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malluraeh Jun 20
you live in my dreams
i can only see you;
when i close my eyes
when i fall asleep
when i think of, what i need the most;

the first thing in my mind is you

you live in my dreams
i dont know who you are
yet i feel so safe when i dream of you
mia Apr 17
I hover over fractured water
the porcelain compels me to lean closer

"I am not lovable"
Bony parts bruise faster.
I think to myself.
I look down at my arms. They are tinted yellow from the fading bruises.

Fatty parts bruise harder.
I think to myself.
I look down at my thighs, they have black spots scattered over them.

I sigh and touch my collarbones protruding from my body.
I stack the coins. I can fit 17 on each collarbone.

I look in the mirror and I know I am looking at a hollowed out skeleton, but all I see is me .. just as I've always looked, grey, boring, ordinary...
Sam Maye Mar 9
packets of crisps
not even crumbs are left
the cookie jar is empty
and that jug of sweet tea
washed it all down
so it could come up easy
so it could come up
into the toilet it goes
along with my fear.
Malloh Feb 16
i am such a failure
that if ana taught a class
i would rarely pass
i'm a slacker to her
i try to skip her class
but eventually get dragged in
and if mia was a teacher
i would be an old student
rarely attending
her class is no longer one i want
my final grade
for either of them
would not be passing
because i can't even be empty correctly
Malloh Feb 16
it starts slow
each and every time
losing sleep
extra focus on school
baggy shirts
a sucker replaces breakfast
quitting fun activities
staying quiet more often
eating only half my lunch
shutting myself in my room
baggy shirts become hoodies
barely looking in mirrors
lying becomes easy again
the truth is harder to spit out that swallow
feeling colder as the days go by
making a game out of periods
"hunger pains or cramps? haha guess i'll never know"
melatonin almost every night
mirrors make me sick
lunch is cut out of the day
making up excuses
nobody questions
cafeteria is pointless now
spending lunch in the hallways
sometimes a classroom
dinner is only half touched
water is the only thing that fills me
school work and exercising takes up all my time

and i'm only at "barely looking in mirrors" now
Malloh Feb 16
the numbers are all that matter
i keep track of them
whenever they go up
and every time they



closer to beauty
closer to perfection
closer to zero
My life, is no longer my life
My skin, is no longer my skin
My mind and body isn't mine either
It is yours Mia
I have surrendered myself to you
I am tired of fighting you
I no longer have the energy
For you have stolen that too
I stand on both my knees
Asking for your forgiveness
Purge me of my guilt
Allow my bone to be sharp as knives
Stomach flat as paper
Let my collerbones allow me to fly
Fly far far away
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