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Ruheen Dec 2018
It's a new year,
So new beginnings.
I'm still here,
But things will be different.

In with the new,
Out with the old.
My only resolution:
Stay warm when cold.

Who knows?
Maybe this year'll be fun?
Happy new year,
To everyone!
Happy New Year! Things don't feel different, but I'm gonna make sure they will be. Enjoy your year!
Also, I have a question. See if you can answer it. What did I mean when I said: Stay warm when cold???
Ruheen Mar 2019
It's been 48 hours
Since I had you

It's been 48 hours
Since I saw you

It's been 48 hours
Since I felt you

And in those 48 hours
I realized how much I hate you
2 days. 48 hours of relative happiness. It wasn't all happy, but better than most days. Something's better than nothing.
Ruheen Mar 2019
Like the deep blue waters.
You flooded my heart and mind.
And like sand stuck to me.
You never leave.
Either way,
You surround me.
Could be about a person or something more. Something worse.
Take it how you want it.
Ruheen Mar 2019
Everything is cold.
I'm cold.
And scared.
I just don't know what to do.
Those words broke me,
Pieces.
That's all I am.
And I'm afraid that's all I'll ever be.
...
Ruheen Nov 2019
Are we going to be
Dust?
Or shadows?

Will we be in the
Clouds?
Or the shallows?

Should we watch
From above?
Or below?

Will we fly
Or sink?

Will we laugh
And drink?

When the stars
Blink?

Will we cry
When they say goodbye?

Are we going to be
Cold?
Or just alone?

I want to know
When we die
Where do we go?
We could die today, in the next hour. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. Or maybe even the one after that. It doesn't really matter when or how. I just wonder what happens next. Do we stay six feet under or do we go somewhere else?
Ruheen Mar 2019
A lie will never become the truth.
And that is true to some extent.
However, to a person who does not know it is a lie,
For them it is the truth.
And if you believe enough in a lie,
It may start to become a reality.
Not all lies, but some.
Nevertheless, a lie will always remain a lie.
Even if one does not know it.
Something to think about.
See?
This is how good I am at lying.
Ruheen Jul 2018
I can hear their whispers
Even when they think I can't
The rumours they spread
The lies they tell

It keeps on going on
And on
And on
I can't make it stop
It won't stop
It's driving me insane

But it's all that I hear

I see them looking at me with disgust
Because of the way I dress
They give me titles all day, everyday
Because of my intellect

It can go on
And on
And on
For as long as it wants
It may drive me insane
But I couldn’t care less

Even if it’s all that I hear
Ruheen May 2019
I realized I'm quite lonely,
But I'm fine with it.
Because if having friends means
Being associated
With people like them,
Then I'd rather just be alone.
Something happened. I'm glad it did.
Ruheen Jun 2019
You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
But please give it back.
She needs it.
She needs it to feel.
Without it,
How can she love?
How can she be loved?
It's been so long,
Since she felt something real.
Since she was surrounded by people.
People who cared.
She can't do it alone anymore.
She's waiting for her one day.
So take it.
Take her heart,
But please, I'm begging you to give it back.
Said I would do more of these.
Now it's a very lonely burst of inspiration ;)
Ruheen Feb 2019
I feel like writing, but I don't know what to write.
Sorry.
I guess I don't have much to tell.
It's been a long day,
And I think,
I'm about to have an even longer night.
Can't sleep. Too much work. Too much stress. Too much worrying. I have a lot to do.
23/02/19
Ruheen Jul 2019
You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
But she'll want it back.
Even after everything she's done,
She's still human.
She doesn't want to be cold.
She's just trying to be strong.
So, if there's so much as even a crack,
She'll come.
She's been through too much,
Changed too much,
To give up,
The only thing holding her together.
She did because she needed validation,
From all the wrong people.
Her heart can't break anymore.
So take it,
Take her heart,
But trust me, she'll come to get it back.
I was thinking.
You just have to see the other side.
Ruheen Feb 8
Am I okay?
You keep asking
I keep saying
The same thing

I don't know anymore

I'm spiralling
And then I'm calm
And then I don't know
Again

In a hurricane
Stuck in the middles
Everything's rushing
Around me
And I can't think about it

I'm spiralling
And then I can breathe again
But not for long
'Cause then I don't know again

I don't know anymore

Am I okay?
You keep asking
I keep saying
The same **** thing

So am I okay?
You tell me
How do I feel?
Because
You do it anyway.

Am I okay?
Are we okay?
Are any of us,
Ever okay?
Tell me now,
So I can practice
Not being okay.
Um...yeah...ok
Ruheen Apr 2019
I'm not excited.
Nor am I nervous.
Not exactly worried, either.

Just plain scared.
Scared of what's going to happen.
Of what's not going to happen.
Just plain scared.
Ruheen Feb 2019
Home is where the heart is.
Home is with family.
I believed that for a long time.
Until I realized it was wrong.
Home is wherever you can be you.
Where you feel most comfortable.
A place you can go running to.
Wherever you feel safe and understood.
Home is wherever you want it to be.
I just wish I had
A place I could call home.
Wrote this a long time ago. Didn't have the courage to post it until now.
Ruheen Apr 2019
A puzzle isn't complete without all its pieces.
Just like how my soul isn't complete without you.
Could be about a person or something worse. Said it before, saying it again.
Ruheen Jul 2018
"Are you okay?" They ask.
I think "I don't know. Am I?",
But instead I say "I'm okay."
It doesn't matter if I'm not
Because that's all I'll ever say.

"Are you okay?" They ask.
I force on a smile and nod,
But I'm not okay.
My eyes constantly water,
And my head always pounds,
While my thoughts become dark.

Somehow they can't see it.
See me flinch everytime I move.
Why would they?
I'm excellent at hiding things.

"Are you okay?" They ask.
"I'm okay." Is my reply.
But guess what.
I lied.
As they say "It's for your own good..."
Ruheen Jun 2019
You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
And you can keep it.
You can stomp on it,
Break it into a million little, tiny pieces.
Do whatever you want.
She doesn't need it anymore.
She prefers to be dead inside.
Prefers to be numb.
Because feeling sad is overwhelming.
It's painful.
It's hard.
It's tiring.
She's tired.
So take it.
Take her heart,
Because it's too exhausting keeping it.
Might make more of these.
A burst of very sad inspiration.
Ruheen Apr 20
~

The bad parts of an experience are what make the best stories.
No one wants to hear you say 'I had a nice time. It was great.' And so on.
They don't want to hear the same thing over and over again.
They want a story no one else can tell them.
If all you experience is good things, you won't have a story to tell.


~
My teacher said this to me once. I agree.
Also, this is a kind of explanation for Underrated. It's why I think demons have a story to tell; why they're more interesting.
Ruheen Mar 3
You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
And you can help fix it.
Give it something
So that it has more energy.
So that it can feel more.
She can't feel with her head.
It's too direct.
Too predictable.
But she's too tired to fix things.
She just wants to sleep,
Before her mind overloads,
And there's nothing left.
She's tired of using her mind,
But she doesn't care.
So take it.
Take her heart,
She doesn't use it anyway.
Haven't done one of these in a while.
I liked this series.
Ruheen Aug 2019
You wash out the bodies
Hang up on a line
Pin 'em up so very high
And wait for the blood to dry

Iron them out
Straight as can be
Rough, but smooth
Not a wrinkle, or crease

Grab your knife
And cut it up
See the results
They should be enough

Now, fold them up
And pack away
Lock the doors
To keep 'em safe
I swear I'm crazy. I just compared dead bodies to clothes. *shudder*
Ruheen Apr 2019
I'm just an average person,
Capable of only being average.
Doing only average things.
And average is never ideal.
Especially in the world we live in.
So I gave up.
I gave up on being average.
I don't care if people see me as ordinary or ideal.
I care about how I see myself.
And I want to see the best version of me
Nothing going on with me, except for the fact that I am a broken mess who cannot be fixed, just like half the world.
I'm just simply ordinary.
But I don't care. I may be a broken mess, but I know I'm capable of doing more.
I may not show it, but in my mind, the war I've been fighting has already long been lost.
I gave up a long time ago. I've never settled on being average, so I gave up trying.
Ruheen Oct 2019
I talk to myself

So I can think to myself,
And so I think to myself,

What a horrible world.

'But why does it seem so pretty?'

Because beauty is the best disguise
For something so ugly inside.

The horrors of this world are a well-kept secret.
They are, aren't they?
It's the horror within the beauty can harm us the most.
Even more than just the horror alone.
Ruheen Nov 2018
Darkened skies.
Grey clouds.

Waiting for the weather's cry.
It's going to be loud.

Rain falls.
Sun's far away.

That's not all,
Because the rainbow escaped.

Cold moon.
Dim stars.

It's about to end soon.
The ending's not too far.
It's raining right now, heavily, might I add. I got inspired.
I love the rain, but it also makes me sad sometimes. Especially when I'm in the mood for happy time (RARE) and I want a bright, sunny day.
It really does sound like the sky's angry. Zeus' got his ******* in a twist - again.
I love the darkness of it. But a bright day isn't too bad either.
Ruheen Jun 2019
There's beauty in pain
In tears
In scars
In fear

There's beauty in love
In war
In hope
In soul

There's beauty in woes
In sorrow
In smiles
In tomorrow

There's beauty in flaws
In mistakes
In glory
In fakes

There's beauty in Night
In Day
In you
Every single way

There's beauty in everything
Because everything is beautiful.
Sorry for disappearing. Stuff happened. I cried. You know, the usual :)
Ruheen Jan 28
I don't care enough about me
Because they don't care at all about me
Because I laugh too much when it hurts
And I cry too much when it doesn't
But they don't see it
Maybe because they don't want to see it
Because I'm too much to handle
Because they think I'm crazy
Just because.
...
Ruheen Aug 2018
Even after everything you've done.
I'm still ready to forgive you.
Still ready to help you.
Why?
Because I'm human.
Forgive others. Not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. - Unknown.
Ruheen 4d
Don't let the bed bugs bite...
Even though they're crawling
All over you.

Don't let the raindrops win...
Even though they're
Surrounding you.

Don't let the windows shine...
Even though they can
Always see you.

Don't let the bed bugs bite...
Because even when you're
Holding your pillow tight...

They still come and snuggle up by your side.
...figure it out. I'm going to sleep
Ruheen Jan 2019
Look through her eyes.
What do you see?
Do you see her burn,
In her memories?

Look through her eyes.
Watch her sleep.
She knows where we are.
And she knows about me.

Look through her eyes.
And fake a smile so sweet.
But remember what she did.
When they both swapped bodies.

Look through her eyes.
Do you see the fear?
Do you see him coming?
He's ever so near.

Look through her eyes.
Look through her dreams.
Find the second door,
Before he kills me.
Based on the book 'Behind Her Eyes' by Sarah Pinborough. I absolutely loved this book, and recommend it to anyone who loves a good plot twist.
Ruheen Aug 2018
Who knows?
Who knows what's beyond us?
Beyond the simple minds
Of average humans.

We can only do so much.
Ruheen May 30
I don't bite...
Hell.
These days
I don't even bark.

No bite, no bark, nothing.

Being tired tires you.

Plus.

I got nothing to bite.
Exam week. Ugh.
Ruheen Jul 2018
Bitter cries, loud sobs
Faded tears, make it stop

Bitter taste, salted cheeks
Sweet lips, let me be

Bittersweet, open wounds
Lost fears, in empty rooms

Bitter cries, bitter taste,
Bittersweet, it’s all fake

Bitter cries, bitter cries
Please just leave with all your lies

Bitter taste, bitter taste
I want you gone, but I miss your grace

Bittersweet, bittersweet
Without you here, I feel incomplete

Bitter cries, bitter taste
Bittersweet, my heart’s encased
Ruheen Jan 2019
Black rose,
There's no hope.
The colors fade away.
All there's left is pain.

Black rose,
Let it go.
There's nothing else left.
Watch the flower melt.

Black rose,
Don't you know?
Don't be crying.
Create a silver lining.

I'd rather be dead,
Than stuck in my head.
Drained of color.
It can't get any duller.

Like a black rose,
I let it grow.
I let the darkness
Engulf me long ago.
...
Ruheen Nov 2019
What I hear every day.
Not just around me,
But in my head too.
People need to shut up sometimes.
Ruheen Nov 2019
There is blood
Dripping from my lips
'Cause I bit my tongue too hard

I got a hit
And a miss
'Cause I got bad aim and I went too far

There is air
Leaving my lungs
'Cause I feel too much too fast

Now I can't laugh
For a month
'Cause I want my oxygen to last

There is blood dripping from my lips
And the drops fall like rain
Making patterns on the carpet

Let the blood fall from my lips
The air will come right after
And I don't care

Let it drip
We've all got to fall
And I think this is it.
You heard me. Rather you read me....nevermind.
Ruheen May 2019
If you see a girl reading,
And she is lost in that world of words,
Do not get up and bother her,
For you are blocking
Her path of escape
Into a world where people are allowed
More than a few moments of happiness.
So let her stay
Away from this world, we call reality,
Because that may be all she has.
Seriously, do not bother me when I am reading, otherwise, I will burn you alive.
Or I'll drain your body of blood and hang it up somewhere for all to see, kind of like a warning.
Or   I'll poison you with laundry detergent and watch as you throw up blood.
Or I'll just repeatedly slash at you with a butcher's knife until your face becomes unrecognizable.
Or.....if you're a guy, I'll just simply kick you where it hurts the most.
AND if you're a girl, I'll just make your life a living hell - rumours, secrets, drama, you know the usual.
:)
How's that? Too much?
Ruheen Nov 2019
One or the other,
I don't know.
I've stopped caring.
I have. Nothing really gets to me anymore.
Ruheen Dec 2018
I'm as whole as my heart,
Even if it's frozen.
But I've got cracks on my surface.
That show you I'm broken.

But broken ice is still cold,
So broken people can be too.
Broken ice is still ice.............
Ruheen Aug 2019
Like a melody
On repeat
I hear everything but you

A broken piece
You never need
Maybe I don't want to

A musical whim
One I can't sing
Tell me it's true

I want to know if you're worth it
Tell that you deserve it
Help me believe you

I really want to.
You know how a broken record repeats everything? In this case, I'm a broken record. I keep repeating my mistakes. Can't seem to get rid of them.
Ruheen May 10
A butterfly is flying
But then it falls.
Because a butterfly
Can't fly for long
Without its wings,
Or is it its legs?
Its eyes.
Its colours.
Nevermind.
A butterfly is flying
But then it falls.
Because no one can fly
For long
If they're already
Gone.
Happy Mother's Day!
Ruheen Dec 2019
Let bygones be bygones
But when the blood is on your hands
You win some
You lose some
And then it goes wrong

Let bygones be bygones
Forget it even happened
But memories
And feelings
Don't fade away so easily

Let bygones be bygones
But when it goes wrong
It's your weight to bear
You will lose it all
Because life isn't fair.
You can forgive, never forget. It's a constant loop in your head. A reminder, to never make that same mistake again.
Ruheen Apr 2019
Like a burning candle,
I melt.
Disappear right before your eyes.
Gone before you even notice.
                              That flicker you see
                                  The moment of hesitation
      Is me almost not wanting to leave
                 Almost
                                            I'll burn you
 Within a few seconds
                                       I'll burn down myself
     Within another
             Touch me and
                                          All you'll feel is pain
                                                            ­       I'm cold at first
                   But only because I'm so dangerous
                I'll hurt you,
Which is something I just don't want to do.
Well....yeah I have nothing to say. Make of it what you will.
Ruheen Oct 2019
Not a coffin,
A little more elegant.
A little more stylish.
But it still holds a body all the same.
Metaphor. Sort of.
Ruheen Jan 18
Water sticks to the sides.
A little push
And it falls.

Letters that go out at night.
A little slip
And it's gone.

Ropes that fray at the ends.
A little pull
And nothing.

Pencils that are too sharp.
A little pressure
And it breaks.

People that are close to the edge.
A little shove
And they disappear.
Makes sense. I think.
Ruheen Jan 2019

I'm a chameleon.
But I change
so much,
and it's been
so long,
that I forgot
what color I
started with.
I'm a chameleon.
Now the
colors flow,
and eventually,
they start to
blend
together.
I used to be
a rainbow.
I'm a chameleon.
The colors
fade away.
Leaving me
behind.
Now underneath
it all,
you can only
see,
Plain, old me.
I'm a chameleon.
It's who I am.
Even though
the colors
disappeared,

I never will.

.
Ruheen Aug 2019
A lost king alone in his palace.
A king who made mistakes,
And lives in debt.
He drove them away.
Ruined his home,
Soon to be killed,
Old and frail.
Repays day by day,
By remaining lonely.
It's a small price to pay,
For all he's caused.
The games he's played.
He drove away his Queen, now. Didn't he?
Don't they?
Let her fight for him.
Ruheen Sep 2019
The pawn
The soldier.
The warrior.
And the first to die.
Used by his king.
Killed by his enemies.
Remembered by no one.
In a kingdom,
Where the royals prevail,
There is no room
For a measly soldier.
Rougher than a knight.
Weaker than a bishop.
Shorter than a rook.
And powerless against all.
The pawn protects,
Everyone but himself.
Such wasted talent.
Ruheen Sep 2019
Looks like she has more power than the king,
But the king rules all,
She's just a doll.
Sit there, look pretty,
When he asks for it, lie.
Sit there, look pretty,
When they come for him, die.
She has more freedom than the king,
As well as less protection,
She's just a decoration.
Stand tall, talk short,
Let him make all the decisions.
Stand tall, talk short,
Wait for him to close the curtains.
Bound by her duty.
Can't escape the ruling.
By his side, or by his feet.
Doesn't matter, it's just meant to be.
She's going to sit there, look pretty,
She's going to stand tall, talk short,
But she's going to fight for them, walk freely,
Because she knows it's all for her to keep.
Said I would make more. And I did.
This one's longer.
Ruheen May 2019
Too many
Too little
So much time
Not enough time
There's two
So you have two
There's one
So you have none
                                                            ­                                Overwhelming
                    ­                                                                 ­                              Or
                                                              ­                                                Calm
            ­                                                                 ­                                  Easy
                                                            ­                                                       Or
                                                                ­                                              Hard
              ­                                                                 ­                    Unbearable
                                                      ­                                                             Or
                                                                ­                                     Endurable
                                                       ­                                         Unbelievable
                                                                ­                                                   Or
                                                                ­                                         Possible
                                                        ­                                         Unbreakable
                                                     ­                                                              Or
                                                                ­                                         Delicate
You have to choose
Even if you don't want to choose
Because you have a choice
Even if you don't know you have a choice

                                                                                                     Indecisive
                                                                                                                   Or
                                                                                       Just not right now
                                                                                                  Life is hard.
It really is.
Ruheen Dec 2018
It's Christmas.
I should be happy today.
Just this once.
Merry Christmas! Enjoy your day! And....I'll try to enjoy mine. This is going to be hard.
Ruheen Mar 10
I don't want to do anything
.
.
.
Because I can't see
Past the trees
That stand in my way

It's too dark
They're too tall
And everything looks the same

I'm going round in circles
And everyone keeps telling me it's worth it
I'm going round in circles
And I still don't believe it

I'm going round in circles
Nothing is changing
Everything is spinning
And it's still hurting

I'm going round in circles
I just wanna go straight
So I see the light in the tunnel
And I go towards it

I'm going round in circles
.
I just want to get somewhere
.
But I'm a little dizzy
.
So, instead, I'll just stay here
.
.
.
...
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