Afiqah 9h

I still keep my hands
full with hopes
for
it has always been
my greatest sin

-a.

Afiqah 9h

we gradually start
living these lives
for them
and I think that’s how
most of these monsters grew
and made a home
in our souls

-a.

Afiqah 1d

I can’t let or ask my demons
to behave
so goddamn good
since they knew particularly well
how I become so,
and I’ve learned all there is
to favour their kind of sanity
somehow,
nobody can quite undo and twist
my becoming so easily

-a.

Afiqah 2d

she remembers my name,
my voice,
and calls me dear
it was in the way
she brings out my worth, too
that somehow pulls me in,
nestling my soul  
to a slow comforting corner
and till today,
I’m utterly glad
I could still call her like my own

"Happy Birthday Mak"

-a.

Afiqah 3d

I see them,
I see you all
but
unlike you,
they don’t smell like love
and they aren’t completely content
with such fire
where you and I,
both used to savor

-a.

Afiqah 6d

there is some sort of vulgarity
to what sits in
with my fears and anxieties
an unwelcoming addition to my body
and I swear I could feel them the most
whenever I try to reconnect
what is and what isn't
yet I still see my demons all dressed
in a gloriously titled guise
sometimes
I can't quite tell apart

-a.

Afiqah Oct 14

I come back,
I come back to those nights,
those nights that reeked heavy full
of sweaty hearts and poetry,
sweaty hearts and longing hands that
spreads an absolute warmth
only one could recognize
yet I still keep coming back and wonder,
“Is there ever a night that came
and the moon reminds you
of my flawed soul?"


-a.

Afiqah Oct 14

I know
I’ve seen enough,
I’ve felt enough
but sometimes,
I can never unlearned this ugly habit
of scratching myself out too wildly
and live with the irony of it all
that I’m just too good at weighing
these triggering parts
but never too good at unremembering
how and what made them all stay

-a.

Afiqah Oct 14

sometimes,
I fear for my own becoming
other times,
I just simply enjoy
sitting before my demons
as I wear my skin slightly thicker
just being
under their lamps
full of all their ugly reckonings

-a.

helena alexis Oct 10

it’s 9:30pm on a
chilly autumn night
i step into the
passengers seat
of your car as you
start the engine

loud music blaring from
the speakers as the bass
shakes the entire car

we stop at a red light
I turn to look at you
as the red light perfectly
hits your face
i smile

your grip on the steering
is so strong that i can see
your veins popping out

you look so focused
when you drive
it’s sexy
with only one hand
on the wheel
the other i wish
was gripping my thigh

late night drives
with you are
my favorite

he took me home last night so I decided to write about it :)
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