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Apr 1 · 449
Lucy
Ruheen Apr 1
"Let me in?" I asked
She said, "Could you please go back"
Gave her my hand,
But she let it fall.

I picked it back up
But she was already gone;
I watched her walk away,
Smiling at the Sun
And I melted.

She was in the rain,
She was in the grass,
And I couldn't help but smile
When I saw her laugh.

I wanted people to see what I saw
Because it's better to be held
Than holding on
To nothing, nothing at all

She wanted to be by herself
And I swear I understood
Alone, but not lonely
But what about me?

Why couldn't she understand
That she was too good
For this world and its people
And to just stay hidden

She pushed me away
I couldn't be with her
But I watched and I smiled
So imagine the others
How would they see what I saw?

Now she's gone
And I remember everything
Every moment, every smile,
Every crinkle of her eyes

I'm not fine
She left without a word
And no one seems to know
But me and a few others

She was too good
For this world
She was too good to just
Sit in her world

I wanted her to be loved
The way I love her
And now I'm not fine
Because all I can do is remember.

She wanted to be by herself
Just her in her innocent world
And I swear I understood
She was alone, not lonely
But what about me?
Remediation of "She Dwelt Among The Untrodden Ways" by William Wordsworth in the speaker's POV.
Mar 27 · 380
Overrated
Ruheen Mar 27
Heroes
Romance
Happy endings
Sad endings
Tragedy
Villains
People
OR
All of the above
Not a part two. Just a fitting title. I don't know.
Mar 21 · 253
Indecision
Ruheen Mar 21
I'm being an emotional fool.
A typical teenager, if you will.
What else did you expect?
Mar 21 · 179
Train to Paris
Ruheen Mar 21
I remember the inside:
A little red; a bit of grey.
Rows of leather seats and carpeted floors.
But it was when the journey began,
And I sat down,
My feet dangling over the edge,
Just like my anticipation -
They told me we'll be under the sea.
But I felt us moving;
The slow hum I heard eased me.
My eyes flickered to the window,
My parents' voices faded,
As I watched my reflection.
Then I noticed her. In the window.
I recognized her,
From where we had left.
It was while I was on my feet,
Hand clasped in my mother's,
But eyes fixed on her.
The girl sat waiting, sketchbook in her lap,
Pencil in her hand with her legs crossed.
It was crowded and clamorous,
Yet she paid no attention,
Her gaze set on her art,
Her movements steady.
The girl's raven hair was tied
And I think she wore something blue.
We went in together.
We sat on the left,
She sat on the right,
And drew.
And drew.
And drew.
And her pencil left dark marks on snow-like paper,
As her hands moved fast, then slow.
I couldn't help but watch.
I strained to look away,
But the window only showed…
Black. Bricks.
Darker than her hair. And her pencil.
We were underwater, but I didn't care.
I was more intrigued by the girl
Who sat so close, but was so far away.
Practically living in a different world.
I was helpless, shy, way too curious.
I wondered what she was thinking. And drawing.
It was pure, innocent, fascination.
Then the train stopped.
She stopped.
I stopped.
Because we had arrived.
We left.
She was gone.
I was bored.
Again.
A memory
Feb 17 · 165
she's in the rain
Ruheen Feb 17
where everything just melts away
the sky moves and takes her pain
while everything stands still in the rain
she dances until the colours change
she plays with the water
until she falls again
droplets blanket her face
telling her it's going to be okay
......
she's in the rain
Jan 25 · 372
Playing Games
Ruheen Jan 25
~
Here I am;
Guessing and
Playing games with my hands,
As my feelings spill out
In front of me.

Carved my skin
A little thin
From my heart to my hands.
Then my nails dug in
A little deep.

Here I am;
In the sand,
Playing games with my hands,
As my feelings make patterns
On the ground.

~
Well...Hi!
Jan 10 · 162
Addiction
Ruheen Jan 10
Disappearing isn't easy.
It takes time and effort
To stay away from everything
That you think helps
Because you're always itching to get back,
And it's always an inch away
From your fingertips
Because all you'd have to do is click a button,
And you're addicted.
Again.
I'm back. Don't know for how long. Don't know if and when I'll disappear again.
But for now; I'm back.
I just couldn't write. Didn't know what to.
Jan 10 · 415
Mourning Night
Ruheen Jan 10
Let the morning rise
But the sun's bled dry
As the storm clouds tread
Across the cold blue sky
And then, smiles,
The mourning night.
And then, miles, to get over and walk away from this incredibly bad case of writer's block.
Dec 2020 · 38
That Night
Ruheen Dec 2020
He died that day.
That man.
I may have gone there to **** him,
And I may have wanted him to die,
But he died
Because he fell upon my sword.
Willingly.
He died.
But I wished he hadn't.
I wanted him to live a little longer
So he could see me burn down his kingdom
And all the people in it.
And then
I would have killed him.
That night.
Ruheen Nov 2020
I don't feel like myself
I feel like yelling
I feel like crying
And I don't feel like writing
But here I am
.
.
.
Because it's supposed to help
They said it helps
...
Oct 2020 · 229
Sunken
Ruheen Oct 2020
In the darkness
A hand reaches out
To pull you under
To drag you out
Or to just move closer
Until you drown
With your eyes closed
Sunken tears
Blinding light
It pierces
Your eyelids
To your eyes
You still see
The sunlight
Into the water
You jumped in
So in the darkness
You're floating
Sinking in further
Until a hand reaches out
Drags you out
Across the bank
And pretends to
Save you
But then jumps into
The water
And takes you with
Then you're just swimming
Till you're sunken.
I went swimming today.
Oct 2020 · 188
Vertigo
Ruheen Oct 2020
I can see the way
Your rhymes they play
Your head
You've got that blame
On pause
Now hit repeat
I don't do rhymes
Patterns
Circles
Or anything
That spins my head
Because I get dizzy
And then my head hurts
Then I get awkward
And I don't like it.
Then I get nauseous
And I hate it.
And then someone out there
Decides to hit
Repeat.
...sorry it took so long.
Sep 2020 · 278
Halfway There
Ruheen Sep 2020
Halfway there
Then I turn around
Start walking west
But I hit the ground

And I don't get back up
I turn to my side
Elbow underneath
As the I watch the Sun pry

The gravel digs in
I turn on my back
Lie on my arm
Make it all pitch-black

I keep 'em open
When I hear sounds
Engines revving
It's about to go down

I crawl outta the way
My palms scraped and ******
Was lying on the dirt
But my jeans got muddy

Lights fly past
They show me a way
So I tie up my hair
And start walking straight

I'm still halfway there
But I turn my feet
Start walking north
Now there's grass underneath

How could one find me,
In this mess of a field?
...
Sep 2020 · 524
To Be Or Not To Be
Ruheen Sep 2020
Wanting to be like someone
And wanting to be someone
Are two very different things.
....one is identity theft!

To be or to be the other one.....that is the question.
A momentary burst of sarcasm.
Enjoy!
To be or not to be someone like Shakespeare....that is the question....!
Sep 2020 · 352
I Pray...
Ruheen Sep 2020
Why
Does living need to hurt?
I thought God was kind.
Were they all lies?
We might just be blind.

Oh wait,
I don't even believe
In him; it isn't real.

If it was, we would all
Be fine.

I pray.
I pray. Just don't know what I'm praying to. I don't think it's God.
Sep 2020 · 125
Wishful
Ruheen Sep 2020
You know when you create this image in your head
Even though you don't want to
Because you're afraid of how you'll feel when that image completely shatters?
And you know that it will because that's just not how things are.
It's how things could be,
But probably not how they will be.
Wishful thinking. A fantasy.
Sep 2020 · 139
The Wall
Ruheen Sep 2020
Confined in concrete and silence;

The serrated edges; scarring.

With blank spaces, impatient for thoughts

And handholds with which I can peek.

As I push myself higher,

My hands catch hold of a fence.

When I sit over the edge,

The fence digging into my legs,

My palms scratched and ******,

I decide; a mere jump cannot take

From me the pen I have longed to hold;

And so the inkless pages begin bleeding ink.
I haven't been able to write. I've been forcing words out, but I think I did it with this one.
Just had to jump over a wall. Piece of cake.
Sep 2020 · 457
Black Dot
Ruheen Sep 2020
Sometimes a black dot in the middle of a page is
Just a black dot in the middle of a white page.
It's just that.
It doesn't have to be more than that.
Why do we have to complicate it?
Not everything needs a story.
We don't have to complicate everything.
We're just making it harder for ourselves.

So let that black dot be a black dot.
Don't look at as if it's life.

Because life isn't that simple.
We did this thing in class where we looked at a picture of a black dot in the middle of a white page and then had to write down what we saw.
I wrote exactly what I saw; a black dot on a white page.
Apparently, our teacher wanted something else; something more profound.
Why? Why psychoanalyze everything and turn into something so complicated?
Keep it simple.
Life already has complications, why add more?
Sep 2020 · 255
Waiting....Impatiently
Ruheen Sep 2020
I've been waiting to write
For something to suddenly inspire me
And for words to just flow out
...
But that didn't happen
So I tried forcing words out
Even if they didn't make sense
...
But that didn't work either
...
So this is all I got right now
It's not bad
...
Oh, forget it.
....
Aug 2020 · 77
CrAZy
Ruheen Aug 2020
Why did madness become a disease?
Somehow crazy got locked up in a cell
When really
They should lock up
Sanity instead
'Cause these days
All of the
Hypocrites
Liars
Politicians
And their friends
All of the
People who fall
Of the roof
And their beds
All of the
Stars taking pictures
In their cells
Are the ones we call sane
At least that's what the internet says.
And these days
The crazy
In solitary
Could run the world
May not be much of a difference.
'Cause these days
Crazy is the trend.
Crazy seems to make
Much more sense.
...
Aug 2020 · 252
Read
Ruheen Aug 2020
It's funny,
how when you read something
and realize that it basically
describes you and is talking
about you
and that there is a person
out there who relates to you,
and yet you still manage
to find a way to convince
yourself that no one
understands you
and you're just being dramatic.
Because this isn't fiction.
It's reality.
But apparently they're pretty similar
Sometimes.
Every time I read.
Aug 2020 · 140
Train of Thought
Ruheen Aug 2020
Do you ever just think about how you ended up thinking about something, and then try and retrace your thoughts?
.
.
.
Why am I trying to figure out how I thought about this?
.
.
.
Ohhhh. That's how I ended up thinking about this.
.
.
.
Why can't I remember? Ugh.
.
.
.
Why did I think about this?
.
.
.
I need to write something for HP. It's been a while.
.
.
.
I need to sleep.
I think that's how I thought about this. I think. Usually, I can retrace my thought pretty well, but this time, I just don't know.
I still like it.
Might make more of these.
Aug 2020 · 231
Little Lies
Ruheen Aug 2020
The littlest of lies
Conceal the largest truths.

Because the more extravagant your lie is
.
.
.
The less likely people are to believe it.
....
Aug 2020 · 275
Scars & Secrets
Ruheen Aug 2020
Everyone has scars they want to protect.
Even though scars aren't secrets.
They can be seen.

But because everyone can see them,
They'll want to know
The story
Behind your scars,
Which are secrets.

One is questioned,
The other is unknown.

So which is the secret?

The story?

Or the scar?

Which would we rather hide?
....
Jul 2020 · 273
Dyslexia
Ruheen Jul 2020
Forget about speaking and understanding.

If someone writes in a different language
To your own,
You wouldn't even be able to read it.

At least at first glance.
I'm sure if you stare at it
Hard and long enough,

You'd be able to make out something.
A metaphor. Stare it at long and hard. I'm sure you'll get it.
Jul 2020 · 429
In Between
Ruheen Jul 2020
Just because you don't want to live
Doesn't mean you want to die.

It's a pity there's no in-between.

It's one or the other.
You're either dead or alive.

Nothing in-between.
...
Jul 2020 · 747
Standing In God's Tears
Ruheen Jul 2020
I can't tell if the stinging in my eyes
Is from my tears
Or from keeping my eyes
Open in the rain
Too long.
Both end up blurring my vision anyway.
I don't mind though.
Because if there is a God,
And he's up there,
Then at least I know
He's as frustrated as I am.
And he deserves to be.
...
Jul 2020 · 234
Psycho
Ruheen Jul 2020
They do have the best stories.
May not be very bubbly
Or comedic,
But thrilling,
At the least.
Horror
Is
The most fascinating
Genre.
...
Jul 2020 · 236
Talk
Ruheen Jul 2020
People don't know
Anything.
People won't know
Unless
We
Talk.
And that is why
No one knows
Anything.
Because
No
One
Will
Talk.
If people say they know us as well as they think they do, or as well as they should, they should know me by now.
I know them. They don't talk, but I still know.
So, why this unfairness? Towards me?
Why do I try so hard?
When they don't try at all?
I'm not going to change; it's who I am.
But I can vent. :)
Ruheen Jul 2020
"Treat others the way you want to be treated."
.
.
.
.
.
I've been trying for a while now.
I'm very nice.
All the time.
I swear I'm friendly with everyone.
No one's paying much attention.
No one's ever paid attention.
Some people think of me as a pushover now.
.
.
.
.
.
So.
I'll still do it.
I'm going to be nice.
I am nice.
But I'll stop treating them better.
Better than I treat myself.
.
.
.
.
.
That quote's missing something.
It should be more like:
"Treat others the way you want to be treated...but treat yourself more often and better, so you don't end up hating yourself. And everyone around you."
.
.
.
.
.
That's it.
Thank you.
.....long title.
Jul 2020 · 171
The Falling Girl
Ruheen Jul 2020
As they passed the
Windows
And turned to watch
The people that
Watched
The girls who fell
Fell without a sound
But the ones who
Stood
On the ledge
And were pushed
Fell like rain
...
Because
Everyone could hear them fall.
Inspired by the short story 'The Falling Girl' by Dino Buzatti.
It's really good.
I'm gonna write a part 2.
This is my 300th public poem. :)
Jul 2020 · 165
Just Like Them
Ruheen Jul 2020
I don't want to read their words
I don't want to feel their pain
I just want them to
See that I am
Just like them
I just skip past their words
I don't want to feel this way
But I just want to be
As good as they are
I want them to know
I feel what they feel
I want them to see
I want them to know
I'm just like them
They're just like me
But then why
Can't I
Be
Just
Like
Them?
Wrote this a while ago.
Jul 2020 · 334
Bed Bugs
Ruheen Jul 2020
Don't let the bed bugs bite...
Even though they're crawling
All over you.

Don't let the raindrops win...
Even though they're
Surrounding you.

Don't let the windows shine...
Even though they can
Always see you.

Don't let the bed bugs bite...
Because even when you're
Holding your pillow tight...

They still come and snuggle up by your side.
...figure it out. I'm going to sleep
Jun 2020 · 440
isn't it strange?
Ruheen Jun 2020
isn't it strange that everyone likes the words that i hate?
...
Jun 2020 · 66
Throat
Ruheen Jun 2020
your voice gets caught in your throat;
and it burns
burns
burns
cause the fire in your
words
needs to
escape
then you take in
the air
and the oxygen
is there
and it dies down
but the embers light up
again
so you
gulp
gulp
gulp
hoping to quench
your thirst
and the words
that hiss against
your teeth
make them rattle
and shake
but end up burning
your tongue
instead
oh no.
what can you do
but let them
blow you up?
cause the
right time
is the
wrong time
and the
wrong time
becomes the
right time
and everything
just
slips
away
as you
scream
the fire's gone;
the embers too
so why does it
feel like
you
still
need
to
Clear
Your
Throat?
...
Jun 2020 · 110
High Note
Ruheen Jun 2020
Why can't I hit the
High notes
Side note
Let me make you
My own
Rainbows
Low notes
Tell me something I don't
Know
Who goes
Your gold
My go
Give me silver
And no more
Let me take you to the
High road
Say no
Why can't I hit the
High note
Solo
So please don't
Let me go down under.
...
Jun 2020 · 95
Humans
Ruheen Jun 2020
Let me clear something up:
ALL HUMANS ARE PSYCHOS.

And you can't tell me otherwise
Because we are.
We weren't born this way,
We were made.

And yeah you may not act like it,
But let me tell a secret...
You've got it in you.

We all do.
We can all be bad.

We weren't born good or bad.
When we were born,
We were like clay.
Mouldable.

We were taught the differences between good and bad.

We were taught to be good.

But do we really know the difference?

Say a kind person is called 'good'.
That same person can hate someone.
That person can be bad.

Because being a bad person isn't just killing someone,
Or stealing, doing drugs.

A bad person has dark thoughts.

And you can't tell me you have never had such a thought before.

Because I know you have.

Therefore, all humans are technically bad.

We just don't consider ourselves to be
Because our definition of good and bad,
Isn't ours.

It's someone else's.

Our definitions are based on what we see around us.

People may be innocent...
But that doesn't mean that they're not bad.
They just haven't done anything...
Criminal.

Yet.
Am I standing up for people who do all of these horrible things? No. I'm really not. I'm not saying that doing bad things is okay.
I'm just saying that bad things will keep happening because that's what people are like.
As long as humans exist, this world will never truly be peaceful. Something will always be happening.
Then again. It's my opinion. It's how I see the world and the people in it.
If you see it differently, good for you.
But don't try and change my opinion.
I'll change it myself when I want to. When I see something that's worth me changing what I believe.
Jun 2020 · 222
Stress
Ruheen Jun 2020
That's what's gonna **** me,
Stress;
A little
Less;
The middle of a
Mess;
I should really stop saying
Yes;
'Cause that's what's gonna **** me,
And now I'm dead.
But let's
Keep this
To myself.
...exams.
May 2020 · 438
Bite
Ruheen May 2020
I don't bite...
Hell.
These days
I don't even bark.

No bite, no bark, nothing.

Being tired tires you.

Plus.

I got nothing to bite.
Exam week. Ugh.
May 2020 · 272
Grey
Ruheen May 2020
I put up pictures on my wall...
Black and white
Just like this
Life
But then I
Realized
That none of them
Were
Black and
White
Or the lonely
Type
Just
Shades of grey
Side by side
And then I
Realized
That even I
Look
Better
In
Grey.
Grey? Gray?
Honestly, I gave up on caring about the difference. It's a word. A colour between black and white. That's all I need to know.
May 2020 · 259
Unchanged
Ruheen May 2020
The wind changes directions.
The seasons change the weather.
The leaves change colours,
Even as they fall.
The clouds change shapes.
The sky changes stars
The rain changes the pressure
As it falls.
They all move
And change,
Their faces.
But the roots of a tree,
Remain
Unchanged.
...
May 2020 · 101
Eternal Loneliness
Ruheen May 2020
Even the Sun will die,
Not in a lifetime,
But sometime,
One day.
Even the Gods have cried,
For a long time
Sometime,
Long ago.
'Cause everything has faded away,
Our love, our hope, our fear
But some things just seem to stay
We are forever...
Forever gone.
We are eternal...
Eternally alone.
Everything good dissipates
Like colours in the wind,
But things that only cause us pain
Stay.
We are eternal.
We are alone.
We may die,
But our memories don't.

Eternal loneliness...
How can I bear with it?
...
May 2020 · 153
Butterfly
Ruheen May 2020
A butterfly is flying
But then it falls.
Because a butterfly
Can't fly for long
Without its wings,
Or is it its legs?
Its eyes.
Its colours.
Nevermind.
A butterfly is flying
But then it falls.
Because no one can fly
For long
If they're already
Gone.
Happy Mother's Day!
Apr 2020 · 505
Thank You
Ruheen Apr 2020
Thank you for giving me nothing
'Cause if you had given me everything
I would have to
Give you
Everything back
And we both know
I'm too lazy for that.

Thank you for leaving
'Cause if you had stayed
I would have to
Stay too
And we both know
I'm too restless for that.

Thank you for hating me
'Cause if you had loved me
I would have to
Love you
Back
And we both know
I'm too selfish for that.

Thank you for giving up
When you had the chance
'Cause if you had tried
I would have
Never realized
How crazy I am.
Yeah, I'm gone.
I don't think this is about a person. I mean, there isn't anyone that I would want to say this too. So I don't think it's about a person.
I don't know. Maybe it is. Maybe I just haven't realized it yet.
I don't know.
Apr 2020 · 181
Gone With The Wind
Ruheen Apr 2020
Gone with the wind.
My memories,
My feelings,
My heartache,
The headache,
Replaced,
With laughter,
Excitement.
No room for
Silence.
The confining
Spaces
That I
Always hated.
The sharpened
Anxiety
That left me
In ecstasy.
When I spoke
With sobriety,
The society
That watched me,
Left me in pieces,
For reasons
They will never
Explain.
It's changed.
How much?
How long?
Will it go back?
It never lasts,
Because the wind always comes back,
With more to give.
More than I asked.
And the wind will always return,
And it will bring
Back all the chains I earned.

Gone with the wind.

I'm trapped in the wind.
Because the wind will never stay gone.
A momentary burst of inspiration. I don't know.
Apr 2020 · 187
A Story to Tell
Ruheen Apr 2020
~

The bad parts of an experience are what make the best stories.
No one wants to hear you say 'I had a nice time. It was great.' And so on.
They don't want to hear the same thing over and over again.
They want a story no one else can tell them.
If all you experience is good things, you won't have a story to tell.


~
My teacher said this to me once. I agree.
Also, this is a kind of explanation for Underrated. It's why I think demons have a story to tell; why they're more interesting.
Apr 2020 · 209
Rebel
Ruheen Apr 2020
Today is the day I rebel
Against everything
I've ever known and felt

Today is the day I cut off
My feelings from my head
So they don't interfere

But maybe I wanna wait
Till tomorrow,
So I can say bye.
...
Apr 2020 · 466
Ugh
Ruheen Apr 2020
Ugh
I think I'm good at it,
And I am for a while,
But then I see a problem
And I just can't figure it out.
I don't know what to do.
So then I realize maybe
I'm not that good at it.
I'm not that smart maybe.
And then I wonder
Is it just me?
It is everyone?
Or am I just stupid?
Because I used to be good at it.
It used to be easy,
But now, I never know what to do.
It's so hard.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I hate Math.
Did I get you? I was talking about Math the entire time. :)
Apr 2020 · 761
Disposable
Ruheen Apr 2020
Castles are only walls
made to look pretty.
Kingdoms can only fall
because they aren't that pretty.
You treasure decorations
over things that
do their job.
Because
they are disposable
and beauty
is not.
...
Apr 2020 · 123
so tired
Ruheen Apr 2020
I've been so tired lately, so
please have mercy on me
I'm so tired of waiting
for something to happen
to me
or near me
just something
so I can
wake up again
and say all the bad things
I say to myself
it's the only way
I can feel
I've been so tired lately, so
I'm too tired to hate me.
Losing my mind over here. But the one thing that made me smile was my poem Underrated. It got selected!
Still going crazy, though.
I was going to post this a few days ago. Guess I forgot.
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