A few hold a wall in front of them. Pretending to be someone they are not. Trying to impress the world. Trying to impress themselves. We sometimes try too hard to impress that we forget what we are doing. True friends "may" see through farcades, true friends "will" love you for who you are.... without the pretending. We stick ourselves in this teenage mindset, thinking that we have to be perfect, flaws are a bad thing. Life has ended before it could begin.
We need to understand that facades, is not open, and dethrones our true nature. For one to love us we need to love yourselves first. ;)
"I am enough" She said to the mirror, Dull eyes gazing back Her reflection recreating regal expressions That coming so naturally before, now were cracked
"I am beautiful" She said, with silver tears Brimming in her eyes In the daytime she was Clepatra Aching for affirmation, filled with ***** lies
Standing in her own presence No lines so sweetly versed No role to be rehearsed Fists clenched, lips tightly pursed Oh beautiful tragedy! you lost your identity... the ache is stayed with the plunge of a blade breaching the chasm which once held your heart
There are words that can't reach me from here If you simply pluck them from there.
I need to know a person like you exists, not about what other people say, not about what you do in order to be like them, not like losing the one thing you can't have back in order to become higher than me, not about breaking yourself for others because you simply can't fix them.
Once in awhile, someone needs you to be you, and sometimes, I have to be me to be me.
Let someone know you can be yourself, and it will all be fine. And being fine, is simply alright.
Sometimes, you and someone else need to hear from each other with real hearts, not with a guarded mind.
I walk this Kiez A perfect balance of anger and grace I must be on my toes At every moment Scanning each face Adjusting response in lieu of what's said To hold space with intent Not wanting to expect the worse Encounters of violence But I prime my senses Prepare my reflexes To respond at a split So at this knifes edge My nerves sit Thus I Take the city at my pace Smile and walk these streets Always chin up Look the world in the eye And from this flow Square my shoulders Preside In this moment. I stand Exist and go forth Question not where I came from But still exhort from my feet A slow pace One after another I aim myself home Throw the compass asunder As I stalk and i prowl My body projecting a fierce front That I pray will get me to my door Untouched Unnoticed And unharmed Slide the key in the lock Feel resistance as tumblers align And allow me entry Finally To my home My safe space The weight of holding a balance between anger And grace falls away
I know... I know It's disjointed as **** But somehow nicely sums up my stream of consciousness as I stagger home
Perplexed. As I looked into his eyes, replaying the conversation in my mind...over and over again. Studying his mouth curvature and ****** expressions, change from confidence to bewilderment. As I confronted his most recent "story". Stumbling over words, not even remembering his own storyline, it all came to a head. It's all a fog. The last 11 months of my life. A tangled web of fulfillment..loss..love..pain..a seeming friendship..laughter..hurts..euphoria.. ..Lies..love making..confiding..trust..deceit.. half truths..embellished stories..frustrations.. Anxiety..joys..thrills..adventures..irritations..charm.. Dream making..intense loneliness. He built walls...constructed of flowers, love notes, thoughtful gifts, candle lit baths with rose petals and love songs...all in hopes to keep me within the realm of his safety lines. He lied to make me love him..I lied to myself into believing it was all real. When lies become your reality..nothing stands against it..not even..the Truth. Now I sit. Alone. In the center of the shambles of what we fabricated, fallen at my feet. Eyes opened. Accepting the reality. Weaving through the confusion. Hope in the unknown..the sun still continues to rise..hearts heal and Love still exists.