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Rochelle R Mar 17
Hey old friend ,
Haven't talked for awhile ,
I saw your face and it made me smile ,
Remembering Long nights ,
The ones where music spoke,
The silence as it comforted us,
I let you see things nobody knows,
Don't know where it went wrong,
Guess there was too much weight to carry,
That's okay darling cause battling two ships can be scary,
I hope you are doing well ,
I hope she makes you laugh,
I hope that God is with you ,
And that these good days last,
So goodbye old friend ,
I hope we meet soon,
And if not in this life again,
Then one where misty gardens bloom.
I thought of you today and cried. Then I found these words and cried again. Some memories hurt to have, but i wouldn’t have it any other way. The briefest time with you, is enough to carry me through. Thanks for being you.
Rochelle R Sep 2018
A single moment,
As minute as the silence before the gasp of each breath,
Can leave us feeling like we’ve swallowed shards of glass.
That is the last pulse, before a heart breaks.
Jun 2018 · 232
Unmarked Grave
Rochelle R Jun 2018
I sit on my bed,
Gaze soft and unfocused.
Wrapped in the remnants of a shirt you left behind.
Or maybe I stole it.
An air conditioned breeze sends a chill through over-sized armholes that expose the flesh of my *******.
It wakes me from my hazy state.
Glancing up, for a moment I see you in this shirt...
But it’s my own reflection
in the mirror directly opposite my bed.
Disappointment washes over me and I let my gaze slide to the window.
Up, I see the summer moon
as the ghost of you fades from the forefront of my mind,
to its rightful home in my subconscious.
You and I are simply not to be.
Fated in another life,
But now our lives are intertwined and intimately connected to others.
This dream is not mine,
nor is it yours, to have.

It is time.
To bury a memory,
a hope,
a dream.
I watch, from the edge of our six foot trench,
As my own hands throw the first earth on an unmarked grave.
‘Twas but a dream
Feb 2018 · 8.4k
Rochelle R Feb 2018
The anguish in this alienating aloneness is alarmingly enlightening
I am aware as the colors of my aura
fade from vibrant to mute
A spiraling sense of self grasps at false promises of hope or help
Each face that shows itself as an ally is simply mirage or ghost
Or wisps of nothingness I probably hallucinated to cope
I am an anchor in a rushing tide
Life floods by with no more than a glance over the shoulder
Some collide from behind urging me to move on, frustrated when I don’t align with their idea of time
I need to be unapologetically ‘not ok’
Imagine my electric shock when I find that’s not an option
The anguish in this alienating aloneness is alarmingly enlightening
Rochelle R Feb 2017
I wished upon a thousand stars
That they would align
And a world would be ours
But the stars are untamably wild
And I couldn't be farther from you
If I was standing on mars
Feb 2017 · 667
Rochelle R Feb 2017

Is a bunch of wild guesses
Strung together with long bouts of monotony
A spiral labyrinth winding endlessly
Round and round and up and down
Dizzy and lost
Desperate for direction
Hopeful for destination
Seeking validation

All while
Jan 2017 · 315
Rochelle R Jan 2017
In forgotten realms of borrowed dreams
You and I were kings and queens
Of stars and open air
Rochelle R Jan 2017
Down in the belly of The Angel of Defeat
You'll find war waging over only Gods know what
And she's not the one fighting for all that is good
She has shadows in her eyes and demons under her red hood
She rages her lupine armies against Paladins armed with The Light
This battle was foreshadowed before mans dawn and laid in the stones this world was built upon
There's no avoiding what the stars have aligned
And this fight won't end until there's either dark

Or light
This is a prologue to a story that sits in my mind
Jan 2017 · 763
A Post Box In The Sky
Rochelle R Jan 2017
I dreamt you wrote me letters with fire
And sent them to the sky
So I could reach up and pluck them out
Like stars in the night
Jan 2017 · 245
In Stillness They Wait
Rochelle R Jan 2017
They are both withered and grey.
Still, they wait.
The rooms here, and there, are silent and the halls are barren.
The paint on the fence has faded and all but chipped away.  
The moons have passed and so have many faces.
With each waning phase their bodies have weakened.
But something grows, so slow and steady it's hard to notice.
Still, they wait.
They have died.
In stillness, they wait.
The saddest folk tale ever told.
Rochelle R Jan 2017
It's cold here, but it heightens her senses. The rustle of the wind in the fallen leaves and the crash of waves on a distant shore tell her she's at home. But this dream is a lie. There is a huntsman on her tail. His mark is untraceable. But to her it's undeniable. He is here. Silent, patient and resolved, her would-be captor knows her as his own reflection. She is aware of intentions, but also of his hesitation. So, in spite of being in his sights, she paces on. Steady, her gaze remains ahead. And though the ranks of cypress trees pass one by one, for what seems to be eternity, the search for her moon moves her on.
I have to believe there are several realities existing at once, on different planes. Or else, this one is cruel.
Rochelle R Jan 2017
It happens when I'm unsuspecting
Painful memories of the most inconsequential things
Slippery glimpses of histories left untold
My breath trips on reminders, catches its self on forbidden thoughts
I find myself stuck-still
Stopped in my track
But I'm shoved forward again by the momentum of a life that doesn't wait for dreams of days that never came
Moving on as if nothing happened
I look over my shoulder
Eyes desperately searching for that ghost
The one left behind by something
Rochelle R Jan 2017
I look up to the moon
Smile a hello
Ask how you're doing
Just to let you know
Here we aren't together
But I never let you go
Jan 2017 · 1.0k
The Darkest Night
Rochelle R Jan 2017
I don't want to look up
At a starless night
Where the moon is absent
And silence deafens the sky
The wolves are mute
On this darkest night
Jan 2017 · 475
Rochelle R Jan 2017
There is a wolf-moon in a starless sky
And were-claws braced to fight
Dec 2016 · 839
Fated (8w)
Rochelle R Dec 2016
Curse the stars!
For ours were not aligned.
May 2016 · 723
Breaking Words
Rochelle R May 2016
I read your words

Don't know what to say
Reality hurts

Won't write you back
Forbidden words

Know it *****
You're better off

(And I)
Have cast me out
May 2016 · 1.2k
Waning Crescent
Rochelle R May 2016
Once I heard somebody say

"Many moons ago"
Referring to the past

It never made much sense to me
There was only one moon I could see

Now you're in the fading phase
Becoming one of many moons I knew
Apr 2016 · 633
The Captive
Rochelle R Apr 2016
When the wind clears the murky haze
That has clouded my eyes for a thousand days
Keeping me chained and confoundedly dazed
I'll emerge freed from the tortured craze
Under the most cloudless sky the sun ever raised
To see my direction lit in the rays

Let's hope this self-reflection stays
Apr 2016 · 385
The Precipice (9w)
Rochelle R Apr 2016
Rage in her veins

The verge of a revolver or revolution, who knows.
Apr 2016 · 416
Decisions (17w)
Rochelle R Apr 2016
She's decidedly in love with the morning moon
And she decided today would be good before noon
Apr 2016 · 625
Forget Me
Rochelle R Apr 2016
I hope you sleep
In a dreamless state
And wake to find you forgot my face.

I hope you swim
In the clearest sea
That rinses you of my memory.

I hope you bask
In the summer rays
Free from my moonstruck craze.
I hope you forget you learned my name.
Apr 2016 · 632
Rochelle R Apr 2016
So together
We are alone

And the stars freckle the night
As separate souls howl for the same light
There are many moons, but this one is mine.
Apr 2016 · 617
Wolf Light
Rochelle R Apr 2016
It isn't dust to dust
But rather dusk to dusk
As the full moon rises
And calls upon her blood lust
Her pupils grow wild and wide
As her chest grows tight
This instinct is animal
A predisposition of flight changes to fight
With hackles drawn and teeth bared
The she-wolf rises
Not a soul will be spared
I'm filled with such an unfamiliar thing. Rage.
Apr 2016 · 484
What (7w)
Apr 2016 · 533
Rochelle R Apr 2016
I hope these words have found you well
Better at least
Than when there was a dream of we
I'd hate to find
That your state is that of mine
Haunted endlessly
By an imagined existence of you and I
Rochelle R Apr 2016
The First
The Serpent
The Water
The venomous black ink
Slithers endlessly
Until she reaches her prey
The Second
The Demon
The Fire
The burning red ember
Watches now
As her victim is drawn to her warmth
The Third
The Conjurer
The Wind
The Shadow Of The Night
Needs only
To exist
And her casualty swarms to her allure
A trifecta binds, seeking
A fourth
The man
The earth
The flesh and the bone
A host and a home
A willing sacrifice
Falling victim to her charm
Silently striding to his own demise
He succumbs completely
She devours wholly
The elements are in order
The black magic witch is born
Apr 2016 · 989
Words Perched Perilously
Rochelle R Apr 2016

The search for words
Leaves me empty and blister-handed
Despair and thought swirl in a voiceless dance
Between my ears and
Any will I've had to speak
Disappears where my breath meets my lips
Guttural instinct has me know
There are things that need to be said
Words to be exchanged
Explanations waiting
Perilously on the edge
Of solving all
And no going back
And yet

Silence. And everything is dead.
Rochelle R Mar 2016
An Autobiography

I rise from another sleepless night
Rinse off yesterday's losses
Put on my shoes
And hats
And walk out someone's front door
I travel the same path everyday
I know it well
It's paved in shells

I go to my job as a performer
I juggle hats you see
I juggle one for love
One for life
One for order
One for peace
And even one for me
I drop a hat now and then
And lately
More now, than then.

And when the hours have passed by
And the stars rise in the night sky
I trudge the shelled path
Right back to the past
The moon will come and go

I'll rise from another sleepless night
And rinse off yesterday's losses
Mar 2016 · 543
Perched and Weary
Rochelle R Mar 2016
I saw you
Perched and weary
Resting near my barred, abandoned soul
I felt your eyes slide into mine
Blackened and worn
Their faded dimness
Pierced through my stone grave home

And two become one
We cleanse each other's sins
In blood
spilled and collected
In our separate trails of dust
I trust the safety
I thought you sought
And felt the same
Terror struck
You waver
But it's late
And I tear through my walls
Let you refuge inside
Watch my demons show
I frighten
You run away

I watch
Perched and weary
You turn to the ghost
Mar 2016 · 601
Rochelle R Mar 2016
A speck
It festers



Raspy voiced  
Less than whispered

Barely noticed
A pesky itch

A twitch

It won't exist

Fade away

The edge is turning grey

The plague is back

And here to stay

In truth
It never really went away
Sep 2015 · 791
No More - 15w
Rochelle R Sep 2015
I wish I could just
Slowly fade and fade
Until I was no more.
Sep 2015 · 962
Hopeless Sea
Rochelle R Sep 2015
Sinking beneath the surface
Of the brackish deep
Swallowing the waters
Of despair
Succumbing to the ocean
Of misery
Soaking up pressure
So endlessly bleak
Drinking in the infinity
Of the black disease
Closing my eyes to
Only escape
Surrendering to the
Demons of stollen light
Swimming to the bottom
Of despondency
I have died
In The Hopeless Sea
Sep 2015 · 972
A Demon Called Ed
Rochelle R Sep 2015
A future projected
I see you have arrived
I know you're here to take from me
Take and take
I understand why
I danced with you, demon
I asked you to play
Now this is the debt I have to pay
I became possessed
Sacrificed individuality
Signed in blood
My life away
Now Demon
Wrap my bones in witches hope
**** my stomach dry
Take my vision
Take my mind
Take it all, it isn't mine
Lie to me
Break promise me
Perfect for eternity
I'll drink it up
Purge my soul
Grow dimmer
With every goal
Shrinking, shriveling, fading fast
Denying logic
Believe my eye
I am a shadow
A mortal ghost
A projection of what I ought to be
There's less of me and more of you
Filling the space where hunger grew
I faulter
Hating you
Loving you
Hating to love you
Fighting you
I always lose
And if I escape
You'll ****** me
I find the thought
Strangely comforting
There's not much left
Perhaps just a shimmer
Of what was old me
Bone dust, and sinners lust
I am not much worth fighting for
So when the reaper greets me
(Demon! Say adieu!)
I'll gladly take his hand
And let him lead me away from you
Sep 2015 · 392
Rochelle R Sep 2015
I am the wasteland.
My chest,
A cavity shoveled empty,
Filled with infinite space,
Devoid of blood and bone,
Is host to cosmos and ghosts.

And where I once had heart,
Black holes,
Punched out and multiplied,
Empty and expanding,
Aching under the weight of eternity,
Riddle the cavity where my soul once lived.

And shackled to the weight of fate, I watch as:
Shovelers and boxers,
 Blind and unaware,
 Consciously choosing not to care,
 Speaking iron words of weaponry,
Turn my body into a canyon.

And as this scene is comes to a close.
My death,
Foreshadowed early on,
Also barren and filled with despair,
Beckoning and luring,
Is clearly laid out on a horizon.

And though it's true I have been hollowed out,
The void,
Absent hope,
Blank and staring over the human race,
With only wisps of thought to run my head,
*Is the comfort I've learned to be.
Aug 2015 · 1.0k
The Great Distance
Rochelle R Aug 2015
There is a great distance
A vastly endless space
A divide that echoes longing
Separating me from you

And within this great distance
Awareness is born
These two entities are destined to be
Their bond infallible

Where is the great distance
Of which I was painfully aware
Now it seems obsolete
We are intangibly connected

There is no great distance
Separating me from you
These words are cerebral and devoid of the emotion they represent. Their honesty paints reality. These words are for you.
Aug 2015 · 897
Rochelle R Aug 2015

Clouds arrive like villains in smiles,
Their threat proudly displayed upon their menacing faces.
The winds are rolling, freshly born.
Waves get restless.
They know a violent cascade is looming.
The impending chaos is tangible.
The cosmos hold their breath.
Time stands still.
Both inciting it
And cowering in it,
Is dominant here.
Lightning flashes a glimpse of what's to come.
Thunder speaks the words we instinctively know.
Calm resonates the precipice of disaster.
A vibration tethered for too long,
Shakes a warning to run.
It's too late.
The eye is focused.
I am the storm.
I am here.
I am a flight risk.
Aug 2015 · 1.1k
Rochelle R Aug 2015
You're the winter, that cools my endless summer.
You're the frost that chills my burning embers.
You're my best friend
My soul's mate
My lover.

You're the stillness that calms my restless soul.
You're the anchor that stops my wandering heart.
You're my best friend,
My soul's mate,
My lover.

You're the moon that lights my starless night.  
You're the space I need to fly.
You're my best friend,
My soul's mate,
My lover.

You're the cosmic wonder for whom I fell.
You're forever, and ever as well.
You're my best friend,
My soul's mate,
My lover.
Aug 2015 · 854
Rochelle R Aug 2015
The ache

There is a longing in me
For you
Resonating deeply
With no release
Freeing me
From the ache
You've made
Of me.

But fear

There's a weapon
Inside me
Proceeding we
A history, a knife
And puncture wounds
The mistakes that are
My life.
Constantly reminding me
Of how sharp I am
By the scars I've left.

So ache

That's all there's left
Of me
Without you.
this is the fortune that comes with me
Jul 2015 · 1.0k
Rochelle R Jul 2015
We collided like a train rushing in from behind,
Your memory and I.
My breath stuck in my throat, unexpectedly.
Tears stinging my eyes, staining my cheeks, involuntarily.
Has your ghost been lingering, shadowed,
Waiting to spring upon me like a serpent in the grass?
Don't tempt me with that shattered past.
I'd gladly place the shards of history's heart back into your hands.
Blatantly disregarding every reserve my mind fires,
Happily risking it all just to taste our youth.
Begone with you phantom! If that's what you are.
Stay only if your monstrosity lingers well into our future.
Rochelle R Jun 2015
I exist in a space somewhere between complacency and sheer panic,
With the very tangible happiness just beyond my reach.
And as my fingers yearn, outstretched and writhing, my mind wonders why bother, let go.
The fact is:
Happiness, though it may be real, was never meant for me.
Apr 2015 · 879
I Am The Hurt
Rochelle R Apr 2015
Sometimes I wander
Up that shadowed path
That is the past
And I let my self wonder
Rather than wander
What would have happened
If I'd strayed left instead of right
At that forbidden fork
And as I gaze into the haze
That is left of best
I see you standing at the end
The sad and silvery ghost of empty promises.
But empty? No.
Just avoided and ignored
They linger in what could have been
Nipping at my heels, reminding me of what sort of person I am
I am not hurt
I am the hurt
And with that I turn from wonder
And refuse to wander
Jan 2015 · 899
Rochelle R Jan 2015
There is no "us" anymore.
There is only you.
I am but a ghostly soul trapped in a functioning cage.
But you!
You have so much potential to fulfill!
If you could see you, the way I do...
Oh well then, we would have to run to keep up.
Nothing would stop you.
Except "us".

That's why, loves, I must make my adieu.
I'm sparing you from me.
And that's the only gift I have worth giving.
Call it a parting-gift,
Though it's nothing at all compared to what you deserve.
I'm sorry for suffering you with "us".

Forgive me, my moons.
I wanted to be amongst your stars.
But I am just a comet,
My fate burns out much faster than yours.
And soon there won't even be a memory
Of  the "us" that was so very unjust.
Jan 2015 · 595
Rochelle R Jan 2015

By The ** off their album Coexist

Light reflects from your shadow
It is more than I thought could exist
You move through the room
Like breathing was easy
If someone believed me

They would be
As in love with you as I am
They would be
As in love with you as I am
They would be
As in love with you as I am
They would be
In love, love, love

And everyday
I'm learning about you
The things that no one else sees
And the end comes too soon
Like dreaming of angels

And leaving without them
And leaving without them

As in love with you as I am
As in love with you as I am
As in love with you as I am
As in love, love, love
Love, love, love
Love, love, love

And with words unspoken
A silent devotion
I know you know what I mean
And the end is unknown
But I think I'm ready
As long as you're with me

As in love with you as I am
As in love with you as I am
As in love with you as I am
As in love, love, love
This song, this song sings the poem my heart can't express.
Jan 2015 · 565
In Her Wake
Rochelle R Jan 2015
She's a thousand miles from where she needs to be,
With a hundred and seven things to do.
And the only things she manages are
"Wince, breath, hold it in, and turn blue."
She turns to see a path carved of her own destruction

In her wake.

Unaware of how she got here, and now:
Her heart is torn in two.
You think it's wether it's him or wether it's you.
But it's wether it's to sleep forever or stay 'til forever gives up on her.
She stumbles on the trail of bodies

In her wake.

It's months or maybe millennia later,
Time has no compassion here.
Her immortal face is as unwavering as stone.
But the scars she's counted have undoubtably grown.
Her bones hide secrets the whole world knows.
And though she'll burn from the heat of the stones they throw.
Everything is still drowning amongst waves

In her wake.

But she knows how to make time and all of everything stand still.
She can ease the world of her venomous touch.
With a single bolt of lead and palm full of small white relief,
At last,
All of us can be put out of her misery.
Only the obligatory tears will fall
When the guest books from her history spill from the celebratory halls

At  *her wake.
If only that was the end!
But this is where it all begins (again).
As her bones turn to ash and summer to autumn,
A single drop of blood ignites a light.
A new dawn has begun.
And now there is only a bare foot print molded in the mud from her ascent.
With the only premeditated thought she's ever had,
This time there will only be ghosts left

*In her wake.*
Rochelle R Jan 2015
I wish I could stop all the time around me.
But keep moving, myself.
So I could have time.
And see it all.
And get better.
And know what to do.

It's not an option.
So I have to do these things
while everyone keeps moving.
Which makes it all more complicated.
And confusing.
And hard.

Please know I hear your offers for help.
And appreciate them.
But I cannot accept.
Helping me is just not something that will actually help me.
I have to sort this,
with out anyone else.

It's so loud.
And Oh!
It's too much.
The white interference.
A symphonic cacophony.
And I'm just more (and more)
lost than before.
Caught in a tide.
Frantic to hide.
And I want to stop.


Jan 2015 · 671
Original Sin
Rochelle R Jan 2015
I'm trying, I swear.
I'm stuck. Trying not to dispair.
It's bitter cold, inside this whole affair.
Frozen words, the only repair.

Help is near.
But I'm swallowed in fear.
Inside out, not one tear.
So close, yet so far, from my soughten cheer.

My instincts abandoned.
My emotions are stranded.
I'm at the precipice of where I've landed.
And nothing is ok, from where I'm standing.

I'm unfolding again.
I watch it begin.
So hold on my loves,
For the girl within, (the original sin).
Nov 2014 · 784
The Lull
Rochelle R Nov 2014
I've woken up haunted by the ghosts of my own demons.
An ominous presence lurks just outside the edges of my peripheral vision.
The impending chaos hovers over my head like an untapped thunder cloud.
The fragile calm inside my head is eerily similar to an abandoned hospital.
Each room holding the possibility of a new fear,
Threatening to burst forth like a jack-in-the-box.
I know I've arrived.
There's no direction, no forks left in this road.
I must move forward.
My next step will take me right off the edge of this cliff.
I can't see the bottom, but somehow know that once I reach it, I'll survive.
The forces holding me back are the vacuum of a vortex.
******* with all their might,
pulling me back to the past.
That past.
That déjà vu.
That endless pulse of a lifeless cycle.
Just one step.
I will myself to move,
Paralyzed in my current existence.
The nightmare is a lie,  
I am awake.
This is the lull,
This is the calm before the storm.
Rochelle R Oct 2014
She is breaking.
There's a void in her tracks
and no light ahead.
The conflict between love lust and love lost
is waging it's war on her fleshy shores.
She can't seem to choose a side,
it all looks the same.
"It's a trap" she chokes.

She is freezing.
Her frigid heart is icing over
and her brain is going numb.
A vicious cycle of meandering
through brackish monotony -
looking for a map -
leads to where it all began.
"Nothing changes" she sighs.

She is vanishing.
Whispered honesties go unheard
amidst the cacophony of cross talk
and empty words.
Her absence goes unnoticed
as a silvery ghost of her
robotically relives her daily deeds.
"Anchored in reality" silently.

She is caving.
Breaking down like glass in a relentless tide,
Little pieces of her
are left to join the countless sand.
She's finding there's no escape
from this earthly purgatory
for the damaged and ******.
"There has to be more than this."
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