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Troy 2d
It hurts to have your heart broken
But when it’s your trust that’s broken
It can be years before you are strong enough
To trust someone else

My trust was broken a few months back
And now that I found another
In which I like so very much
The trust is effecting me

Delusions and hallucinations set in
Causing my mind to panic
I try so hard to push them away
But they keep getting worse

I’m reassured that I’m not a burden
That I’m attractive and liked
But at the same time
My thoughts run ramped

Maybe he’s lying
Maybe he’s talking to other people
Maybe he’s with someone already
Maybe he’s just using you

Maybe he’s seeing multiple people
Maybe he’s this
Maybe he’s that
Thoughts of mistrust running wild

I can’t sleep
I eat everything in sight
Or I don’t eat at all
I cry all the time

I see visions and delusions
Of me cooking him dinner
And someone else coming in
And kissing his cheek calling him babe

And I wonder
Is my head really this bad
Am I going to let the past ruin my future
But yet the hallucinations continue

Visions of him holding someone else
Visions of me saying just take me home
Visions of me breaking down and crying
Visions of me that I wish to unsee

Cause you see
I like this guy
So very much
But this mistrust

Has got to stop
It will eat me alive
And it’s not fair to him
To compare him with the past
Monet Echo May 9
The chill crawls up my spine
Its tendrils of fingers intertwine
I walk a never ending line:
Anxiety that goes on

I stumble forward, determined but weak
I can’t remember how to speak
But from my mouth: a mournful shriek
Will there be a dawn?

Whispers begin to fill the air
They come and go from nowhere
Were they even real? Is nothing there?
Fear has a reek

What brought me to this dark place
What set me on this eternal race
What being or spirit, what face?







Ah, it’s finals week.
A little humor to end off finals week for some of us :) who knew one week could feel so long...
LightToBurn May 7
Robed-guest, I've turned in
Hide daylight's discern to prank
Pixilated eyes
a senryu
Umar sanusi Apr 30
Morrow of yes-terday.
I found myself in the Morrow of Yes-terday.
In the future of the past, it's foriegn to me cause it's never like what I had dreamt in the yesterday.
what are dreams anyway?
If not an extravagant conceit of some imagination, hallucinations, a facade..
It's Not real
nance Apr 16
The wind was tentatively nipping at my skin.
during the car ride in sunny California.
My hand hung outside the window,
which held the ring that I gazed upon;
along with the semi-colon that is inked
upon my wrist.
The scenery changed behind my hand,
but my eyes did not set on anything
besides my hand in the wind of the window.
Until we pulled in.
I looked up and saw the eyes that stared upon me.
Drinking water.
I looked away quickly, focusing my eyes on my hand.
I felt the stare.
I felt yeux.
I glanced and then saw the car drive away.
I tried to keep it in afterward.
The small bit of confrontation after a year.
The recognition.
I let out a sound-
it was between a scream and a choke-
with a word following after to cover up.
The car halted to stop,
the driver asking me
what the hell is wrong.
I stayed silent.
I acted so stupidly.
If I was right-
though it was only a glance-
those eyes were not yours.
They were chocolate,
warm enough to melt someone;
sturdy enough to break with pressure.
Although, yours were an ocean that
could be calm enough to let me
bathe in, to swim in, and to let me
become adjusted in security:
but chaotic enough to swallow me whole;
bang me up against the tide and leave me
breathless.
Inviting, captivating, dangerous, *****.
lovely.
But it looked like you...
did it not?
Was I seeing you for you and I imagined
those eyes the wrong color.
or was it an illusion made by my mind
after working in the sun for a while?
I won't know.
I don't know.
I can't know.
Was it you?
It's 10:00 pm.
I should go to bed.
I have class then work.
I should just forget.
In the moonlight that seeps
into my window for my
room to be illuminated,
I stare.
I stare at my hand upon the ring.
That shines along with the
the mystery of the boy
who made me scream.
Was it you?
Please tell me, I murmur,
for the man in the moon.
True story.
My worst story on here.
No wonder no one sees my poems.
seldom Apr 7
what is love?
is it small
or is it big?
is it red
or is it yellow?
is it daily life
or the dying stars
at night?
is it pure joy
is it a hallucination?
something our minds form
something that doesn't
exist?
is it something we
have to pay for?
something so ****
overrated
that when it comes along
everyone is disappointed
isn't it just
a heartbreak when
you least expect it?
is it actually pain?
love is overrated
love is underrated
depends on how
your life's been going
it gives you
life and death
take your pick
which is worse?
Copyright. Elissar Mustapha
12.11.2018
"is it just a heartbreak when you least expect it" is probably, til this day, my favourite line i have ever come up with.
Elle Vee Mar 11
She sips another cup,
to her it tasted like strawberry,
though bitter.
It was tea.

All she wanted was to dream,
to relax, be in peace.
A wish to float.
It was her reality.

But when she woke,
She felt chaotic,
Thoughts drowning her,
she wants another trip
Empress Asa Feb 5
I have my own world..
Different from the others..

I have my own rules..
It's depending on the situation..

I have my own statement..
It's beyond of my delution..

I like make a sentences with a difficult word to understand..
It's all of my hallucination..
And make my previous life become my imagination...
Then, good night...
Empress Asa Jan 26
I realized that it will be complicated choice..
But, I need this..

I realized that every my movement can make a distance..

I realized that I always alone all alone..

I realized that no one accompany me..

I realized that the voice is doesn't exist..

I realized that you never be my part of my daily life..

I realized that this is just hallucinations..
Isn't correct ???
Adrian Dec 2019
Side to side I look
Hearing the icy taunting voices
Of all these people
Talking behind my back
Ridiculing my every action
My every action is a mistake,
Even staying still is a sin.
My heart pumps my chilled blood,
Faster and faster
Until I feel my veins will burst
My mind runs faster and faster
Filled with terrifyingly venomous thoughts
Now they’re taunting me,
Pointing ambiguous shadowy fingers,
Laughing in deep, echoed unison.
My vision starts to turn as black as the figures.
I want to run
I want to run
I want to run
I cannot run
They will taunt me for running,
They will toss me around,
Taunting me and beating me,
Bruising me all the same.

Collapsing on the icy floor of hell,
My delusions got the better of me.
I covered my head expectantly,
Waiting for it to come.
My face was wet with perspiration.
But it was not perspiration,  
It was my tears,
I was silently sobbing,
Trying not to show them.
They would find out, but I don’t want them to.

The distant black figures are next to me now,
Crowding around me and pointing.
I’m now sure they exist.
Their heaving laughter rings through my ears.
Their breath hitting me with an infernal flame.
Their bodies radiate a subzero aura,
Chilling than heating me just the same.

The shadows start to replace my own reality,
I want them to leave,
I want me to leave,
Neither of us move.

Their ambiguous shape is standing inches away now,
They are still closing in,
Getting ready for the ****.
My delusions are reality now.
I feel I will die when they reach me.

Suddenly it all goes black,
Then brown
Then blue
Then white
I’m curled on the floor.
I remember my delusions and shudder
I try to convince myself that it wasn’t real
But I cannot fight the fear overrunning me
It was too real that time.
I know it only could get worse.
“Fun” hallucination that happened due to an unnoticed mental breakdown in public. I didn’t edit this one so sorry if it’s bad. I call my old (not really this one, it’s kinda new) poems that I didn’t edit raw copies, which means they are probably bad, but it’s good to show that stuff. Relatable poem? Prob not, but there may be a few other nuts (no offense) among this community. Wow this is a train wreck of a desc.
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