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Jan 3 · 99
Slip and Slide
Ruheen Jan 3
Calm but confused,
Does that make any sense?
Frantic delusion,
Should that make me tense?

Would you be worried
If you got lost,
In a forest of
Rattled thoughts?

I'm walking straight
But I've already fallen twice
This is me in life;
A slip and slide.
Yep. I feel more confident now.
Jan 1 · 141
Facade
Ruheen Jan 1
To instil fear into others, as a way to make them show you respect,
Is being afraid you will not be respected for who or what you really are.
Second poem of 2020. Already hating every second.
So yeah.
Jan 1 · 74
Here We Go Again
Ruheen Jan 1
I know it won't get much better,
But at least it can't any worse,
Right?
2020 everybody.
Dec 2019 · 330
Intentions
Ruheen Dec 2019
If the road to hell is paved with good intentions,
Then what's the point of having them?

It's not like bad intentions are going to get you
A free, one-way ticket to heaven.

We have to do good deeds,
But easier said than done.

Bad leads to hell, and so does good.
Which means, most humans, if not all,
Are ending up there.

Lucifer and his demon friends
Must be having one hell of a party.
A very crowded one, too.
I just had a thought. And then I played around with it. Came up with this.
Yes, I know it means we can't just have the intentions to do something good, we must act upon that intention. But if you did something wrong even while having good intentions, that shouldn't make you a bad person.
This whole heaven and hell system is incredibly discriminating.
Dec 2019 · 152
Bygones
Ruheen Dec 2019
Let bygones be bygones
But when the blood is on your hands
You win some
You lose some
And then it goes wrong

Let bygones be bygones
Forget it even happened
But memories
And feelings
Don't fade away so easily

Let bygones be bygones
But when it goes wrong
It's your weight to bear
You will lose it all
Because life isn't fair.
You can forgive, never forget. It's a constant loop in your head. A reminder, to never make that same mistake again.
Dec 2019 · 126
Perfect? No.
Ruheen Dec 2019
I took the time
To get it right
Can't afford mistakes
Can't afford to play the game
Gotta be perfect
Can't rid of this need
To be perfect
It's like this drug
Pumping through my blood
Cover it up
No bruises
All hidden
Excuses
It's like this drug
In my blood
This need
I can't get rid of
To be perfect
I tried my best
It's not worth it
But they want it
And I want it too
So I'll do it
I'll be perfect

NOT!
Hell no.
Do I want it? Who doesn't? But can I live without it? Hell yes.
Dec 2019 · 75
Stalker
Ruheen Dec 2019
I could tell you to back off
But I'd rather
Watch you chase me around
For a little longer
My pride, my ego, my arrogance
All want to be flattered and fed
And buttered
And I can just watch from my bed -
My bedroom door
Or window
Wrapped up in blankets
Too hard to ignore
Your jokes and your riddles
Your mistakes in the middle
It's like I'm laughing
At nothing
Even though I don't feel the same
I don't your need your help
Cause you don't get it
No ones get it
My self-esteem needed a boost
And you were the boost for a while
When I say I don't need anyone
I mean it, I don't just smile
And walk away
I want to walk away from your disturbing stares
You don't need to stay
And watch me glare
At the people around me
At my life and my mistakes,
At flaws and my imperfections
At my stupid cliches
That's it
I don't want to be a cliche
So stop chasing me
My pride can take it
I don't want to hear from you
I don't want to see you
I needed you once
And now I don't need you
Sometimes I just need me
Not someone who wants me dead
Sometimes I just need me
Not a stalker stuck in my head
I have two stalkers: one in my head, the other in real life.
I can't tell which one's creepier.
Dec 2019 · 201
Jinx!
Ruheen Dec 2019
I don't wanna laugh too much
'Cause I don't wanna
Jinx what I have now

I don't wanna cry too much
'Cause I don't wanna
Jinx what I'll get then

I don't wanna do too much
'Cause I don't wanna
Run when it all ends

I don't wanna jinx it
'Cause I'm scared
That I'll jinx it
Meh.
Nov 2019 · 675
Blood On My Lips
Ruheen Nov 2019
There is blood
Dripping from my lips
'Cause I bit my tongue too hard

I got a hit
And a miss
'Cause I got bad aim and I went too far

There is air
Leaving my lungs
'Cause I feel too much too fast

Now I can't laugh
For a month
'Cause I want my oxygen to last

There is blood dripping from my lips
And the drops fall like rain
Making patterns on the carpet

Let the blood fall from my lips
The air will come right after
And I don't care

Let it drip
We've all got to fall
And I think this is it.
You heard me. Rather you read me....nevermind.
Nov 2019 · 108
Say You Will Remember Me
Ruheen Nov 2019
Say you will remember me

When I run away and burn this town
When I turn away without a sound

Say you will remember me

They will burn without a fight
Because they don't care
It's not their fight

Say you will remember me

When I am caught and met by hate
I don't regret
They brought it upon themselves

Say you will remember me

For the fire, I lit
And the one I put out

So say you will remember me

When you all feel the burning pain
Of forgiveness in vain

Remember me

When you feel my pain.
Sometimes, we only hurt others because we want them to feel what we feel.
It's not our fault. It's not anyone's.
It's just the way we are.
Nov 2019 · 144
Blah Blah Blah
Ruheen Nov 2019
What I hear every day.
Not just around me,
But in my head too.
People need to shut up sometimes.
Nov 2019 · 112
Breakdown Or Breakthrough
Ruheen Nov 2019
One or the other,
I don't know.
I've stopped caring.
I have. Nothing really gets to me anymore.
Nov 2019 · 112
War
Ruheen Nov 2019
War
Did you want a battle?
I'm sorry,
I only do war.
It's more dangerous,
And a hell of a lot
Scarier.
...
Nov 2019 · 257
Patient Zero
Ruheen Nov 2019
They told me
Someone's gonna hold me
And I believed them
But no one came
I waited
I waited in vain
They told me lies
And I believed them
But even though
They tell me nothing
I can still hear them
I see it their eyes
But it's all just lies
But I'm patient zero
They caught it from me
So when they're all gone
What'll be left of me
Been a while.
Nov 2019 · 225
Afterlife
Ruheen Nov 2019
Are we going to be
Dust?
Or shadows?

Will we be in the
Clouds?
Or the shallows?

Should we watch
From above?
Or below?

Will we fly
Or sink?

Will we laugh
And drink?

When the stars
Blink?

Will we cry
When they say goodbye?

Are we going to be
Cold?
Or just alone?

I want to know
When we die
Where do we go?
We could die today, in the next hour. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. Or maybe even the one after that. It doesn't really matter when or how. I just wonder what happens next. Do we stay six feet under or do we go somewhere else?
Oct 2019 · 106
William Shakespeare
Ruheen Oct 2019
The guy that got confused between love and pain.
"One pain is cured by another. Catch some new infection in your eye, and the poison of the old one would die."

At least I think he did. You see I'm quite confused too. But about everything.
Oct 2019 · 240
The Haunting
Ruheen Oct 2019
All around us
Shadows on our trail
They seem to be watching
Waiting for our ship to sail

This is the haunting
The haunting has come
We've tried for years
To never succumb

People ask us
what goes wrong
No answer left to give
Because we've used them all

This is the haunting
The haunting has come
Learned to forgive
But never to love

This is the haunting
The haunting has come
This kind of weight-lifting
Can never be done

This is the haunting
The haunting has come
Nowhere to hide
Even less to run
Well, this is the haunting. You know Halloween and all that scary ghost stuff.
Oct 2019 · 316
Walls
Ruheen Oct 2019
Shadows dancing on the walls
Whispers creeping through the walls
Doors rattling by the walls
People laughing behind the walls

Closed off quarters
But water seeps through
It's likely torture
When it reaches you

Shadows dancing on the walls
Whispers creeping through the walls
Doors rattling by the walls
People laughing behind the walls

Stuck between walls
Neither far nor near
They start closing in
I don't want to die in here

Shadows dancing
Whispers creeping
Doors rattling
People laughing

All in the walls.
Walls can be creepy. When you're alone and it's dark and when the walls are all you can see.
Oct 2019 · 70
Video Game
Ruheen Oct 2019
Game on
Man down
Sleep tight
You're out

You start
The trap
You lose
They laugh

They shoot
You run
You shoot
They run

Right hook
Uppercut
They dodge
You duck

Play smart
Play safe
Not hard
It's a game

Wrong move
One life
All you get
Then you die

But at least in a game
You can press restart
And try all over again
I don't play video games, not that much.
Oct 2019 · 152
A Well-Kept Secret
Ruheen Oct 2019
I talk to myself

So I can think to myself,
And so I think to myself,

What a horrible world.

'But why does it seem so pretty?'

Because beauty is the best disguise
For something so ugly inside.

The horrors of this world are a well-kept secret.
They are, aren't they?
It's the horror within the beauty can harm us the most.
Even more than just the horror alone.
Oct 2019 · 176
I Don't Mind
Ruheen Oct 2019
No, I don't
I don't mind
The music's loud
We're in a crowd
But it's quiet

No, I don't
I don't mind
They're everywhere
But I don't care
'Cause I'm all alone

No, I don't
I don't mind
They're telling me
What to see
But I don't need to listen

No, I don't mind
But I really should.
...
Oct 2019 · 285
Hello Hellfire
Ruheen Oct 2019
Hello hellfire
I cannot feel lighter
Then the air I became
A poison left astray

Hello hellfire
The sun rose higher
Burning all in sight
Satan's blight

Hello hellfire
Demons walk quieter
Devil's trap, heaven's plight
Angel's song, hell's fight
hehe....I don't know
Oct 2019 · 122
The Center
Ruheen Oct 2019
The world goes round.
So why do we go straight?
A set path we have paved,
Through the blood of Earth.

This is the way of the world.
The way of the world is us.
Drowning our guilt,
In the Earth's innocence.

One's an accident.
Twice, a coincident.
Three's a pattern.
Four's just pushing it.

Soon we'll be lying on our backs,
Eyes half-closed, minds so cold,
In the shallows of what we have broken,
In the pain of what we leave behind.

We are in the center
The center will hold
But our center has already fallen
It cannot hold any longer.
William Yeats - The Second Coming
Oct 2019 · 312
Good Morning
Ruheen Oct 2019
Why?
There's nothing good about it.
I say that to everyone. Literally every day.
I am not a morning person.
Oct 2019 · 58
Persuasion
Ruheen Oct 2019
An ache
in your chest
Like losing a
limb
When
they find
What they find
Your hands
fall to your side
Your legs give out
under you
You close your
eyes
Trying to erase
all you've seen
Don't want 'em
to know what
you've seen
In a moment of weakness,
you let 'em check
under your hood
In a moment of weakness,
you plead with
your eyes
For mercy
You said too much
Now you better
hurry
Think before
you do
And if you
do it
Don't really
do it
Fix your
slip up
Don't let it
slip up
Stoic, blank
Keep it straight
Say all the
right things
Hope and pray
They can't see
right through
Right through you
And what you
know you do
The other way
Dissuade
But
Keep it simple
No complications
It's simple
Easy
Just a little persuasion.
Something happened to HP or maybe my laptop, but I couldn't post anything. Nothing would save and so I lost some of my work.

Anyway, when you want someone to believe anything but the truth.
Not really lying, just a little persuasion.
Oct 2019 · 65
Casket
Ruheen Oct 2019
Not a coffin,
A little more elegant.
A little more stylish.
But it still holds a body all the same.
Metaphor. Sort of.
Sep 2019 · 273
Universal Chess Board
Ruheen Sep 2019
Our board is too small,
Our moves are a mess.
We are pawns in a much more complicated game than chess.
Yet somehow, we mean even less.
It's like I'm obsessed with the idea of chess.
Sep 2019 · 278
Chess - The Pawn
Ruheen Sep 2019
The pawn
The soldier.
The warrior.
And the first to die.
Used by his king.
Killed by his enemies.
Remembered by no one.
In a kingdom,
Where the royals prevail,
There is no room
For a measly soldier.
Rougher than a knight.
Weaker than a bishop.
Shorter than a rook.
And powerless against all.
The pawn protects,
Everyone but himself.
Such wasted talent.
Sep 2019 · 86
Collateral Damage
Ruheen Sep 2019
Heaven rains down.
Hell rises up.
At dawn, they begin
Their search for dusk.
We mind.
We matter.
We run.
We scatter.
In the war between
All the higher powers,
All we are is,
Collateral damage.
We are used by all.
Favored by none.
Sep 2019 · 85
Cracked
Ruheen Sep 2019
Not everything that is broken can be fixed.
Not all that is fixed was once broken.

The time that we spent crying for hours,
Wishing for a merciful death, instead of torture,

Waiting to be fixed, like we're broken toys.
Were we really that deluded? Was any of it real?

Are we that determined to be fixed that,
We surrender our joy for anger and despair?

Or are we in tears because we are being fixed,
Though we don't need to be.

We say we are broken, to be put back together.
Some need it, but most of us are not broken.

Most of us just need a hand,
For we are not broken, but simply cracked.
I mean sure, if you got enough cracks, you're bound to break. But till then...meh.
Sep 2019 · 1.0k
Spiral
Ruheen Sep 2019
Aren't we all
Out of control
Spiraling up the towers
And tumbling down the markets

What we need, we can't get
What we don't, we get
What we want, we don't
But what we want, we get

We fear, we fight
Our worries rise
We're left with so much
But nothing at all

We get up and find
Claws in our way
As if we weren't already
Bruised enough

Aren't we all
Out of control
We fear for us
And no one else

So, when we spiral, we spiral as one.
Well, we're spiraling. 'We' isn't us 'we'. It's them 'we'. Well, sometimes it's us 'we', but anyway. Does that make sense?
Sep 2019 · 206
Muse
Ruheen Sep 2019
The mirror is your muse
Your muse, the mirror
I don't know.
Sep 2019 · 82
Uncomfortable
Ruheen Sep 2019
I feel like peeling off my skin.
I can't seem to shake off the tension
In my shoulders,
My neck,
My hands.
So why not just take it all off?
Shed a layer of my skin,
Become someone new.
Maybe then I'll be comfortable again.
I'm probably just tired.
Sep 2019 · 327
Chess - The Queen
Ruheen Sep 2019
Looks like she has more power than the king,
But the king rules all,
She's just a doll.
Sit there, look pretty,
When he asks for it, lie.
Sit there, look pretty,
When they come for him, die.
She has more freedom than the king,
As well as less protection,
She's just a decoration.
Stand tall, talk short,
Let him make all the decisions.
Stand tall, talk short,
Wait for him to close the curtains.
Bound by her duty.
Can't escape the ruling.
By his side, or by his feet.
Doesn't matter, it's just meant to be.
She's going to sit there, look pretty,
She's going to stand tall, talk short,
But she's going to fight for them, walk freely,
Because she knows it's all for her to keep.
Said I would make more. And I did.
This one's longer.
Sep 2019 · 806
When Did I Last
Ruheen Sep 2019
When did I last really laugh?
I can't really remember.
But I want to.

When did I last cry?
Just yesterday I believe,
But I don't know why.

When did I last yell?
Does it count if it
Was only in my head?

When did I last break?
An hour, ago I'm afraid.
No, maybe, I think.

My final question:
When will I last,
Do all of the above?/
....ok then.
Sep 2019 · 609
Nonexistent
Ruheen Sep 2019
Permanent scars

Temporary hope

Temporarily permanent life

Nonexistent, really.
...do you get it?
Sep 2019 · 76
I've Lost It
Ruheen Sep 2019
I need to go to sleep.
Otherwise, I will lose my mind.
.
.
.
Wait, nevermind.
Already lost it.
Burning the midnight oil, why not?
Sep 2019 · 378
What If I Fall?
Ruheen Sep 2019
What if the sky climbs higher?
And everything falls faster than me?

What if the rivers get angry?
And decide not to catch me?

If I fall, will I fall with grace?
Or with fear?

What if I fall?
And I can't be caught?

What if I fall?
And I don't get back up?

What if I fall?
...
Sep 2019 · 53
Identity 4
Ruheen Sep 2019
let them be stars
I'd rather be flying like a meteor

alone, but free
together, but stuck
lonely

I'd rather be far away, than close to home
I'd rather feel the wind in my hair

let me go
Didn't really like this one, but well...
Why not?
Sep 2019 · 58
Identity 3
Ruheen Sep 2019
Let them hurt
I hurt too

I'd rather be framed
For what I didn't do

Than run and hide
Because that isn't right
I hurt, I die
They hurt, they lie

I'd rather be nothing
Otherwise, I wouldn't be certain that

I'd rather feel pain
Because then I'd be human
Last one (Maybe, for now)
Sep 2019 · 99
Identity 2
Ruheen Sep 2019
Let them be brave
Alone in the dark

I'd rather be saved
Than broken apart

I save you
You save me
But you leave
I stay

I'd rather feel
Than be numb

I'd rather be known
Than just loved
Second one.
Or the third one.
I didn't really like the second one.
Sep 2019 · 52
Identity 1
Ruheen Sep 2019
Let them be harsh,
as society cannot exist with calm.
They prefer downpours of anger, not peace.

I’d rather be dead,
latching onto whatever piece of humanity
that is left.

That warmth that I once felt,
in the arms of my people, is now gone,
replaced by an icy death,
cold cascading down my back.
Those words, that were once imprisoned, by the angel on their shoulders,
do they leak through like water in a dam?
or is just a flood of things that could no longer be contained.

I’d rather be air and dust, than
lurk in the shadows, a shadow myself.
Watching the world tear at its hinges,
pulling close the curtains of humility,
has darkened the lights of their souls.
I don’t want to remember the world, why let it remember me?

I’d rather love no one and be loved by no one else,
for remembrance seems to cause pain.
I’d rather be forgotten, or better yet, erased.
We had to write poems following the structure of the poem 'Identity' by Julio Noboa Polanco.
I wrote mine and also wrote for three other people.
At least they turned out good.
Sep 2019 · 87
Shooting Star
Ruheen Sep 2019
Different universe
Same galaxy

Different galaxy
Same star

Different star
Same planet

Different planet
Same meteor

Different meteor
But you still wish upon it
Ok..... :)
Sep 2019 · 64
Versus
Ruheen Sep 2019
Ghoulish screams
Ghouls in dreams
Touching words
Touch that hurts
Shredded heart
Shredding part
You break
I break

Red oceans
Death omens
Darkened skies
Dark inside
Sharp blades
Short days
You don't
I don't

Dreaded lies
Dreadful eyes
Haunted smiles
Haunting cries
No place like
No one kind
You die
I might
One versus another.
Sep 2019 · 87
Mortality
Ruheen Sep 2019
A short life, but adventurous, nonetheless.
Die young, in a mysterious way,
When your body is still beautiful.

Your mind is still remembered.
What is that, if not immortality?
Your eyes dead, but your breath still lingering.

Most of us die,
Our existence shoved into a drawer.
As bright as we may have been.

Our fires are put out.
The pages shred.
Our dreams, our spirit, scattered.

Mortality runs in all our veins,
We are all subject to death,
But not all death is permanent.

After all, most of us
Are only mortals,
Simply wishing for immortality.

Something we know we won't have.
"One tends to die young, and then they burn your body - dust to dust, in the literal sense. And then we vanish into the shadows of history, nary a mark on the page of a mundane book to remind the world that once we existed at all."
                                                                      - Clockwork Angel, Will Herondale

"That's immortality, my darlings."  - Pretty Little Liars, Alison Dilaurentis
Sep 2019 · 296
YOU
Ruheen Sep 2019
YOU
Take the Y out of YOU.
And all you're left with is
YOU.

Stop doubting your every step
Can't believe your existence
Talk it down like it's nothing
Won't look back, you'll keep running

Take the Y out of YOU.
And all you're left with is
YOU.
Not talking about the letter here....more like the question.
Aug 2019 · 131
Fire Meets Fate
Ruheen Aug 2019
It burns your bones
Burns your soul

Leaves you cold
But still somehow whole

Lights up your heart
To get rid of the dark

Flames lick your skin
You see the Devil's grin

Turns you inside out
To blacken the outside now

You can see it in your eyes
When the water dries

When your tears start to sting
Know you're tired of crying

It's destiny's date
There is no escape

When fire meets fate.
uhuh. ok then. byee.
Aug 2019 · 131
Hair
Ruheen Aug 2019
Smooth, so you slide down
Until you reach the middle

It's all tangled up
And you're not so little

You brush it away
And don't look back

You slide down further
Until you reach the end

And find that everything's
All knotted up again
I love my hair, but I hate it.
Aug 2019 · 240
Autopsy
Ruheen Aug 2019
You wash out the bodies
Hang up on a line
Pin 'em up so very high
And wait for the blood to dry

Iron them out
Straight as can be
Rough, but smooth
Not a wrinkle, or crease

Grab your knife
And cut it up
See the results
They should be enough

Now, fold them up
And pack away
Lock the doors
To keep 'em safe
I swear I'm crazy. I just compared dead bodies to clothes. *shudder*
Aug 2019 · 98
On My Knees
Ruheen Aug 2019
I'm on my knees
Begging for me
I'm on the edge
I can't see
How far out
I can reach

I'm on my knees
By your feet
Your leg kicks
You're in the deep
It's all you
It wasn't me

I'm on my knees
I shouldn't be
You went too far
Farther than me
Why is stone
As tough as me

I'm on my knees
I can't believe
Blood is my sweat
I'm not me
This isn't real
Because stone doesn't bleed
I should stop saying this, but...uh, I don't know.
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