I lived at home so long
And then one move away
Makes home feel wrong
My new place I want to stay

Away from my old problems
I don't want to go back
A new experience blossoms
I finally feel on track

This new life feels better
Home isn't home anymore
The sun shines brighter
Allowing me to explore

Despite forgetting my roots
I am someone I want to be
Eating from life's fruits
To experience life fully

If we're angels in life
We get to live with them
In heaven with no strife
To life eternal, we come

In life what I did sadly
Wasn't what made an angel
I did what made me happy
In the end fate was cruel

Continue what I'm doing
And I'd be sent to hell
My sins began accruing
But my soul I won't sell

Those I love, act the same
So we are not perfect
To win heaven's game
Our beliefs we must forfeit

How can heaven be so great
If my friends can't follow
I'd rather have hell as my fate
Than go to heaven hollow

Sometimes when I think
About people struggling
Pushed to the brink
I feel nothing
This isn't anything old
All I feel is cold

Emotion is fleeting
Happiness absent
Despair receding
My mind stagnant
Soul has been sold
All I feel is cold

Nothing is what's left
Gone are life's sparks
But I am not dead yet
A walking corpse
Emptiness uncontrolled
All I feel is cold

Why just rise
When you can ascend
Words we cry
So much meaning to lend

Impact is our goal
To leave craters
All in your soul
With words greater

Don't say what you mean
Mean what you say
Do more than dream
Go beyond pray

Go be heard
Listeners listen
Here is my word
I'm done wishing

Each word impacting
So fast, no friction
Before you even reacting
To my brilliant diction

Acting to please others
Yet why even try?
Most end up bothers
Rest quickly say goodbye
It's always a lot of stress
To try and always impress

There are too many people
To care about every person
But in my back like a needle
Is a need for acception
I end up becoming a mess
Trying to always impress

I can feel their eyes
Judging my every move
As if they're more wise
Myself I have to prove
I am their slave, I confess
Always trying to impress

Except this is all in my head
I need to stop creating strife
So I matter when I'm dead
To those who care about my life
But to truly end this distress
I must be the first one I impress

A reckless nature, the seed of disaster
Impulsive at heart, chaos flowing
In a world of mayhem I am master
My first instinct always showing
Who cares it's not my bullet bit
All because I feel like it

The universe even knows the truth
That to stay alive we need chaos
To create disorder and keep our youth
Destroy harmony, the fool's oasis
I hate this world, every piece meant to fit
All because I feel like it

Entropy a euphemism for discord
Actions meant to dictated by instinct
A message so loud it brings down the Lord
From his seat he creates order so distinct
I feel compelled to make even his will submit
All because I feel like it

It’s madness that’s come over me
To want to break the perfect machinery
That moves like a mind in harmony
It’s a want for a change in scenery
For a need is too easy to permit
All because I feel like it

Is it a sin to live and act on a whim?
To forgo all thought and just do
Thinking leads to an outcome grim
Even if logic says I’ll come through
I’d rather blank and go for the hit
All because I feel like it

Impulsiveness is known to be for fools
But for me it’s an escape from reality
For I become different than the tools
That move the machine so carefree
I continue to act my way, never quit
All because I feel like it

Every moment is so small and brief
Yet is worth more than one can fathom
Sometimes joy, other times grief
A lot of the time it can be random

I wonder if the bad and good balances
And everyone is meant to live equally
Thinking like that has consequences
And I don’t have time for that really

So I choose to be selfish, make life mine
To make myself more important than others
If it all leads to happiness, isn't that fine?
Can I float along, not a leaf but as a feather?

I wake up to shadows
My body unable to move
Panic begins to set in
These visions inhuman

My eyes are barely open
I can see them moving
I'm awake it seems
Yet I'm still in a dream

The shadows move closer
They shift and whisper
I wonder what they say
As I panic where I lay

Here I realize something
How good it feels to choose
What happens around me
And how I shape my reality

Creativity and art
Come from the unhinged
The insanity, the beast
Our unchained selves

Only when we truly see
Beyond norms and regularities
Outside the everyday mundane

Does the beauty so magnificent
Comes absolutely

Terrifying

All of these eyes on me
I want to disappear
With nothing to see
But still be here

I can feel the taping
As messages are sending
All the cameras snapping
The eyes never relenting

How can I be guided
When I can't find closure
By getting reminded
Of all my failures

Everything is permanent
And I can't escape
When I'm sinking in concrete
With everyone on tape

I want to disappear
And live how I want to
I want to live freer
Act in a way that's true

It's easy to say
That I would die for you
When I'm far from death

It's easy to say
I'll do anything for you
When there's nothing to do

It's easy to say
"I promise"
When there's nothing to break

It's hard to say
I'll live for you
When there's nothing left

It's easy to say
No one understands me
When I don't even explain

It's easy to feel
The world breaking around me
When I don't even try to fix it

It's easy to see
What's wrong
When I close my eyes to what's right

It's easy to hear
You can't do it
When I tell myself that

It's hard to believe
Someone can love me
When I can't love them back

It's easy to ask
What's wrong with people
When I'm not asking myself that

It's easy to bully
And put them down
When I am afraid of getting hurt

It's easy to blame home
And say it's my family's fault
When I'm not there to be loved

It's easy to punch
And say they deserved it
When I'm the one that deserves it

It's easy to not listen
And say they don't know
When really I'm the one lost

It's hard to stop
Lashing out at people
When people look at me

*like I'm a monster

It's easy to forget
That there's good in the world
When all we're shown is the problems

It's easy to realize
There's evil in the world
When we're taught only to fight it

It's easy to ignore
That enemies are people too
When we paint them as monsters

It's easy to pretend
Like what we're doing is good
When we think we're always right

It's hard to remember
That to bring people together
You need to learn to love them

It's easy to forget
Who you truly are
When you're trying to be someone you're not

It's easy to live
A life with no worry
When you choose not to care

It's easy to pretend
Like you have no problems
When you don't solve any

It's easy to blame others
For life's woes and worries
When you look away from the mirror

It's hard to love yourself
And the life you live
When you don't know who you are

It's easy to go to sleep
And say everything's okay
When you don't cry anymore

It's easy to be comforted
By friends that care
When the bond is built on pity

It's easy to get back up
After falling down
When the hole isn't that deep

It's easy to be sad
And cry out for help
When help is always there

It's easy to ignore your problems
And pretend it's ok
When someone else is solving them

It's hard to change
And become someone better
When you think nothing's wrong

Cracked and broken,
Pieces scattered,
From a dream awoken,
To being shattered,
Broken from what I lack,
I can feel every crack.

Each piece has a story,
Of life, in of itself,
Some times of glory,
Others of poor health,
All these memories on my back,
It's no wonder I crack.

So instead I pull together,
And fill in what's missing,
With gold and put pressure,
Until all the cracks glisten,
Now I stand up, broken,
But within gold is woven.

It takes three things to be happy
This life decides to torture us though
Two at a time it says, a thing of cruelty
For we only get to give life one go
Because of this impossible is serenity
Time, money, and energy

We begin life with an open mind
All the time we need to run free
Fast as we have energy combined
But to go at all we must pay a fee
With money we don’t have you see
Time, money, and energy

Now we are older and working
All this money to spend on us
Still have our youth to keep running
But no time, back to work we must
Caged by responsibility no longer free
Time, money, and energy

Life coming to a close, show ending
We have our fortune earned and ready
No more work, time to be spending
Alas no more energy to keep steady
Our bones ache, our youth lost at sea
Time, money, and energy

Is happiness made to be impossible?
Well that’s the funny thing really
Happiness is easily the most affordable
With 2 colours we can paint life artfully
Creating our happiness, a thing of beauty
Time, money, and energy

It's hard being the small guy
When you always have to be the bigger person

Following friends and family one moment
Next alone in a crowd,
Where have they gone, what have I done?
What can I do, where can I go?
Spin in circles hoping for a glimpse
Lost and alone I wander,
As I walk people laugh and have fun
I can do that no longer, not here
For I am lost and can't find my way

We go through each day
Wondering our purpose
Some ponder, others pray
Few actually sate this lust

These few don't look
They don't search forever
For their meaning in a book
Or their reason in another

These are few souls
That take what they possess
Their passion and goals
And make it their purpose

We were so close
A friend in life
Who could take my woes
And cut them with a knife
Yet I was a flake
I want to mend this mistake

I chased others
Who said they'd stay
Then flew like feathers
The very next day
My heart they take
I want to mend this mistake

I missed your presence
The way we smiled
We were a menace
Living life wild
For our own sake
I want to mend this mistake

Then one day you spoke
And still cared for me
You fixed what I broke
And I felt so happy
Now I lie awake
Mended is my mistake

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The future awaits me
I can't wait for it
Success for all to see
But then I trip
Looking at a mountain
The peaks I was counting

On the ground I lay
The dirt I breath in
In a state of decay
Pondering my sin
Molehills I didn't inspect
At my feet I neglect

Living in the future
Causes death in the present
Our intentions pure
Still we have our descent
For the roots we forget
For dreams we don't have yet

A leaf needing to the found
Is picked up by the breeze
The leaf now safe and sound
The wind continues, moving with ease
Dancing with the leaves
Like a current, my body weaves

Through the sky it flows
Not caring about who sees
Twirls and spins as she goes
Free of pain and disease
Ready to fly, an idea it conceives
Like a current, my body moves

It starts down to the ocean
To help move ships
Its moves creating a commotion
The onlookers awed by the tricks
Elegant and graceful, it perceives
Like a current, my body moves

It flows, stepping around gracefully
Each movement made with passion
A dancer at heart we see truly
No second thought in action
In each gesture she believes
Like a current, my body moves

My self worth is not mine
It is defined by those around
If they're happy it's fine
Even if I'm drowned
Sinking in this cement
Never can I be content

I adore each friend
Because I see a soul
Pain it will amend
Again make me whole
Stave away my torment
As never can I be content

I cannot always rely
On those around me
To help me get by
And set me free
Self love must be my intent
Or else never can I be content

A student wanting to learn
To love who I am
So I never have to yearn
For help when I stand
I can then invent
My own life of content

Sometimes I'm in the dark
And the night closes in
I live with this mark
Sadness upon my skin
Ask if I'm okay and I want to lie
Because I never want to see you cry

It can get hard to move
My feelings are howling
But your care it does soothe
No longer it feels like drowning
I feel happy and begin to fly
Because I never want to see you cry

The world keeps spinning
And life goes on
Yet just beginning
A new day's begun
I want to go on, ask why
Because I never want to see you cry

Life always somehow hurted
But I have lost all feeling
My emotions I find deserted
So much my mind is reeling
I feel my soul begin to wane
As I realize, I feel no pain

There are times when my soul
Should be black and twisted
But I look and I find a hole
As if the agony never existed
Maybe I've become insane
Because I feel no pain

In my confusion I cut deep
To see if I am truly human
I look and blood begins to seep
Feel the cut where the knife ran
Yet no emotion I gain
Why do I feel no pain?

My mind should be suffering
And my soul should be broken
But all I hear are the leaves rustling
As I look for emotions unspoken
My mind begins to feel the strain
As I cannot fathom why I feel no pain

Life continue its cycle
And more times I should be hurt
But the pain becomes spiteful
Running then hiding in covert
I decide to not wrack my brain
And let it hide as I feel no pain

I'm here counting
seconds, minutes, hours...

So much I forget to make the days count

Oh clouds
How you mock me so
Free as can be
And being is free

Oh clouds
How you fly without care
Any form you take
Is yours alone

Oh clouds
How you cry rain
And send snow
Your emotions free to show

Oh clouds
How I wish I could join
But I'm here on earth
Bound to my duties

Oh clouds
How I hope you the best
Because I'm staying down here
Among those I love

Oh clouds
How lonely it must be
To be up so high
Away from everyone

Oh clouds
How you pay for freedom
With pennies of friendship
So you can live how you want

Oh clouds
How I envy you
Yet for me friendship
Is priceless

We always feel entitled in life
That the world revolves around us
To have everything with no strife
The world bends to us, it must

Except that is not our right
We deserve is what we earn
After we work and we fight
This is what some don't learn

They think life is their's to bend
That they deserve strength and pride
But without work it will be their end
Fueled only by entitlement, they died

Our only God given privilege
Is the right to be happy
To pursue that ambiguous image
All else is earned ultimately

The good life is ours to pursue
No one allowed to stand in our way
Earning our keep is hard, it's true
But our right to life will never go away

A great divide between us
A bridge broken and battered
A love stronger than lust
A hope cracked and shattered

We look across the gap wide and deep
A gap so wide we can't see each other
The other person across scared, waiting
But a feeling of belonging, translating

How did this gap even get here?
Who made it so we can't feel one another
So that we can't love and hold
Each other's lives we want to mold

A bridge we must cross together
A meeting in the middle, two souls
A fear of falling into the ether
A connection to fill in the holes

We begin our walk to the other side
The bridge swaying, creaking as we walk
People follow so we don't go alone
All of us looking for our own home

Then the bridge breaks and we all fall
Going down we scream and cry
As we fall we grasp at what we can
Hoping our lives are more than sand

A gasp of fear and pain
A hand in mine holding tight
A darkness my soul it will stain
A light made by love, creates flight

I begin to write in a diary
My life in of itself
My day to day series
Of what I think of myself

One day the page is bleak
I write of no light
Of pain it reeks
A day of complete blight

I look at it after I'm done
My sorrow in black
It makes me want to run
And never look back

But then I go to bed
Before I make an emotional cage
The next day I awake
And turn the page

Burrowing, digging, feasting on us
A parasite using humanity as a host
Eating at the necessities and essentials
Stealing away your pride and credentials

What it is, is the all knowing dictator, the “man”
The one who points at everyone but himself
A false prophet propped up by influence and money
Got where he is through manipulation so ugly

A hard worker unrecognized
A leader tunneled on wealth
A family poor and despised
A nation swimming in its own filth

People’s portraits painted a certain colour
For other’s to see and blame without reason
Under a veil of justice there is corruption
Down below is the pain of separation

A world dictated by status and privilege
Equality is but a myth, a dystopian notion
The head is corrupt, parasite in control
A body in pain, paying the ultimate toll

A baby crying, now starving
A politician crying, now corrupt
A soul crying, now departing
A flower crying, now plucked

I always thought
If I tried hard enough
And always fought
Then it wouldn't be as rough

That if I shattered
My inner demons
I'd hear their pieces clatter
Left for the vermin

But this time when I swung
I didn't realize
It would be me who broke
*and shattered