are just words, with no consequences.

Just words which are just words to you,
Just words which are a death sentence for me.

I tire of this Patriarchy
The footpaths, The Guidelines
The strict Dogma, The misogynistic guise

I tire of these Sins
The evil manipulation, The father of my fathers
The pleasure of power, The hearts swollen with hate

I tire of this Psychological Harem
The predestination, The pain of letting things go
The image staring back at me, The toxic masculinity

The right side of my face is charred
Black scars replaced the vision I once obtained
Following down the burned flesh
Reveals the remains of what was once my arm
The mutilation leaving me half of what I was
Phantom limbs shatter reflections in my wake
As a rejection and refusal to see what I've become
This dark necropolis having taken me hostage
Peeling away my madness, years at a time
I've forgotten, why this Nightmare fights to be real
While this sickness walks with me, whispering.

Calls for Patriotism,
Does not equal a compromise.
Complaining about divisiveness
Requesting unity, and patience
Is the luxury of the majority.

To ask such things, emulates ignorance
Offering togetherness, as blind eyes fall
On bodies littered in streets, or behind bars
It is to insist to further a cause of opposition
Allowing complacency to enslave and oppress

I was held hostage
By a white man in uniform
Wasn't a policeman, private security
He wore his gun on his belt, seemed nice
Approaches me in the night
Approaches me who is minding my own
He's talking to me, but I have no where to go
I can't run, I can't leave, I'm stuck
He's talking to me, about life
Talking about how he hates paying taxes
Talking about how he works for his own
His words are acid, an ignorant eruption
I have to bare this, I can't risk it
I do not dare. I do not dare risk it.
To tell this man to leave, this white man
With a gun, in uniform, patroling
Maintaining the peace.
My heart is racing, I want to escape
But I'm his hostage, socially bound
To the mercy of this white man and his gun.

She was dying
I was sent away
She died
I returned

If you can't beat them, join them.
That system that beats you down
Pick a side, have a good ride
Finish it to the end.

Hasn't worked out too well.
What to do? What to do?

If you can't beat them, become them.
That power of the opressor
Use it, abuse it, live large
Crack that whip.

Hasn't worked out to well.
What to do? What to do?

If you can't beat them, change them.
Sweet knowledge and empathy
Change a heart, make a friend
Seek out humanity.

Hasn't worked out to well.
What to do? What to do?

The fires have razed the city
Pitchforks, picketers and angry mobs
Marching through rubble, the dust hasn't settled

The whispers ask so many questions
How? Why? What?
But this storm is done talking.
They shouted from the bottoms of hell
They shouted as every ear turned deaf
Words of peace, words of want, words of need
This fiery inferno is words of the unheard
The violent night of the voiceless has begun

The fires have razed the city
Pitchforks, picketers and angry mobs
Marching through rubble, the dust hasn't settled

In the space between madness
I wait. Patiently.
For the cold, univiting kiss.

Happiness
Measured from cheek to cheek
One end of my crooked smile to the other
A boisterous intoxicating laugh
A contagious obnoxious laugh
Measured, until it fades away

No laughing these days
No rosey red cheeks
No holding back

Happiness has been crumbled up
Thrown away, tossed aside, spit on
Grinded up, thrown in the muck,
Forgotten, abused, and abandoned

Anger. Honesty. Ambition.

Here they come with the swell
Casting themselves in dangerous waters
The only refuge for the drowning sea of faces

Sadness.
Measured from week to week
One end human suffering to the other
A vicious monopoly of hate
A sickening wildfire of inequality
Measured, until the end of days.

To my white allies

These messages

Are not for you

I see you struggling too

These white men are sick
These white men are ill

Someone call the doctor!

Control. Control. Control.

I said hey man stop oppressing me
They said hey boy. we make the rules

She said hey man, stop legislating my body
They said hey girl, it's God's will.

He said hey man, I'm just making ends meat
They said hey boy, get that *** to work

I said hey man, your profits are from misery
They said hey boy, if you don't like it leave

She said hey man, I just want fair wage
They said hey girl, its a man's world

He said hey man, you stole this land
They said they boy, my rifle says otherwise

Someone call the doctor!

These white men are sick
These white men are ill

Control. Control. Control.

Do not be baited
Into the notion
That because
Things could be worse
That they are somehow better

Do not give into the idea
That we are somehow past
The mistakes of nations before us
We are always a moment away
From Ancient Rome, fickle and meek

Do not listen to such beliefs
That things will just get better
Hanging onto hope is a stagnant dream
True change is revolution
But they want monotony to be the game

Ay ma
I just don't get it
Always about them ma
They ain't never asked you huh,
Never asked you ma,
Never cared to see
What you had to tell us
About this white mans world
How we are afraid
They **** us ma,
They don't believe us,
Or they probably don't care
I saw my man get beat ma,
Right down the street
By the corner store
Had his hands up ma,
He was crying, afraid of dying
Ma, he was so scared
And if they don't **** us
Then they lock us ma,
For nothing, just like dad.
But they don't care ma,
Same old story.
They ain't never asked
They ain't never cared to see
Whats its been like for you and me.

Golden Gates of freedom
The apple of my eye
So delicious and fruitful
But this dream has gone rotten
With worms festering
In chained up wounds
Looking to the horizon
Answers inch slowly away
Yet, ash and bones, remain
Monuments to the forgotten

I've not lived a day, the same man
As the day before.

Nor do I live now, intending to be
Anything less than more.

I found a voice, for silent screams

They sang of yesterdays, prayed for todays
And died for tomorrows.

I found a voice, for silent screams

They sang of yesterdays, prayed for todays
And died for tomorrows.

Hush now, lay down to rest.
Haunt the Earth no more.
Your children, are my children
Your dreams, are my dreams

Sun rising, we March to Freedom

Oh my, am I humbled
Loving v. Virginia
History that is blood

Do you hear the pumping
Oh man, I feel it now
Riding on the winds of change