i watch the sunlight drown it dives down full of despair i see you closely behind me in the shadows of the dark tears streaming like rivers down your beautiful face i reach out to caress you but as soon as i touch your face i am burned, you are made of fire
you ignited a fire inside my bones i am now a part of you i’m too close to the flame my heart is now scorched ashes thanks to you, i’m melting into you “i’m sorry” you say as our souls fuse together as one again
burn me once, shame on you burn me twice, i am yours once again
The first is a young man in a Wu-Tang shirt who speaks in ebonics,
Except when it comes to black lives he says what happened to equality. All lives matter to say only black lives is nonsense.
The Second is a women in her 40s, she takes two steps and looks around and makes eye contact with the bartender.
The bartender shakes his head and walks away. She says he should know his place, I'm always right. I want to speak with the manager.
The Third is a older Man who has a box in his night stand, with a white hood and pictures he treasures of him with his clan.
Now theres a red hat that has taken its place, just Politics. So this racism is okay, he says to himself. As he's driving thru the projects with his doors locked, waving at all his neighbors he hates. Wearing the same fake smile, he hates their skin. They hate the place.
What has been learned can also be forgotten.
When black men bawl in cries for life with their deaths by a cops hand,
We mind our business until they kneel before the flag....
Then we blackball them.
As if there is another time that we collectively watch them.
White privilege is "that's not my problem."
Three white people walk into a bar,
If this is the set up for a joke then it's one that has gone too far.
The world is grey. Well...slightly more so now. The nerve endings have healed. Yet the numbness has lingered. I stumble on my own feet getting out of bed. Is it that hard to believe I’m simply. Average. I get more lost with compass in hand. Although I can tell you how to find north. Theoretical knowledge always worked in school. But my life mentor is absent. What happens when there is no teacher in gym. A bunch of kids wandering the grounds. Some fighting. More aimlessly wagging their tongues. Trying to figure out the social heirarchy. Then there is me. Smoking a cig at the edge of the property. Day dreaming of past events. Even then I secluded myself. Unknowingly laying the ground work for the next ten years. Countless routines repeated with different faces and surroundings. Sometimes even the words would transition into the other. In those moments I was living faux dejavu. Losing my mind to my own reflections shadow. If only I had read the letter My past self had written to my future self telling present me to listen to the mistakes I already made. Maybe things would have been different. The possibilities is what destroys the intellegent mind. Not pain. It’s the “why”. The only question that will truly have no answer if asked enough. And I can’t seem to stop asking.
It’s strange. Not for the fact that i feel this way but because i don’t know any other way to be. I don’t consider it holding it in because it’s not a burden. My fathers memory will never be a burden to me. His absence...now that is a different story.
Love today looks like brown butter bourbon ice cream and sunlight Like body oil on soft legs And smoothie cream in even softer hair Like breathing and disappearing in sheets Like breast free of cups that don't hold me like the universe does Like lips that taste of caramel And a bedroom that heals in lavender Like woman done waiting Like woman simply being Like body untouched, un-tethered.
The soil where I am supposed to grow Can be found deep under concrete Under layers of dirt and steel Sheltered from the sun under skylines of glass The fertile earth lays not at the surface But saturated far below That is where I will be planted When I can find the strength to dig so deep And I will root myself in place And burrow back up through the earth Breaking through cracks in the sidewalk A tiny sprout of life that will flourish Into a seemingly beautiful accident And become too striking and too mighty To destroy The natural phenomenon among skyscrapers