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May 27 · 37
Strangers Again
Ruheen May 27
We said hello in passing
Laughed with each other in groups
One day, there would be five between us
And I couldn't meet your eyes
Then it became three
And then only one
Then our knees were pressed together
Then your hand slipped into mine
And I could feel you laugh
Your voice rang in my ears
And mine in yours
But slowly your fingers lost their grip
Or maybe mine did
Our hands fell
Someone sled in between us
Then it became three
Then it was five
And suddenly we were strangers again
Who laughed with each other in groups
Who only said hello in passing
Friendly, maybe even friends
But not quite the same.
just an observation
May 20 · 222
Seven Days
Ruheen May 20
Seven days in a week
For which I am free
For only three
Out of five
There's no need
To be alive
So I lie there instead
And shed
My skin
I don't belong
If I can't get in
Four weeks and
I can sleep
In my head, I will be
Eight hours of dream
One day, it will be
May 14 · 388
Coloured In
Ruheen May 14
Pencil in the lines that curve
And twist around your body
Fill in the creases beneath
Your eyes and your lips
So it looks like you're smiling
Colour in your heart on your chest
Your thoughts above your head
As the night drags on
From morning to dawn
Pull at your lips,
Your fingertips
Make them tingle and breathe in
The kiss
Of the ink that smothers
The page and swells your face
With haste, it plays
With the colours at the edge
of our day
My name, engraved
Scribbling
As it amounts to
Nothing
I can see
Despite the view
That holds me.
byeeee
May 14 · 143
Coloured <3
Ruheen May 14
A hollow heart can't be filled
All you can do is colour it in
And hope it doesn't fade
Don't mistake
It for love.
We are as fickle
As we are
corrupt.
hiii
Apr 14 · 210
Petals
Ruheen Apr 14
I don't like flowers
But there's one where you can see through its petals
It doesn't shroud what's right in front of me
Without permission
I see what it's hiding
It understands my desire
To reveal the concealed
And beneath it's milky veins
A clear glass frame
That we call petals
Each a frail skeleton
It'll crumble in my fingers
And vanish entirely
The petals will shatter
As if it was nobody
Ruheen Mar 10
the way we walk
isn't so complicated
we're not going through a field of thorns
or the deep blue ocean
we're not going through storms
or hurricanes in motion
there's no sand to drag us in
no shells to ***** our skin
we're just walking on cement
on a road that never bends
so why would you want to take a detour
into a place where there's no right
and you don't know what's left anymore
you can't see the black or white
and there's no grey
why can't this road
be the one that we take
because I cannot stop out there
without getting lost
Feb 22 · 170
Letters
Ruheen Feb 22
Turns out we don't need to use that many.
This is random. I felt like posting.
Dec 2021 · 271
On Ice
Ruheen Dec 2021
Days like this
where I'm spinning
Figure 8s, pirouettes, I'm balancing on one leg
In the corner, I can see
you mocking my flexibility
Spin
Spin
Spin
You're getting closer
or maybe I am
Then I'm falling
Then I'm not
A hand reaches out to grab mine
one I've held a few times
I swear for a second, red flashed
before my eyes

So I lean in and whisper
"Let's pretend it's real"
We clutch the thread, so tightly in our hands
It tangles through our fingers, wraps around our wrists
and you use it to pull me up
or I'm pulling you down
It's one or the other
now I don't know which one of us is falling anymore
It started with me
but your smile says otherwise

I say "I miss you" cause I almost missed you
and you reply with another "I miss you"
and that glimmer in your eyes
just gets brighter
and you smile again
This time I mirror it, a smile for a smile
A laugh for a laugh
A nudge for a nudge
A glance for a glance
I see the way you look at me
I think that's the way I look at you
I feel the thread wrap tighter
I feel us fall faster
I'm pretty sure we're falling together
Slipping on ice
hurts like hell
but we don't seem to mind
since we're laughing again

I said "Push me off
not pull me up"
You say
"Pull me down
Don't push me away"

Then we're slipping on ice all over again
For someone important. Happy birthday.
Dec 2021 · 313
Delirium
Ruheen Dec 2021
This is what happens when you lose your ******* mind:
You start to ramble and despise
every word you hear and say
every picture you see
and then comes along the one person
who swims right into your sea -
you don't mean to block their way
but you want to make them stay -
so you shut up and sit tight
and wait for the right time
to say or do - god knows what
or who I'm becoming
with you.

This is what happens when you're on some ****** island
Only you can see:
You start seeing what you want
but never hearing what you need
you start feeling things you'd rather not feel
then you scream
suddenly everybody's looking at you
all weird
-cause everybody was your nobody;
your nobody was always somebody-
they can see your crazy
you would hide but you're too lazy

This is what happens when you lose your ******* mind:
Somehow you start making sense.
Merry Christmas!
Dec 2021 · 518
Red
Ruheen Dec 2021
Red
You ever heard of the red string?
It's an invisible string that binds you to your soulmate.
The red string of fate.
Some tie it to their ankles.
Their thumbs.
Their little finger.
Others don't believe it at all.
Understandable.
I don't either.
I know it isn't real.
But strangely, it is the only myth about soulmates that I want to believe.
I want it to be real.
because of her.
Nov 2021 · 209
Dreamy
Ruheen Nov 2021
I don't have a dream
Is that strange?
Is it supposed to be?
It isn't to me. At all.
I don't know anything
But why do I have to have a dream?
I won't find one
Even if I do,
I won't
Follow
It.
You're the weird one for having dreams that are never constant.
I, in this sense, am perfectly normal. At least I'm consistent for never having a dream.
Nov 2021 · 220
saturated
Ruheen Nov 2021
My brain won't accept any more emotional stupidity.
It's literally NOT POSSIBLE.
It's taken in as much as it can.
Wanna know how I know?
I'm not feeling what I'm supposed to be feeling.
I can't.
Nov 2021 · 73
Let Go
Ruheen Nov 2021
We've been drowning for a long time
We're already under
Just holding our breaths
And we really want to let go
They should've noticed
Should have acknowledged it
It's all so poetic: death
Talking about it
Explaining it plainly:
A statement; a confession
And no one ever believes it
Well, now we're dead
So they have no choice
We took in the water:
We let go.
Jul 2021 · 237
Poetry - A Brand
Ruheen Jul 2021
POETRY:
~
Evoking feelings one thought they couldn't possibly ever feel since, well, the beginning of time.
~
Hehe.
Jul 2021 · 587
Corner
Ruheen Jul 2021
That one corner
In your closet
Where you just sit
And think

She told me to stop. I promised her I would.

That one corner
In your closet
That you're always
Trapped in
Hi.
Jul 2021 · 347
Apple
Ruheen Jul 2021
I don't know what's wrong with me.
But I just got so angry. Frustrated.
I wanted to yell.
I didn't. There were people around.
I was cutting an apple, peeling the skin off.
It was bright red
And it was glistening under the light.
I had the knife in my hand
And for a second - no it was more than just one second -
I wanted to throw it.
And I wanted it to hurt.
And I wanted to see the glistening again.
But I don't know who I was aiming for.
Them,
me
or the apple.
I didn't throw it.
Apr 2021 · 1.2k
Lucy
Ruheen Apr 2021
"Let me in?" I asked
She said, "Could you please go back"
Gave her my hand,
But she let it fall.

I picked it back up
But she was already gone;
I watched her walk away,
Smiling at the Sun
And I melted.

She was in the rain,
She was in the grass,
And I couldn't help but smile
When I saw her laugh.

I wanted people to see what I saw
Because it's better to be held
Than holding on
To nothing, nothing at all

She wanted to be by herself
And I swear I understood
Alone, but not lonely
But what about me?

Why couldn't she understand
That she was too good
For this world and its people
And to just stay hidden

She pushed me away
I couldn't be with her
But I watched and I smiled
So imagine the others
How would they see what I saw?

Now she's gone
And I remember everything
Every moment, every smile,
Every crinkle of her eyes

I'm not fine
She left without a word
And no one seems to know
But me and a few others

She was too good
For this world
She was too good to just
Sit in her world

I wanted her to be loved
The way I love her
And now I'm not fine
Because all I can do is remember.

She wanted to be by herself
Just her in her innocent world
And I swear I understood
She was alone, not lonely
But what about me?
Remediation of "She Dwelt Among The Untrodden Ways" by William Wordsworth in the speaker's POV.
Mar 2021 · 510
Overrated
Ruheen Mar 2021
Heroes
Romance
Happy endings
Sad endings
Tragedy
Villains
People
OR
All of the above
Not a part two. Just a fitting title. I don't know.
Mar 2021 · 314
Indecision
Ruheen Mar 2021
I'm being an emotional fool.
A typical teenager, if you will.
What else did you expect?
Mar 2021 · 628
Train to Paris
Ruheen Mar 2021
I remember the inside:
A little red; a bit of grey.
Rows of leather seats and carpeted floors.
But it was when the journey began,
And I sat down,
My feet dangling over the edge,
Just like my anticipation -
They told me we'll be under the sea.
But I felt us moving;
The slow hum I heard eased me.
My eyes flickered to the window,
My parents' voices faded,
As I watched my reflection.
Then I noticed her. In the window.
I recognized her,
From where we had left.
It was while I was on my feet,
Hand clasped in my mother's,
But eyes fixed on her.
The girl sat waiting, sketchbook in her lap,
Pencil in her hand with her legs crossed.
It was crowded and clamorous,
Yet she paid no attention,
Her gaze set on her art,
Her movements steady.
The girl's raven hair was tied
And I think she wore something blue.
We went in together.
We sat on the left,
She sat on the right,
And drew.
And drew.
And drew.
And her pencil left dark marks on snow-like paper,
As her hands moved fast, then slow.
I couldn't help but watch.
I strained to look away,
But the window only showed…
Black. Bricks.
Darker than her hair. And her pencil.
We were underwater, but I didn't care.
I was more intrigued by the girl
Who sat so close, but was so far away.
Practically living in a different world.
I was helpless, shy, way too curious.
I wondered what she was thinking. And drawing.
It was pure, innocent, fascination.
Then the train stopped.
She stopped.
I stopped.
Because we had arrived.
We left.
She was gone.
I was bored.
Again.
A memory
Feb 2021 · 210
she's in the rain
Ruheen Feb 2021
where everything just melts away
the sky moves and takes her pain
while everything stands still in the rain
she dances until the colours change
she plays with the water
until she falls again
droplets blanket her face
telling her it's going to be okay
......
she's in the rain
Jan 2021 · 531
Playing Games
Ruheen Jan 2021
~
Here I am;
Guessing and
Playing games with my hands,
As my feelings spill out
In front of me.

Carved my skin
A little thin
From my heart to my hands.
Then my nails dug in
A little deep.

Here I am;
In the sand,
Playing games with my hands,
As my feelings make patterns
On the ground.

~
Well...Hi!
Jan 2021 · 322
Addiction
Ruheen Jan 2021
Disappearing isn't easy.
It takes time and effort
To stay away from everything
That you think helps
Because you're always itching to get back,
And it's always an inch away
From your fingertips
Because all you'd have to do is click a button,
And you're addicted.
Again.
I'm back. Don't know for how long. Don't know if and when I'll disappear again.
But for now; I'm back.
I just couldn't write. Didn't know what to.
Jan 2021 · 625
Mourning Night
Ruheen Jan 2021
Let the morning rise
But the sun's bled dry
As the storm clouds tread
Across the cold blue sky
And then, smiles,
The mourning night.
And then, miles, to get over and walk away from this incredibly bad case of writer's block.
Dec 2020 · 79
That Night
Ruheen Dec 2020
He died that day.
That man.
I may have gone there to **** him,
And I may have wanted him to die,
But he died
Because he fell upon my sword.
Willingly.
He died.
But I wished he hadn't.
I wanted him to live a little longer
So he could see me burn down his kingdom
And all the people in it.
And then
I would have killed him.
That night.
Ruheen Nov 2020
I don't feel like myself
I feel like yelling
I feel like crying
And I don't feel like writing
But here I am
.
.
.
Because it's supposed to help
They said it helps
...
Oct 2020 · 459
Sunken
Ruheen Oct 2020
In the darkness
A hand reaches out
To pull you under
To drag you out
Or to just move closer
Until you drown
With your eyes closed
Sunken tears
Blinding light
It pierces
Your eyelids
To your eyes
You still see
The sunlight
Into the water
You jumped in
So in the darkness
You're floating
Sinking in further
Until a hand reaches out
Drags you out
Across the bank
And pretends to
Save you
But then jumps into
The water
And takes you with
Then you're just swimming
Till you're sunken.
I went swimming today.
Oct 2020 · 312
Vertigo
Ruheen Oct 2020
I can see the way
Your rhymes they play
Your head
You've got that blame
On pause
Now hit repeat
I don't do rhymes
Patterns
Circles
Or anything
That spins my head
Because I get dizzy
And then my head hurts
Then I get awkward
And I don't like it.
Then I get nauseous
And I hate it.
And then someone out there
Decides to hit
Repeat.
...sorry it took so long.
Sep 2020 · 516
Halfway There
Ruheen Sep 2020
Halfway there
Then I turn around
Start walking west
But I hit the ground

And I don't get back up
I turn to my side
Elbow underneath
As the I watch the Sun pry

The gravel digs in
I turn on my back
Lie on my arm
Make it all pitch-black

I keep 'em open
When I hear sounds
Engines revving
It's about to go down

I crawl outta the way
My palms scraped and ******
Was lying on the dirt
But my jeans got muddy

Lights fly past
They show me a way
So I tie up my hair
And start walking straight

I'm still halfway there
But I turn my feet
Start walking north
Now there's grass underneath

How could one find me,
In this mess of a field?
...
Sep 2020 · 591
To Be Or Not To Be
Ruheen Sep 2020
Wanting to be like someone
And wanting to be someone
Are two very different things.
....one is identity theft!

To be or to be the other one.....that is the question.
A momentary burst of sarcasm.
Enjoy!
To be or not to be someone like Shakespeare....that is the question....!
Sep 2020 · 485
I Pray...
Ruheen Sep 2020
Why
Does living need to hurt?
I thought God was kind.
Were they all lies?
We might just be blind.

Oh wait,
I don't even believe
In him; it isn't real.

If it was, we would all
Be fine.

I pray.
I pray. Just don't know what I'm praying to. I don't think it's God.
Sep 2020 · 201
Wishful
Ruheen Sep 2020
You know when you create this image in your head
Even though you don't want to
Because you're afraid of how you'll feel when that image completely shatters?
And you know that it will because that's just not how things are.
It's how things could be,
But probably not how they will be.
Wishful thinking. A fantasy.
Sep 2020 · 231
The Wall
Ruheen Sep 2020
Confined in concrete and silence;

The serrated edges; scarring.

With blank spaces, impatient for thoughts

And handholds with which I can peek.

As I push myself higher,

My hands catch hold of a fence.

When I sit over the edge,

The fence digging into my legs,

My palms scratched and ******,

I decide; a mere jump cannot take

From me the pen I have longed to hold;

And so the inkless pages begin bleeding ink.
I haven't been able to write. I've been forcing words out, but I think I did it with this one.
Just had to jump over a wall. Piece of cake.
Sep 2020 · 546
Black Dot
Ruheen Sep 2020
Sometimes a black dot in the middle of a page is
Just a black dot in the middle of a white page.
It's just that.
It doesn't have to be more than that.
Why do we have to complicate it?
Not everything needs a story.
We don't have to complicate everything.
We're just making it harder for ourselves.

So let that black dot be a black dot.
Don't look at as if it's life.

Because life isn't that simple.
We did this thing in class where we looked at a picture of a black dot in the middle of a white page and then had to write down what we saw.
I wrote exactly what I saw; a black dot on a white page.
Apparently, our teacher wanted something else; something more profound.
Why? Why psychoanalyze everything and turn into something so complicated?
Keep it simple.
Life already has complications, why add more?
Sep 2020 · 323
Waiting....Impatiently
Ruheen Sep 2020
I've been waiting to write
For something to suddenly inspire me
And for words to just flow out
...
But that didn't happen
So I tried forcing words out
Even if they didn't make sense
...
But that didn't work either
...
So this is all I got right now
It's not bad
...
Oh, forget it.
....
Aug 2020 · 120
CrAZy
Ruheen Aug 2020
Why did madness become a disease?
Somehow crazy got locked up in a cell
When really
They should lock up
Sanity instead
'Cause these days
All of the
Hypocrites
Liars
Politicians
And their friends
All of the
People who fall
Of the roof
And their beds
All of the
Stars taking pictures
In their cells
Are the ones we call sane
At least that's what the internet says.
And these days
The crazy
In solitary
Could run the world
May not be much of a difference.
'Cause these days
Crazy is the trend.
Crazy seems to make
Much more sense.
...
Aug 2020 · 391
Read
Ruheen Aug 2020
It's funny,
how when you read something
and realize that it basically
describes you and is talking
about you
and that there is a person
out there who relates to you,
and yet you still manage
to find a way to convince
yourself that no one
understands you
and you're just being dramatic.
Because this isn't fiction.
It's reality.
But apparently they're pretty similar
Sometimes.
Every time I read.
Aug 2020 · 200
Train of Thought
Ruheen Aug 2020
Do you ever just think about how you ended up thinking about something, and then try and retrace your thoughts?
.
.
.
Why am I trying to figure out how I thought about this?
.
.
.
Ohhhh. That's how I ended up thinking about this.
.
.
.
Why can't I remember? Ugh.
.
.
.
Why did I think about this?
.
.
.
I need to write something for HP. It's been a while.
.
.
.
I need to sleep.
I think that's how I thought about this. I think. Usually, I can retrace my thought pretty well, but this time, I just don't know.
I still like it.
Might make more of these.
Aug 2020 · 333
Little Lies
Ruheen Aug 2020
The littlest of lies
Conceal the largest truths.

Because the more extravagant your lie is
.
.
.
The less likely people are to believe it.
....
Aug 2020 · 349
Scars & Secrets
Ruheen Aug 2020
Everyone has scars they want to protect.
Even though scars aren't secrets.
They can be seen.

But because everyone can see them,
They'll want to know
The story
Behind your scars,
Which are secrets.

One is questioned,
The other is unknown.

So which is the secret?

The story?

Or the scar?

Which would we rather hide?
....
Jul 2020 · 388
Dyslexia
Ruheen Jul 2020
Forget about speaking and understanding.

If someone writes in a different language
To your own,
You wouldn't even be able to read it.

At least at first glance.
I'm sure if you stare at it
Hard and long enough,

You'd be able to make out something.
A metaphor. Stare it at long and hard. I'm sure you'll get it.
Jul 2020 · 503
In Between
Ruheen Jul 2020
Just because you don't want to live
Doesn't mean you want to die.

It's a pity there's no in-between.

It's one or the other.
You're either dead or alive.

Nothing in-between.
...
Jul 2020 · 955
Standing In God's Tears
Ruheen Jul 2020
I can't tell if the stinging in my eyes
Is from my tears
Or from keeping my eyes
Open in the rain
Too long.
Both end up blurring my vision anyway.
I don't mind though.
Because if there is a God,
And he's up there,
Then at least I know
He's as frustrated as I am.
And he deserves to be.
...
Jul 2020 · 400
Psycho
Ruheen Jul 2020
They do have the best stories.
May not be very bubbly
Or comedic,
But thrilling,
At the least.
Horror
Is
The most fascinating
Genre.
...
Jul 2020 · 290
Talk
Ruheen Jul 2020
People don't know
Anything.
People won't know
Unless
We
Talk.
And that is why
No one knows
Anything.
Because
No
One
Will
Talk.
If people say they know us as well as they think they do, or as well as they should, they should know me by now.
I know them. They don't talk, but I still know.
So, why this unfairness? Towards me?
Why do I try so hard?
When they don't try at all?
I'm not going to change; it's who I am.
But I can vent. :)
Ruheen Jul 2020
"Treat others the way you want to be treated."
.
.
.
.
.
I've been trying for a while now.
I'm very nice.
All the time.
I swear I'm friendly with everyone.
No one's paying much attention.
No one's ever paid attention.
Some people think of me as a pushover now.
.
.
.
.
.
So.
I'll still do it.
I'm going to be nice.
I am nice.
But I'll stop treating them better.
Better than I treat myself.
.
.
.
.
.
That quote's missing something.
It should be more like:
"Treat others the way you want to be treated...but treat yourself more often and better, so you don't end up hating yourself. And everyone around you."
.
.
.
.
.
That's it.
Thank you.
.....long title.
Jul 2020 · 216
The Falling Girl
Ruheen Jul 2020
As they passed the
Windows
And turned to watch
The people that
Watched
The girls who fell
Fell without a sound
But the ones who
Stood
On the ledge
And were pushed
Fell like rain
...
Because
Everyone could hear them fall.
Inspired by the short story 'The Falling Girl' by Dino Buzatti.
It's really good.
I'm gonna write a part 2.
This is my 300th public poem. :)
Jul 2020 · 198
Just Like Them
Ruheen Jul 2020
I don't want to read their words
I don't want to feel their pain
I just want them to
See that I am
Just like them
I just skip past their words
I don't want to feel this way
But I just want to be
As good as they are
I want them to know
I feel what they feel
I want them to see
I want them to know
I'm just like them
They're just like me
But then why
Can't I
Be
Just
Like
Them?
Wrote this a while ago.
Jul 2020 · 483
Bed Bugs
Ruheen Jul 2020
Don't let the bed bugs bite...
Even though they're crawling
All over you.

Don't let the raindrops win...
Even though they're
Surrounding you.

Don't let the windows shine...
Even though they can
Always see you.

Don't let the bed bugs bite...
Because even when you're
Holding your pillow tight...

They still come and snuggle up by your side.
...figure it out. I'm going to sleep
Jun 2020 · 599
isn't it strange?
Ruheen Jun 2020
isn't it strange that everyone likes the words that i hate?
...
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